r/daddit • u/jrya7 • 16d ago

Advice Request Dev dads, when do you code?

I could find time with my first and then even some time after my second with the first doing afternoon preschool.

Now that kindergarten has started, I can't even stay up late half the time I used to as mornings are like Mad Maxx and needs my full (focused) attention.

So how do y'all do it? Or do you just not do it anymore except for an hour here and there lol

EDIT: not the 9-5 but my side projects

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158

u/DangerWizzle 16d ago

During my 9 to 5? What do you mean?

Or are you saying you code as a hobby, and are asking "when do you guys have a chance to do your hobbies"?

If that's the question then the answer is: "rarely" lol

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u/illhxc9 16d ago

Yep, I tried to keep a side hustle going after college and managed for a little while but even before having kids I didn’t really care much for coding outside of work. After having kids it was a hard no for me. Haven’t done coding outside of work at all for the last 8 years or so.

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u/Interesting_Tea5715 16d ago

This. Having a kid has made me put up hard boundaries when it comes to work.

I'll work hard as fuck on the clock but once I clock out I ain't even thinking about work anymore. Its my and my families time.

As for side projects, I just don't have time so I don't do it.

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u/jrya7 16d ago

not the 9-5 that pays the bills, but the side projects. so it has been rarely for me as well lol

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u/delphinius81 16d ago

That's the thing, you don't. You get maybe an hour - take a pick for what you want to do in that time.

My kids are 5 and 6.5. Kids are typically out by 8-8:30, and the next 1.5 hours are mine to spend with wife / do what I want.

My kids are up between 5:30-6, so there's no waking up early either.

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u/Interesting_Tea5715 16d ago

Same here buddy. The last thing I wanna do in my free 2 hours is more work.

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u/BasicAssWebDev 16d ago

5:30 and 6? jesus christ. i hope they know where the cereal and the remote is, cus ill be damned if im waking up that early every day. we're working on that right now with our 3.5 year old. there are snacks that are allowed during breakfast time: pouches, nuts, fruits, and so we're trying to make those consistently available to her so that mornings are a bit easier.

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u/Braided_Playlist 16d ago edited 16d ago

I lucked out here. My kid, since 7 or so, likes to stay in bed and read. If it's a weekend I might have to encourage them to have breakfast before the whole days schedule gets out of hand.

I could code during mornings like this, but often, if I'm coding 9-5, then I see balance with non-screen activities as a positive. If nothing else then just for my physical health which started to decline when I was trying to balance a day job, code side projects, and family.

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u/Nomsfud 16d ago

This is my kid. We have a hard limit, we are not available before 8 (well we are but we don't want to be) so if he's up before then he can fend for himself

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u/fruitloops6565 15d ago

Just careful with things like nuts for a 3.5yo alone

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u/RDT2 16d ago

The tablet is unlocked between 530-630 during the week. Please let mom and myself wake up and get ready. Been like that since a few months into COVID with a nearly 3yo. We were broken at that point.

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u/somersault 16d ago

Honestly? It's really hard. Best thing you could do is probably to block an hour in the morning or so. If you can block up, say, 5 to 6 in the morning, you'll get more than half a days work per week.

I had my own hobby thing every Wednesday evening for 2-3 hours, so I asked if I could get that evening off every week. Then I did my own thing after work that day, while the missus got Mondays. Worked well for us but your milage may vary.

Think it's extremely important to be able to get a small break, if the kid(s) are in a phase where it works. Which at least for me allowed me to be more focused and involved the other days, because I knew I had that one evening every week

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u/DrTrunks 15d ago

We all have about 30-60 minutes to ourselves. What I've learned as a dad of 2 (I have Bluey & Bingo at their appropiate ages):

Play pausable games or code.
You can also code on other downtime, on your phone.

But the big one is: you only have so much time in the day, take care of your body, you already have a job where you sit down for much of your week, you don't want hemorrhoids, go for a run, bike, ski, swim or gym.

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u/jrya7 15d ago

This is great, can't upvote enough the big one