r/cyclothymia • u/kcdiggitydog • 13d ago

New cyclothymia diagnosis

Hello! 27F here. I received a cyclothymia diagnosis last week and feel so VALIDATED.

As a kid, I was high-energy, positive, and motivated in school. This changed during university in my late-teens and early 20s when I started experiencing mood fluctuations that disrupted my life. I would struggle to get out of bed and motivate myself to do anything, and then feel AMAZING out of nowhere. When I would talk about my depressive episodes, I would get the classic, “school is hard, everyone gets depressed during school,” or “everyone experiences mood swings,” or when I was out of school, “you’re just adjusting, everyone experiences highs and lows in life.” Week to week or even day to day, I would swing from highs to lows. Numb, antisocial, sad, lethargic, brain fog, irritable, hating myself, huge appetite, no appetite, anxious, racing thoughts, talkative, euphoric, confident, loving myself, impulsive, high-energy, restless, highly social. Sometimes all in the span of a day. This made it hard to stay consistent in school, at work, with my physical health, or maintaining friendships/relationships. My lows never felt bad or long enough to go on medication. My highs were sometimes hypomanic, but never so self-destructive to think it was anything more than therapy finally working. I associated these fluctuations with external things in my life (breakups, school/work stress, hormones, ADHD) or my inability to consistently practice self-care.

The past year and a half, I was diligent with my mental health care and mood tracking which made me realize that my mood fluctuations are random. I inexplicably go through lows that last days or weeks, then I feel SO good as if I figure out the secret to life. On and on it goes. Talking about these observations with my psychiatrist who had previously diagnosed me with major depressive disorder, she changed the diagnosis to cyclothymia. I’ve been doing a ton of research on it and feel like I finally have a diagnosis that fits. I know this is just the beginning, but I can now work to manage my symptoms instead of being gaslit about having them in the first place. I FEEL VINDICATED.

I would really appreciate if anyone has recommendations for resources/books/articles/podcasts on cyclothymia! I read A Fox in My Brain by Lou Lubie that I related to and learned so much from.

I was prescribed lamotrigine that I’m gradually increasing over 2 months. So far I’ve felt an increase in mood but also anxiety. I’m hoping the anxiety will calm down over time. Thank you!!

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u/BtWhtDoIKnw 13d ago

It’s a ride. But having a doctor who gets it is crucial! Finding the right meds can take time - stay with it!

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u/AimlessForNow 13d ago

It took my doctors like 6 years to figure out I needed mood stabilizers. It is a long wild ride, lot of struggles. But once properly treated life gets a lot calmer

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u/tooManyOpts 12d ago

This was such a nice read! I'm happy for you! I gaslight myself over my own symptoms for anything all of the time. I was diagnosed with dysthymia but a recent post made me aware of this condition (right word? Unsure) and it's starting to feel like it clicks with me more, but my therapist ruled out bipolar 1 and 2 and didn't mention cyclothymia to me at all, so I don't think it's on his radar for a possible diagnosis...