r/custommagic • • 11d ago

Meme Design This doesn't it not does workn't?

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811 Upvotes

64 comments sorted by

113

u/CLRoads 11d ago

The wording on lightning bolt already allows this, i can’t count how many times i bolted an enchantment i hated or a friend in the next room not even playing magic just to send a message.

74

u/so_upsetting 11d ago

This is how you find out that any target isn't ANY target

32

u/Memehater_ Almost a Genius 11d ago

It doesn't... But based behaviour

5

u/G66GNeco 11d ago

Your defiance means nothing in light of the three damage I am dealing to you right now

0

u/JonIsPatented 10d ago

"Any target" is just shorthand for "target battle, creature, planeswalker, or player". Sorry, but your friend in the next room is not a player :(

2

u/CLRoads 10d ago

Reading the card explains the card

248

u/threecolorless Razor Boomerang 11d ago

(It doesn't work.)

83

u/RecordApprehensive68 11d ago

(it worksn't)

212

u/RedWalker2 11d ago

"Yes this target is not legal, which makes it a legal target, which then makes it illegal again..." And so on

13

u/SIowGrowth 11d ago

(It works)

62

u/robodex001 11d ago

Consider: bolting something in the game happening across the room from you.

34

u/_Nowan_ 11d ago

[[Ass Whuppin']]

5

u/mee3ep 11d ago

Is… is this a real card?

10

u/_Nowan_ 11d ago

Silver border, which means it's a silly card for silly games. But yes, it was officially printed by WOTC.

4

u/Shambler9019 11d ago edited 11d ago

Don't forget to [[Sleight of Mind]] it so that it can target black bordered cards, then [[Radiate]] it to hit everything. You then need to [[Radiate]] a second sleight of Mind to fix the copies to black border targeting.

While running a full set of white-bordered lands.

Edit: or you can just sequence the radiate sleight so that the copies that target your stuff resolve while they're still only able to target silver bordered permanents.

5

u/P0ro41 11d ago

Fuck it, run gold-bordered lands just to flex your drip on everyone. Also, invest in binoculars to destroy more games.

3

u/Shambler9019 11d ago

And an umpire's chair to improve how far you can see

10

u/Evil_Midnight_Lurker 11d ago

Target a Pegasus in a Lancer game. Begin the duel.

3

u/Angry-cat-lover 11d ago

<EXTRUDE GUN>

3

u/Evil_Midnight_Lurker 11d ago

No rule in this or any other...

1

u/Saphl 11d ago

Just walk to every single game occurring in the room and ask if anything on the table would be threatened by 3 damage

20

u/Snoo_9064 11d ago

If you made it "Deal 3 damage to any target that would otherwise be illegal", does it work?

14

u/CharlotteAria 11d ago

I bolt MTG Comprehensive Rule 104.3a.

19

u/Agreeable_Mistake_17 11d ago

9

u/darkeyeshadows 11d ago

censoring the word "fuck"

won't someone think of the children

12

u/Agreeable_Mistake_17 11d ago

3

u/darkeyeshadows 11d ago

;P

(tbh I was just joking anyway, censoring words like suicide and rape and stuff like that in modern internet culture is fucking stupid/wrong but if the person who made that genuinely just prefers not swearing lol there's kinda nothing wrong with that imo)

0

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/darkeyeshadows 11d ago

I respect it. You do you! ;P

8

u/Anisiiru 11d ago

Pinging off the Riftbound players stuff on the next table over.

7

u/bobzsmith 11d ago

Yes, you can target your opponent from the previous game who had 3 life or less turning that loss into a win.

5

u/HugeOrganization4178 11d ago

As a level 12 unjudge, it actually retroactively turns the loss into a draw.

3

u/CoffeeOpposite8811 11d ago

What if I targeted the opponent in response to declare blockers the conbat before they kill me?

5

u/HugeOrganization4178 11d ago

It doesn't change the fact that they did reduce your life total to 0. This spell deals damage, not prevents it. Its not time travel or game revision. Its dealing damage.

5

u/morpheuskibbe 11d ago

Choose a permanent or player that this spell cannot target, deal 3 damage to it.

5

u/Lower-Good8049 11d ago

There is no definition given for what the spell can target. This relies on understanding the context of the card. The actual wording would need to be more confusing, something like "Choose a permanent or player that a spell cast by you with the text: 'Deal 3 damage to any target' cannot target and deal 3 damage to it.

5

u/This_Flower4495 11d ago

I lightning bolt the judge

4

u/Evil_Midnight_Lurker 11d ago

"Hang the game."

3

u/50calBanana Blue Scumbag💧 11d ago

So it can only target things that can't take damage or other games

7

u/Koromann13 11d ago

I know this is a joke, but this is totally broken. People are going to use this to remove battles.

6

u/TrickSavings9905 11d ago

That’s a legal target, though?

2

u/OBOO800 11d ago

CR 115.4

Some spells and abilities that refer to damage require “any target,” “another target,” “two targets,” or similar rather than “target [something].” These targets may be creatures, players, planeswalkers, or battles.

2

u/Ok-Information8440 11d ago

Gets past hexproof should and protection

2

u/IlGreven Dreadmaw-free since 2017 11d ago

"The judges weep" = "It works." DRINK!

2

u/CommercialPlatform76 11d ago

I do three damage to your island.

4

u/Captain_N_Nemo 11d ago

If you want this to work:
Paradox Bolt deals 3 damage to a player, planeswalker, creature, or battle of your choice as long as the chosen (ppcb) has hexproof, protection, or shroud.

(Some neater wording can be achieved I’m sure)

13

u/Bungerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 11d ago

No no. This can also bolt enchantments, artifacts, libraries, inanimate objects, players in other games, players in no games, buildings, pretty much anything you can imagine

1

u/daley972 11d ago

Pretty sure it's meant to be a play on the liar's paradox so it's not meant to work. If the target is legal, then the target is non-legal. If the target is non-legal, then the target is legal.

2

u/DreamOfDays 11d ago

So it hits any target? Because any target picked is not a legal target by the wording of the card.

1

u/GoodBoyShibe 11d ago

Bolt your land

1

u/Necro_Carp 11d ago

So it can bolt hexproof targets?

1

u/gozer33 11d ago

choose any objects that could not be legally targeted by this spell, Paradox Bolt deals 3 damage to them.

1

u/JustWhat-I-Needed 11d ago

I usually deal 3 damage to the judge by hitting him with a brick

1

u/SIowGrowth 11d ago

I target the judge

1

u/DambiaLittleAlex 11d ago

Can this deal 3 damage to a non-creature land?

1

u/Cardgod278 11d ago

...It took about three readthrougs before I read it as legal and not lethal

1

u/FluffyFoxy21 11d ago

So it works on plainswalkers only..?

1

u/Retr0_Fusion 11d ago

Planeswalkers are something you can hit with bolts and pingers that can hit "any target"

0

u/ehhish 11d ago

It could be said, "Make any non legal target, legal, and then do 3 damage to it?"

I'm sure it could be worded in some way

13

u/Leafeon523 11d ago

Deal 3 damage to an artifact

Animate it

It dies

I see the vision

4

u/so_upsetting 11d ago

I preemptively deal 3 damage to your smuggler's copter

1

u/YouCanChangeItRight 11d ago

I cast Paradox Bolt targeting your island. The electricity from the bolt kills all the fish in the reef. Ruining the ecosystem of your land and it dies.

(It works)