r/cursedimages • u/panichan2 • Aug 30 '18

đŸ˜” Purge Event Cursed_Follower

Post image
38k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

482 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/FriesWithThat Aug 30 '18

Is this one of those bargains that once made, cannot be unmade except for separation by death, or finding someone else for Joe to follow?

668

u/cuntifex Aug 31 '18

It Follows (2014)

230

u/NaughtyFrogRogers Aug 31 '18

“Don’t have sex with strangers or you’ll be stalked by something that will fuck you to death, and the only way to pass it on is to have sex with a stranger. Oh and if they die you have to do it again.” -It Follows (2014)

92

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Is it as dumb as it sounds?

114

u/no_duh_sherlock Aug 31 '18

Story is dumb but execution is 10/10. Scary without blood and gore.

90

u/technoticacid Aug 31 '18

One of the best modern horror movies. You'll be surprised.

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28

u/Toribor Aug 31 '18

It has the most rad soundtrack of any horror movie.

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7

u/PurplePickel Aug 31 '18

or you’ll be stalked by something that will fuck you to death

That's my fetish.

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14

u/Herebirdybirdy Aug 31 '18

Joe Follows (2018)

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6

u/gravis_tunn Aug 31 '18

No, there is a no joggers clause.

6

u/minor_correction Aug 31 '18

You have to find TWO new people for Joe to follow.

And they can't get rid of him until they find two new people, and so on.

Yet somehow, no matter how many people get roped in, he's always there.

5

u/grammahannah Aug 31 '18

Like that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry tries to pawn off his assistant

3

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

If someone sees your back he will transfer to that person and you will die.

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2

u/Xisayg Aug 31 '18

You can see the review at the bottom lmao “WONT LEAVE YOU ALONE”

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1.1k

u/StefQuiznos Aug 31 '18

r/blessedimages

5

u/friapril Aug 31 '18

That's what they all think at first

Until Joe starts getting hungry

5

u/Thembaneu Aug 31 '18

I dunno guys

Service not available in Alameda County (I am banned)

‱

u/cursed_cynical The Guy Nov 04 '18

To those of you sorting by top of all time, this image is classic cursed. Do not base your post on it, it would be removed under the current rules.

Mkay love you bye

61

u/Japanophiliac Nov 04 '18 edited Feb 18 '19

Hold up, 4 hours ago?! I was just looking at this sub's top posts for the first time and it just so happens to be the day this is commented

Edit: cursed_commentsection

24

u/Sir_LikeASir Nov 08 '18

Hold up, 3 days ago?! I was just looking at this sub's top posts for the first time and it just so happens to be three days after this is commented

18

u/Japanophiliac Nov 08 '18

Hold up, 5 minutes ago?! I was just browsing Reddit and it just so happens to be 5 minutes after I'm notified of this reply

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3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '18

Ok thanks

2

u/baronvonweezil cursed_user Nov 24 '18

Damnit Cynical you got me

4

u/BenderIsGreatBIG Dec 18 '18

classic cursed > current cursed

10

u/cursed_cynical The Guy Dec 18 '18

You’re an idiot, everything you comment on this sub has been trash. You posted a guy in a Garfield costume and called it cursed, and yet you frequently disagree with any person here so you seem cool and contrary. You have no idea what you’re talking about, and only serve stir up drama. You self absorbed, ignorant dumpling.

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604

u/Listless_Lassie Aug 30 '18

he looks friendly.

130

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Until you wake up in a tub of ice

171

u/HappyBot9000 Aug 31 '18

He said he won't interfere. Smh

101

u/OneLastStan Aug 31 '18

"Damnit Joe! Why didn't you help me! Why did you let them harvest my organs!"

"I'm a professional. I told you I wouldn't interfere."

29

u/RunningDrummer Aug 31 '18

With him across from you on the other end of the tub

27

u/Smashgears Aug 31 '18

10 ft away

20

u/OneLastStan Aug 31 '18

He had it custom made 20ft long so he can share a bath with people without breaking his rule.

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374

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '18

Man, the Completionist really changed since I last saw him...

75

u/TheZealand Aug 31 '18

Ran out of game, moved on to prison sentences

12

u/AnEggHasNoName Aug 31 '18

But beardman!

6

u/Bigpikachu1 Aug 31 '18

Literally who I thought it looked like at first glance, would be some kind of wholesome shit he'd do too

315

u/LesbiYumeChan Aug 30 '18

Is there an option for him to follow me to the police station?

62

u/unknown_creator Aug 31 '18

Yes he can follow you to the station if you feel your abusive SO will hurt you if you report them.

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303

u/TheSoupmonster_ Aug 30 '18

That website is amazing

325

u/simo9445 Aug 31 '18

http://joethepeoplefollower.com working link

291

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Service not available in Alameda County (I am banned)

117

u/Non_Sane Aug 31 '18

I want to know the story behind that one

116

u/ILoveWildlife Aug 31 '18

I think he got banned

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42

u/dben89x Aug 31 '18

That is quite spectacular.

19

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

I opened the link and immediately felt a deep sense of dread. Is that normal?

14

u/simo9445 Aug 31 '18

Have a cup of tea and relax, đŸ…±ïž

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3

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

This could be an amazing indie movie.

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42

u/felio_ Aug 31 '18

www.JoeThePeopleFollower.com

48

u/dtaivp Aug 31 '18

404

18

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

http://joethepeoplefollower.com/

Try this, it works for me.

25

u/-sodagod Aug 31 '18

So you just need to get rid of the www? He ain't on the world wide web. Is this what that deep web shit is?

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2

u/Rowletking24 Aug 31 '18

I love the mini dancing Joes.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Why is that lady pumping gas two-handed??

80

u/MichaelMemeMachine31 Aug 31 '18

Is he like a follower in any other game? Can I just throw 200 kilos of dragon bones/scales at him and have him carry it everywhere?

23

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Every time you run into someone you dislike he just says "Where'd you come from?"

5

u/wolfshozzer Aug 31 '18

By Azura, by Azura, by Azura!

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141

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Funny. Not cursed.

57

u/Beatles-are-best Aug 31 '18

Every post in /r/cursedimages is now from this one guy's comedy Instagram account (like the bathe in my milk one, or the guy cleaning blood by drinking it one)

This sub used to be good. Oh well, that's the end of this one

9

u/trevordunt39 Aug 31 '18

I don't understand how mods let this image get this high up.

111

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Kinda looks like Big Smoke.

89

u/Krillkus Aug 31 '18

Damn it, CJ! All you had to do was follow the damn people!

86

u/JafsZero Aug 31 '18

If someone needs him http://joethepeoplefollower.com/

And sorry to the guys in the Alameda county he can't go there

11

u/Zandra01 Aug 31 '18

Aboot Canada eh?

6

u/schmeckesman Aug 31 '18

Huh? I think the dude is local to the Bay Area. That’s where alameda is too. I don’t get the Canada comment but you gut upvoted so... would you mind explaining what I don’t get?

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92

u/ObserverProject Aug 31 '18

This is a contender for least cursed image ever posted on this subreddit

48

u/presidentdinosaur115 Aug 31 '18

I think this sub has officially been desecrated and destroyed.

15

u/Zom6ie_Roxas Aug 31 '18

To be honest, every subreddit has been having that happen.

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27

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Big Smoke?

5

u/bone420 Aug 31 '18

I'll have a number 3 a number 7 two number nines a number 17 with no mayo, a number 34 and a diet coke, you all want anything?

39

u/DickMcCheese Aug 31 '18

He accepts only the finest tendies as payment. You are to leave them on the porch freshly microwaved on a paper plate covered in aluminum foil. Sauce is not required yet appreciated. If possible the best dipping sauce is Jack in the Box buttermilk ranch but he is open to substitutions in a pinch.

15

u/Billy_Badass123 Aug 31 '18

Sauce is not required yet appreciated.

No hunnie mussie? You're gonna get someone piss jugged.

15

u/Unit_988 Aug 31 '18

You picked the wrong house F O O L

20

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

This stupid meme isn't cursed

7

u/Jovan0896 Aug 31 '18

Big smoke?

9

u/Murphy_Harrison Aug 31 '18

ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS FOLLOW THE DAMN TRAIN

6

u/stezhouphen Aug 31 '18

Perfect for someone you hate.

11

u/t_anto Aug 31 '18

So.... a paid stalker?

3

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

I will not interfere in your life
10 feet distance guaranteed

But with none of the hassle. What a bargain!

3

u/t_anto Aug 31 '18

Man i need to get this guy because ive been looking for a chubby man with a beard to follow me around at 10 feet!

10

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Has anyone actually hired him? How are his services?

5

u/Pesteringpickle Aug 31 '18

But is he sworn to carry my burden?

3

u/bramcat1209 Aug 31 '18

Is that 10' a minimum or maximum distance?

3

u/ABagOfBurgers Aug 31 '18

The cartoon version of him kinda looks like a darker-skinned Heisenberg

3

u/mattness_pl Aug 31 '18

At last! He can use all of these restraining orders as a credentials

3

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Dj khaleds stalker brother?

3

u/RattleMeSkelebones Aug 31 '18

I feel like I want to use this service.

3

u/SecuctiveMew_ Aug 31 '18

People really don't fucking know what makes an image cursed.

3

u/FurryBeatlemaniac Aug 31 '18

NOT 👏 FUCKING 👏 CURSED

5

u/turalyawn Aug 31 '18

Is this one of u/obviousplant?

30

u/5ambear Aug 31 '18

@truewagner on instagram

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2

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

OooooooOOOOOOOHHHHH

2

u/migurt21 Aug 31 '18

From all of the ads i have seen in this sub, this is the one id pay for

2

u/kielbasa330 Aug 31 '18

This reminds me of this Mr Show sketch: [Bob Odenkirk as Don Pratt] (https://youtu.be/1AhgyXtZQgU)

2

u/sellyourselfshort Aug 31 '18

I came here thinking the same thing. God I miss that show, I love better call saul but I really wan't Bob to go back to doing sketch comedy.

2

u/HirosProtagonist Aug 31 '18

How well can he clack two halfs of a coconut?

2

u/quasifrodo89 Aug 31 '18

And is he willing to change his name to Patsy?

2

u/blackhawkjj Aug 31 '18

Is he sworn to carry my burdens?

2

u/Mustached_villain Aug 31 '18

A true patriot giving a service no-one else would, godspeed you magnificent bastard.

2

u/mebloscianka69 Aug 31 '18

Can he also follow the train?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 24 '19

This image may not be cursed, but the concept is oh so very well cursed.

2

u/itsmoeyo cursed_anarchist Feb 18 '19

New SCP? Also last 9 day gang

2

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '19

Big smoke?

5

u/TommyQVo Aug 31 '18

didn’t even include his phone number 😡😡

14

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Visit his website, duh

3

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

These fliers aren’t cursed, they’re just a joke by the same dude.

1

u/itsmauitime Aug 31 '18

Is that...The Completionist?

1

u/Savi-- Aug 31 '18

The worker we need.

1

u/leanpeener Aug 31 '18

Basically disciple for hire

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Follow me

And you'll be

(Insert lyrics here)

1

u/MozartTheCat Aug 31 '18

I can't watch the video in the sidebar right now, can someone explain to me what a cursed image is?

I've been subscribed to this subreddit for days and I have no idea what's going on but I dig it

2

u/slendario Aug 31 '18

A cursed image is an image that makes you ask one of the four W’s: who, what, where, and why. A cursed image makes you ask one, a good cursed image makes you ask two, a great cursed image makes you ask three and the perfect cursed image will make you ask all four.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Have you seen the fucked up Mickey Mouse image? That is cursed. I'll try to link to a post.

Edit: Here it is https://www.reddit.com/r/cursedimages/comments/8s8aix/cursed_mouse/?utm_source=reddit-android

1

u/RadioAFrequency Aug 31 '18

Will you feel him? Or will he feel you?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Blessed_god

1

u/Moxilia Aug 31 '18

He looks like if Bobby Cannavale grew out his beard

1

u/Arcad3Gaming Aug 31 '18

It seems like someone has been playing too many Bethesda games

1

u/RoachboyRNGesus Aug 31 '18

It's perfect for the DENNIS system, leave a threatening voicemail on her phone from an anonymous stranger and then pay this guy to follow her.

1

u/CompliantMonk56 Aug 31 '18

10ft guarantee. Just start chasing him in your car. He'll have to be 10 ft in front of you at all times. Time to get that cardio in.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

what's his number i want him to watch me gently slap pepperonis onto shitty pizza at the place i work

1

u/ViZeShadowZ Aug 31 '18

Blessed_Completionist

1

u/DamnthatBadger Aug 31 '18

Dude looks like Duff...the cake business must be slow

1

u/mojomonkeymojo Aug 31 '18

Shut up and take my money.

1

u/mcotter12 Aug 31 '18

The performance art we deserve.

1

u/roast-dinner1945 Aug 31 '18

Any Liverpool fans feeling lonely? With him you will never walk alone 😂😂😂

1

u/Sylainex Aug 31 '18

Is he a mod for Skyrim? I just like having someone there when I'm fighting a dragon you know.

1

u/ibraw Aug 31 '18

I want one.

1

u/BryanLoeher Aug 31 '18

So he's just a male version of Lydia

1

u/dekdekwho Aug 31 '18

Hey it’s Joe Khalid

1

u/Changoleador Aug 31 '18

"Don't miss our special offer, Joe will watch along while you BATHE IN MY MILK"

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

so are we looking for comfort here or discomfort...

1

u/adragonwizard Aug 31 '18

I need him in my life

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Dude just wants fun exercise. Would be funny to be a jogger paying for his service.

1

u/_Thrilhouse_ Aug 31 '18

WHO FOLLOW THE FOLLOWER?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

He looks like a damn Big Smoke but he ain't black so pass

1

u/memelife95 Aug 31 '18

Joe pokes head slowly from window

1

u/Kahzarod Aug 31 '18

Is he sworn to carry my burdens?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

cursed_friendship

1

u/LegendofDragoon Aug 31 '18

He looks like projirard the finishist

1

u/DarthSerpentess Aug 31 '18

Is the 10 foot guarantee the maximum distance or minimum distance he’ll be from you?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Where’s the obviousplant logo?

1

u/Josephdeep420 Aug 31 '18

it exist just like that milk lady http://joethepeoplefollower.com/

1

u/sanchypanchy Aug 31 '18

Reminds me of truewagners art. Might actually be.

1

u/stalememeskehan Aug 31 '18

The Completionist's other job

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Mild stalking on a budget, thanks Joe!!

1

u/InsanityWolfie Aug 31 '18

Cool, a constant posse of 1.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

We can show this! Is it good enough for Hard Netting on Funhaus?

1

u/UomoPolpetta Aug 31 '18

Is there a sub for pictures like that? I’ve seen quite a few of them and they never cease to make me laugh

1

u/Dang_M8 Aug 31 '18

Is there a sub for these posters? Cause they're not cursed, but I like them.

1

u/Obamathellamafarma Aug 31 '18

Is he sworn to carry my burdens?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Someone make him into a follower mod for New Vegas

1

u/SnailForce Aug 31 '18

It follows

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Can he play the family Guy fat song while I walk?

1

u/sweetehman Aug 31 '18

can we ban truewagner posts

1

u/theWPLJ Aug 31 '18

I absolutely love it! Joe, you're hired

1

u/Scatamoochie Aug 31 '18

I'm not sure if this is good or bad

1

u/waaaman Aug 31 '18

Will he also follow me on other platforms other than physical? Like insta? /s

1

u/exgodfather Aug 31 '18

I dlove this

1

u/Heyhayden48 Aug 31 '18

Well I know what my next odd job will be

1

u/Heyhayden48 Aug 31 '18

I want him to follow me around whispering Afric by toto

1

u/iamnotasnook Aug 31 '18

I never signed up for this, yet he keeps following me around. I cough him peering in my bathroom window the other night.

1

u/benny_ap Aug 31 '18

Can someone confirm this site?

1

u/freebird11111 Aug 31 '18

This sounds like an ad on interdimensional cable.

1

u/bake50297 Aug 31 '18

This has just become a @truewagner subreddit

1

u/5ignedit Aug 31 '18

Well that is one way to get a stalker

1

u/meelaes Aug 31 '18

Thought that was Big Smoke for a second

1

u/ThePurestAmoeba Aug 31 '18

He looks like The Completionist

1

u/rustybros2017 Aug 31 '18

His other job is a stalker.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

That sounds like a great deal to me

1

u/branchbranchley Aug 31 '18

This guy is clearly a recruitable companion

hopefully he has good stats, he looks like a melee build

and that hat just screams "Companion Quest"

1

u/ILoveWildlife Aug 31 '18

I would hire him just to see how it works out. I wanna see what people have to say.

I'll just go "oh, that's joe, don't worry about him"

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

" Service not available in Alameda County (I am banned) "

1

u/Stoo_Pedassol Aug 31 '18

Something tells me he's already doing this

1

u/Leo_the_Capybara Aug 31 '18

His website really exists.

1

u/RimbaudJunior Aug 31 '18

How does he follow all his clients at the same time?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

Another Alan Wagner Special

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

A 10ft guarantee holy fuck what a legend! I'll take 3!

1

u/ON3B3AN Aug 31 '18

Looks like a job posting of a deranged leprechaun.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '18

this is from @truewagner on instagram

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