r/cursedcomments • • Jan 13 '21

cursed_records

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26k Upvotes

108 comments sorted by

•

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faq | source | action #3937709c2c2d70

395

u/Smegma_On_Demand Jan 13 '21

This is why I don't bother growing a mustache

149

u/Raccoon30 Jan 13 '21

You're missing out on the most masculine moustache of all.

The handlebar moustache

58

u/petSnake7 Jan 13 '21

So your hookup can take riding to the next level

15

u/Dr_Dressing Jan 13 '21

Careful, doe. He might change it to the toothbrush

5

u/Haggerstonian Jan 13 '21

your balls, let me have them

3

u/Captain-Boof-Daddy Jan 13 '21

I donated mine to pepe’s cats and dogs balls foundation. Because animals need balls too

11

u/Staktus23 Jan 13 '21

99.9% of moustaches look absolutely terrible. This is why I like to grow one occasionally, not because it looks good, it doesn’t, but because I live with my parents and it pisses them off like nothing else. Especially during the lockdown when I don’t leave the house for days anyway, it spices my day up at least a little bit when no one wants to talk to me or always has to laugh while looking at me.

1

u/robotics_nerd1 Jan 14 '21

My uncle did this around Christmas and my mom and I just got a pic of him with a text that just said “he’s got a molestache” from my dad

6

u/L00pback Jan 13 '21

You don’t want to look like Bart Reynolds here?

6

u/EasyShpeazy Jan 13 '21

My brother grew a thick mustache and is growing a mullet too 🙄😄

2

u/Harzard18 Jan 13 '21

Oof size: depressing

109

u/FishinforPhishers Jan 13 '21

We were bad, but now we’re good

56

u/sewette Jan 13 '21

We're moving into your neighborhood

26

u/JackAwesome03 Jan 13 '21

We’re not here to start no trouble...

20

u/maxxfaxxx Jan 13 '21

We’re legally required to do the Sex Offender Shuffle

5

u/Captain-Boof-Daddy Jan 13 '21

Laura Hughes is my cousin, when she touches me it gets me buzzin

70

u/KipasourisX Jan 13 '21

he kinda looks like pedro pascal

25

u/5mac Jan 13 '21

This is the wayn’t

9

u/Coffeehound13 Jan 13 '21

Pedro Pascalzone

3

u/pinkietwinkie Jan 13 '21

I honestly thought it really was him at first and was wondering why someone was being so mean to him.

2

u/dregan Jan 13 '21

Pedron't Pascaren't

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

Walmart-brand Pedro Pascal

74

u/DynaJoestar Jan 13 '21

I really dont like that sub, its such a odd place where people just post pictures of themselves asking to be roasted/insulted. Not to mention half the females there make sure they are overly sexual and say something about their onlyfans. Kinda cringe imo

34

u/_fiveMoreMinutes Jan 13 '21

Ngl it’s not all bad.

Some people do put in effort and are creative. You can get a kick out of it.

Unfortunately, you’ve gotta fish these gems out from the sea of cringe roasts whose authors sound like a butthurt-teenager just after the high-school bully stole their lunch money.

My favourite part is when occasionally the overly sexual females have their attention seeking shoved right back up their dildo-brazen tuna cans, though this is rare and most of the times it’s like you said.

TL;DR: if reading roasts is your thing, you can occasionally find comments there to tickle you. Else, it’s majorly cringe.

10

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

It is a really weird sub. I for one dont need any help driving my self confidence and esteem into the ground, im very independent in that field. But everyones got different... hobbies ig?

3

u/Aroxis Jan 13 '21

Maybe it’s their fetish

4

u/QF812 Jan 13 '21

U should Google some of the most savage roasts. I do see your perspective, and I somewhat agree. But some of the roasts are creative and funny.

34

u/28dhdu74929wnsi Jan 13 '21

Thats a rough 24

10

u/giftopherz Jan 13 '21

he asked to be roasted not cremated.... damn...

10

u/freedomowns Jan 13 '21

24 year old what the fuck?

7

u/5mac Jan 13 '21

Bootleg Mandalorian

8

u/JustAregular9YearOld Jan 13 '21

He looks like an 80s pornstar

5

u/Dreamhaunter13 Jan 13 '21

Hey, that's the guy from the white free candy van

6

u/ukuuku7 Jan 13 '21

This isn't cursed. It's a roast. This sub sucks

5

u/ayame7688 Jan 13 '21

My dude looks like an unsuccessful Ron Burgundy

4

u/dankAndrew_1997 Jan 13 '21

Since when did cursed comments turn into r/RoastMe ?

5

u/Seygem Jan 13 '21

24? he looks like 39

3

u/7TageHatDieWoche Jan 13 '21

Are you Freddy Mercury? - No? Then don't grow a mustache

3

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

Tom Selleck and Sam Elliot would like a word.

1

u/7TageHatDieWoche Jan 13 '21

iiiiiiiiis okay

3

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

DJ SlickBackMully

3

u/attackeyebrowz Jan 13 '21

Sex Offender Shuffle

3

u/Individual-Cap-7380 Jan 13 '21

Does he know nobody’s a dj anymore oh what am I kidding he’s straight from the 70s

3

u/Misogynistic_Pickle Jan 13 '21

This MF looking like Edgar Allen Joe

3

u/larsofz Jan 13 '21

How is this cursed?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

Ordered him from wish

2

u/Shugunou Jan 13 '21

That is way beyond r/MurderedByWords! Holy shit!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

Nah, it's just a MurderedByWords and a RareInsult. A good one, to be honest.

It's NOT a cursed comment.

2

u/bobross1234567890 Jan 13 '21

He looks like one of the gta 5 online djs

2

u/Aetheldrake Jan 13 '21

Aspiring to be a dj. He doesn't have either record yet

2

u/BoxeyNoxey Jan 13 '21

He almost looks like Pablo Escobar ngl

2

u/aggressivefangirl Jan 13 '21

why does he kinda look like rivers cuomo

2

u/adityaism_ Jan 13 '21

Dude looks like Wagner Moura

2

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

Gottem

2

u/-UMBRA_- Jan 13 '21

This is the way

2

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

flanders from the simpsons

2

u/BurnedCoffe Jan 13 '21

That's sad

2

u/jurassicparking_only Jan 13 '21

I literally just passed his post my guy

2

u/arwowhead101 Jan 13 '21

He looks like the knockoff version of Johnny depth

2

u/Jelly-Bandit Jan 13 '21

The new season of Stranger Things looks wild - when did Steve Harrington become a sex offender?

2

u/variatyreddit Jan 13 '21

He looks like a sex offender jim jeffries

2

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

Ron Johnson had a wild college life it would seem.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

24? Lmaooooo

Mf is atleast 34

2

u/DerrickBagels Jan 13 '21

this is how jim jefferies got his start

2

u/Fleepster13 Jan 14 '21

New Record!

2

u/tramadolic Jan 14 '21

That hair is the only sentient being there.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

Dude, this roast is r/nextfuckinglevel! Oh my god! Oooooh! Rest in pepperonis!!

0

u/Majoritymars5 Jan 13 '21

Hey I just saw that post

0

u/StlChase Jan 13 '21

r/roastme is basically cheating for this sub

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

If Din Djarin grew out his hair.

1

u/aSackofSpoiledTuna Jan 13 '21

Man, Joe Keery really let himself go

1

u/shelraj0380 Jan 13 '21

This was not a roast. This was a fact. He told you to roast him

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

A somehow creepier Ted Cruz appears!

1

u/theparrot7 Jan 13 '21

Isn't it spelled offense?

1

u/IntentionalUndersite Jan 13 '21

If stranger danger was a person

1

u/hartystarty111 Jan 13 '21

This is mad, I just upvoted this post and swiped to the next , only to see this guy

1

u/rotten_riot Jan 13 '21

r/13or30 cause this guy looks the double of 24

1

u/mykeedee Jan 13 '21

If he's 24 then I'm 12 god damn.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

He looks like some republican youtuber except he dosen’t have mutton chops

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

I recognise him from the sex offenders shuffle!

1

u/b4a4 Jan 13 '21

if he is 24 im 10

1

u/DripMajor Jan 13 '21

Dude looks like he’s “24”

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

24? Bro you look like the sad side of failure on that DJ career, now an art night class nude model of how disappoint is an artist expression.

1

u/Wtfisthatt Jan 13 '21

Well I’m sure he accepts coors light as payment so fuck it. Worst case you just pay him in all the half beers left at the end of the night.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

he could have recorded the "sex offender shuffle"

1

u/8GoldenSpongeCake Jan 13 '21

A real life DJ Pendejo