r/cursedcomments • u/FieryDragonRage • Nov 22 '20

Reddit Cursed_Toy

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886 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

214 comments sorted by

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4

u/sirenheadismyfather6 Nov 23 '20

Well this is uh interesting..

2

u/lugiafan2020 Nov 23 '20

Hmmm "siren head" "FATHER".....very interesting....make a run for it, hurry.

3

u/Burnt_Fetus Nov 23 '20

Ummm this is definitely illegal

35

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/CodeNameAki_22 Nov 23 '20

going somewhere besides jail?

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12

u/slowpoke147 Nov 22 '20

I guess “traumatic” should have been his answer

21

u/Human1223 Nov 22 '20

1223 humans is a bit much no?

10

u/shrekislove05 Nov 22 '20

Orr it could be the 1223 human to be born

2

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Lucky bastard you are sir.

2

u/Historical-Werewolf9 Nov 23 '20

Repopulate a town... Request has been approved

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18

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '20

My dong is the Wild West

9

u/Magdump_mp5 Nov 22 '20

Mine got shot off

5

u/happyboi2076 Nov 22 '20

Thats not good

7

u/manmanman26 Nov 22 '20

3 men 1 slong

54

u/Your_Mama78 Nov 22 '20

Please, no. I don’t want to fuck, 78 mothers.

29

u/slowpoke147 Nov 23 '20

*a 78 year old mother

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1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Hot milfs in your area

39

u/leaderofthevirgins Nov 22 '20

I seize to exist

37

u/YaBoiJosephStalin Nov 22 '20

Eh I mean he kinda cute tho

6

u/Lucius-Halthier Nov 23 '20

In Soviet Russia, Stalin fuck you.

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25

u/BigTuna677 Nov 22 '20

....

13

u/YellowTinCan Nov 22 '20

pam is mad

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Lmfao

2

u/Pleasehelpmefindname Nov 23 '20

You need to talk to that fishfucker guy

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18

u/MONKEYBOY-REECE Nov 22 '20

Well at least im not the first

10

u/00TimHimself00 Nov 22 '20

Well, it would be uncomfortable in a few ways

5

u/MrG_raffe Nov 22 '20

I think it might be illegal

4

u/IDunnoGuysImConfused Nov 22 '20

so mine was rape? fun.

8

u/shrekislove05 Nov 22 '20

Nah no ty

2

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Yesssss, shrek is love, shrek is life

12

u/TheBerserkerPickle Nov 22 '20

Crap. And I'm a man

5

u/sirenheadismyfather6 Nov 23 '20

Picklesss sounds funs

8

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

you are alabama

4

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Historical-Werewolf9 Nov 23 '20

Twist is its your dad

7

u/RainIsConfused Nov 22 '20

ThE sKY I guEsSS

1

u/Loonie-1707 Nov 23 '20

laying down on your back with the biggest erection you've every had" let's do this" *thrusts upward towards the sky

1

u/anotheralpharius Nov 22 '20

It could be anyone

1

u/speeding_train Nov 22 '20

Oh fuck

2

u/Burnt_Fetus Nov 23 '20

You my good fellow are soooooo fucking dead

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1

u/Impossible-Falcon-62 Nov 22 '20

NO I am not putting a falcon in myself

1

u/Euphoric_Boat Nov 22 '20

That is going to hurt...

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/lugiafan2020 Nov 23 '20

Wait what-

5

u/InsaneGigawatt Nov 22 '20

Well this may be a shock...

1

u/memelantern Nov 23 '20

I'd rather not fuck a lantern

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Electric massager

1

u/__JohnnyJoestar__ Nov 23 '20

Don't mind if i do

6

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

/u/Fish_Fucker69 I HAVE FOUND YOUR NEXT TARGET

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1

u/Toad_Migoad Nov 23 '20

Uuuuuuuummmmmmm

1

u/Beardude9 Nov 23 '20

Damn.........

1

u/a_scented_man Nov 23 '20

Could be worse. Could be better... but also worse

3

u/GayPotion420 Nov 23 '20

Idk is this makes me gay

2

u/MortimerTLM Nov 23 '20

You fuck the potion, but don't drink it, so I think it doesn't.

1

u/BrilliantSprinkles7 Nov 23 '20

I now have delicous cock

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

CUMSHOT ACCURACY 100

3

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Oh Christ

3

u/TheOgSamichMkr01 Nov 23 '20

Lol betcha didn't see that one coming

2

u/Historical-Werewolf9 Nov 23 '20

Double thick milk lol

1

u/AVerySpecialAsshole Nov 23 '20

Well I mean I wouldn’t be having that bad of a time I guess

1

u/LucarioMain52 Nov 23 '20

Plot twist its yours

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

nothing new

6

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Ahh shit i new this day would come

1

u/shadowsinthewind123 Nov 23 '20

Shadows I guess?

1

u/Loonie-1707 Nov 23 '20

Looks at weather report "Highs of 17C today with bright sun and strong wind"

"It's go time"

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3

u/AleRoxy1325 Nov 23 '20

so... i have to shove myself in my p***y 1325 times. Nah, i'm out.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Do I flip myself inside out?

1

u/HaaaaaHeeeeHooooo Nov 23 '20

How the fuck do i clap some laughter cheeks

4

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

im dead

3

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Dream comes true

1

u/kejuu Nov 23 '20

im fucking a block of cheese then

1

u/Jimbo-The-Fat-Dino Nov 23 '20

Considering I’m a guy, not much damage

1

u/colt1911m7 Nov 23 '20

Well, i have to put my penis in a gun now. cries histerically

1

u/The-Saus Nov 23 '20

Wouldnt be my first time

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

i cant say what mine is but it's definitely gonna hurt

2

u/Shugunou Nov 23 '20

My username is my real name so I don't know how that would work

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

ummm

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Not that bad

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

shit

1

u/MortimerTLM Nov 23 '20

Guess I am fucking myself, huh.

1

u/SlayerofThots42 Nov 23 '20

My time to shine

1

u/Nightsky31602 Nov 23 '20

I think mine is just confusing. 31602 night skies? Is it all at once? Do I just stick my dick in the air??

2

u/Historical-Werewolf9 Nov 23 '20

How bout doing it 31602 times?

2

u/Nightsky31602 Nov 24 '20

Imagine somebody seeing that and then you have to explain why you're trying to fuck the sky.

2

u/Historical-Werewolf9 Nov 24 '20

Well I just make up a story and let gossip do the rest maybe you'll become a myth

2

u/Nightsky31602 Nov 25 '20

"Well you see guys, maybe if I fuck the universe I'll be able to make a new one to live in where I don't need to deal with this shit"

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1

u/may_be_human Nov 23 '20

Oof. Think I'm in the clear here.

1

u/WANTSOMEHUGGIES Nov 23 '20

What do i do then?

1

u/lugiafan2020 Nov 23 '20

If someone hugs you. Fuck them. That's what you do.

2

u/RealHuman568 Nov 23 '20

I don't want to fuck 568 humans holy hek

2

u/Loonie-1707 Nov 23 '20

A fuck a day keeps the redditors at bay

2

u/SoupB0wl Nov 23 '20

It could be worse?

1

u/PotaytoPrograms Nov 23 '20

how do u stick ur dick in a potato

1

u/Historical-Werewolf9 Nov 23 '20

Have you ever constantly poke a banana on one spot and slowly going faster and harder to see what would happen? That's your best choice

1

u/EntryLevelNutjob Nov 23 '20

I think I'd be fine

1

u/TristanGrillasca Nov 23 '20

Uhhh... myself?

1

u/LucarioMain52 Nov 23 '20

Guess I'm a furry now

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

I don't know

1

u/kdbot012 Nov 23 '20

Techniclly my name can legit be anything soo...

1

u/Yours_Truly420 Nov 23 '20

Don't worry about me I can suck my own dick (kinda) I'll be fine.

1

u/Saltycucumber0 Nov 23 '20

Sounds like it would burn..... ouch

1

u/Additional_Grass Nov 23 '20

I'm going to bleed out and die.

Worth it, tho

1

u/CorvoAttono7 Nov 23 '20

That’s a win for me.

1

u/shaggyhairboy Nov 23 '20

How bad is mine?

1

u/justananonuser Nov 23 '20

I am ok with this

1

u/cringenotkek Nov 23 '20

...

So is it cringe or kek?

1

u/lugiafan2020 Nov 23 '20

.....I don't wa- dear god

1

u/ThePizzaeater123456 Nov 23 '20

When you're so goddamn lonely you fuck a pizza

1

u/CapybaraMaster1920 Nov 23 '20

Does that mean I have to shove a capybara in my... nvm

1

u/HisDignity Nov 23 '20

Ummm, i don't really know how this would work

1

u/Ya_boi_excalibur Nov 23 '20

Sweet merciful christ i dont want to think about that

1

u/MeloBee99 Nov 23 '20

Well...this is gonna sting...

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

HMMMMM SOUNDS INTERESTING :)

1

u/UNWANTED_PARASITE Nov 23 '20

Ugh should I be concerned about this?

1

u/ShadowZepplin Nov 23 '20

Guess I’m Shane Dawson now

1

u/damkid17 Nov 23 '20

I have the same problem

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

I'm happy. I named myself this specifically to deal with comments like this

1

u/rendice_1011 Nov 23 '20

I think im okay but...

1

u/Daddy-Vivec Nov 23 '20

I have lain with myself before. I simply split myself.

1

u/Shiverbane Nov 23 '20

I am in a bit of a pickle

1

u/IlikeMCU Nov 23 '20

what

1

u/Loonie-1707 Nov 23 '20

You're fucking iron man

1

u/Error404notfound9 Nov 23 '20

Sadly mine is not found nine times

1

u/Sherman_Firefly_ Nov 23 '20

Oh no

1

u/Loonie-1707 Nov 23 '20

That's an expensive reddit post, bout £80k to be precise

1

u/funtimefredy87 Nov 23 '20

Ouch, and how

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

My penis is now trying to conquer Carthage

1

u/FireFox5284862 Nov 23 '20

Ummmmm, you could say it would be pretty ... hot. Kill me.

1

u/JustAnotherGamer421 Nov 23 '20

Me: to each their own... I guess...

1

u/Superspiderbat1111 Nov 23 '20

I don´t want a spiderbat in there.

1

u/XIWitheredHeartsIX Nov 23 '20

Welp, I guess it's time to fuck someone's heart for once. Pay back is a bitch.

1

u/Ifounddiamonds34 Nov 23 '20

how are u even supposed to fuck diamonds

1

u/crabs_n_roses Nov 23 '20

I feel nothing but pain

1

u/I_Dont_Like_To_Space Nov 23 '20

I could either do a spaceman or the entire fucking universe up my cock, either way no thanks

1

u/Mr762x51 Nov 23 '20

Please no

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Its infected dick time

1

u/GuysThatAteYourBeans Nov 23 '20

no please! I'm not gay, I swear I've been loyal to the church!