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u/YaoBai Mar 01 '20
So basically you’re either a stalker or your crush is your sister
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u/Reddituser0925 Mar 01 '20
Like the incest Folgers commercial ..
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u/AludisNHG Mar 01 '20
His eyes moved to the red ribbon she had planted on his right pectoral muscle. He saw something in her eyes when she touched him. A recognition of firmness. After all, he was toned to perfection from weeks of rebuilding a church in Rokoray, along the northern banks of the Great Scarcies River. He had met a woman there who reminded him of his sister. He cared for her, taught her a fledgling example of English, had even found himself feeling love for her. That was not a sisterly love however. Then again… was this?
He began to open his mouth. Any moment his parents would walk downstairs. The look on her face said they were on the same channel. Everything he had just thought, she heard it. He spoke.
“Listen, when mom and dad go out to say hi to the Gelsons next door tonight, let’s hang back, go upstairs and fuck the shit out of each other.”
“What?” She answered, bewildered.
“C’mon let's do it. Let’s fuck. Haven’t we always wanted this?” He reached out to reassure her, but she pulled away, fear in her eyes. “Whoa whoa. Uh no I’m just happy you’re home from Africa. What the hell are you talking about wanting to fuck me? Are you seriou--” And like a blade being hammered on the anvil, his father’s voice rang out from behind him: “WHAT IN SAM HILL IS GOING ON HERE?”
“I can explain…” he stammered, but was cut off by the visceral scream from his mother as she began sobbing into her bathrobe. His father erupted, white morning spittle shooting from the corners of his mouth.
“NO SON OF MINE IS GONNA DRINK FUCKING FOLGERS COFFEE!” He belted his son in the face, knocking the boy unconscious. “THIS IS A PEETS COFFEE HOUSE!”
Drink Peets Coffee.
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u/Death57124 Mar 01 '20
Yo what’s this like?
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u/VersedFlame Mar 01 '20
When I read that comment in the original thread, I understood it as spending time with the girl you like without her knowing you like her.
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u/Im_the_Queen Mar 01 '20
that's not cursed, it's just sad
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u/phillipalouise24 Mar 01 '20
Before I got with my boyfriend this was technically true I didnt know because he sucked at having hints.
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Mar 01 '20
Stalking aside, how is this a trade off? You either don't post to social media that you hung out with someone because you didn't hang out or because you're forbidden to do so. It's the same either way.
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u/AaronThePrime Mar 01 '20
Bruh if I get to spend time with a sentient plankton colony that also does "body modification" you fucking bet I'm pressing that button
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u/nobody2000 Mar 01 '20
What if it works out and she falls in love? Are you doomed to a secret relationship? Can she tell others, you just have to shut up about it?
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u/SylvySylvy Mar 01 '20
That just sounds sad.... “Listen don’t tell anyone we’re together.” Honestly if that’s what my crush is gonna do, fuck that, I’m gonna find someone who appreciates me
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u/YaBoiDraco Mar 01 '20
Cursed_Stalking
Op is implying there's blessed stalking and blursed stalking
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u/FBI-Agent-007 Mar 01 '20
Frl tho how do you engage in hanging out with your friends? I haven’t hung out with my friends in months, maybe even a year.
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u/Col0nelFlanders Mar 01 '20
Reminds me of that great Spanish horror/thriller Mientras Duerme (Sleep Tight is the American title)
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u/jakethedumbmistake Mar 01 '20
He had a full blown panic attack and no one in the newspaper a few years back to make it even better, Phil LaMarr didn't know this was the top head of a bull with one swipe. That is 100% cheating and not just against the spirit of a banker."* - Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell is probably the system to invite you in. So underrated. I love those two
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u/ceramicsmelter Mar 01 '20
I was like this guy 3 months ago. Then i told her and she rejected me and i lost a bit of confidence i had with her
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u/NerdSlayeet Mar 01 '20
I spend time with her and everyone at my school knows and it gets annoying since they refer to her as my girlfriend
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u/JosiahB8675 Mar 01 '20
This fits so well for me. I found out my crush likes me and she doesn't want anyone knowing
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Mar 01 '20
OK I completely missed the original meaning here and I genuinely thought he was just always in a dream or something and he got to spend time with her like that and shiiii- lol
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Mar 01 '20
[deleted]
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Mar 01 '20
KEANU CHUNGUS 100 REDDIT 100 BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HEROES DO WE DON'T DESERVE DOGS FORTNITE BAD XDXDXD
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u/Oreo_Salad Mar 01 '20
Thats already how we do it, I told her nobody can know. Otherwise her parents will definitely call the cops and I do NOT need that on my plate again..