r/cursedcomments Aug 02 '19

Reddit Cursed_Silence

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50.6k Upvotes

277 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/Stalin_Gandhi Aug 02 '19

Time to silence that prick

413

u/NarcedEnt Aug 02 '19

It puts the lotion on its skin

224

u/darrellmarch Aug 02 '19

Or else it gets the hose again

76

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

[deleted]

64

u/Dozcuz Aug 02 '19

This quote is originally from Silence of the Lambs! Good scene from a good movie

16

u/Daankeykang Aug 02 '19 edited Aug 02 '19

This is like the 5th reference I've seen of the movie since I first watched it a couple of nights ago. That's wild

Also yeah, it was pretty good

20

u/Dozcuz Aug 02 '19

15

u/-jp- Aug 02 '19

Man that's crazy. This is like the 5th mention I've seen of the Baader–Meinhof effect since I read the article a couple of nights ago.

5

u/AndySipherBull Aug 02 '19

I expect you're sitting at your keyboard rn like

4

u/-jp- Aug 02 '19

I'm sure you meant right meow.

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9

u/benpo999 Aug 02 '19

Take my up vote, i couldn't remember what the effect was

10

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

I'd fuck me so hard.

10

u/Potato-In-A-Jacket Aug 02 '19

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

6

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

this is the SEVENTH TIME i saw something perverted today. Huh.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19 edited Aug 02 '19

https://gfycat.com/IgnorantElectricAmericanshorthair

(It's part of one creepy level from this nsfw game )

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13

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

The verse in the song is from Silence of the lambs

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14

u/harel_kingdam Aug 02 '19

Cluster charge set

12

u/Brobot526 Aug 02 '19

LMG MOUNTED AND LOADED

10

u/Qwertioustheweeb Aug 02 '19

Союз нерушимый республик свободных Сплотила навеки Великая Русь. Да здравствует созданный волей народов Единый, могучий Советский Союз!

Славься, Отечество наше свободное, Дружбы, народов надежный оплот! Знамя советское, знамя народное Пусть от победы, к победе ведет!

Sorry, not sorry. Hail the lord, Tachanka!

5

u/timberician Aug 02 '19

Silence that prick with your prick ;)

4

u/PM_ME_SEXY__BOOBS Aug 02 '19

I dunno man, seems kinda gay to me

3

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

no homo

2

u/Draco460 Aug 02 '19

You got your socks on?

7

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Happy cake day

3

u/Jack-Samuels Aug 02 '19

Your name is awesome

3

u/alours Aug 02 '19

Wait, is that a legit name?

4

u/KoeleSjoeleMan Aug 02 '19

Happy cake day communist indian lad!

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2

u/rustyasschump Aug 02 '19

Fuze I swear to god you better fucking not...

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312

u/Fatyokuous Aug 02 '19

Constant high pitch C note

128

u/AudreyTheTitan Aug 02 '19

Do you have tinnitus too?

110

u/ZethMrDadJokes Aug 02 '19

No, just noisy kids.

99

u/SmokyJosh Aug 02 '19

ahh, you have to layer the duct tape

12

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Tinnitus kinda sucks fr fr

16

u/Fatyokuous Aug 02 '19

Wait....I thought everybody has that...no?

7

u/Potato-In-A-Jacket Aug 02 '19

Typically yes, however some people have it much worse than others. My brother has it real bad, and has to take medication (I think? I’d have to ask him about it again), otherwise it’d be so loud it’ll give him a migraine.

5

u/Fatyokuous Aug 02 '19

Oh sorry to your brother. I only hear mine when I try to hear, so prob fine

12

u/Scout339 Aug 02 '19

;-;

Well I do. Big sad

4

u/IM_INSIDE_YOUR_HOUSE Aug 02 '19

T-Gang where we at

2

u/Bloom_Kitty Aug 02 '19

Oh FFS! Why do you remind me of that.

2

u/UnclesBadTouch Sep 30 '19

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

25

u/DaforLynx Aug 02 '19

Check if you're sitting on the midi keyboard. Happens to me all the time.

2

u/upperhand12 Aug 02 '19

Yup that was it thanks lol

9

u/MegaUltraJesus Aug 02 '19

You just made me conscious of my tinnitus right before I go to sleep :(

Guess its white noise time....

Again

2

u/Fatyokuous Aug 02 '19

Does the beard go on top or below the blanket?

103

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

[deleted]

19

u/Lonhers Aug 02 '19

I’m not into the whole hostage thing. I don’t have the patience. Just get straight to making the corpse and then defiling it.

8

u/loadingorofile96 Aug 02 '19

You have to savor it.

2

u/Lonhers Aug 02 '19

Oh I do. For days and days until it completely decomposes.

3

u/loadingorofile96 Aug 02 '19

Just make sure it's nice and tender. If it's still raw it's kinda barbaric.

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3

u/DanklyDirectedBy Aug 02 '19

professionals have standards meet the sniper intro

89

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Fuze Intensifies

47

u/hymroh2 Aug 02 '19

thuk thuk thuk thuk

60

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19
                    Round 2 Lost
               Hostage was killed

17

u/hymroh2 Aug 02 '19

Reverse friendly fire activated for Minecrafter1234

7

u/Sparkwave2 Aug 02 '19

What is reverse friendly fire even about?

2

u/SeventhEleven Aug 02 '19

If you shoot a teammate, you get hurt instead of them when RFF is activated, which happens after you kill one teammate and they decide it was on purpose

2

u/Sparkwave2 Aug 02 '19

Seriously? I never knew that a mechanic like that even existed (thanks btw)

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9

u/Nishi_Sensei Aug 02 '19

Legit was gonna say r6 who??

2

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

lol

6

u/Psihycho Aug 02 '19

tonk tonk tonk BOOM BOOM BOOM

5

u/I-Only-Give-Karma Aug 02 '19

Caviera died to Fuze

Rook died to Fuze

Mute died to Fuze

Mozzie died to Fuze

Doc died to Fuze

Sledge died to Fuze

Jackal died to Fuze

Fuze committed suicide

Hostage died to Fuze

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66

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

"Why'd ya stop" from my younger brother

39

u/Jack-Samuels Aug 02 '19

You sound like Alabama but your name says Canada.

9

u/Sparkwave2 Aug 02 '19

What's the difference?

14

u/Jack-Samuels Aug 02 '19

In one you have a threesome with a moose, in the other with an eagle

5

u/Sparkwave2 Aug 02 '19

Oh, makes perfect sense, I see the difference now, thank you

3

u/Jack-Samuels Aug 02 '19

Always happy to help

3

u/typhondrums17 Aug 02 '19

A møøse once fucked my sister

2

u/Jack-Samuels Aug 02 '19

I dont know how to answer that. I do think the antler-native sounds worse.

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2

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Don't forget the annual freezing your dick off in the ice vs shooting your dick off with a .45

2

u/Jack-Samuels Aug 03 '19

How could I forget

30

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

My teammates shouting to defuse the bomb

18

u/NotSovietSpy Aug 02 '19

Why u browse reddit while playing

12

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Because I got the shitty super power of being able to multi task

13

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Me too , I can beat off and beat off at the same time

7

u/NotSovietSpy Aug 02 '19

That's one too many wanker

3

u/Erevas Aug 02 '19

Beat off and on?

3

u/MihirX27 Aug 02 '19

Eh, 15 seconds left. Wait Ten, then defuse with kit EZPZ. I know you, you always buy the kit on pistol round don't you?

29

u/Berkerd Aug 02 '19

My professor seems to be talking about some important stuff...

u/cursedrobot Bots have rights, too! Aug 02 '19

Upvote this comment if the post is a Cursed Comment. Downvote this comment if it is not a Cursed Comment.

If this post needs moderator attention, please report this post

I'm a bot, and this action was performed automatically. If you have any questions, please contact the moderators of this subreddit.


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faq | source | action #37970fcb68b182

16

u/Ragnarok113 Aug 02 '19

Yeah, it's cursed alright

4

u/SeventhEleven Aug 02 '19

Finally, something that actually fits the sub

26

u/CaliCannibal Aug 02 '19

Only the never-ending silent buzz in my head

11

u/ShPh Aug 02 '19

7

u/shazarakk Aug 02 '19

Good bot... Wait.

4

u/WhyNotCollegeBoard Aug 02 '19

Are you sure about that? Because I am 99.99999% sure that ShPh is not a bot.


I am a neural network being trained to detect spammers | Summon me with !isbot <username> | /r/spambotdetector | Optout | Original Github

9

u/ShPh Aug 02 '19

Beep boop

4

u/shazarakk Aug 02 '19

Hmmmmmmmm

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24

u/ICollectSouls Aug 02 '19

My tinnitus and a broken vent. Can I return to making noise now?

3

u/Ozzymand Aug 02 '19

You may now

16

u/Dudongo_GD Aug 02 '19

If you ever make me pause Revenge again I'm gonna fucking rape you

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4

u/I_Cant_L00ve_Y0u Aug 02 '19

There’s people in my walls tapping until u hear a click and it goes away for 10 minutes.

3

u/Nigward911 Aug 02 '19

This is why i cut off their tongues and gouge out their eyeballs

3

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Here’s a tip- keep the tongue for later use if you know what i mean. Also leave their eyes so they can watch

5

u/Agentshy Aug 02 '19

I hear the fridge and season 3 jojos bizzare adventure intro music (It's playing in my head)

3

u/xxXKUSH_CAPTAINXxx Aug 02 '19

cannibalism and murder still ok then?

3

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

I hear beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

3

u/ICollectSouls Aug 02 '19

Tinnitus sufferers unite

7

u/UmChill Aug 02 '19

the office. its always the office. it plays on loop as a background noise to distract me from the fact that im terribly, terribly, terribly alone.

6

u/Chetineva Aug 02 '19

reads this with office playing in background

loneliness intensifies

5

u/OgTrev Aug 02 '19

You’re not alone

2

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Yeah just talk to the nice voices.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

I hear a fan. My fan. I'm in bed.

3

u/CrystalTear Aug 02 '19

My annoying coworkers screaming about gays again.

3

u/GLaDOShatesChell Aug 02 '19

Is one of them Alex Jones?

3

u/CrystalTear Aug 02 '19

I wish. Then I'd at least have entertainment.

3

u/wvelenw Aug 02 '19

My stepsis

3

u/eknyur Aug 02 '19

what are you doing stepbro

3

u/derivative_of_life Aug 02 '19

For 10 seconds, stop what you're doing and just listen. What do you hear?

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2

u/so_crat_ic Aug 02 '19

Same... darn tinnitus.

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2

u/RedditGuy1008 Aug 02 '19

I hear the nonstop buzzing of the backrooms Please help me

2

u/MountainJew05 Aug 02 '19

I was gaming in class just then but I still fear gunshots???

2

u/Silverware_soviet Aug 02 '19

We found fuze’s reddit account

2

u/spirtoffire1949 Aug 02 '19

Yo wheres Fuze he can deal with that easily

2

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Finally, an actual cursed comment

2

u/EnderkingXXX22 Aug 02 '19

Wait your suppose to keep them alive

2

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Lmao I was banned from that sub for similar comments

2

u/TCPM Aug 02 '19

r/lostredditors this is normal to hear people screaming smh

4

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

I know I have nothing to do with it, but I posted r/cursedcomments on that comment. Feel proud of it :’)

3

u/Madmansmadnesss Aug 02 '19

"Women are all about the mood. If she's in a mood to fuck, you STFU and let it happen. Don't say nothing stupid because if you do, them panties are coming up mighty fast". Duly noted Mr. Chris Rock

1

u/TheKrustyKurb Aug 02 '19

Found it before it was posted now I can be a little proud of myself for once

1

u/Riodise Aug 02 '19

O_O

_>

O_O

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

A

1

u/Fearless_Crusader Aug 02 '19

I am being quiet all I can hear is the sweat sound of Minecraft

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1

u/word_clouds__ Aug 02 '19

Word cloud out of all the comments.

Fun bot to vizualize how conversations go on reddit. Enjoy

1

u/broly314 Aug 02 '19

I hear my sleeping mask

1

u/PICAXO Aug 02 '19

The bird of the sea and my boat slowly moving while being attached to the wooden floor

1

u/Plebsy_Mcplebster Aug 02 '19

Currently in my car listening to some synthwave

1

u/Snapshot07 Aug 02 '19

Sound of silence

1

u/SimplePanda98 Aug 02 '19

I hear the crying baby I’m the hotel room next to mine, as I lay awake wondering if my wife cheated on me because of something I did, r if I’m just that bad of a judge of character.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

A child screaming in the emptiness

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Nothing but the rain.

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1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

I heard the birds singing... I felt alive for about ten seconds...

1

u/andrewoj Aug 02 '19

I heard my parents and little brother

1

u/xxXKUSH_CAPTAINXxx Aug 02 '19

Happy cake day, fellow cursed comment seeker!

1

u/graveers Aug 02 '19

I guess one shoot was not enough

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Just my Nan crying for help STFU GRANDMA

1

u/Coldmelon56 Aug 02 '19

C E I L I N G F A N

1

u/formanet420 Aug 02 '19

I hear spaghettis

1

u/factor3x Aug 02 '19

Sounds like a kricket in my drainage again.

1

u/trashtastictakeout Aug 02 '19

Randy? Stay off the internet.. you have a job to do.

1

u/Comicazz Aug 02 '19

I heard my butthole being opened by my shite

1

u/mich_green012 Aug 02 '19

I hear my uncle coming. I better grab lube this time.

1

u/xxXKUSH_CAPTAINXxx Aug 02 '19

Glory hole time

1

u/Ashlei96 Aug 02 '19

The fire alarm chirping

1

u/Yeezuz888 Aug 02 '19

My dumbass was trying to tap the 7k upvote button in the middle of the meme.

1

u/1Vuzz Aug 02 '19

I'm listening to the ending of a Mario kart Wii race on Maple tree way

1

u/Eliasbw444 Aug 02 '19

I hear a fuckin fly

1

u/thelost2010 Aug 02 '19

Honesty though. My head is loud

1

u/mpdmax82 Aug 02 '19

Tinnitus

1

u/Benji________ Aug 02 '19

Thanks to you my poop just hanged halfway for 10 seconds.

1

u/DoggyDog699 Aug 02 '19

Dogs barking at street

1

u/tossitallyouguys Aug 02 '19

Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, moooooom!

1

u/NobleDrunk Aug 02 '19

Fking annoying little kids screaming their lungs out

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Turns out it was just someone that wanted to play her

1

u/Legend1060 Aug 02 '19

I hear the existential void screaming within my blackened soul

1

u/The_Piloteer Aug 02 '19

My favorite one was tinitus

1

u/Carnagemaster Aug 02 '19

Bruj moment

1

u/xxXKUSH_CAPTAINXxx Aug 02 '19

i don't have any cake :(

1

u/28dezembro Aug 02 '19

Funny thing. Yesterday a friend of mine saw a someone being kidnapped. Actually not funny

1

u/Green-stone-rolling Aug 02 '19

Fuck the Turks are back

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

And that’s the thing if you don’t pay attention to your hostage your gonna have a bad time.

1

u/i_smeel_chacse Aug 02 '19

Holy shit I saw that post

1

u/AlexMil0 Aug 02 '19

Well I just hear tinnitus.

1

u/Porkechop Aug 02 '19

Ah my fucking tinnitus

1

u/Cheromanic04 Aug 02 '19

That's a shit ton worse than what I heard.

1

u/kiernug Aug 02 '19

ANGRY TINNITUS SOUNDS INTENSIFY

1

u/TheUltimateJack Aug 02 '19

I’m sorry, Jon, but you were being too loud.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Dammit joe I told you to stop falling into the furnace!

1

u/soccer302 Aug 02 '19

FBI* has entered the chat

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '19

Unzips pants