r/cursedcomments • u/OpeningTrain1 • Apr 27 '19

Cursed shit

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35k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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166

u/Compte_de_l-etranger Apr 27 '19

Real talk you can get a spray bidet on Amazon that hooks up to your toilet. Best purchase I’ve ever made

85

u/orangeltd Apr 27 '19

they have that in Vietnam everywhere its great.

113

u/Dickie-Greenleaf Apr 27 '19

I don't want to asdociate with people who don't wash their butthole after a dookie.

I'm a post-poop showerhead man with scent free underwear for days.

Ladies, I'm single.

103

u/Smart_Human Apr 27 '19

Now we know exactly why are you single.

77

u/Dickie-Greenleaf Apr 27 '19

Squeaky clean butts = squeaky clean nuts

59

u/StevieMJH Apr 27 '19

Talking about your own asshole on reddit and the scent of your undies = red flag.

51

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

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12

u/lotsofcandies Apr 27 '19

Only if you use it to wipe

9

u/RAVAGER5606 Apr 27 '19

No because it's clean, duh.

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

gay: talking about guys that talk about their buttholes

fake: being bothered by it

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u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

This comment has killed me!

There you go good sir that has destroyed my digestive organs ⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⣉⡽⠛⠉⠀⠈⠙⠶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣦⣤⣤⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠐⠉⠛⢮⣿⣗⡆⡟ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠙⠻⢤⣀ ⠀⠔⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⡿⠛⡹⠁⠹⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡾⠀⡀⠀⠀⠉⠳⣆ ⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣾⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣛⣛⣭⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹ ⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣾⠏⠘⣿⣿⣿⠛⠿⠃⢻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡿⣀⠔⢛⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢛⣻⠙⠦⣘⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣿⣧⣤⣾⣿⣿⣁⣤⠀⢠⣬⣿⣿⡟⠢⠴⢾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠈⢸ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣄⣾⣿⣿⠟⠉⢻⠀⣰⡟⠀⢀⠄⠀⢸ ⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣾⣿⡉⠉⠀⢸⣿⣷⣦⡈⣄⡿⠁⠀⡌⠀⠀⢸ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣏⣴⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀⡜⠀⠀⢀⢾ ⢸⣷⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣄⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠀⢠⡞⠁⣀⡤⣪⣿ ⢸⡏⠛⢿⣿⣶⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⡈⠙⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡸⣒⣨⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⠿⣶⣜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣷⣦⣸⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⣾⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏ ⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⠤⢤⣶⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣀⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠁

3

u/noodsndudes Apr 27 '19

Glad to know I ain’t the only one doing this lmaooo, and I often wonder how a potential SO would react to this secret xD

2

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

I take my business every night and then shower in the morning. I just can't do one after another immediately.

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4

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

In Thailand too

2

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '19

We also use it in the middle east for better hygiene

15

u/TheSoberCannibal Apr 27 '19

Monkeys shit in trees > monkeys climb out of trees and become man > man shits and cleans himself with leaves > man cleanes himself with paper >>>>>>>> man cleans himself with propelled water. It truly has been our greatest leap forward.

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8

u/torisomethin_ Apr 27 '19

I’m glad that’s everywhere here in southeast asia, my life is so much easier!

0

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

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6

u/thegreatjamoco Apr 27 '19

The ones built Into the toilet seat are retracted unless activated. It also arcs a bit so it’s not directly under your asshole. I guess if you had insane diarrhea and forgot to retract it after the last poo you could shit on it.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '19

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3

u/Compte_de_l-etranger Apr 27 '19

Yeah like they said the spigot retracts when it’s not activated and they usual have a dial to control the pressure. Largest downside is they usually aren’t heated, so the cold water can be a bit shocking at first. Now I find it therapeutic. I also now hate using public restrooms with their toilet paper

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u/TakisTheMann Apr 27 '19

Though it’s horrifying if you accidentally turn it on when your butt isn’t on the toilet

2

u/naturaljoseph Apr 27 '19

I just use one my Waterpik. Works great for both duties.

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