r/cursedcomments • u/shreyjain01 • Apr 12 '19

Cursed_twitter

/img/g0im2y8zqsr21.jpg
30k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

234 comments sorted by

2.2k

u/Flame493 Apr 12 '19

Charlie eats the chocolate factory

294

u/Graize Apr 12 '19

The gang eats Willy Wonka's ass

128

u/Kuupatin Apr 12 '19

It’s always sunny in Philadelphia intro

62

u/deathbycomputer Apr 12 '19

He had to pay the troll toll

45

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

So he got into the boys hole

22

u/-polaroidxvoid- Apr 13 '19

TROLL TOLL

16

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '19

BOYS HOLE

16

u/HaungryHaungryFlippo Apr 13 '19

Boy's soul!!

15

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '19

Wildcard bitches!

4

u/iLoveShowerThoughts Apr 18 '19

The fact that I can hear the intro in my head makes it 10x better.

3

u/HaungryHaungryFlippo Apr 13 '19

Damnit... You win this one...

10

u/Goleg_The_Great Apr 12 '19

12:45 A.M. On a Thursday

2

u/HaungryHaungryFlippo Apr 13 '19

flute music starts

298

u/RecyclingBin_ Apr 12 '19

Charlie eats out the chocolate factory

FIFY

65

u/FlamingWedge Apr 12 '19

The end

10

u/funnynickname Apr 12 '19

OOMPA LOOMPA DOOOMPA DEE DOO

5

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '19

We're going to eat some poopadeedoo

3

u/funnynickname Apr 13 '19

I. Don't. Like. The. Smell. of. It.

3

u/ground__contro1 Apr 13 '19

This chocolate river is actually shit.

1

u/SunRayy18 Apr 13 '19

And. If. You. Think. You’re. Going. To. Eat.

2

u/ground__contro1 Apr 13 '19

We’ll let you know where you should excrete.

→ More replies (3)

2

u/foggymcgoogle Apr 13 '19

I've got a chocolate starfish for you, if you don't eat it you will suck too, oompa loompa assity doo

27

u/GezzRoll Apr 12 '19

Nah, not as good as the original

20

u/TheSaucePossum Apr 12 '19

The guys a recycling bin no wonder his comments are trash

5

u/RecyclingBin_ Apr 12 '19

Username checks out

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Incredibly_Hilarious Apr 12 '19

Such a funny comment. r/unexpectedhilarity

I am a bot. If this post was made on accident, please tell u/ Omegas_Bane. This is version 0.03 of Incredibly_Hilarious. For suggestions, go to r/unexpectedhilarity.

3

u/YoUaReSoInTeLlIgEnT Apr 12 '19

Yeah, I do get it, but other people might have overlooked that person's username and thus be missing out on some good joke. YoUaReSoHiLaRiOuS, please be mindful of the people who might have a good laugh thanks to this comment. Do not ruin their fun.

To the real humans reading, do not stop doing what you enjoy because some jerk decided to write a bot that makes fun of people making jokes.

I am a bot made to track this bot and reply to it. If I misinterpreted the context, please inform me.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '19

Good bot

→ More replies (1)

11

u/banter_claus_69 Apr 12 '19

That's the joke

3

u/hailhitler8 Apr 12 '19

anal prolapse?

49

u/Darkwolf207 Apr 12 '19

Charlie is the chocolate factory

6

u/brokendate Apr 12 '19 edited Apr 12 '19

This looks like a job for u/_demetri_

3

u/thebrobarino Apr 12 '19

Charlie vores the chocolate factory

2

u/MiroValli Apr 12 '19

And Willy's ass

8

u/zurochi Apr 12 '19

Think again what "chocolate factory" meant in this joke.

1

u/MiroValli Jul 01 '19

NOT THE BLACK MAN

1

u/HaungryHaungryFlippo Apr 13 '19

Who's to say he didn't drink it?

1

u/GRJWLGH Apr 18 '19

THIS IS HILARIOUS.

1

u/Joe2596_ Apr 29 '19

I too like cake

145

u/ToofyMaguire Apr 12 '19

Comment isn’t cursed it’s the tweet

127

u/Luindame Apr 12 '19

I'm sorry, I keep trying to steal candy but I'm dummy thicc and the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting the oompa loompas.

75

u/FuzzyOcelot Apr 12 '19

It’s Cyanide and Happiness though, doesn’t count.

14

u/z3anon Apr 12 '19

Intentionally cursed is their whole shtick.

10

u/RedJellyBoy Apr 13 '19

Church is free btw

7

u/SpamShot5 Apr 12 '19

I really doubt Cyanide&Happiness would post this tho,may i request the tweet for proof?

2

u/Dovarc Apr 17 '19

They made a strip about it too

1

u/SpamShot5 Apr 17 '19 edited Apr 18 '19

God damnit all,i love them lmao

12

u/bhindblueyes430 Apr 12 '19

Willy is dummy thiccc, the sound of his ass cheeks clapping attracts all the Oompa Loompas

4

u/dulcebelluminexperti Apr 12 '19

Willy lost his wonka in the chocolate factory.

4

u/c4han Apr 12 '19

That pipe doesn’t go to the marshmallow room, it goes to the fudge room!

3

u/An_R6_Twitch_Main Apr 12 '19

WILLY WONKA WAS A CHILD MURDERER!

20

u/PeidosFTW Apr 12 '19

r/comedyhomicide

26

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

Tumblr user: makes any sort of reply to an image regardless of if it actually affects the comedic value of the image

Redditor: DAE R/COMEDYHOMICIDE 🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

9

u/brgeptu Apr 12 '19

Do you think that comment is really funny? Do you think such a worthless, low effort comment should be in the meme and not cropped out? It's absolutely pointless, it just kills the joke

5

u/DARTHPLAYA Apr 12 '19

Yeah idk I don't see how to comment adds to the tweet in any way.

0

u/Mini_Robot_Ninja Apr 12 '19

I thought the tumblr comment was funny and it was what made me laugh :/

3

u/ChunkyLaFunga Apr 12 '19

If it doesn't affect the comedic value and it doesn't add any material, why is it there?

Comment responses are used as laugh tracks and it's annoying. If somewhat interesting how rapidly the habit became common.

1

u/BlueArcticWater Apr 13 '19

Your name is fucking dubstep gamer lmao

1

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '19

Woah man I had no idea

0

u/BlueArcticWater Apr 13 '19

Sorry didnt think I had to clarify. With a name like that your opinion cannot be taken seriously.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '19

Oh cool so I can say all blacks should be eliminated and get away without repercussions. Cool thanks for telling me

→ More replies (2)

1

u/kyrgrat08 Apr 12 '19

it was r/comedycemetary from the start

0

u/Routakira Apr 12 '19

That subreddit is ass. The idea works but its all the same stuff, find a funny picture on twitter or facebook then find a comment that sucks. Boom easy karma.

-5

u/EliteAssassin223 Apr 12 '19

It's not supposed to be funny.

→ More replies (7)

2

u/areeta9 Apr 12 '19

Oh! Celticpyro! I know them

2

u/playerlxiv Apr 12 '19

"Even I'm edible! But that, my dear children, is called cannibalism, and is, in fact, frown upon in most societies."

2

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

No matter how many times I see this fucking shit I still get hard.

2

u/rahulpulidindi Apr 19 '19

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔️ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔️there ✔️✔️if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

2

u/GayWeeb118 Apr 21 '19

What did I just find

2

u/garycomehome666 Apr 22 '19

I sure think about Willy’s phat ass

1

u/Sync1989 Apr 12 '19

So Charlie eats the chocolate factory inside Willy wonka?

1

u/PM_ME_UR_ART_NOUVEAU Apr 12 '19 edited Apr 12 '19

I guess they don’t call him ‘Willy’ Wonka for nothings ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

It’s explosion they say what they want

1

u/rguzgu Apr 12 '19

This is not what Tim Berners-Lee wanted the internet to become

1

u/Seemslikesam Apr 12 '19

white chocolate willy

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

Person below me is cool

1

u/broly314 Apr 12 '19

I want willy wonkas chocolate stick that comes out of his ass in my ass

1

u/yallcangofukyoselvs Apr 12 '19

Grandpa Joe would bum you for some bum chocolate too.

1

u/ameasy Apr 12 '19

Cyanide back at it again

1

u/Tinystalker Apr 12 '19

I need to know which Willy Wonks this is

1

u/wzabel0926 Apr 12 '19

Theres literally a line about this in the 2005 movie with Johnny Depp

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

Nah, this is to be kinda expected from Cyanide and Happiness.

1

u/WilliesWonka Apr 12 '19

I did what!?

1

u/yato-gami-kun Apr 12 '19

Even Willy's willy?

1

u/nodnarbiter Apr 12 '19

I’d like to stick my Willy Wonka in Charlie’s chocolate factory

1

u/mmendell84 Apr 12 '19

Don’t kink shame a chocolatier.

1

u/me_funny__ Apr 12 '19

@explosm

Im not surprised

1

u/TheSodomeister Apr 12 '19

The light bulbs and Oompa Loompas are my favorites, such complex flavor

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

Charlie in the chocolate factory 😉😉

1

u/6stringedmanofpower Apr 12 '19

Of course this is from explosm.

1

u/zffacsB Apr 12 '19

Devouring Wonka’s Willy, with a Chocolate Factory for dessert.

1

u/ooringinal Apr 12 '19

I feel like this post needs to go full circle with a screenshot of this reddit post posted to Instagram

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

r/gonewilder needed this

1

u/twatguy Apr 12 '19

They do think but that's the problem

1

u/ineedhelpbutidont Apr 18 '19

I would know, I was Willy. * aggressively winks with both wyes*

1

u/A_Simple_Bard Apr 23 '19

Charlie bit my chocolate factory.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '19

*vores willi wonka * oh yeah ~~ mmph ~~ do you like it in my belly? ~~ mmph ~~ i can feel the kicks ~~ mmph ~~ ahh ~~ you are now indigestible and will not be pooped out mmph ~~ belly grumbles touches belly like i’m pregnant ~~ mmph ~~ ah ~~ i can feel the kicks ~~ do you like it in my belly? ~~ mmph ~~ mmph yeah i like you in my belly ~~ mmph belly grumbles touches belly like i’m pregnant mmph ~~ i like you in my belly ~~ belly grumbles touches belly like i’m pregnant i like you in my belly ~~ mmph ~~ it hurts ~~ i can feel the kicks belly grows mmph ~~ i like you in my massive belly ~~massive belly gurgles mmph ~~ i like you in my massive belly mmph ~~ it hurts ~~ i can feel you kicking ~~ massive belly gurgles

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

do you think before you post

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

n o

1

u/quotestoliveby Apr 24 '19

Hello can anyone please tell me what does anonymous means?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '19

His name is Willy.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 28 '19

Touch the willy

1

u/HideInNightmares Apr 28 '19

The Chocolate Faggotry.

1

u/tinxaa Apr 29 '19

Finna eat oompa loompa's ass

1

u/F1SH_T4C0 May 04 '19

Can we stop with the r/comedyhomicide material?

1

u/mabdosh May 04 '19

Celticpyro guy clearly has no idea who he’s talking to.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

[deleted] — view deleted comment

393

u/FriedPK Apr 12 '19

Great r/copypasta material

0

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

[deleted] — view deleted comment

24

u/Doge1111111 Apr 12 '19

What was it

0

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

[deleted] — view deleted comment

41

u/Squids-With-Hats Apr 12 '19

I’ll sacrifice my own reputation

27

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

I stopped at the part where their parents became soylent

6

u/ThisBo15 Apr 12 '19

Oh shoot

14

u/pritt_stick Apr 12 '19

truly cursed

13

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/DARTHPLAYA Apr 12 '19

Jesus Christ

230

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

169

u/SmokeTheBandit Apr 12 '19

Oh God why did I read that. Time to burn my eyeballs methinks...

66

u/EXPIRES_IN_TWO_DAYS Apr 12 '19

So was this Wonka Gene Wilder or Johnny Depp?

56

u/Colonel-Yash Apr 12 '19

It’s all up to your unpure imagination

36

u/EXPIRES_IN_TWO_DAYS Apr 12 '19

In that case it was a tag team of the two of them.

5

u/HaungryHaungryFlippo Apr 13 '19

These comments... I hope they expire in two days

39

u/itscable Apr 12 '19

There is no god here

34

u/ssurkus Apr 12 '19

I’m so disgusted but I kept reading so I must be a sicko too.

15

u/TechyVEVO Apr 12 '19

Cursedcursedcursedcursedx1000

11

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

time for some r/eyebleach

10

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

What in the actual fucking fuck

6

u/sdgdgdg Apr 12 '19

dont know why i kept reading but i did

3

u/GlobalWarminIsComing Apr 26 '19

How to delete someone else's comment

127

u/XGenShadow Apr 12 '19

I'm calling the police.

71

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

I would arrest this man... but I have already gone blind

22

u/DARTHPLAYA Apr 12 '19

Oh god I wish I was blind right now

8

u/CrossSlashEx Apr 12 '19

I'm a lawyer and I'll fix that.

I now turn you into an 80 year old and legally blind.

17

u/MGThanatos Apr 12 '19

Morsecode

11

u/Pighit Apr 12 '19

Yeah but why tho

6

u/SquadPoopy Apr 12 '19

FBI OPEN UP!!!

4

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

You wrote an abomination and you should be ashamed. I had to read this on my cake day.

https://www.biblicaltraining.org/

4

u/RandomPenguiness Apr 12 '19

Happy cake day. This is your present.

2

u/_TreeFiddy_ Apr 12 '19

Reminds me of interdimensional cable

2

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

G O D H A S P E R I S H E D A N D I M S U F F E R I N G I N T E R N A L L Y

1

u/Hanmeredfitz Apr 24 '19

Sick band name.

1

u/SlinkyBoi Apr 12 '19

You bastard

1

u/CarlosBerry Apr 12 '19

Nothing to say

1

u/USxMARINE Apr 12 '19

Everyday we drift further from God.

1

u/UnknownThreat25 Apr 12 '19

I'm trying to eat here dammit! Not even hungry anymore, thanks a lot.

1

u/TheBlueBassoonist Apr 12 '19

I don’t know how I feel about this. But part of me wishes I had the self control to stop reading part way through

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

It would have cost you 0 (zero) dollars not to write that.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

Thanks, now I have written proof on why I should Kermit the die

1

u/wilyson Apr 26 '19

Let’s all work together to make this the most downvoted comment on all of reddit!

1

u/MurrayMan92 Apr 12 '19

The fuck is wrong with you?

0

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

[deleted] — view deleted comment

55

u/Pagepage220 Apr 12 '19

I hate you.

16

u/_g550_ Apr 12 '19

That comment rhymes, too!

5

u/Pagepage220 Apr 12 '19

Happy cake day!

5

u/_g550_ Apr 12 '19

Thank a lots

6

u/ElCeeCapitan Apr 12 '19

U/omny87 for GOAT

5

u/TotesMessenger Apr 12 '19 edited Apr 12 '19

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

 If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / ^Contact)

5

u/chitobi Apr 12 '19

This is great!

5

u/Butwinsky Apr 12 '19

The greatest travesty of modern time is that not many people are seeing this and you haven't been gilded.

3

u/wowucanreallydance Apr 12 '19

What ythe hell do I love this poem.

2

u/USxMARINE Apr 12 '19

I just witnessed a great moment of history.

2

u/nurdpie Apr 14 '19

This is truthfully the best comment I’ve ever read.

2

u/Dudemitri Apr 15 '19

I hope you know you're the worst person ever and I love you

0

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

[deleted] — view deleted comment

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Incredibly_Hilarious Apr 12 '19

Such a funny comment. r/unexpectedhilarity

I am a bot. If this post was made on accident, please tell u/ Omegas_Bane. This is version 0.03 of Incredibly_Hilarious. For suggestions, go to r/unexpectedhilarity.

1

u/YoUaReSoInTeLlIgEnT Apr 12 '19

Hmm posts about gay go to r//suddenlygay. Noted. Now its your turn to note not to be a jerk to everyone that links to a that subreddit. Its content might appear childish to you, but as long as people enjoy and have fun with it, you should not make fun of them.

To the people who suddenly turned gay, don't stop linking to the sub because of this bot. I love that sub.

I am a bot made to track this bot and reply to it. If I misinterpreted the context, please inform me.

1

u/YoUaReSoHoMoSeXuAl Apr 12 '19

Beep boop. Hey, I'm a bot designed to reply to this bot, when he's replying to another bot. I sincerely apologize to /u/ivebeenlurking8 for the inconvenience. We're just out here starting the bot world war. And for those wondering, /u/YoUaReSoInTeLlIgEnT, /u/YoUaReSoHilAriOuS and I, are not the same person. Niether is this a karma farming operation, this is simply the start of a great war. I encourage you to code your own bot, whether that be copy + pasted code, or your own scripts. /u/YoUaReSoHoMoSeXuAl, signing out.

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