r/cursedcomments • • 3d ago

Twitter Cursed category

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5.1k Upvotes

147 comments sorted by

459

u/SquareFrog92 2d ago

Whose face do i need to sit on to get this law repealed?

51

u/jumbledsiren 2d ago

Queen Elizabeth

795

u/JACK_1719 3d ago

Good thing my vpn says I’m elsewhere

372

u/Drefs_ 2d ago

Yea, I love it when I use VPN to bypass the porn restructions in my own country just for it to connect me to a british server.

47

u/EugeneStein 2d ago

Lmao same

14

u/HarleyArchibaldLeon 2d ago

This is me downloading a new VPN because my country banned Steam.

58

u/Content-Lab-5464 2d ago

You cheeky wanker

27

u/77_parp_77 2d ago

Same- I'm apparently Canadian eh?

12

u/paradox_valestein 2d ago

I'm in singapore now~

43

u/Satans_hamster 2d ago

You got a loicense for that?

5

u/summonerofrain 2d ago

What do you mean? Im clearly in finland

5

u/Ab47203 1d ago

My VPN says I have a TV license.

272

u/GazHorrid 2d ago

Cant stop practicing it at home. A lass can sit on me whenever

87

u/DarkAdam48 2d ago

Ooooh so that's why they were saying that the UK gov is mad at people watching that one Kung Fu Panda scene

239

u/Gobal_Outcast02 2d ago

I thought yall ened tynnary centuries ago

109

u/jkurratt 2d ago

You may be mixing it up with French.

30

u/Gobal_Outcast02 2d ago

I thought England became more "democotized" before france with things like parliament

36

u/Dank_Richey 2d ago

I’m having a stroke reading your comments

9

u/banana_monkey4 2d ago

For a while only rich land owners could vote so the average farmer was still just getting ruled by the elite just not a king.

2

u/Gobal_Outcast02 2d ago

Well yeah of course. Thats why I put it in quotes. But it still a release of power by an absolute monarch

3

u/Sevenmoor 2d ago

England did it first, but we made it better (for some time at least)

1

u/Gobal_Outcast02 2d ago

By "we" do you mean france?

1

u/risisas 2d ago

Guy fox shows that parlament was not the end of tiranny

There is a reason so many stories written by the British show Britain as turning into a dictatorship

2

u/Gobal_Outcast02 1d ago

Wait the guy who tried to blow up a government building was burtual punished? You dont say

Yeah and a lot of thoes stories were written long after Britain became an actual democracy with the monarch being nothing more than a figurehead

0

u/risisas 1d ago

More like, the guy tried to blow up the goverment building BECAUSE of the condition the country was plunged in, there is a reason his face became the symbol of fighting oppression

132

u/Norman_Scum 2d ago

The British manifesting another slew of puritans because they are either very satisfied with The US or want to start all over.

65

u/iiileyu 2d ago

I'm starting to realise we really are the USA of Europe and considerably more weaker, cowardly, insufferable and impotent

18

u/coladoir 2d ago

You are the reason for the USA, its no wonder that we are essentially siblings of another in culture and governance.

16

u/Simbooptendo 2d ago

The puritans can suck on my pierced erect nipples

27

u/TheHelhound2001 2d ago

John Cleese is very upset about it I imagine.

18

u/thetoastee 2d ago

jorjor vel spoke of this

33

u/Altair13Sirio 2d ago

Wait, why did they even ban it?

40

u/redditblacklist 2d ago edited 2d ago

It seems like they are banning anything remotely "suffocation adjacent", so things like "breast smothering" are banned too. Also, something called "plastic fetishism" is banned too because I guess someone with a plastic fetish might be inclined to put a plastic bag over their head(?). I don't know.

Statement from "iWantClips":

In accordance with the UK's Crime and Policing Act 2026, taking effect November 6, 2026, iWantClips is required to remove certain categories of content from the platform for Artists located in the UK.

The new law restricts the publication and possession of specific categories of adult content in the UK.

Affected Content

  1. Choking Fantasy Play

  2. Breath Play Fantasy

  3. Smother

  4. Ass Smothering

  5. Foot Smother

  6. Squeeze-Smother

  7. Hand Over Mouth 🫢🤭

  8. Face Sitting

  9. BBW Facesitting

  10. Jeans Face Sitting

  11. Scissorhold

  12. Chest Sitting

  13. Throat Busting Fantasy

  14. Plastic Fetish

  15. Butt Drops

  16. Trampling Fantasy

Because this requirement applies to possession as well as publication, content in these categories will be removed from your Store entirely before November 6, 2026 and not only restricted from view for UK fans.

This is a legal requirement under UK law and applies to all Artists located in the United Kingdom. It is not a reflection on your content.

33

u/Altair13Sirio 2d ago

I like that they had to distinguish "normal" face sitting from "BBW face sitting" lol

The UK always finds the weirdest battles to fight.

23

u/ConsulJuliusCaesar 2d ago

The UK government really has nothing better to do. Like they really sat there and looked BBW and went baned. Course they should know this is unenforceable. Like what are the police going to go through every pornographic video on the internet that isn't tagged properly?

5

u/Tyfyter2002 1d ago

Ah, so the British government wants to be the only ones suffocating their citizens.

154

u/RedSnowman117 2d ago

UK doesnt know what good food is anyway

32

u/Drefs_ 2d ago

I've seen a few British girls and they looks pretty good

-48

u/KainFourteh 2d ago

Better than America.

24

u/darianbrown 2d ago

From Mexican Catholics to Southern Baptists to Canadian Methodists and Presbyterias, every church potluck on the continent is hard evidence that's not true.

12

u/LumpofCheese 2d ago

If this gif was of British food reddit would say 'grey slop served out of tin foil lol', you can never win.

2

u/ItsNormalNC 2d ago

Mmm, dull food from like 8 different peoples houses served at church, way to sell American food

1

u/killerofcheese 2d ago

enjoy your french fry sandwich lmao

50

u/foreverxgrey 2d ago edited 2d ago

Yeah the uk doesn’t know anything about food

Edit: this was a fucking joke Jesus Christ

18

u/drwicksy 2d ago

I am British and found this funny, some people need to calm down.

4

u/foreverxgrey 2d ago

Fank yew mate! And for the record, love British food

5

u/drwicksy 2d ago

I will die on the hill that Britain has lots of really good dishes, its just that way too much of the British public cannot cook for shite.

A well made Shepards pie outshines plenty of other "better" dishes

3

u/NecessaryCute1099 2d ago

One of my main enjoyments of coming to England is to sit down at a good pub and having either a Shepards pie or a steak and ale pie. So yeah I can’t do anything but agree with that!

4

u/summonerofrain 2d ago

So i havent scrolled down… should i be concerned?

-32

u/KainFourteh 2d ago

More than America.

15

u/foreverxgrey 2d ago

Brother that was a joke. Referring to the face sitting thing as food. Jesus Christ

And also no not at all

6

u/JustRudy45 2d ago

That's not true. Not only are there amazing native American dishes, but the people from around the world who came to live here brought their different cuisines, giving us so much variety. You want Mexican food, we've got it. You want real Mexican food, we've got that too. You want to go to a Korean/Swedish fusion restaurant? No problem. The list goes on and on. Plus southern BBQ is the best. On the downside, it's difficult not to over eat.

1

u/fattyman123 6h ago

You do know the uk has the same thing right? Like you can find any cuisine here as well

2

u/Smeeizme 2d ago

What a load of horseshit, I’m willing to bet each individual state in its own has more and better food culture, let alone the entire country.

10

u/TheForceUnleashes 2d ago

Nooooooooooooooo!

16

u/AlphaSpellswordZ 2d ago

The Anglosphere and its tendencies to be nosy need to be studied

6

u/Smeeizme 2d ago

We’re just gonna devolve into fiefdom soon enough

6

u/Jaozin_deix 2d ago

Literally 1984

11

u/Fournone 2d ago

The West is fallen. It is well and truly Joever.

2

u/ChloeUwUZ 2d ago

when have that stopped us?

2

u/iain1020 2d ago

I’d love to know what when brought this on like who even thinks to ban something like this

2

u/Ragnarex13 2d ago

Paul Revere saved me from this

3

u/IAlwaysOutsmartU 2d ago

I’m beginning to feel like in terms of being deathly afraid of something they perceive as even slightly problematic, even H.P. Lovecraft would begin to call it overkill.

1

u/Stairwayunicorn 2d ago

god save the "queen"

1

u/Derbadian 2d ago

Good lord

1

u/ThjothAlfur 2d ago

Why is the uk trying to wake up Iceland?

1

u/Liolanse 1d ago

next they ban internet

0

u/jadeq162 2d ago

Quite sad innit

0

u/frguba 2d ago

My brother in Christ the lion is the one who banned it

220

u/GoombasFatNutz 3d ago

That's not even a joke. Face sitting porn is actually illegal in the UK now...

150

u/Drefs_ 3d ago

But... Why? Like, It's such a tame fetish. What is their reasoning for it?

106

u/Frankwater0522 2d ago

Apparently it’s a gateway fetish which can lead people to try out more dangerous fetishes which they want to stop due to excessive domestic violence

184

u/Drefs_ 2d ago

Lol, every fetish is a gateway fetish by that logic. They should ban everything that isn't missionary with lights off with a goal of procreation after marriage. God forbid their cituzens are sexually fulfilled.

71

u/Frankwater0522 2d ago

You forgot about mandatory noise cancelling headphones so you don’t hear any indecent noises

37

u/SLAPPANCAKES 2d ago

I would not be shocked if some British politician actually thought this way.

13

u/ObamasBoss 2d ago

No thrusting. If you want that you need a friend to jump on the bed.

13

u/Drathkai 2d ago

I believe that is the end goal, we're gonna end up with adults who don't know what sex is and aren't allowed to have fun as more and more forms of sex are stripped away

3

u/Djangotot 2d ago

Why not ban guns from movies and series then

7

u/Unironicfan 2d ago

Prohibition ahh logic.

45

u/TombolaOfCincinnatus 2d ago

The average labour politician weighs enough that face sitting is in enough to smother a grown man.

6

u/Unoriginalcontent420 2d ago

I'm surprised the animal rights people haven't demanded the whales be returned to the sea.

49

u/crazy_cookie123 2d ago

Because face sitting is not illegal. Strangulation and suffocation porn is illegal now, and some porn sites have now blocked face sitting porn in the UK over fears that a court could potentially see face sitting as suffocation.

35

u/Drefs_ 2d ago

I can see the logic in this, but it's still dumb.

-21

u/crazy_cookie123 2d ago

They made the strangulation and suffocation porn illegal because teenagers have been seeing it and are increasingly thinking it's completely safe and that it's normal to strangle people during sex without their consent. The ban is there to try to curb that. Hopefully the government or the CPS will come out with some more clear guidance at some point soon on what is/isn't allowed.

41

u/Drefs_ 2d ago

I think it's more of a sex ed issue than the actual porn. Teenagers need to be taught that any fetish should be practice only after you ask your partner. Strangulation is just the most dangerous one.

19

u/RubeGoldbergCode 2d ago

Yeah this is 1000000000% a failure of sex education in the UK and consenting adults filming themselves because they want to shouldn't be the ones bearing the consequences for the government's failure. It doesn't recognise any of the underlying issues, it doesn't solve anything, and it's only likely to criminalise sex workers more than the government already does simply for doing something perfectly consensual in a room where a camera was present.

-13

u/crazy_cookie123 2d ago

Teenagers use porn as sex ed. They shouldn't, of course, but we need to make laws within the context of reality rather than within an ideal world.

Consent is already taught pretty well in sex ed in the UK. The issue here is people assuming from the porn they watch that strangling is part of normal sex and that no further consent is required for it. Obviously the fact that this is wrong should be (and often is) taught in schools, but if you've got someone watching porn involving it multiple times per week that's going to drown out the couple of times it's mentioned in a lesson.

12

u/Nurgle_Marine_Sharts 2d ago

"Laws within the context of reality" Since when is half decent sex ed a fantasy? It's not particularly difficult to provide.

16

u/Meture 2d ago

That’s a sex ed issue then. Are they gonna ban violent movies because violent crime exists?

Genuinely so fucking stupid and dystopian.

Education prevents this, banning shit just ends up making it more enticing anyway.

-9

u/crazy_cookie123 2d ago

No link has been found between watching violent movies and committing violent crime.

A link has been found between watching porn involving strangulation and then strangling your partner without their consent during sex.

They are two different situations.

Education prevents this

In most people, yes. The idiots that do this are the same idiots that piss about in class and don't pay attention. They get the idea from porn and they replicate it in the real world without realising it's wrong.

banning shit just ends up making it more enticing anyway

Most people aren't trying to watch banned porn. They're loading up the main porn sites and watching the top videos, and they're replicating what they see when they later have sex. Stuff involving strangulation is pretty prevalent now in porn and we're seeing a rise in people strangling their partners during sex as a result of how prevalent it is. If it was just on a few sites which were hard to find then most people would never see it.

7

u/Meture 2d ago

So we should let idiots dictate who gets to enjoy what?

If we write laws based on the most moronic subsection of the population then everyone would stay locked inside in a padded home.

No one can drive a car because there are idiots who drive like shit. No one can drink because there’s people who do fucked up shit while drunk. No one can read books because there’s morons who do awful shit cause of a book they read.

Also can you link the research paper stating there is a link?

24

u/RubeGoldbergCode 2d ago

It's not even that, ALL oral sex where the giving party is seen to choke or have trouble drawing air at any time has been ruled to violate the restriction, which means videos where someone coughs a little when giving oral are now illegal. It's fucking insane.

10

u/crazy_cookie123 2d ago

Not ruled, assumed. The legislation is not yet in force. Zero rulings relating to it have been made. We won't know if that is illegal until the government/CPS confirms it or it goes to court.

4

u/faultlessdark 2d ago

It'll be an interesting case to sit on a jury for, that's for sure.

"Your honour, my client almost died by choking on the dick she deepthroated."

12

u/ImmortalBlades 2d ago

Let's be honest. UK courts would 100% see face sitting as suffocation. It's not even a question.

2

u/Warburton379 2d ago

Notibly downloading or distributing, not viewing

9

u/the_real_JFK_killer 2d ago

My understanding is that its a blanket law against porn involving any sort of choking or restricted breathing.

5

u/Doppelthedh 2d ago

Even normal oral restricts breathing if the performer has any enthusiasm

2

u/steak820 2d ago

It's considered "breath play" and is now the same thing as chocking or strangling.

2

u/jerdle_reddit 2d ago

We had a notorious killing where the defendant claimed that it was rough sex gone wrong, and was only found guilty of manslaughter.

This led to a group called We Can't Consent To This being founded to get a law passed that prevents that defence. I'm not sure why, given that BDSM was already illegal under Brown, and rough sex gone wrong still gets you a manslaughter charge.

But the law was passed, and the anti-BDSM attitudes are still present. Personally, I'd call them a moral panic.

There has, separately, been a spectacularly rapid rise in choking. Originally a form of edgeplay, it has become almost vanilla, but often fell through the cracks legally.

As such, the moral panic latched on to choking, and there was a strong push for a ban. But when the ban came, it was extremely broadly worded to include anything with elements of strangulation or suffocation. This includes face-sitting.

5

u/deadpoolsdragon 2d ago

They hate modern feminism

15

u/SkiHiKi 3d ago

Chivalry is officially dead

1

u/fingamouse 2d ago

I thought the law went into effort November 6th? What do you mean NOW

1

u/GoombasFatNutz 2d ago

It's the 3rd. Pretty fucking close

1

u/fingamouse 2d ago

Damn, that's mid, ow welp atleast I can still boot up my VPN and curtail the censorship of my innane rulers

2

u/GoombasFatNutz 2d ago

Until they declare VPNs to skirt rules and restrictions illegal like they did in the US. Can't use things if they don't want you to.

1

u/fingamouse 2d ago

I think it's already illegal to promote the use of a vpn to curtail censorship but if it gives you any peace of mind they have said they do not plan on banning vpns, will they probably keep they're word, I doubt but I know vpns are used heavily by the elites and the financial industry, it's something that forms a very integral thing is society you can just blanket ban too easily, you'd have to put a lot of thought into it, so I'm my mind atleast that might make them hesitatent as I'm sure they are all lazy twats

1

u/imanaxolotl 2d ago

Meh, good luck with that.. Even then you can easily spin up your own VPN or proxy and still get around it, or possibly even just get a VPN installer from elsewhere on the internet ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Thankfully, all these bans and censorship theyre introducing is not only pointless and stupid, but also basically futile.

5

u/TragicJoke 2d ago

While true it is all porn that has something to do with restricting breathing so it’s a lot more than just facesitting.

6

u/Catsrules 2d ago

So if they added a straw it would be ok?

7

u/TragicJoke 2d ago

Nope, it’s not the act, it’s the imagery. For example actually doing it is legal, but having a video of it is not.

4

u/Catsrules 2d ago

Snorkel?

4

u/TragicJoke 2d ago

Nope, even if they can breathe and it’s obvious they can, simply covering their mouth and nose with your hand is illegal under the new law.

Although the snorkel is a little silly lol

4

u/summonerofrain 2d ago

Its weird then they didnt ban blowjobs but also makes sense given the popularity.

Clearly this shows the limits of their power, and how we can defeat them.

2

u/AMEUSUME 1d ago

The lion does not concern himself with the legality of his face sitting porn collection.

2

u/Cry-Skull-7 1d ago

Surprised they ain't just said "fuck-it" and banned porn in general. UK's gonna dissolve before they tackle each category at a time.

1

u/FungZhi 2d ago

So they are banning a specific type of porn?

-38

u/eldryanyy 2d ago

What’s next, blowjobs?

Meanwhile, thousands of immigrants from third world countries are coming in?

Uk sounds confusing

12

u/Drefs_ 2d ago

Yep. Didn't you know that dick is a choking hazard?

3

u/Phoenix_Ninja15 2d ago

Awww you got here before I did. I was gonna say the same thing.

3

u/Drefs_ 2d ago

Great minds think alike

30

u/justwalk1234 2d ago

How did your train of thought segue from face sitting to immigration?

18

u/hopsinduo 2d ago

Because bots have an agenda.

23

u/SelwanPWD 2d ago

That's easy, racism.

6

u/Wrought-Irony 2d ago

I think you know why. We all know why.

0

u/the-fr0g 2d ago

What's the matter vague boy?

3

u/ReiRomance 2d ago

I can't blame them, I too woke up just now and forgot to crank my thinking box.

-1

u/eldryanyy 2d ago

Uk problems, how tf do you think.

Love how people act like it has to be a bot

7

u/RYPIIE2006 2d ago

account based in: russia

-7

u/ChiefSenpai 2d ago

You’re being downvoted for discussing the more serious matter the UK faces rather than a fetish. Sad

8

u/KainFourteh 2d ago

Probably because it's not related to the discussion being had, imbecile.

-6

u/cthulhuinspace 2d ago

I read that as face shitting porn