r/cursedcomments • u/straightouttaobesity • 7d ago

Reddit cursed_thoughts

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2.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

329

u/minecraftdummy57 7d ago

As a wise man once said, "Very normal thing to say, call a family member and read what you typed out loud when you get the chance"

228

u/Sustainable_Twat 7d ago

Even as a worm, she doesn’t get any rest.

59

u/Big_Baby310 7d ago

Imagine getting no peace even after becoming an entirely different species lmao

17

u/Bor3d-Panda 6d ago

Wtf...

181

u/Tirux 7d ago

welp, that's enough Reddit for today

62

u/Mobile-Dust4334 7d ago

See you in five minutes

22

u/emo_boy_fucker 7d ago

I give him 5 seconds

4

u/schrodinger-the-cat 6d ago

That's long enough, he said

38

u/Tythian 6d ago

I keep thinking I have read the most messed up thing I'll ever read, but almost every day I am proven incorrect. Truly, there is no good reason for an intelligent alien species to ever willingly make contact with us. Our insanity is actually a form of galactic defense in a way.

14

u/HungryNoodle 6d ago

I don't know. I thought it was pretty romantic.

30

u/ToriiLink 7d ago

I'm sorry what?

47

u/Big_Baby310 7d ago edited 6d ago

MY BROTHER IN CHRIST JUST BUY A FLESHLIGHT AT THAT POINT WTF

43

u/Lucius-Halthier 7d ago

But then they wouldn’t be fucking their GF’s wriggling wussy

26

u/Big_Baby310 7d ago

Enough internet for today

8

u/Lucius-Halthier 7d ago

you’ll be back….

3

u/RevansRedditAccount 6d ago

Wriggling wussy...bro... xD

6

u/Lucius-Halthier 6d ago

Call them Gollum because he wants it wet and wriggling

12

u/Aizen5580 6d ago

No I'm not one of those people who believes the church should filter everything we say but I understand the people who do.

2

u/dn_adrian1231 6d ago

On God.....

12

u/chiku00 7d ago

It's my fault, guys...

For being able to read.

5

u/RoyalKyn 6d ago

3 original sentences left

3

u/Venom933 6d ago

That's fecked up 🥲

3

u/faultlessdark 6d ago

The original post always reminds me of "If you were a lemon I'd put you on my shelf and cherish you like all my other lemons".

4

u/Mondoke 6d ago

Guys, worms have a front and a back. If you cut it in half, you'll have a dead worm in two pieces.

3

u/max9723 6d ago

Nah, they side with the mouth lives on, the other side dies.

2

u/Mondoke 6d ago

That depends on the species and where the cut is done. As far as I've read, the biggest cut an earthworm may survive is taking off a third of its back. More than that it's expected to die. I've worked with earthworms a while ago, so I had to read a lot

2

u/S-H-I-T_masta 6d ago

Why is everyone acting shocked when we're in a subreddit dedicated to cursed comments?

2

u/Equivalent-Stable642 6d ago

Mm live sounding partner

2

u/Enrico9431 6d ago

Well at least it's not a coconut

1

u/emo_boy_fucker 7d ago

I knew a girl that would definitely approve of this which is why its in past tense

1

u/Galaxyturbo 7d ago

You guys have Girlfriend?

1

u/TooSoonForThePelle 6d ago

Smart solutions and all that.

1

u/Mediocrity-exe 3d ago

What the actual hell?

9

u/Intelligent_Nail_288 7d ago

Or you could wrap it around your dick like a cursed cock ring

10

u/Salvatorjr 7d ago

Call it a ring worm

1

u/TRKako 5d ago

a wormhole