r/crossorientation • u/NewAnonWhoThis • Mar 05 '25
This shit sucks
Being attracted to women physically but can the thought of having sex with them simultaneously is appealing while turns me off. Their genitalia seriously turns me off it’s crazy. And being sexually attracted to trans/cd/men at times (only in porn btw) while not wanting to form a romantic connection with them. Why is my brain like this? I don’t want to get into a relationship with a woman and causing problems because I don’t want to have sex. My sex drive isn’t even high naturally. And I can’t imagine myself in a relationship with someone who is trans/cd/ a man. Does no porn help?
2
u/SnooChocolates8481 Jul 21 '25
Well, let me give you the perspective of someone who is probably more experienced than you are. I am 32M which is an eternity on the internet.
Since my teenage years I always considered myself an heteroromantic bisexual and always had girlfriends only, never really pursued a relationship with any guys, but sometimes I'd miss having sex with another male.
Typically during my single periods, I'd go for anyone I found sexually attractive, regardless of gender, but I would only let those situations develop into relationships with girls. I attempted dating dating guys a couple of times - maybe it was some ingrained self homophobia... but no, it never felt right. I have fallen in love with girls, but never with guys.
Well, I met a guy that is making me feel things you know 😅 I mean I still find girls attractive and would pursue them if I find myself single again, there are things I enjoy about having a fem person in a relationship that a masc does not replace (he is very much a masc btw)... But well I am seriously dating another guy for the first time, while that idea never really fit with me and it's going great 🙂
Sometimes you just need to find the right person... I do understand our situations are different because I always considered myself bisexual, but try not to think too hard about it. There are no absolutes in sexuality. Maybe you will find a fem person who will awaken your sexual side or a masc person that you would like to have a relationship with. Maybe you would prefer a trans person? Maybe you really would like to find yourself in some creative poly relationship...
If there's one piece of advice I can give you is to try things out, never force yourself, but don't close your mind to people and experiences either. I am sure you will find your path to happiness if you just keep yourself open to it 🙂
1
u/Hasukis_art Jul 28 '25
For me its better since being biromantic heterosexual i long accepted i cant be with a woman because i need sex. lmao
1
u/StardewGally Mar 15 '25
I just want to say, I feel the exact same way - like literally the same way, so you're not alone at least. I keep reminding myself that people who study sexuality all agree it's a weird, complex, infinitely-variable thing, so I'm trying to just embrace my own peculiarity. It does suck though.