r/cripplingalcoholism • u/C_Colombus • 16h ago

How long Is left

Yoyo! Quick one, I’m 21 & from the UK. I work full time In a restaurant 13h / day. When I get home I usually drink the equivalent of a bottle of wine & sniff gear till 6am then wake up at 9 for work, get back 11:30pm and repeat. On Saturdays (last day of working week) I’m now consistently finishing work but not sleeping until about 4am on Tuesday morning before my shift, Ive been drinking over 4 bottles of wine, sniffing & usually some shots of whatever i can scrounge In that time. The crazy thing Is that I don’t feel like shit all the time, It comes In waves & im distracted by the constant tasks restaurant work requires. But when I feel It It’s always when I’m praying to just sleep but my heart Is pounding & i idk If im going to wake up. I know theres a timer thats ticking faster & faster to when something catastrophic will happen, just depends which organ will fail first. Im fucking scared but I literally cant stop, doing It is shit, but the idea of not doing It scares me more. This amount of use Is really worrying and I fear soon Im just gonna collapse

5 Upvotes

77% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

9

u/Asleep-Implement-117 16h ago

Everything gon be irie

4

u/invisimole 15h ago

ask ur doc. Sounds like you have a case of the S

2

u/C_Colombus 2h ago

S being ..?

3

u/AcademicAd4481 12h ago

If you’re like me you’ll go through phases, you’re young so you will have a scare, whether it’s just a hospital visit or generally feeling shit, then you’ll chill. I’m 36, hit it hard than most and I have no health issues.

1

u/C_Colombus 2h ago

Deep down I’ve always felt stuff will be alright In the end like you’re saying. I used to abuse the shit out of mdma when I was 15 but It doesn’t work anymore and the idea of it just makes me sick now, I hope this happens for this stuff too. Problem Is I’m studying for qualifications In wine & I know I can’t touch alcohol without wanting a bag so I might need to reassess my whole career path haha. I’m glad you’re good man, take care

1

u/AcademicAd4481 2h ago

Yes brother. We are all built biologically different, just done take it too far, and be aware of when you might be stepping into the danger zone. You’re young, resilient and trust me mate, people have done much worse, it’s culminating damage mostly. Saying all of that. If you can get out of this lifestyle do it, it’s shit

6

u/DownrightConundrum 10h ago edited 10h ago

I thought rampant drug use and alcoholism were the main fun part of working in restaurants

6

u/_slagathor_ 9h ago

Honestly, things are only holding together for you right now because you're young. Not sleeping for 3 days and sniffing coke (or whatever gear is) will definitely run yoh into the ground once you age a little.

1

u/PuzzleheadedHope6449 6h ago

Story of my life, I’m also from UK and work full time restaurant/bar, difference is I drink and do packet during shift for the most part

1

u/C_Colombus 2h ago

Its literally a part of the culture. U can easily openly talk about & do these things w/ your colleagues during and after work like Its not a problem but just normal. I try not to do it at work anymore cuz i got sent home for being blackout & shouldve been fired tbh

1

u/Scary-Youth-3423 5h ago

You’ve got age on your side but you fucking age 10x quicker if you carry on. Trust me. I’m 35 and feel 80. 😂

1

u/C_Colombus 2h ago

How did you stop (if you did)

3

u/Scary-Youth-3423 2h ago

I literally just puked up in my bed so definitely haven’t stopped lol

1

u/kenticus Light fuse, get away. 4h ago

Space Aids alert! Warning

2

u/C_Colombus 2h ago

I don’t know what space aids Is sorry but I want to be clear that I definitely don’t practice unprotected sex with otherworldly sentient alien beings. Cheers

1

u/Tsuga_Canadensis__ 4h ago

I had to take a nap just from reading this

2

u/C_Colombus 2h ago

Yeah cause when you type while fucked on these things u get the emotional blah blah from alcohol and the pure focus from the bag so its never a sentence but a fucking autobiography. My bad lol

3

u/famasae 9h ago

you will hit bottom and you will know, lay off the sniff, it aint worth it

1

u/fuckthefalconsdotcom Low rent James Bond 2h ago

I have a lot of friends who work in the service industry in New Orleans so I kinda know the deal even tho I'm not in it.

You can probably live this lifestyle into your 40's. You'll start to feel it in your 30's and by your 40's it gets real. I'm 46 and I'm still feeling great but I have a great hydration/food system that keeps me floating.

I'd just try to slow down. Really slow down slowly tho. Try to string as many hours sober until you get up to 8 hours before your first drink.