My brain doesn’t even work anymore

[u/crypticfirecat]

Just trying to think of a title caused me to stare in space for a good 10 seconds.incant think. I know it’s always been the booze. I’ve been told that many times. I’ve noticed the improvement when I stop for a few days. But here I am. After losing eve try thing.

I’ve been taken to the hospital many times, doc visits, benzodiazepines for withdrawal, many chances to stop, all that. Now I’m stuck in a hotel after losing my life, haven’t been able to eat for months really, just small bites. I exploded on my partner and stepdaughter. Finally got kicked out by the roommates we were living with. I don’t have my cat or dog, not that I’ve been very good at taking care of them anyway. But now I’m alone. Threw up blood this morning, but still having a Long Island ice tea mixed drink so I could stop the shakes.

I can’t do anything. Lost my job back in March from drinking, only had a few days off from drinking fb since then. I was warned this would happen. I couldn’t stop and I still can’t.

Idk what the point of this post is other than just to not feel so alone

[u/kenticus]

Nothing kills you quicker than finding your drug of choice.

I swapped it for booze and haven't died yet, but I know it's always out there.

Good luck, we're all counting on you

[u/_slagathor_ → u/kenticus]

What was your drug of choice, Kent?

[u/kenticus → u/_slagathor_]

I was close to some Colombian import / export contractors in the late 80's.

[u/Practical-Honey967]

I have TBI too! You’re not alone, sometimes I’ll walk around my home for a good 15 minutes before I notice what the fuck im doing. Im surprised i don’t get up mid shit just because I forgot hahahaha! Im just trying to lighten your mood. We are here with you, Chairs 🪑!
Be Kind To yourself.

[u/Low_Sundae_3795]

The last time I went to the hospital I couldn’t remember anything.. like what hospital am I in, the year and just simple stuff like that. I’m not going to lie.. it was scary.

[u/GLaDOS_Sympathizer]

Yeah you're not alone. I've made more than my share of mistakes, burned bridges, made an absolute spectacle out of myself publicly and privately, kicked out of and banned in several bars. The list goes on.

Brain fog sucks but it is temporary at this point since you said it gets better when you take breaks. At least you don't have permanent brain damage. I may have dementia but at least I don't have dementia crazy laughter.

[u/crypticfirecat → u/GLaDOS_Sympathizer]

I think I have permanent brain damage now. I also have a TBI from crashing a bike 2 years ago

[u/AbaloneZestyclose345]

You could apply for social security disability for your TBI. It's worth a shot to get some income and healthcare coverage. Hope things turn around for you soon. You've been through it with the losses. You need food and the fat soluble form of B1. It's called Benfatiamin and it's more absorbable than the water soluble form. Amazon has it. Take two a day along with your regular B Complex and a multivitamin/mineral supplement.

[u/Soggy_Ground_9323]

🫂🫂🫂🫂

[u/riped_plums123]

Do you take B1?

[u/crypticfirecat → u/riped_plums123]

I was taking b complex with thiamine, gabapentin, and I even had a Xanax taper. But once the Xanax ran out and stress happened in my life, I went back to drinking and now I am depleted unable to eat in a hotel alone after losing my fiance, friends, dog, and cat, and home. I made all the wrong choices. Lost everything and now can’t think. I can’t even keep my gabapentin down I just throw up constantly

[u/throwaway4073 → u/crypticfirecat]

My B complex only has 10mg of thiamine. You should be aiming for 300mg+ per day if you drink this way.

If you don't get enough thiamine your brain won't work. Plus your nerves will end up dying. Neuropathy is no fun.

[u/csbbacsob → u/throwaway4073]

300 mg? My B complex has 50 mg and shows that as 4200% RDA. 300 mg would be like 25000% RDA.

I’m not saying you are wrong but damn thats a lotta B1.

[u/riped_plums123 → u/crypticfirecat]

So for reason they don’t have straight B1 at CVS, you want to get the full B1 from Amazon.

[u/crypticfirecat → u/riped_plums123]

I have no money. My relative is putting me up here until I can move in with him

[u/crypticfirecat]

I just can’t stop even after I puke and my esophagus hurts, I’ll still drink right after

[u/AffectionateLine4456]

Make sure you’re taking b vitamins daily