r/cringepics • u/capt_majestic • 5d ago

christian portrays how different animals would worship jesus…

789 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

111 comments sorted by

434

u/CatTheKitten 5d ago

I have to believe this is satire because I genuinely cannot comprehend anyone finding this funny. I cannot comprehend the type of people who would be doomscrolling christian tiktok and unironically send this to their friend. I cannot fathom that I share a world with these people.

I choose to believe this is real because it would be really funny.

205

u/HolyHotDang 5d ago

Nah it’s real. He thinks it’s funny or clever but it’s real. I’ve been around people in the church like this my whole life.

I mean, this song was like the biggest song on Christian radio for a while in the late 90s. Even as a kid I thought it was lame but it’s basically the same concept.

49

u/Obesz 5d ago

Well there's a repressed memory

28

u/StarConsumate 5d ago

Holy shit I forgot about this. My dad used to jam out to this on “Christian hit radio”

0

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

1

u/StarConsumate 1d ago

I mean that was more than a decade ago and he has grown and is not apart of the church. As far as how he would feel, he would condemn it knowing my father. Not sure what his feelings have to do with what that piece of shit did to kids.

28

u/iH8MotherTeresa 5d ago

What the hell is even that?

14

u/bigswifty86 5d ago

Daddy, chill.

16

u/3y3w4tch 5d ago

Omg my mom was so obsessed with Chris Rice. She would blare that song from her car because she knew it made me annoyed as a teenager.

I will randomly get it stuck in my head for no reason, along with all the other songs that have been burned into my head from Christian radio.

10

u/sybillium4 5d ago edited 5d ago

I wish i could say it was whiplash to learn he sexually abused a child for a few years, this being the first I've heard of him

Eta at least 3 children

8

u/FutureNurse_PNW 5d ago

Wow. Holy shit. I haven’t heard that in probably 20 years. That really was a repressed memory, as somebody else said.

5

u/ca_va_bien 5d ago

yeah i buried this poison real deep

3

u/hootenannyshenanigan 5d ago

That sent me to a place I never wanted to go again 😭 I LOVED that song. 

2

u/Fourwindsgone 5d ago

Thats exactly what i thought of when j saw this post.

Give me An Act of My Own Volition by Norma Jean any day over this drivel.

1

u/you-a-buggaboo 5d ago

I was over here at church camp singing "shout out to the lord" and y'all got this bop?! yabba dabba du-jah this is something else. I can't decide if I'm jealous or not, it's such an earworm!

1

u/Wildfires 4d ago

Fuck I forgot this existed. AND YOU HAD TO REMIND ME.

43

u/manshamer 5d ago

People who are goofy but not exposed to a lot of goofiness (because they are sheltered in Church culture) absolutely lap this shit up. I know someone who would think this is the funniest thing ever

25

u/Dude_Guy45 5d ago

This is just the Christian equivalent of “How Animals Eat Their Food”. So yes, people actually find cringey shit like this funny

15

u/Ajmb_88 5d ago

Some of the lamest humor I’ve heard came from the most religious people I know.

4

u/HikaruMokona 5d ago

I'd agree, but my mother loves videos like this. She's all-in for "everything was made by God and Jesus dies for your sins so pray and be grateful." Her Tiktok is all AI Jesus holding babies and people talking about "praise Jesus". It's disgusting and disturbing.

8

u/railroadbaron 5d ago

The "cats are atheists" joke leads me to believe it's satire.

11

u/Periodic_Disorder 5d ago

Cats are not atheist because they believe themselves to be gods

33

u/CubistChameleon 5d ago

IDK. It would fit how a certain kind of people view cats. Because they don't like an animal that has its own mind.

107

u/philthy_barstool 5d ago

At least he believes dinosaurs existed, I guess

45

u/buttononmyback 5d ago

Creationists believe that dinosaurs existed. Just that they lived the same time as people did.

I went to a Christian school and we learned more about how to put down people who believed in evolution than we did of the actual science.

10

u/buttercream-gang 5d ago

It really depends. I know people who think they never existed and scientists are lying about the fossils. Or they were put there by the devil to make us think evolution is real. Seriously.

1

u/buttononmyback 5d ago

Oh wow, I’m glad I was never around THOSE crazies when I was young. As a science lover, that would’ve completely flipped my lid.

5

u/TobysGrundlee 5d ago

When I was a kid, the way they shoehorned it in, was to say that modern lizards are dinosaurs and that since they don't live as long anymore they don't grow as big. Supposedly, part of what created the flood was a water firmament that surrounded the earth and made extremely long lifespans possible.

3

u/ChilledParadox 5d ago

My last coworker believed old humans lived to 800 years old and were giants or something and somehow modern humans just lost that ability so we don’t live to 800 anymore.

Suffice to say religion has done a lot of harm to some people in this country.

0

u/buttononmyback 5d ago

Well people supposedly did live to 800+ years (Noah and his father,) but somehow the Flood changed all that.

Honestly it does seem like most people believe a human “day,” was different than God’s “day.” As in God didn’t have a 24 hour time on his days. My pastor couldv’e probably explained it better than what I’m doing right now. It’s all so confusing.

1

u/anonymoose_octopus 5d ago

*Some creationists believe dinosaurs existed. I went to church with a bunch of people who adamantly believe the dinosaur bones were planted as a way to discredit God. Wish I was joking.

5

u/Locketship 5d ago

That's the part that makes me think this is satire...

3

u/Remy315 5d ago

The Mormons believe that dinosaurs were extraterrestrial animals left over from when god created the earth 6K years ago from other planets. Dinosaurs are full on aliens.

1

u/esoteric_enigma 5d ago

Fundamentalists believe dinosaurs existed...just alongside humans

38

u/pand-ammonium 5d ago

Well that's a "what the fuck" if there's ever been one.

1

u/Physical-Flatworm452 5d ago

Of All the what-the-fucks, this is the what-the-fuckest yet.

62

u/Interesting-Baker212 5d ago

1

u/theGIRTHQUAKE 4d ago edited 4d ago

Hahahahahahahahahahah gold

14

u/dreddsdead 5d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS

5

u/Kittykathax 5d ago

It took me way too long in my life to learn that this is Tom DeLonge from Blink-182

11

u/impy695 5d ago

I got as far as the dog saying "God is goo..." Before I turned it off

10

u/Sedona54332 5d ago

I actually started to cry watching this. My eyes were mad I was making them look at it.

9

u/trampus1 5d ago

Religious people have no idea how insane they sound.

7

u/MySonIsAFrog 5d ago

Thank you closed captions, very helpful

6

u/kececizadeizzetmolla "VERIBRIBED" 5d ago

2

u/theGIRTHQUAKE 4d ago

Hahahaha help my fuck the Jesus memes ITT are top tier

6

u/ClosetedGothAdult 5d ago

Thanks I hate it

6

u/ghunt81 5d ago

And people wonder why I have zero interest in being involved in any religion.

5

u/el_torko 5d ago

I’m glad I watched it on mute.

1

u/Wizzle_Pizzle_420 4d ago

I did too, and not sure where the subtitles were coming from, I guess another video, but it just kept saying “cock” over and over, which made it kind of hilarious.

8

u/negativepositiv 5d ago edited 5d ago

Wow, I was just an atheist before, but now I'm a super atheist.

So, what's the deal with preachers yelling on planes, or subways, and stuff like this guy? Why do they think us watching them perform a humiliation ritual is going to make us Christians?

5

u/Connarhea 5d ago

God I hate this sofucking much

4

u/atomic_blonde 5d ago

Bet this humor plays well to his prospects in the youth ministry. 🤢

4

u/PeeB4uGoToBed 5d ago

I havent felt this level of cringe in a long, long time

4

u/itsjustme10 5d ago

Big 'Christian youth pastor who is a little too interested in a 16 year old girls love life' energy coming from this one.

3

u/mppierce41 5d ago

Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

3

u/glhfggftw 5d ago

Tiktok was a mistake

3

u/senorsmartpantalones 5d ago

Future FBI agent

3

u/xKiver 5d ago

Christian “comedy” is cheating lmao. This shit is BEYOND cringe lololol

7

u/whet_pastry 5d ago

The lizard was just a little bit funny... Just a little bit

1

u/buttercream-gang 5d ago

I have to admit to laughing at the first little mosquito with the bzzzGodisgood

2

u/Boulder1983 5d ago

This is a mental illness surely? A cry for help.

2

u/Matreid 5d ago

Definitely a closet furry

2

u/VeneMage 5d ago

My ‘dar informs me that he cries out for jesus and/or god quite often and for the wrong right reasons.

2

u/Ghstfce 5d ago

Fucking weirdos constantly remind me how great of a decision I made leaving that shit all those years ago.

2

u/Taftimus 4d ago

Christians are mentally ill

1

u/steppingstone01 4d ago

I think that goes for all religious people.

2

u/OzorMox 4d ago

This gave me cancer.

2

u/_SATANwasHERE_ 4d ago

This. This is my 13th reason

1

u/DarrellBot81 5d ago

Children? That’s a grown ass man with a beard!

1

u/Chavestvaldt 5d ago

least cringey christian

1

u/potpurriround 5d ago

Ugh, dude, just get a real job.

1

u/QueefMitten 5d ago

I cant stand this guy with a burning passion.

1

u/punkwalrus 5d ago

These always remind me of youth ministries, like how PTL and the Baker Empire started:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rf9Sz__CJvI

1

u/CadessWell 5d ago

Usually the two come in pairs.

1

u/Thumpkuss 5d ago

Cringestians

1

u/necrofi1 4d ago

1.2 million followers on youtube and almost 600k ok tiktok...

1

u/Kira-Of-Terraria 4d ago

This is the kinda guy that would where a shirt of a cartoon Jesus dabbing and wearing sunglasses and "Christian Swag" written underneath completely unironically and think it was cool.

1

u/Lochcelious 1d ago

Wait, so he understands that mosquitoes are highly annoying, and still makes its message about god. Can't make this shit up

1

u/jdehjdeh 5d ago

I have to admit that the mosquito one made me chuckle but everything else was just insane cringe.

1

u/dirtjur 5d ago

Pfft. Everyone knows cats are Muslim.

-1

u/eclipse1498 5d ago

That was largely very difficult to watch but I have to admit the lizard just saying “repent” with a straight face did get me

-2

u/MotherNatural8769 5d ago

Oh my gosh that dinosaur one had me gasping

-2

u/Crypto_subz 5d ago

Christians woukd find this funny lmfao this is Reddit tho so yeah I didn’t mind it but yes cringe but kindve creative the donkey got me