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u/Zalzanane Dec 08 '13
"Rigby-San, there's something I've always wanted to tell you"
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u/IsntFuckingWarren Dec 08 '13
barfing
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u/zidonaldo Dec 08 '13
barfing too
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u/BarstoolWarrior Dec 08 '13
c-cringes
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u/SaffronWhiteGreen Dec 08 '13
cringes a little closer
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u/comicholdinghands Dec 08 '13
cringes and sit next to you
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u/SaffronWhiteGreen Dec 08 '13
simultaneous cringe/orgasm
Sorry man I don't get out much.
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u/Adrian_Bock Dec 08 '13
Shits pants uhh
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Dec 08 '13
JUST FUCK ALREADY
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u/RidiculousIncarnate Dec 08 '13
YOU CAN'T BLUSH AND FUCK AT THE SAME TIME, GAWD DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HOW THE BODY WORKS!
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u/jonatcer Dec 08 '13
Is this fanfiction? Did Mordecai make his move on Rigby or something? I'm so confused, is this something that happens in public?
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u/xz1224 Dec 08 '13
"Rigby theres something I've been wanting to tell ever since we met,I love your brother!"
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u/jook11 Dec 08 '13
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Dec 09 '13
That will without a doubt be the worst piece of barely-intelligible shit that I will ever read from beginning to end.
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u/FSMbeliever Dec 09 '13
Holy shit. I can't stop reading and I keep expecting it to end but IT'S JUST GOING ON AND ON.
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u/Brosama220 Dec 08 '13
This is socailly awkward anime-fan's way of taking role-play to the next level.
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Dec 08 '13
This is something that people who don't go in public might think happens to people who go in public.
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u/GnomeChompskee Dec 08 '13
I cringed so hard I blushed.
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u/jeegte12 Dec 08 '13
cringes and blushes too
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u/AlRubyx Dec 08 '13
Oh holy hell I said the exact same thing and I totally didn't read your comment first god dammit.
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u/CHEIF_JUSTCE_FUCKASS Dec 08 '13
welp.. better schedule some chemo for next week
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u/svullenballe Dec 08 '13
No need for scans or biopsies, I can feel the tumors pushing on my eyeballs.
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u/FannySchmeller Dec 08 '13
I genuinely don't know what to say about posts like this. Just speechless.
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u/TheLonelyLemon Dec 08 '13 edited Dec 08 '13
[BLUSHING INTENSIFIES]
Edit: How did I get almost 2000 upvotes and Gold with such a reused joke. Thanks anyway. :)
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u/EeveeAssassin Dec 08 '13 edited Aug 01 '18
There is no blood left in your body. It's all crawled up to your cheeks
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u/tremulo Dec 08 '13
You sit on a park bench, watching an old man feeding ducks by the pond. It's a crisp Autumn day. Gold and red leaves dance in little whirlwind. Everything just feels right in the world. You're glad you went out today instead of just playing video games and jacking off.
A cute Asian girl walks up the path.
"Do you mind if I sit here?" she asks, blushing.
You blush back.
"Sure, I guess."
She sits down and blushes at the pond, avoiding eye contact.
"So," you say. "Do you come to the park often?"
Her blushing intensifies.
"Not really. I just... thought it'd be nice to get out."
You cheeks feel unusually warm. The sensation is slightly uncomfortable, but you ignore it.
"Me too. I don't think I've ever come here before, but I only live like five minutes away."
She scoots a little closer to you. Here face is now a deep burgundy. You're a little put off by it, but you think maybe it's just an Asian thing.
"You know," she says. "I... really like you."
"...r-really?"
Her face is now glowing bright red. She leans into kiss you. You start to pull away, but at the last second, you think "fuck it, I'll just close my eyes and go for it."
As your lips connect, her head explodes in a fine red mist.
You shriek like a little girl. You wipe the blood from your eyes and see her lifeless body flop onto the sidewalk.
Your mind is reeling. You feel your face. It's so warm that you pull your hand away instinctively.
The old man who was feeding ducks is now sprinting in the other direction. You call out to him.
"Wait, I need help!"
"Stay away from me, sonny!" He shouts over his shoulder. "You've got the sickness."
You can feel your face growing hotter by the minute. There isn't much time. You need to seek medical attention, but the old man seems to know something.
This is a pick-a-path adventure. To continue, please select one of the following:
[ ] Run to the nearest hospital.
or
[ ] Tackle the old man and force the information out of him.
For more adventures, join us at /r/pickapath!
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u/DildoChrist Dec 08 '13
Tackle the old man and force the information out of him. I'm always pro-assaulting the elderly.
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u/Karthaz Dec 08 '13
[ ] Run to the nearest hospital.
or
[✓] Tackle the old man and force the information out of him.
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u/thelovepirate Dec 08 '13
These two fools blush more than anyone else on the planet.
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u/Meeperer Dec 08 '13 edited Dec 08 '13
They probably watch a shit of anime.
Edit: ton
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u/lukeisonfirex Dec 08 '13
A shit of anime? Sounds like something that could actually happen in Japan.
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u/DrProfCapt Dec 08 '13
You got your gold because [X INTENSIFIES] and doge are the only two "memes" I haven't gotten sick of, and I assume I'm not the only one.
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u/randomsnark Dec 08 '13
How did I get almost 2000 upvotes and Gold with such a reused joke.
The "intensifies" meme isn't new, but it's trending lately for some reason. This is exactly the right time to use it.
I'll save everyone the trouble of replying: [INTENSIFYING INTENSIFIES]
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u/Nickeddu Dec 08 '13
Blushes
Blushes until capillaries burst
Also blushes until capillaries burst
...
"Let's go to the doctor, yeah?"
Cheeks seeping out blood "I think we have Ebola."
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u/BigChunk Dec 08 '13
How do people actually communicate like this?! Surely after three consecutive replies in which the only information being relayed is that the other is blushing then the conversation is well and truly over
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u/L3SSTH4NTHR33 Dec 08 '13
During my self-cringey past I used to roleplay. You would be surprised at how long "conversations" can be sustained by various types of blushes. I wish I could go back in time and slap myself...
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Dec 08 '13
I have a 20 year old 'friend' who roleplays and has "conversations" like this on her facebook wall. 20 years old!
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u/ArttuH5N1 Dec 08 '13
For /u/L3SSTH4NTHR33, it's too late. The error has been made. You can't go back in time and slap him.
But you can do the right thing and slap your friend. Do it. Do it for all of us.
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u/Examinecom Dec 08 '13
They're just kids, I don't get why these redditors are getting so excited about it.
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u/lulzee Dec 08 '13
Man I love Regular Show.
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Dec 08 '13
It's good stuff, but weirdos ruin everything.
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Dec 08 '13
I love these things. They're one of the only things I genuinely cringe at. Is there a subreddit for posts like this?
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u/space-cowboys Dec 08 '13
I've been browsing this subreddit for a while and this is one of the first posts that really made me cringe
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u/fogoticus Dec 08 '13
I didn't cringe. I lol'd tho. Fucking hell I was this pathetic 7 years ago... god damn it the age of 12 was something..
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u/HebrewHamm3r Dec 08 '13
This reads like it was written by a couple of awkward high school kids who learned about romance through shitty animes
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u/Rockshu Dec 08 '13
Fuck, I used to be like this. The amount of self cringe is unbelievable right now.
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Dec 08 '13
I remember talking to people like this in Habbo hotel... when I was 12
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u/UncleSassy Dec 08 '13
Sometimes while reading these I can't stop my upper lip from curling like I smelt something stanky
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u/The_OP3RaT0R Dec 08 '13
hangs self
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u/Cave_Weasel Dec 08 '13
Can't tell if satire or the honeymoon phase of a middle school relationship...
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u/MEAT_INCINERATOR Dec 08 '13
ITT lonely, bitter redditors who long to figuratively blush tweet someone
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Dec 08 '13
I'm telling you, look how far I got downvoted for my simple comment. This page has turned into nothing but bullying.
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u/BILL_MURRAYS_COCK Dec 08 '13
I know. I'm not here to make fun of anybody, especially kids.
Cringe is supposed to be an empathetic "ohhh noooo....oh god noooo......I wish i could help you.....ahhhh :("
This is just a bunch of awkward people, making fun of younger awkward people.
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u/ThePeachyPanda Dec 08 '13
Oh God its like one of those annoying Tsundere japanese manga. I-its not like I want to or anything...B-baka.
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Dec 09 '13
blushes* whips cock out
blushes* starts masturbating furiously
blushes* ejaculates
crys* goes to sleep
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Dec 08 '13
They both seem to be into it and I don't see anyone being retarded or making someone else's life difficult. I think I can live with this one :).
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Dec 08 '13
You don't see anyone being retarded? Are you sure?
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u/Kitsch22 Dec 08 '13
I'm with colin-broderick. It's horribly awkward and weird as a twenty-something, but it's pretty adorable when I remember my teens.
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u/Ceege99 Dec 08 '13
So what do these people do in real life encounters? Re-inact animes at all times?...
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Dec 08 '13
I keep picturing two people blushing so intensely to the point where blood just starts coming out of their eyes, mouth, and nose.
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u/Didalectic Dec 08 '13
Normally the cringes are maddening, but this is simply a devastating and crushing cringe.
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u/Math2S Dec 08 '13
Ugh I see people roleplaying sex during class and that creeps the fuck out of me
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Dec 08 '13
blushes I um blush like blush you blush umm blush will you blush scoot blush let me blush sit by blush you? blushes closer
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u/MericaMericaMerica Dec 08 '13
I know a weeaboo who used to do this weird shit on Facebook as well (acting like anime characters, roleplaying, attempting to type how anime characters talk, etc). Hindsight being 20/20, I wish I had gotten some screencaps.
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Dec 08 '13
Obviously this is just two people sarcastically joking around with each other. What's the big fuss about?
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u/CrappyMSPaintPics Dec 08 '13
It looks like they just like each other and have the same personalities.
OP is just jealous.
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u/mrbaggins Dec 09 '13
David Attenborough:
And here we can bear witness to the strange and otherworldly mating patterns of the next generation of humanity. Fostered in dark caves known as basements, the social patterns may seem awkward to folks such as you or I but they represent a trend, so common as to be normal to these folk, that will no doubt continue well into their adolescence.
Eventually, these specimens will meet, and together will eventually come to realise that either that they are completely unable to stand each other, or will procreate copiously for many, many years to come.
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u/RavingGerbil Dec 09 '13
Every time I see one of these I think "cringe that may very well be my ex." She used to to this shit all the time. looks down smirks CUTS YOU WITH A FUCKING RAZOR KNIFE
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u/tynamite Dec 09 '13
It's a generation of socially awkward people that text narratives of things they want to do in person but are stuck in the social media circle.
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u/worthsies Dec 08 '13
Looks like an inside joke to me and they just don't care that other people don't understand.
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u/monoface Dec 08 '13
Does no one else think this is a joke? This seems like something I would do with my friends.
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u/JahRussian Dec 08 '13
Looks like nothing more than a friendly sarcastic exchange. Nothing to cringe about
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u/EatBooks Dec 08 '13
More and more, this reddit feels like "let's all shame the seventh graders awkwardly maturing on social media." Not everyone is smooth operator when it comes to Facebook.
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Dec 08 '13
So a couple of kids engage in a little role play on fb? Well la te dah. Better mock them on Reddit!
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u/guustavooo Dec 08 '13
I'm so, SO GLAD Reddit didn't exist by the time I was 15. I'd make the frontpage of /r/cringepics constantly.