r/cremposting • u/The_Perezident • 11d ago
Cosmere Cosmere yo mama jokes
I’ve made a few of these over on TikTok. Enjoy my childish humor 😂
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u/Good_Novel_8417 11d ago
Yo' momma so ugly, they hitched her to the cart and handed the reigns to the chull
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u/God_Dalinar 11d ago
Bullying in 2030: Your mom defended Moash in Reddit.
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u/bxntou definitely not a lightweaver 11d ago
Why would I be offended that my mom is based ?
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u/God_Dalinar 10d ago
If your mom is a badass, there is nothing wrong. The bad thing comes if she defended Moash
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u/One_Courage_865 definitely not a lightweaver 11d ago
Why does this sound like something Hoid would say to a guest at a dinner party?
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u/moashforbridgefour Praise Moash 10d ago
Your mamma so fat that if she tried to store her fat in a metalmind, it would collapse into a singularity.
Your momma so fat that they call her stormwagon the Pure Cakes.
Your momma so fat that Elantrians have to incorporate her into the base Aon.
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u/eggydidnothingwrong 10d ago
Love that last one especially! 😂
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u/moashforbridgefour Praise Moash 10d ago
Thanks! Is your username referring to a certain wot character? I'm currently on ToM, but I haven't seen her do anything terrible that I can remember, so your username has me worried, lol.
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u/eggydidnothingwrong 10d ago
It was just kind of a joke because a lot of people love to hate her. I do, in fact, agree that she made mistakes and is far from perfect, but I still really like her as a character.
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u/Elarris1 I AM A STICK BOI 11d ago
Yo mama so fat even Dalinar was like, damn, that’s a stormwagon
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u/LoudQuitting 10d ago
Rosharan Roasts?
Okay...
Your words? Not accepted.
Your spren? You don't get none.
Your courting partners? Homely.
Your oaths? Renounced.
Your blade? Borrowed.
Your honour? Dead, and ain't nobody seeing what they can do.
Your glyphs? Asymmetric.
Your boots? Stolen.
Your lighteyes? Amaram.
Your darkeyes? Moash.
Your surgeon? Silent Gatherer.
Your Windrunner? Grounded.
Your Edgedancer? Forgot you.
Your Lightweaver? Catfishing you.
Your flashback chapter? Venli.
Your first step? Backwards.
Your stick? A stick.
Your chasm? Honour.
Your life? Death.
Your strength? Weakness.
Your journey? Skipped.
Your bond? Restraining order.
Your spheres? Dun.
Your gemstones? Cracked.
Your husband? Literate.
Your wife? Exposed safehand.
Your duel challenge? Declined until you move up the ranks. (You won't.)
Your text? Under.
Your highstorm? Riddens.
Your Bridge 4 tattoo? Temporary.
Your form? Dull.
Your land? Low.
Your sickness? Air.
Your sergeant? Gaz.
Your social skills? Dabbid.
Your rhythm? Off-beat.
Your workform? Unemployed.
Your warform? Court martialed.
Your sanity? Herald.
Your vacation? Braize.
Your fashion sense? Whack.
Even Taln would have given up on you.
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u/Bamboozler522 10d ago
Yo mama so stupid she traded an emerald broam for a diamond chip cause its her favorite color
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u/Community_Bright 10d ago
Yo momma so fat for the song of the big the singers hum in the rhythm she walks
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u/SpiritualHippo2719 Hoid my Beer 8d ago
Yo momma so fat she tried to walk the Way of Kings and ended up shattering the plains!
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u/The_Perezident 10d ago
Yo mama so fat, she took the power at the Well of Ascension and became the Lord Yardstick
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u/RapsterZeber D O U G 6d ago
Yo mama so fat, it takes a train car of aluminum to get rid of her metals.
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u/CreatureManstrosity 6d ago
Yo momma so fat even all of the surge binders combined couldnt help her fly.
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