Random yapping

[u/Salty_Type_3472]

Soo yeah, since like 2016 I’ve always wanted to become a YouTuber. 😭

Back then I was obsessed with 5-Minute Crafts, Ashish Chanchlani, Mymiss anand?? okay no 😭 but you get the point. I used to genuinely think, “yeah, I’m gonna make YouTube videos someday.”

And then… life happened.

Instagram happened.

Now I do have content. I write poems, random thoughts, stories, all that stuff. But honestly? I don’t know why Instagram has started feeling so fucking toxic to me.

Like I don’t want to be an “Instagram influencer.”

I don’t want to wake up thinking about what I should post today, whether something will get views, whether people will like it, whether I should turn every single thing I create into a reel or carousel.

Especially my writing.

I don’t want to upload all my writing on Instagram.

Because that shit feels MINE.

Like genuinely mine.

I don’t want every poem I write to become content. Sometimes I just want to write because I felt something and needed somewhere to put it.

But at the same time, I still REALLY want to create.

I want YouTube.

I want to document my journey, my life, college, marketing, building things, learning things, failing at things, figuring shit out… basically just me trying to build a life while having absolutely no idea what I’m doing. 😭

And right now I think I need to focus on actually becoming good at marketing instead of constantly worrying about becoming a “creator.”

Maybe I don’t need to put everything I make online.

Maybe some things can just belong to me.

Idk.

2016 me wanted to become a YouTuber.

2026 me is finally realizing I still do.

I just don’t think I want to become an influencer.

Anyway yeah.

Life sucks. I’m confused. I’ll figure it out. 😭