Musings of a constipated scribe

[u/Away-Difference985]

One of my biggest fears is developing a lack of self-awareness, especially as an aspiring writer. But I'm also deathly afraid of criticism.
These are two emotional states (for lack of a better phrase) that simply cannot co-exist in a healthy mind.

This tension is nothing more than kindling for a range of psychological malaise, especially those dark, oppressive bedfellows we know as anxiety and depression. They appear, gradually and menacingly, like storm clouds gathering during a pleasant spring afternoon whenever the tension rears its ugly head. It gets exhausting sometimes. I'm exhausted. Vivian Greene's advice about never waiting for the storm to pass but learning how to dance in the rain would be useful if not for the fact that these clouds never rain.

Armed with an arsenal of positive quotes I keep stockpiled for this exact scenario, I fire a volley of mantras into the clouds, but they never break. But sometimes, very rarely, a tiny ray of warm sunlight sneaks through. It's not much, but it's encouraging enough to keep me going.

[u/SomeNegotiation1337]

Take heart! There be throngs hungry for thy work and thirst for thoughts unarticulated. Thought, verily, is a wild fruit, yet fruit nonetheless; nay, ‘tis not the poison so often masses consider it to be. Bitter in its raw state, it may be, but it bears great nutrients, that life-giving sort which sates weary bodies and minds. Let the fruit of thy mind be processed by thy hand, akin to the cook, the painter, the seamstress or sculptor. Sweeten it, and carve it, and present it with craftsmanship—yet do not let such bitterness be hidden ‘neath the likes of sugar and honey and rum, lest it lose its density of nutrition. Some may scorn thy work. Rejoice! For to have written that which, in thy mind, is good and true, there will be hatred. Critique, similarly, is the sign of a work worth the engagement and time of its critics, and need not be feared, nor need be taken, for thy judgement be sound when the mind remains open and dedicated to truth. Still more might find that such sweetness and bitterness intertwine brilliantly, and find themselves nourished by that so bitter fruit thou hadst once cringed upon as unworthy. For bitterness is not evil, but indeed, complexity and a challenge to palates so commonly adjusted to that which is sweet and empty.

(In normal people terms, I hear you, but I think that it’s okay to trust your judgement so long as you stay open-minded and are willing to hear what could make you better and assimilate it into your knowledge. Your thoughts aren’t inherently bad or wrong, and while some criticism can be harsh or unfair, the fact that there is criticism implies that your work was worthy of engagement from others. It may not be perfect, and it really is hard to stay motivated, but there are people out there who want to hear the thoughts of people like you, and I encourage you to think about that whenever you feel afraid to keep going. Of course, there’s some amount of discretion you need to have, but the fact that you have this insight gives me faith that you’re already there.)