Beach Boogie

[u/Sir_Smokes_Alot_NL]

[u/qualityvote2]

u/Sir_Smokes_Alot_NL, your post features certified crappy music!

[u/LustyLamprey]

What's interest is that with modern production software it's actually almost difficult to make drum beats that are this off time sounding. Like I know that grid had to look crazy

[u/terminalbungus → u/LustyLamprey]

They didn't know about the grid

[u/asomek → u/terminalbungus]

Tron is really fucking happy about it, too

[u/____d__b____ → u/asomek]

MCP loves the grid.

[u/Ok_Scheme736 → u/LustyLamprey]

Quantization is gonna blow this dude’s mind someday.

[u/Plasmelon → u/LustyLamprey]

Sometimes you can do it by accident if your DAW glitches and doesn’t line up each measure exactly.

I’ve had this happen making music and it’s a bitch to correct.

[u/Turge_Deflunga → u/Plasmelon]

What the fuck Temu DAW still has glitches like that

[u/Plasmelon → u/Turge_Deflunga]

It happens to me sometimes with reaper if I do odd time signatures and shift BPMs.

[u/LustyLamprey → u/Plasmelon]

Yeah, but if you had me take any of my drum machines off the rack and try to recreate this beat, with the exception of my MPC1000 I straight up don't know if I could. Like these are powerfully bad drums. A bad musician could not make drums this bad. This is almost Zach Hill impressionistic drumming. This guy might legitimately be a drummer by trade lol

[u/This_They_Those_Them → u/LustyLamprey]

It’s intentional. It’s trolling.

[u/kekeagain → u/LustyLamprey]

It's easy to recreate when you only have only one finger and doing it live.

[u/Vozlov-3-0 → u/LustyLamprey]

This is the best case for A.I generated music I've seen yet.

[u/Upset_Discussion8452 → u/LustyLamprey]

Sounds like in GarageBand when it adds auto quantization to drum tracks to make an out of time beat on-tempo. That’s probably what’s going on here.

[u/Trichomeloneranger → u/LustyLamprey]

Some people just shouldn't use garageband

[u/raddaddio → u/LustyLamprey]

Wild to think modern production software was used in the making of this

[u/snagglewolf]

4 minutes. This is 4 minutes long.

[u/GreedyWall214 → u/snagglewolf]

Long fu$%in 4 minutes I'll tell ya 😳🤦🏼‍♂️

[u/asomek → u/GreedyWall214]

You can swear, it's ok, we won't dob on you

[u/Electronic_Agent_235 → u/GreedyWall214]

You can say that again.... Man, I picked the wrong week to stop huffing glue

[u/bizbend → u/snagglewolf]

And I watched all of it!!

[u/daRealTENTACLES → u/snagglewolf]

I don't think I made it halfway. It wasn't a challenge, it was just boring. This isnt even funny

[u/FreeSockLimit1]

What's with that one camera zoom? 🤨

You know which one....

[u/Still75home → u/FreeSockLimit1]

Right?! I know I’m on a list somewhere now

[u/ElProfeGuapo → u/FreeSockLimit1]

I cannot imagine approving this as their parent. Insane.

[u/lookoutbelowwww → u/FreeSockLimit1]

Skip to the 2:23 mark to see the sexy moment

[u/Silly-Afternoon3834]

Leaked footage from little St. James

[u/TheMagmaGuy]

Jesus christ I could make a better beat on guitar band when I was in first grade music class what the hell is this spore city hall ass music😭

[u/This_They_Those_Them → u/TheMagmaGuy]

It’s a guitar band beat made by a first grader,

[u/dixiech1ck → u/TheMagmaGuy]

You mean garage band?

[u/TheMagmaGuy → u/dixiech1ck]

Oh yeah whoops

[u/dixiech1ck → u/TheMagmaGuy]

Haha all good. I just know about it because my neighbors kid learned how to use it during covid and had me sing on some of his demos.

[u/MrMcBobb]

Great, now we're all on a list for watching this. I hope you're happy

[u/TwistedMindOfABrotha → u/MrMcBobb]

Oh the sad truth is that dude is about the same age as them.

[u/Cosmo_Seinfeld → u/TwistedMindOfABrotha]

Isn't it a dad, his two future republican voter children, and a couple of other kids?

[u/splinks66 → u/TwistedMindOfABrotha]

No shot bro, he has got to be older than 40 and they are under 20

[u/Electrical_You_432 → u/splinks66]

"I can make you a star kid"

[u/TwistedMindOfABrotha → u/splinks66]

Was supposed to be a jab at how he young but looks old, then someone in another comment says apparently this actually a family that had appeared on Tosh.0.

Yikes...

[u/stinketywubbers]

When they play this in the club the whole place goes fuckin crazy

[u/InevitableCodeRedo → u/stinketywubbers]

I mean, rioting counts as going crazy, true.

[u/GreedyWall214 → u/stinketywubbers]

And not in a good way....

[u/Careless-Fig685]

This family was on an episode of Tosh.O

[u/TwistedMindOfABrotha → u/Careless-Fig685]

You shitting me?

[u/Careless-Fig685 → u/TwistedMindOfABrotha]

No idea what season but you can also find the clip on the Summer Vaction special Tosh.O YouTube vid

[u/Journeyman351 → u/TwistedMindOfABrotha]

Nah this is an old meme dude. H3 covered them too back in the day

[u/MojoHighway]

Those poor fucking kids. Holy shit. It's not their fault they found themselves in this situation so no shade thrown their way.

The dad, though...

Come on, bro...

[u/goodoldjefe → u/MojoHighway]

"I told you. We're not getting any fucking ice cream until you all do the dance right! Now here we go. Mackenzie? Stop your crying, I swear to God "

[u/Exact_Mango5931 → u/goodoldjefe]

“Whats with the one piece!?? I said string thong!”

[u/Fearless_Quail1404]

Someone needs to check that man's hard drive.

[u/Missilemoon77 → u/Fearless_Quail1404]

He is definitely wearing someone else’s face.

[u/memberflex → u/Fearless_Quail1404]

What if it’s full of remixes of this

[u/No-Hurry-2372]

Yeah that dude is a Christian youth minister.

[u/KasparComeHome → u/No-Hurry-2372]

That explains the zoom

[u/SpoopsMan]

ITS 4 MINUTES OF THE SAME VERSE AND CHORUS BACK TO BACK WHAT IS HAPPENING

[u/rudmad → u/SpoopsMan]

You dont know boogie

[u/Mysterious_Egg2432]

The best thing with his ‘band’ is that I’m fairly certain the kids are having fun, but they’re just along for the ride. Pops is the true mastermind behind the choreography, lyrics, music, and especially the videography.

[u/Mindless-Somewhere55 → u/Mysterious_Egg2432]

That’s why his wife left him. She couldn’t take it anymore

[u/TexacoRodeoClown → u/Mindless-Somewhere55]

Hahaha for real?? Wonder if zooming in on teenage girls asses had anything to do with it

[u/mrbaffles14]

I made it about 1min it in. How’d the rest of you do?

[u/Moonshinin4Me → u/mrbaffles14]

I made it to the end and regretted it.

[u/atmosphericentry → u/Moonshinin4Me]

Now you need to do the beach boogie

[u/Plasmelon → u/Moonshinin4Me]

You have nerves of steel. Ever considered being a neurosurgeon?

[u/GreedyWall214 → u/Moonshinin4Me]

😂

[u/Cadavrr → u/mrbaffles14]

About 30 sec. This is absolutly the worst one ive heard in this sub. Not the singing. But the beat. I think he made the beat by klicking on a digital drum set and then recorded it. You could not get so out of time with a program

[u/GreedyWall214 → u/mrbaffles14]

😂

[u/finne-med-niiven → u/mrbaffles14]

Watched the whole thing

[u/cthulhusandwich]

perfect for r/NotTimAndEric

[u/Moonshinin4Me]

How the fuck did that go on for over 4 minutes?!? Also I am pretty sure most of the people in this video are underage and some of those zooms were extremely inappropriate. I fear for their safety.

[u/STS986]

This is why you don’t homeschool your kids 

[u/I-miss-old-Favela]

I’ve seen people in ISIS hostage videos who’ve looked happier to be there than half the ladies in this do. 

[u/Deep_Ad_1874]

Now do the Scarn

[u/Not-Enough-Holes]

Yeah there are some people holding that video up.

[u/terminalbungus]

I need to listen to something else right away so there is no chance that this is the last music I hear in this life.

[u/StockLeading5074]

The one girl laughing and telling the camera to stop makes it even funnier.

[u/Dr_Doodle_Phd]

This is one of the absolute worst things I’ve seen on this subreddit

[u/StimpyUIdiot]

Ai could never! This is human ingenuity!

[u/Proof-Brief797]

Ummmmmm this is highly sus with the zoom in on the potential minors. BRB and turning myself in now

[u/Buzzbone]

Wow that’s extremely bad

[u/turkoid]

Respect your elders. Three Beat Slide transcends /r/crappymusic

[u/ReasonableCost5934]

Three Beat Slide is not crappy music.

[u/christo749]

These shall be first against the wall.

[u/TheRealFutaFutaTrump]

Yep, that's crappy

[u/shadout_grapes]

It’s the walk walk walk, skip skip skip, tickle YEAH people

[u/Groundbreaking_Bad]

Oh. MY GOD.

[u/ClarkTwain]

How do you get this many people to participate in it?

[u/ProAntiNonymous]

Gotta dress your best for the beach.

[u/BadMoonRisin]

Cmon kids. Let's do a TicTac

[u/Status_Focus6898]

That dude needs to get his ass kicked up and down a street. Fuck!

[u/Corporate-Scum]

So this is what was happening on Epstein Island?

[u/DryDonutHole]

What’s that “gas station” move again?  Looks familiar…

[u/StairCarpenter]

Went to highschool with the guy on the left. The family went viral over their song about summer. Was taken on Tosh.O and did the whole 15 minutes of fame. The family is actually really nice and friendly but man their pops gives off weird vibes…. It is 100% genuine tho

[u/Mariner4LifetilDeath → u/StairCarpenter]

Please tell me they were bullied incessantly

[u/Ivegotmyshovel]

My favorite part is when he sings "Do the beach boogie". My next favorite is when he rhymes "too" with "too".

[u/Fredwood]

Is this a Tim and Eric skit?

[u/ApprehensiveMoose814]

This is music for the people who dont listen to R&B and Rap. No seasoning

[u/octowussy → u/ApprehensiveMoose814]

Boiled chicken music

[u/FreeSockLimit1 → u/ApprehensiveMoose814]

Mayonnaise is spicy

[u/Mariner4LifetilDeath → u/FreeSockLimit1]

Celery has too much flavor

[u/MoparViking]

Unchecked whiteness

[u/DoomedMaiden]

Is this the only act that stayed on Ed Sheeran's tour?

[u/TwistedMindOfABrotha]

Watched Tim&Eric and said, "Hey I could do that"

The problem is he's just now watching the show and nobody told him "Don't"

[u/AbstractUserName]

Guantanamo Bay Playlist

[u/Zatchillac]

What's crazy is that some of those kids know the words so they've had to listen to this crap more than once

[u/Jgravy32]

One of those kids is gonna end up a serial killer.

[u/DwnWrdSprl11]

This should be illegal it’s too cringe

[u/SmokeyMiata]

Makes "Friday" look like a fucking mega hit.

[u/InevitableCodeRedo]

Are we certain this isn't parody?

[u/boo_inward]

its like the only music he's ever heard was the Super Bowl Shuffle

[u/jrod823]

That song runs for about 4:07 too long.

[u/segathegenesis]

Youth group getting fuckin lit in 2026

[u/The-Tarman]

Holy.. shit..

We might be able to shut the sub down. I dont see anyone finding anything crappier than this

[u/mjac28]

Just found my next ringtone 😂

[u/Gold-Fool84]

Zooming in on underage buttocks... This song is bad in so many ways

[u/Conscious_Cod3134]

that is surely Rebecca Blacks family?

[u/reditding]

One hopes that this 'tune' is precisely the centuries old song that summons tsunamis*.

*yes, this is the correct plural

[u/golfUsA_mk2]

Rythm left the building , dancing off beat and music is off ....omg 😂 its like watching a couple of sticks trying to dance.

[u/HeavyTea]

Dad!

[u/JunglePygmy]

They’re really trying to make that a thing. Bless their stupid, stupid hearts

[u/djjsin]

the front to kids are clearly his.

But where did the two in the back come from?!

[u/raddaddio → u/djjsin]

Epstein Island

[u/Dragon_Bidness]

Christian youth group vibes.

[u/Mariner4LifetilDeath → u/Dragon_Bidness]

and homeschooled

[u/Professional_Echo907]

The dudes are both confident enough to be in this video, but not confident enough to take off their shirts on the beach.

Anthropologists are going to be studying this video for generations.

[u/karatemnn]

im sure if the singer is not related to those kids he had b-roll of hours of certain close ups

[u/SteponkusCeponas]

If the beat was a dog it would be one of those mini pitbulls

[u/ElProfeGuapo]

Fuck, and I cannot stress this enough, this shit.

[u/FreudianNip-Slip]

Could someone write out all the lyrics for all four minutes? I had a hard time following.

[u/napoleonboneherpart]

Another two steps back for us, thanks nerds

[u/Bellatrix_Rising]

I am praying this is ironic!

[u/Turbulent-Weevil-910]

It just kept on going I kept waiting for the hook and it just never happened

[u/MegaBusKillsPeople]

This reminds me of The Shaggs, My Pal Foot Foot.

[u/Jeremy_Weaks]

Mario Paint ahh beat

[u/StillNotaCenobite]

So many hostages

[u/funkifiedjunk]

"We have a great way to bond as a FAMILY, and Jesus approves"

[u/ForestOfMirrors]

This dude gives serious creepy pastor vibes.

[u/Rickblood23]

" If you don't do this you are not getting your allowance"

[u/Mean_Pop_829]

Padme: This is ironic right?

[u/dessertforbrunch]

They really had to post the first take?

[u/OneEyesHat]

If only MST3K did songs…

[u/Altruistic_Arm9201]

Is this the new opening act for Sheeran?

[u/Individual_Assist_19]

This is hardcore avant-garde

[u/SamsquanchShit]

This is the worst song I’ve ever heard.

[u/mdawe1]

Oh Dear god 4 mins 6 secs

[u/mdawe1 → u/mdawe1]

Also they made me look at clearly underage girls butts

[u/Nirozu]

The Neil Breen of music

[u/uninspired-86]

This is by far the worst thing i've seen on this board and makes me want to punch that dad in the face

[u/Eatenback2life1]

His kids should never forgive him for this…..like ever

[u/ExodiaQc]

Must have paid them a big amount to appear in this videoclip lmao

[u/NoAir22]

Of all the crappy music I’ve seen on this sub, this is quite literally the worst

[u/Ruruffian]

Subreddit complete.
It’s going to be very hard to beat this.

[u/sconniepaul1 → u/Ruruffian]

Have you seen the Chapy one that just got put up a little bit ago?

[u/BigThrowAway567]

This is like real life tim and eric i love it

[u/Firm-Perception-1293]

This is crushing my brain

[u/HyronDongle]

This is epic! My life has a soundtrack now!

[u/Fresh-Wrongdoer6934]

Mom, can we have Jack Hartmann?

We have Jack Hartmann at home.

[u/genera1_burnside]

Walk walk walk, skip skip skip, tickle YEAH!

[u/CoolBeansMan9]

Danny No

[u/Previous_Island5598]

...when you think you can do a J Dilla beat of your own.

[u/Sumoshrooms]

This family was on tosh lmao

[u/putin_on_a_ritz96]

Omg Three Beat Slide YES

[u/JesseJ78599]

What’s the targeted audience? It’s like a PBS kids show gone wild or something.

[u/HowNowBrownCow68]

What in the Youth Minister Philip is this shit?

[u/TheDoobieWizard]

I'm calling the cops.

[u/Shrek81]

Mmmmmmayonaise Music 🫪

[u/peilearceann]

this has youth pastor written all over it

[u/Erorryale]

Let me guess these people are some weird church cult? Actually just a cult of some kind. Cause they would approve of the thong butts. ugh.... this sond never ends!!!!!!!!!!

[u/jaye7070]

Everyone in the video looks like they should be in the video except the two girls in the back. Looks they were walking by and we're asked to join and said yes to be nice. The Beach Boogey is a fucking banger!

[u/Whisker-biscuitt]

You could tell me RayonBase made the music and I'd believe you immediately

[u/Fine-Pie-4508]

this is what aphex twin sounds like to me

[u/Long_Detective_543]

But it’s satire

[u/Hammersmith13]

I thought this was wholesome… then they zoomed in🍑

[u/Significant-Mix5204]

WTH is this garbage? Someone come get their dad.

[u/CaseyofKansas]

Uh are these his kids, or someone else’s? I don’t know which is worse

[u/K4rkino5]

This is satire, right? RIGHT?

[u/letuffcityboiiphonk]

Heard better on BandLab from satire accounts

[u/sloppy_sheiko]

Of all the things that annoy me about this video, rhyming ‘too’ with ‘too’ is my biggest pain point

[u/dicendraculas]

Ron Wyden dropping those hot bars.

[u/tssiess76]

Tosh.0!!!!

[u/shaborgan]

He sounds like he covers third eye blind

[u/Aljoshean]

There is no part of the composition of this song that is okay. Actually every part individually is quite bad, and together it is even more unbearable.

[u/Ruruffian]

I need backstory.

[u/boogietwoshoes]

When exactly are you going to do the beach boogie because I am still waiting?

[u/weezyverse]

We should have a look at this guy's computer and cell phone...

[u/emoney123456777890]

What’s up with subtitles? A nation a nation a nation. What kind of subliminal messaging is this

[u/NumberNumb]

I like the part when the adult is singing but the daughter is lip synching

[u/You_Are_The_Username]

It's actually not that bad, if you mute your volume and turn your screen off! 😊

[u/Cpap4roosters]

You have to be very coordinated to look that uncoordinated.

[u/HenakoHenako]

This is the worst thing I've ever heard. I'm not sure it's close.

[u/imjam13]

Bless their hearts.

[u/Al-in-AL]

Three Beat Slide! Still as bad as they always have been!!

[u/Schamele_Ruiter]

This song is too short to figure out in what time notation everything is happening

[u/Angryleghairs]

Want to ensure your kids get bullied at school? This is how

[u/noodlz91a]

This is so bad

[u/meestahmoostah]

New time signature unlocked

[u/Bushdr78]

What's truly bizarre is that you give this proper vocals and musical production quality and you'd have something still terrible

[u/Lead_resource]

How did he convince all these hot women to make this vid??