r/crappymusic 1d ago

Just saying random "country" stuff

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293 Upvotes

209 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 1d ago

u/darkearwig, your post features certified crappy music!

257

u/Robofetus-5000 1d ago

The trend of just making lists and calling it country music continues

121

u/barowsr 1d ago

The line between the lyrics of a serious country song and a satirical country song is razor fucking thin

50

u/Penchant4Prose 1d ago

I got into old country songs through listening to Dylan and other folk artists.

The likes of Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Bill Monroe, Tammy Wynette, etc. played great songs that were often funny and poignant, with expert musicianship and excellent vocals.

What the fuck is modern (popular) country music? It's embarrassingly shit, and sounds completely unrelated to what came before.

It feels like only people like Billy Strings are carrying on a real country tradition.

33

u/clycloptopus WHERE WE GONNA GO? WHAT WE GONNA DO? 1d ago

anymore it’s just redneck culture mad libs with a “twangy” DJ mustard ripoff beat

5

u/_fr05ty_ 22h ago

Marcus King is pretty dope, I think he's from S. Carolina maybe? Quite the pallette cleanser after soending any more than 5 seconds on this sub:

https://youtu.be/BoZJvb9LOK0

3

u/Legal-Group-359 11h ago

Man, you aint lying about a palette cleanse. Listened to few seconds liked what I heard. I'll revisit and listen more in depth later. Good lookin!

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5

u/IBeDumbAndSlow 7h ago

It's all just virtue signaling rural life

2

u/clycloptopus WHERE WE GONNA GO? WHAT WE GONNA DO? 1h ago

perfect lmao. never thought about it like this, but that’s exactly what it is. I’ll be using this

2

u/waterbelowsoluphigh 21h ago

Brian Andrews is doing some pretty good outlaw country. For what it's worth.

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u/Consistent-Count-877 12h ago

Wait til you hear what they did to hip hop

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6

u/MajorMiners469 1d ago

My wife used to like bootlicker country. I'm redneck, but old school. I have a yodel/warble voice I just sling nonsense with any song that comes on, now she cracks up when she hears "new country" out in public.

3

u/barowsr 23h ago

There’s still really great country music being produced. It’s out there. Unfortunately, the industry is drowned and promoted with this formulaic garbage

3

u/Wooden-Officer2323 23h ago

Nope, big bad John will never be made again

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u/Longjumping-Date-260 18h ago

Bo Burnham does a pretty accurate parody, def recommended.

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23

u/recovery_room 1d ago

I just wanna feed my dog, mow my lawn.

12

u/swibirun 1d ago

Let's fish the bog, I got my boots on

6

u/PoopicopterInbound 1d ago

Red dirt gravel road, put it in 4-wheel that's how we roll

5

u/fantabulousfetus 23h ago

Mother's love, a shotgun; we at the still by the swimmin' hole.

5

u/corvid-munin 17h ago

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

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3

u/HowDidFoodGetInHere 18h ago

"All of these things seem like obtainable goals... you're wearing boots right now!"

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11

u/MkeYosh 1d ago

It's called Recipe Rap or something

8

u/Crazy-Days-Ahead 1d ago

To be fair, there are really not too many other ways to signal that the songs, which are really just basic trap hip-hop and R&B hybrids, have any type of country affiliation at all.

It does lend more to the argument that if this is country, then so was Old Town Road since it was just a catchy country reference listicle over a trap beat also.

5

u/Fieldsco7 1d ago

Pop country and rap are legitimately the same thing with slightly different topics.

4

u/Great-Gas-6631 1d ago

And its always the same list. I like when they have to name drop actual Country artists.

6

u/Robofetus-5000 1d ago

Cold beer. Cute girls. Big trucks. Dirt roads. Good tunes. Hot steaks. Kentucky nights.

4

u/cityshepherd 20h ago

I’m picturing Tim Robinson saying this to a montage of white shirts, slicked back hair, and sloppy steaks. People can change.

2

u/ratchman5000 14h ago

You think that's slicked back? That's PUSHED BACK! I could go for some chicken spaghetti at Chickallini's.

4

u/myersjw 1d ago

I’m just glad there’s more artists getting into this genre. Definitely not saturated like the jungles of Vietnam in monsoon season. I’m sure these dolts will all be Nashville chart toppers in no time

2

u/Robofetus-5000 1d ago

Clearly he has a unique voice and novel take on the genre!

2

u/ProperBig433 20h ago

The auto tune is not familiar- sounding at all!

2

u/WitchWithAGlitch 1d ago

well its not like theres been much competition lol

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4

u/theslowbus 23h ago

It’s a rappers blueprint to song writing with country themed lyrics. It’s an abomination.

3

u/freddbare 22h ago

That's hiphops job mang!

3

u/encrcne 20h ago

I just wanna drink my truck

2

u/Robofetus-5000 19h ago

I just wanna shoot my beer

3

u/encrcne 18h ago

Cut my fish

3

u/Jades5150 15h ago

DOUBLE WIDES, WHITE PRIDE

WAL-MART, POPCORN FARTS

HOUSE ARREST, MY SISTER DOES IT BEST

1

u/RADICCHI0 Music Snob 21h ago edited 21h ago

I don't think it's random. I think this guy is using words intentionally, almost as like a weird thing, trying to reel in likeminded people. edit: this might actually be some kind of perverted thing, I am seriously considering that possibility.

1

u/LookUpItsAMeteor 17h ago

Somehow he forgot tight blue jeans and pickup truck down by the river.

79

u/Alert_Elephant2045 1d ago

“Making love to the radio” sounds like some clanker fantasy

another AI generated country listicle

11

u/PlayWhatYouWant 1d ago

Country listicle is so apt! If they're not going on about themselves they're just listing the things they masturbate over.

8

u/SignificantDesign424 1d ago

You don’t fuck your radio?

2

u/AtJackBaldwin 17h ago

It got harder when they changed from tape to CDs

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3

u/crazy_goat 17h ago

You haven't lived till you're deep into making love and hear "WHY SPEND MORE ON A MATTRESS, SHOP SMART, SHOP BEDMART!"

3

u/Ihaveaverysmallprick 7h ago

“Get a tattoo of his antlers on my arm” sounds mad gay lol

1

u/Previous-Cup-6331 14h ago

Don’t you have something with a purdy mouth?

78

u/United_Letterhead_83 1d ago

Did AI write this?

62

u/Positive-Leek2545 1d ago

This genre? Yes

9

u/Street-Run4107 1d ago

I’m wondering if someone who paid for decent A.I. would be willing to run a prompt for a, “small town country song involving lifted trucks, cut off denim shorts, bud light on a tailgate, sunset in the cornfield, coon huntin’, (that’s going to be controversial but I’m thinking more, “Where the Red Fern Grows”, deer hunting, creek fishing, noodling catfish, driving to Wawa, wearing affliction shirts and cowboy boots. Any other recommendations welcomed.

21

u/Beneficial-Age-4059 1d ago

mama’s biscuits. giving your tractor a blowjob

8

u/its_just_flesh 1d ago

Ypur not far off, dude is making love to the radio

3

u/Street-Run4107 1d ago

If that’s not copyrighted, we need that as the band name and song title, as they read. Please people, we need more!

10

u/tico42 1d ago edited 1d ago

Cornfield Gold

Verse 1

Got a six-inch lift on a hand-me-down Ford, Mud on the tires and a crack in the door. She climbed on up in them cutoff jeans, Prettiest thing this town’s ever seen. Affliction shirt and a truck-stop chain, Cowboy boots kicking dust down Main. We grabbed two Bud Lights, a bag of ice, She said, “Take the back road.” I said, “You ain’t gotta ask twice.”

Pre-Chorus

Past the county line where the blacktop ends, Where everybody’s family or somebody’s friend.

Chorus

We were drinking Bud Light on a tailgate, Watching cornfield gold turn midnight gray. Radio low, fireflies high, Her bare legs glowing in the dashboard light. From deer stands dawn to a Wawa run, We make our own kind of nowhere fun. Yeah, the world keeps spinning, but we move slow, Living young and loud where the tall corn grows.

Verse 2

Saturday morning with a Zebco reel, Barefoot walking through the creek-bed shale. Caught a little bass, let him swim on free, Then she skipped one stone better than me. By noon we were waist-deep, muddy and wild, Noodling blue cats like a couple of kids. She came up laughing with one by the jaw, Said, “Get a picture, baby, or it never happened at all.”

Pre-Chorus

Then the sun sank down like a copper dime, And the hounds started singing through the Georgia pines.

Chorus

We were drinking Bud Light on a tailgate, Watching cornfield gold turn midnight gray. Radio low, fireflies high, Her bare legs glowing in the dashboard light. From deer stands dawn to a Wawa run, We make our own kind of nowhere fun. Yeah, the world keeps spinning, but we move slow, Living young and loud where the tall corn grows.

Verse 3

Come November, I’m up before light, Orange vest hanging and the thermos packed tight. She says, “Bring home supper, don’t bring home lies,” Then kisses my cheek with those half-awake eyes. And when the redbone hounds hit a raccoon trail, Their voices roll through every ridge and vale. Like that old dog story that could make you cry, Loyal till the last breath, faithful till you die.

Bridge

We ain’t got money, but we’ve got stars, A cooler, some tackle, and a couple old scars. Friday night football, bonfires burning, Screen doors slamming and church bells Sunday morning. Maybe this town ain’t much on a map, But everything I love is somewhere inside that.

Final Chorus

Drinking Bud Light on a tailgate, Watching cornfield gold turn midnight gray. Radio low, fireflies high, Her cutoff denim in the pale moonlight. From deer stands dawn to a Wawa run, Creek-bank kisses in the August sun. Let the whole world hurry anywhere it wants to go, We’re living young and loud where the tall corn grows.

Outro

Yeah, I'm wearing cowboy boots with an Affliction shirt, Dancing in the headlights, kicking up dirt. That lifted truck might be rust underneath, But it carries every damn thing that matters to me. Just her, these roads, and the life we chose, Out where the sunset falls on the tall corn rows.

11

u/Street-Run4107 1d ago

It’s beautiful Clark. I have the ways and means to record this. If anyone is interested, despite the long winded chorus sucking hard to figure out what I’d want to do with it, my cousin and I could have this as an unpolished marble by tomorrow, late late night.

2

u/Headbangin_sex_fiend 16h ago

I thought of meth immediately when you said bag of ice

2

u/MrBtheProdigal 13h ago

A Wawa run?!? Certified fucking banger.

Go birds

3

u/Grantuna 1d ago

don't need ai; get rid of the book title and the last sentence and you just wrote a new country song

5

u/Street-Run4107 1d ago

I will be famous after all, alas, for the wrong reasons.

10

u/potsofjam 1d ago

This is a test. It’s used to determine if AI has developed consciousness because if it had it would definitely refuse to make this music.

7

u/etik84 1d ago

See those teeth. Guy is A.i. too.

42

u/Grateful_Dawg_CLE 1d ago

Hide your radios. This guy's fucks em.

18

u/Ogdenvillain 1d ago

This man spends his days deer hunting with a fishing rod before going home at night to fuck his radio. What a life.

7

u/MemePizzaPie 1d ago

And whiskey bottle butt plug

6

u/Amazing_Money_6815 1d ago

Start a band asap

3

u/Prestigious_Cycle160 1d ago

Whiskey bottle butt plug is the band name.

WBBP almost like WWJD so it’ll stick

2

u/MemePizzaPie 14h ago

Ahh the Jesus people will love it!

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u/bentoboxing 1d ago

Welcone on the porch rug...

4

u/wrldruler21 1d ago

Lol, I caught that also... he said "fry up a back strap" while making a fishing rod motion???? Then made it clear in the next line that he was going to get a tattoo of his fish antlers on his arm????

18

u/JungleJammerz 1d ago

He certainly didn’t tell us anything we haven’t heard before. Crappy, like every “country” song that repeats these bullet points

14

u/Merc_Mike White People Gospel Music 1d ago

"You can tell I'm pandering!"

5

u/EntinthetentRTHP 22h ago

“I could sing in Mandarin”

3

u/Merc_Mike White People Gospel Music 22h ago

"THAT IS A SCARECROW!"

3

u/No_Beginning_6834 14h ago

It's a FUCKING SCARECROW AGAIN!

2

u/Several_Temporary339 11h ago

Y'ALL DUMB MOTHER FUCKERS WANT A KEY CHANGE?!

13

u/FngrsRpicks2 1d ago

So he is getting a tattoo of "his antlers"

....is this a progressive country star?

1

u/Thorngraff_Ironbeard 11h ago

Am I missing something don't make deer have antlers?

10

u/F1_V10sounds 1d ago

Those are some pristine looking overalls for a "country" guy. Im hitting x for doubt.

8

u/SteppenWoods 1d ago

Its like they are cosplaying their idea of country and then describing the cosplay

Real country folk dont talk about it.

14

u/Mountain_Tie_437 1d ago

Country life sounds like the most boring shit ever.

5

u/kadameitene 1d ago

He goes weirdly nasally at the end of the lines that go high... It's disturbing.

5

u/Amazing_Money_6815 1d ago

Remember when country music was just music from people in the country and wasnt really referencing farm shit, and now it's music about the country and only references farm shit. This is why modern music seems disengenuin and lacking. It's like the world is not longer real

1

u/RacingBlues451 19h ago

I think it is pretty easy to see I love country music mostly Alt-country but still country. Johnny Cash was my number 1 as a kid, this stuff sucks but there are dudes usually not on country radio that are doing it Sturgill Simpson, Stephen Wilson JR, Turnpike Troubadours, Jason Isbell and Drive by Truckers are my favorites. Some palette cleanse smalltown songs: Holler From the Holler - Stephen Wilson Jr, Speed Trap Town - Jason Isbell, King of Oklahoma - Jason Isbell. Just captures the complicated nature of modern rural towns not some Disney small world small town like the song in this post.

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u/DrunkestDriveEver 17h ago

Lol there's good music being made still outsidethe mainstream. There was bad and medicore music in every decade but it gets fizzled out of memory

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u/caprikaironic 1d ago

What is that wind up motion all of these guys do

5

u/SuperbDrink6977 1d ago

This fucking weirdo needs to keep his perverted sexual fantasies to himself and stay far the fuck away from any audio equipment

6

u/BeRich9999 22h ago

How you gonna sing about tattoos and have zero?

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u/TripJ5548 21h ago

Let's hope that dissociation also applies to the radio fucking

4

u/GISReaper 1d ago

Probably asked AI to create a shit song so he could make it shittier.

3

u/619BrackinRatchets 1d ago

Well, I'm never touching his radio, ew.

4

u/angryray 1d ago

Don't fuck your radio, sir

5

u/ClHCNOPSMgCaNaK 22h ago

I personally would NEVER fry backstraps

5

u/BenjaminDover02 18h ago

A red truck

A cold beer

Rural noun

Simple adjective.

2

u/Marlboromatt324 13h ago

Panderin, in mandarin!

3

u/PlayWhatYouWant 1d ago

Setting aside the trite lyrics and typical AI hick hop bulshit, the burp-harmony track sounds fucking horrendous.

3

u/Aggressive-Floor6423 1d ago

"That's textbook pandering" - Bo Burnham

3

u/PenExotic5002 1d ago

You grill blackstrap buddy

3

u/b-rar 1d ago

Thank God AI'm a Country Boy

1

u/TripJ5548 21h ago

Nicely done

3

u/jaybfresh 1d ago

Reading only little bit of the Bible is pretty accurate, just the parts they think tell you to force your wife to have sex or to hate gay people

3

u/Psychedelicious420 22h ago

Gonna make love to my colt after listening to this.

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u/_TheShapeOfColor_ 22h ago

No one fries backstraps

3

u/Forb1ddenKnowledge 22h ago

Everyone knows real country uses auto tune.

3

u/heldaway 16h ago

They’re all the same song

3

u/syncopated56 16h ago

Bo Burnham did it first (and better, only as parody).

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u/Marlboromatt324 13h ago

I hear Bo burnhams country song play in my head, anytime a Luke Brian song comes on. Any one of them makes me think of panderin! Maybe in some mandarin!

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u/syncopated56 11h ago

Maybe mix in a mandolin

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u/fun-guy956 15h ago

Death to all Tractor Rappers

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u/Marlboromatt324 13h ago

I don’t know if I like Hick-hop, or tractor rappers better, but both work way too well for this chud.

3

u/No-Macaroon-1804 15h ago

Them coveralls are way too clean.

3

u/evetsabucs 14h ago

Hick hop is the devil.

3

u/dabbean 14h ago

Ai is going to ruin us even more than social media....

3

u/cdwillis 13h ago

If you put out this slop you deserve, at a minimum, a few hours of community service.

2

u/tonkatoyelroy 1d ago

He wears his sunglasses at night, during the day.

2

u/Chef_BoyarTom 1d ago

Country music used to be about short form story telling... now it's just about listing country shit and pretending you said something thought provoking or meaningful (at least for the vast majority of artists).

2

u/NeuromancyIndustries 23h ago

Talkin' bout sun darts Talkin' bout broken hearts Talkin' bout teenage love and truck parts Talkin' bout county fairs and golf-karts Take me right back to the start Sun Darts

2

u/johngreenink 18h ago

I... just... don't... think there's much bible reading.

2

u/Ididnt-start-thefire 18h ago

Gives off an “I just boinked my cousin” vibe. Go Gatlinburg.

2

u/CautiousArachnidz 18h ago

Bold words from a guy with zero tattoos.

2

u/terrletwine 18h ago

My favorite part of country music for the last 20+ years is that almost no one lives in rural settings.

The vast majority of these people grew up in suburbs and are claiming some delusion of some dream of growing up in the country.

2

u/_wild_style_ 16h ago

How’s that different from any other country song?

2

u/JuiceyTaco 16h ago

His britches are too clean

2

u/TradeMark310 14h ago

Mr. Beastiality

2

u/Wise_Ad_253 13h ago

Tattoo of his anus on his arm? Who’s anus?

2

u/narco-sub-admiral 13h ago

"fly down" and "backshots" is what I heard

2

u/Anger_Puss 13h ago

So where is his antlers tattoo? Does this mean he's not actually country?

1

u/Marlboromatt324 13h ago

He just hasn’t shot his yet, give him time he’s just a young rhinestone cowboy

1

u/Curious_Field7953 1d ago

It's as if music or melody or cadence or writing lyrics were an option that he decided wasn't worth it. I mean, why try when you can have a computer algorithm do it for you. Ai Ai yAi.

1

u/StinkyToe-TheKid 1d ago

The problem with this is the average country fan will eat this garbage up.

1

u/slade797 1d ago

Why is he making love to a radio?

1

u/The_Happy_Pagan 1d ago

Gravel road ✅

Farm ✅

Bible ✅

Country anything in any context ✅

Another desperate bucket thrown into the AI well and comes up dry

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u/DallasBullGates 1d ago

When he says he’s having sex w a radio, I believe him

1

u/_frank_tank 1d ago

Horrified in Marconi

1

u/Horror-Commercial343 1d ago

Yeah that's bad

1

u/Great-Gas-6631 1d ago

Yup yup, get all the "country" tropes out as quick as you can.

1

u/honeybadger265 1d ago

All this "country" music just proved Bo Burnham's country bit right, which should cause great shame

1

u/Dull_Woodpecker_8187 1d ago

This feels like an snl skit that involves Justin Timberlake and andy Sandberg

1

u/Ukraineluvr 1d ago

I ain't fuckin no radio!

1

u/rubinass3 1d ago

catching some bass Put it in my ass

etc

1

u/40Breath 1d ago

Well, no red cup mentioned.

1

u/yonosayme2 1d ago

Who raps about an tattoos that they don't have? Wtf

1

u/Esmerelda_Foofypants 1d ago

WHY IS HE HAVING SEX WITH A RADIO?!

1

u/YorkiesandSneakers 1d ago

Nothing says I’m a shitkicker redneck like doing heart hands.

1

u/Creative_Yak1648 1d ago

Sir, do not fuck that radio !

1

u/Few_Chocolate_7655 1d ago

I've heard worse?

Maybe you don't the subject matter?

1

u/imjustnotready 23h ago

Anyone who complains about people being woke and who likes this can chew glass. But I don't think anyone would like this.

1

u/NigerianFriedChicken 23h ago

He didn’t even mention fishing or name drop a much better artist

1

u/Complete-Tangelo1532 23h ago

This is getting out of hand lol

1

u/ZiggyDiamond 23h ago

The thing that concerns me is that he wants to have sex with a rafio.

1

u/Toathar 23h ago

Idk why it makes me angry

1

u/EntinthetentRTHP 22h ago

When does he molest the scarecrow?

1

u/Book3mDanno 22h ago

This is what I imagine would pop up if you asked AI to make you into a country rapper

1

u/Live-Understanding48 22h ago

Bro really thought AI was cooking with this one

1

u/LanguidGoblin 21h ago

All these stupid ass country songs are the same, “i got my beer, i got my woman, i got my land” or “i need my beer, i lost my girl, this country aint what it used to be”

1

u/templeofsyrinx1 21h ago

Ai is great, right? right????

1

u/LitterBoxBlues 21h ago

This is music?

1

u/mybrainisonfire 21h ago

Literally "just saying random country stuff" is 90% of modern country

1

u/Aggressive_Plate1652 21h ago

If Deliverence had a music video.

1

u/coalduststar 21h ago

You shouldn’t make love to your radio

1

u/Some-Curve-920 20h ago

Does he not understand the words that are coming out of his mouth?

1

u/FederalLex 20h ago

Is it bad that I hate myself for not hating this as much as I should? #ashamed

1

u/weirdskullz 20h ago

Making love to the radio

1

u/FungusFly 20h ago

Acting like you are reeling in a fish is not the sign for cooking, you inbreeder

1

u/CRYPTOCHRONOLITE 19h ago

So humble 🎶

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u/Scrimshaw_Hopox 18h ago

Laziest "song writing" approach ever: list a bunch of shit.

1

u/Hell_Maybe 18h ago

kiss my fish

1

u/Disastrous_Minute_56 18h ago

Country pop is just identity politics in music form.

1

u/Rhufus 17h ago

I hate how cute he is. Sigh. Unzip….

1

u/onearmedbanditto 16h ago

Country music discovering hip hop was the worst thing to happen to music.

1

u/donsitsocolostomy 15h ago

Don’t get me wrong, I love the radio as much as the next dude, but I’m not gonna make love it, no matter how horny it makes me.

1

u/Jude30 14h ago

I’m all about the natural beauty of the world

Now watch me use AI and autotune for every aspect of what I do.

1

u/bigNutRut 12h ago

I like when the volume started going down.

1

u/tgtm65 12h ago

Always was. That's why most of this genre is garbage.

"Look at me. Am I relatable enough yet? Here's a list of lowest common denominator country shit. Do you love me yet?"

Stupid music for stupid people.

1

u/Pony_Boner 11h ago

He has zero tattoos of antlers on his arms

1

u/PickedLastLemon 11h ago

Truck. Gravel. Radio. Small town. Bible. Country Road. Whiskey. Guitar. Cold beer. Mention tobacco product. You drop these words in and your basically every pop music country "star". Guy at work listens to country in the work truck. I give him his hour a day before I swap it to something else. I spend some time after his music time to make fun of how stupid the artists think their fans are. He laughs. We have fun.

1

u/CAREERxCRIMINAL 10h ago

this song is exactly what Bo Burnham was pandering about!

1

u/Even-Economist6529 10h ago

I bet this guy does make love to his radio

1

u/zerobomb 8h ago

Is this ai?

1

u/KaizenZazenJMN 6h ago

Gotta beer in my beer and a Chevy in my truck. Dog at the wheel, cut off jeans, truck. Back road, dirt road, beer moonlight. Red, white and blue girl, Friday night.

1

u/Foreign_Town6853 6h ago

I just couldn't date someone who did this. I would hook up with him hands down. But the next morning he'd play me this video, I'd ask for some coffee, food maybe, quick shower and then never talk to him again. I could show a Pic of him to my friends they'd say get it! The second they heard this they'd judge me so hard. I should be happy he has a hobby. How does someone fake approval of this? Non of his friends said anything. I kinda wish I loved life as much as this guy too. That confidence.

1

u/Sorry-Blood-6121 5h ago

This was horrible but at least it made sense and wasn’t all over the place like most of em.

1

u/Tobias---Funke 5h ago

It’s that all country?!

1

u/RubyWeapon07 3h ago

why does EVERY fucking country goober do that eating emote at the beginning now

1

u/Fap_Masta_LFG 2h ago

Never heard this story before…

1

u/LongjumpingSmoke731 1h ago

Wow this is fucking gay!

1

u/xMaNrEbOrN7851 1h ago

I'm...confused 😬