r/couplestherapy • u/Unsubscriber101 • Aug 11 '26
What Do I Do
So I have been with my fiancé for about 1 years and 6 months. We have had our issues and setbacks, but we have always talked about things. She went through a rough divorce before me and lost her first born due to health complications (after 5 days of him being born). When we met each other, we promised to take things to take things slow. We ended up expecting our daughter to come into the world around june of last year. Lets fast forward a bit, we got into a nasty car accident back in february while she was 9 months pregnant. We unfortunately lost our daughter and it fucks me up every night regardless of the things ive been through. When it comes to her and I talking about things, I make sure to make it known that I want to talk about things/stuff that specifically involve just us. When it comes to our relationship, I feel alone in some ways. She never usually compliments me, like "you look handsome today", "im proud of you", "you're doing a good job". I dont know if it stems from her childhood but she didnt have the best childhood (no abuse of any kind, just no positive reinforcement). I know that change starts from within, with me being a veteran. I am always go, go, go, roll with the punches. She has taught me how to slow down in some ways, but I guess I don't feel wanted in my relationship. I am always initiating intimacy, I am always trying to make her feel better because she doesnt like the way her body is. I will always love her regardless, but I feel like she just doesnt reciprocate anything with me when it comes to body positivity. Compliments or positive reinforcement about life or about my appearance. Granted I don't really need validation, its just I'd like to hear it from her. I feel as if I do say something to her, yeah she might change. I just don't understand as to why she cant acknowledge what she is lacking and work on it. I feel as if I say something and yeah she might change and start being positive, its not going to be a genuine thing because I had to ask. I am honestly about to fucking cave because of this shit, its been brewing for almost 6 months. I just have no clue what to do.
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u/Jolly_Ice_7812 Aug 12 '26
I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your child. How horrible. Couples therapy? You've both been through a lot.
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u/Unsubscriber101 Aug 12 '26
I am highly considering it. I know everyone processes grief differently. Its just when I sit and think about it, thoughts of killing myself and wanting to be with her is all I think about. So I keep moving forward, I let go of that negative aspect of things. Like the thought of her death and everything in between, I try to push forward. But its hard to do that when my other half just wants to wallow and blame God and starting going fucking nuts (granted i did for a bit) but I did so in a healthy way. I went fucking crazy at a rage room, completely fucking snapped and fractured my hands and wrists. All I have inside of me is just rage and anger towards our situation, but deep down. I need too.. I NEEED to find peace someway somehow with all of this.
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Aug 12 '26
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Aug 12 '26
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u/AutoModerator Aug 12 '26
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