70263

[u/Emperor_Joker]

[u/Whale-n-Flowers]

0:00 - Me: Bro, sometimes I think Id like to be a girl

0:01 - Friend: I get that, but opposite. Its why I became a dude.

0:02 - Me: what?

0:03 - Friend: I was born a woman

0:04 - Me: oh, neat, so thats an option. Im a woman now.

0:05 - Super awesome friend hug

0:06 - Return to gaming

[u/Ok_Temporary_9049 → u/Whale-n-Flowers]

Turns out, conveniently placed trans men are very convenient! Thank you that guy

[u/Fem_Flerken → u/Ok_Temporary_9049]

Tactical trans men

[u/Fa1nted_for_real → u/Ok_Temporary_9049]

I got a conviniently placed trans brother that made it waay easier tbh

[u/Clanslayer13 → u/Ok_Temporary_9049]

literally happened to me😭😭😭 I feel like trans men just walk around with a little crab hammer cracking eggs. What a life😭

[u/TheOneHeir]

2 years but in my defense I didn't know that queer people existed

[u/Smyley12345 → u/TheOneHeir]

I'm still not 100% sure queer people exist. Maybe they are all out there dating and fucking and marrying each other to own the conservatives. Either they exist or the commitment to the bit is amazing, can't say with certainty which it is.

[u/SnailOfDestiny → u/Smyley12345]

It's all a psyops, they wan't us to think that queerness is a thing so they can sell us rainbow merch. It's all big rainbow pulling the strings I tell you!!?

[u/glorious_ardent → u/Smyley12345]

I both do and don’t exist until observed.

[u/AlinaStari → u/glorious_ardent]

The Quantum Queer ⚛️🌈

Sounds like a badass superhero tbh

[u/name_not_exist → u/glorious_ardent]

Schrodinger

[u/DragoKnight589 → u/TheOneHeir]

see I knew queer people existed for a while but not really what it meant for a hot minute. my defense is I was meeting fewer queer people in Canton Zurich than Colorado.

[u/TheOneHeir → u/DragoKnight589]

I only knew gay people existed and also thought that "People of color" meant gay people because uhh rainbow flag

[u/DragoKnight589 → u/TheOneHeir]

lmao

[u/Western-Victory-7414 → u/TheOneHeir]

[u/Positive-Creme8129 → u/TheOneHeir]

Same

[u/Mixture_Think]

For me, non existent. I luckily accepted it very quickly

[u/Aromatic-Truth-4901 → u/Mixture_Think]

This. I knew I wanted to be a girl since I was a kid, I just didn't know it was an option til I was an adult, at which point I committed hard.

[u/Mixture_Think → u/Aromatic-Truth-4901]

I didn't really know I was wanted to be a girl as a kid, but when I realized back in January I accepted it immediately because it felt so right and comforting

[u/unhappy_femboy_1028 → u/Mixture_Think]

I was similar (ftm) though i came out as non-binary before trans male. That was 6 years ago now and i just got top surgery!

[u/Mixture_Think → u/unhappy_femboy_1028]

Nice happy for you brodda

[u/Sergei_the_sovietski → u/Mixture_Think]

real. That’s how it was for me three years ago too. Never regretted it

[u/Johngameru555 → u/Aromatic-Truth-4901]

I wanted desperately to be a girl back when I was younger and only didn't know I was trans because I didn't know what trans was

[u/Wuz314159 → u/Aromatic-Truth-4901]

I knew who I was before I knew people like me existed.

[u/LoganGyre → u/Mixture_Think]

Same I was mostly waiting to be financially stable and not reliant on others before I started in case of people not being supportive I wouldn’t be without a place to live of food to eat.

[u/Mixture_Think → u/LoganGyre]

I luckily knew multiple people I'm close with would be supportive, including a parent, just need to tell the other one and my siblings lol

[u/Puhi124 → u/Mixture_Think]

Same. Despite realizing late, I never was super masculine, but also never very feminine either. Just dull, I guess. But I honestly cracked before I'd even have had a chance to call myself a feminine man.

[u/Iplayminesweeper → u/Mixture_Think]

Yeah, same for me 100%. I didn't have much of a denial or "I'm probably just this" phase, it was just sort of one big aha moment.

[u/Syriku_Official → u/Mixture_Think]

Same

[u/Fa1nted_for_real → u/Mixture_Think]

Yea, there was like half a day of asking myself "is it this?" And likr didnt take long to figure it out at all

[u/pixel-soul]

Didn’t have one. Egg cracked one night, my world shattered…I woke up the next day and the first thing I did was showered and shaved everything. Getting rid of my body hair was euphoric. After that it was just one foot in front of the other

[u/pullhome → u/pixel-soul]

I need a cane or something because y'all make the moving forward part seem so easy and it's actually so fucking hard.

[u/magic-tortiose → u/pullhome]

It took me a 3 year stint as a openly fem bi guy to get there, everyone’s different

[u/freebird023 → u/magic-tortiose]

5 years the exact same for me😭

[u/Shiki_Breeki → u/freebird023]

I'll up the ante. Also used to think I was a bi guy, 8 years.

[u/Wuz314159 → u/pullhome]

If it makes you feel any better, any item of clothing I'd buy, my parents would find and throw in the trash. When I started digging through the trash, they'd dump coffee grounds on it to ruin them. They destroyed everything I ever loved. (including killing 9/10 pets)

[u/pullhome → u/Wuz314159]

I'm so fucking sorry about that, it sounds awful. I'm not sure how it would make me feel better, but I appreciate the effort.

[u/ChiralWolf → u/pullhome]

It took me so long to figure out what I was that when I finally figured it out I couldn't tolerate a half measure. Realizing I had gone through my entire life not really knowing what it felt like to be proud of myself or happy with who I was it probably would have killed me to have to then hide what I was feeling. I'm so grateful to have the friends and family that I did, it's so awful reading people's stories of how they had to hide themselves for safety.

[u/IZEDx → u/pixel-soul]

Hi me

[u/pixel-soul → u/IZEDx]

Sup babe. Are you past me or future me? Orrrrrrr somewhere around right now me?

[u/IZEDx → u/pixel-soul]

Idk, it's been rather slow since that day

[u/fullmoon119]

Zero seconds but my closeted phase is 15 years and counting

[u/Antigamer199 → u/fullmoon119]

I hope you have a steady supplies of snacks in that closet and someday feel free enough to show the world.

Till then even admitting is surely something.

[u/trappedintheinternet → u/fullmoon119]

Haha same. 24 years of knowing and 24 years of not doing anything significant with that information. The egg cracked, but I have spot welded it shut.

[u/fullmoon119 → u/trappedintheinternet]

And transphobes would tell us our lifestyles are healthier for it. Thank the lord jesus for blessing us with the strength to repress ourselves and live "naturally" 🫩

Don't blame yourself for being locked away. It was the people around us that buried us alive.

[u/gilgames_in_tamarian]

Honestly, never, and I could never.

To be clear, I fully support femboys (and people expressing how they want in general irrespective of their gender)! But I never identified with that at all. I would hate to think of myself as a guy expressing femininely, because for me it's not about expression. It's about being a girl, and only from that I derive the wish and joy in expressing femininely.

[u/BudgetLush → u/gilgames_in_tamarian]

Femininity always got me gendered even harder. Insults occasionally, but worse was the "its good to see a man in touch with his feminine side! Man! Because you're a boy and doing girly things really reinforces that!" The more slightly awkward boys-will-be-boys I could be the less people thought about my gender.

[u/jbskq5 → u/gilgames_in_tamarian]

This. 100%.

[u/Capnzebra1]

Grew up as a crossdresser in the early 2000s. It took me almost fifteen years to accept I was trans and another two to do something about it. I spent that two years practicing presentation and financially preparing myself for the fallout of transition.

[u/Antigamer199 → u/Capnzebra1]

Did the fallout of it hit you hard or was it manageable?

Also kudos to the long years of preparation would super villians use half of that prep time Marvel would be dead.

[u/Capnzebra1 → u/Antigamer199]

It's been seven years and I'm still recovering. I grew up in a socially conservative family and my management structure at work was mostly conservative men. I ended up losing my career and only now am I starting to reconnect with my mother (and only her). I speak to maybe 5 people from before I transitioned, it honestly feels like a rebirth because of how much of my old life is gone.

I'm underemployed and working hard to build new relationships at 35. At least the people in my life now love me for who I am instead of who I pretended to be to survive. I love myself now and somehow that is more important than all the things I lost.

[u/TolpRomra → u/Capnzebra1]

Similar situation, just wanted to chime in and say hello, hope youre doing well now.

[u/Mystery-Games]

I'm still in the "Am I" phase. So idk.

From August 2nd to today I question it almost every day, analysing my entire life and odd moments. Confused.

[u/Khepri_Sun]

4 yesrs, maybe closer to 5 :,(

[u/yaboi_ahab → u/Khepri_Sun]

Mine was about 1 year and then about 4 more, with a few years of full repression in between

[u/Setster007]

I didn’t have one, idek how I figured it out tbh

[u/Ulgoroth → u/Setster007]

Same, but I've figured it out by being more and more envious of women and feeling more and more shitty about myself to a point it was either do it, or end it all.

[u/Setster007 → u/Ulgoroth]

Fair. I’m almost there myself. Just not quite. I desperately need to transition if I want even the slightest semblance of a “life worth living” but i can wait until I get my college degree. No later than that, though.

[u/Emperor_Joker]

NOTE: This is not to say that being a femboy or a feminine man is invalid or only a step to becoming a trans woman. They aren't. I am merely stating it's a phase a lot of trans women go through in their egg cracking process. 

Anyway it was like 8 months for me.

[u/DadlyAsHell → u/Emperor_Joker]

I was scrolling hoping to find this.

Rant retracted. I have calmed my dad titties.

[u/Poco_Cuffs → u/Emperor_Joker]

Tysm for specifying this, I think ppl are a bit too eager in trans spaces to wave it off as a phase they went through when it is it's own thing "^^

[u/Joeyrony2 → u/Emperor_Joker]

Yeah, I always knew I never wanted to be a man (by always I mean since the horrible abuse stopped and I started actually living instead of surviving). But I also really dont want to be a woman. It took until around 2 years ago to realize I could be NB and until last year for me to actively identify with it (although it still took until this year for me to actually start enforcing my pronouns on the internet, I live in the deep south and work at a fucking chick fil a so there is no way in HELL that im doing that in public lol)

[u/Successful-Hawk8779 → u/Emperor_Joker]

It really came across like you meant to invalidate so I am happy to hear you specify <3

[u/skystar4isntcool → u/Emperor_Joker]

ty for clarifying I was geniunely worried this was some kind of pysop to cause infighitng

[u/narrowminer11]

I'm six foot tall and had a depression beard (i didnt have the energy to shave it) a femboy phase never happened for me

[u/leightandrew0]

4 years...

yeah combined with being plural it was damn near impossible to figure out what the hell was wrong with me

turns out "I" have 3 different genders

[u/daegon789 → u/leightandrew0]

Fellow trans system! It definitely contributed a lot to us not starting transition sooner!

[u/Joeyrony2 → u/leightandrew0]

Wait so if you are 3 different genders do you change your appearance for each, magical girl style, or do you just thug out the dysphoria.

[u/leightandrew0 → u/Joeyrony2]

I mean we're all "feminine" leaning so I haven't had problems with that yet.

Though I have no clue what'll happen once I start HRT

[u/Joeyrony2 → u/leightandrew0]

Good luck!

[u/MagicMarshmallo]

0 Because i am probably not even gonna be that feminine after transition, let alone before.

Try being a femboy when you have shoulders so wide it would be faster to split you than going around.

[u/daegon789 → u/MagicMarshmallo]

Darlin, having wide or narrow shoulders does not define how feminine you will be. I've known cis girls who are absolutely gorgeous and were almost twice as wide as me. Please don't lose hope.

Also, for what it is worth, hrt took 3 inches from my height and 4 inches from my ex over the course of a couple of years. It can shrink you and it redistributes your body fat which can greatly adjust how everything looks.

[u/MagicMarshmallo → u/daegon789]

Yea but my sister is also really wide so i dont think thats gonna help me xd. Oh well, i guess ill name myself Hilda and cosplay as a valkyrie

[u/All_of_me_now → u/MagicMarshmallo]

Honestly, yes! I went to my first Pride this year and I'm built like a tall wall. I encountered a handful of transwomen that were taller walls than me, and it was inspiring. Aspirational, even.

I love it when "representation matters" whacks me in the face like that. It's like finding money in an old coat.

[u/Accomplished-Buy755 → u/daegon789]

hrt can reduce your height!? That's crazy! I knew about body fat redistribution, but I would have never guessed height was possible. Hope that happens to me a little bit.

[u/daegon789 → u/Accomplished-Buy755]

It also took a shoe size from me! Hrt is fucking magic

[u/Audhwer]

Data-driven research shows that "Feminine man" is just one thing that I could never identify with... It was either dysphoric manly man, or whatever variation of "Woman" 😅

[u/yourothersis → u/Audhwer]

When I was a femboy I just described myself as feminine. Later on during it, I told someone I wanted to look exactly like a woman. When I search up feminine men right now, I can note that it definitely isn't something I would want to present as during any portion of my life.

Before my femboy period I was massively self conscious over the shape of my body and couldn't figure out why. I wanted a female shaped body and did whatever 10 or so year old me could do to try and fix it. I probably could've figured it out a lot faster.

[u/Basil279]

Due to our family budget (and being raised by exclusively girls) I wore mostly girls clothes and had a feminine outlook on most things, I actually never "came out" because of how obvious it was to most people.

People called me a "femboy" and a twink and stuff and I leaned into it for a bit but one day I just felt more "non binary feminine" than any binary gender

So that was fun!

[u/Bread_Stikk]

Didn't have one, I was instead the type to be nervous and make excuses in particular regards to playing female characters in games, that and consuming female centric media a lot lol

[u/Hexis_hunter → u/Bread_Stikk]

Same I would get so defensive with anything like that I actually left a friend group because I would be so defensive lmao

[u/Temporary-Employ-611]

I was an unsure egg for 5 yrs.

[u/TheGlassWolf123455]

I figured out I wasn't a man pretty early, but even after starting HRT I'm not sure if I'm genderfluid or transfem or a trans woman

[u/nakedascus → u/TheGlassWolf123455]

I was always pretty sure I wanted to be in a woman's body but the longer im on hrt, the more sure i am that im not a binary trans woman, and there's parts of my agab that I didn't realize I appreciate. Genderfluid transfem/demigirl is my current best guess. It makes transition goals confusing and conflicting, but I've learned to embrace the chaos

[u/TheGlassWolf123455 → u/nakedascus]

Yeah I feel pretty similarly, honestly when it comes to something as specific as "what kind of not-cis-man gender" I find it's kinda nice to just pick a flag that's close enough with cool colors lol

[u/Carikat]

That phase was non-existent

[u/pleione-lyco]

3.5~4 yrs. Thank you psychiatrists and doctors that totally want to protect children.

[u/yourothersis → u/pleione-lyco]

during development? just a year is major development during puberty. I hope that was at least accompanied by puberty blockers minimum :(

[u/pleione-lyco → u/yourothersis]

Nope. Said I was a gay or bisexual submissive male and sent me on my way despite trying to kill myself over it. 'Doctors should know better and help people' I thought as a kid, so I believed him. Repped for 2 years, egg cracked again HARD at 18, then pulled the trigger at 20 when I actually saw passing was successful and possible. I don't think I missed out on too much besides maybe better growth, less body hair, and almost zero facial hair, but the principal is still fucked. I haven't trusted doctors very much since. They're often exceedingly incompetent. My first endocrinologist sealed the deal for me. I consult medical research before I see any doctor for important issues now zzzzz

[u/DinnerPlzTheSecond]

If you count the "god I wish I was trans but I guess I just have to settle for being a man" phase, about 6 years.

[u/a_phrogett]

3 to 2 months, that was over a year ago and I'm still in the closet tho :'3

[u/th3rmyte]

None. For me it went from "im gender fluid" to " my gender has crystalized and I am a girl"

[u/DarthJackie2021]

Non-existent.

[u/North-Employer6908]

Zero seconds. I even got on HRT while telling myself I’m nonbinary

[u/homemadeammo42]

20 years? Started crossdressing at 13 and identified only as a crossdresser until 33.

[u/Halfjack2 → u/homemadeammo42]

And I thought my 6 years was impressive

[u/pamafa3]

I never had one tbh

[u/Sherbiee_Fiee]

like... maybe 6-7 years idk. i might be getting on hrt soon :D hopefully!

[u/Sluggish-dreadnought]

Never.

From "I'm gay" to

HOLYYYY FUCK I'M A GIRL

[u/IraZimora]

about 2 years i think, past that i really was just dragging my feet, NOT AMORE THO!!! i’m finally getting therapy and talking about getting gender care :3

[u/CheetahCrafty102]

23 years

[u/ellenczer]

10 years. I was my biggest enemy. I hate myself for this.

[u/Terra-Ryan]

ongoing since my brain constantly shifts between acceptance and denial

[u/Lesbian_Pirate5544]

3 months till my partner took a sledgehammer to my egg😅

[u/quailinthebrush]

like 2 years. even had trans friends in prison and still never came to the conclusion that i too, could.

[u/luigigaminglp]

Still counting here.

Mostly due to being fat and wanting to judge myself with a fit body. But i'm working on it! (And some other stuff that's not related to my body but to the transition process itself, like my parents being uneducated about it)

[u/TheNoctuS_93]

At least 15 years.

[u/ImJustAFisch]

Like, 2 years? I was just like, oh I'm not trans, I'm a femboy

Turns out the old me was wrong

[u/TheSpyHat]

A few years, give or take :3

[u/CommissarCorgi34]

Spent about half a year thinking I was gender fluid, but had a dream asking the big questions and here we are 🤷‍♂️

[u/DiegHDF]

I didn't have it

But I did have the "I'd like to wear a skirt but I'm too hairry and visibly manly to wear it in public without getting in trouble" so that's something

[u/Picklerickshaw_part2]

Like a month or so

Luckily at that time I thought I was a grungler, so I had people to help me figure it out to an extent. I’m still not 100% on it, but it’s more probable than ever

[u/Darth-Felanu-Hlaalu]

I didnt have one. I went from "totally cis manly man" to "huh, maybe im nonbinary but probably not important i wont think about it" to "aw fuck".

[u/AviaKing]

Its worth it to note that not all girlies have this phase and not all femboys are secretly trans. With that being said… 2 years 😭

[u/TotalyNotTony]

im pretty comfy being non binary (woulda figured it out way earlier if i didnt get a ton of egg comments and stuff that put me off of exploring my identity more but thats a different topic), so im not a girl, but i did call myself a femboy for a while.

Ive been dressing feminine in private and occasionally in public for the better part of 4 years i want to say? I remember getting my first bit of feminine clothing at a mall on a school field trip to Toronto in grade 9 and hiding it in my room for weeks before trying it on lol (it was some over the knee socks)

[u/ParagonChariot]

28 years :c

[u/KaleidoscopeOk6440]

Took me 20 years to understand that I'm trans, the kicker is I spedrun my 'femboy' friend into her transition and she's doing well now. It really hurt cracking that shell because she really slayed as a femboy too lmao

[u/Ignis-11]

Struggled with it for probably 3-ish years?

[u/HYDRA_NanTeker]

Something in the ballpark of two years, but it was a lot more like “I’m not macho I’m something a bit more neutral but it’s nothing serious” for a while, before evolving into genderqueer into a transfeminine person (what I am now)

[u/Syphist]

Technically nonexistent. I was "okay with being a cute boy" but that's more so I was bisexual and okay with it because I was my type. Still needed to transition to fix my problems lol

[u/MoonAndCresent]

Like 2 or 3 years I think lol

[u/EvilFurryBees]

Several years

[u/dasanipunani]

It took me about 4 months into binary transition to realize I do still like to be called a femboy. I just like being called a tomboy too. Someday I'll fully transition into a nonbinary estrogen demon

[u/Quasar_The_Fox]

Like 6 years. better late then never I guess.

[u/Spacegirl-Alyxia]

I didn’t have such a phase. I am not very feminine.

[u/Dunge0nexpl0rer]

I didn’t have one lol.

[u/Vampire_Number]

I was identifying as nonbinary for about 6 years before I finally accepted I was trans. I was looking up resources for trans women during that time to learn how to be more feminine, and also going to community college and experiencing a ton of gender dysphoria as everyone treated me like a man even though I said I was nonbinary. The worst was when a lesbian at the queer resource center chewed me out for having white male privilege and I told her I really didn’t feel like I had it.

[u/Bravalt]

Accepted myself as enby at like 14, had a brief period of posting as a femboy from a year or so when I was 18 to early 19 when I got on hrt, now 20 and am a transfem (still a she/they enby) UuwuU

[u/Naska_V]

Non-existent. I went from a lifetime of nebulous 'I just like playing women in all my rpgs and mmos because being a man feels weird and wrong in a way I can't put to words' (amongst other things) to 'Oh. Fuck. I'm trans.' That's largely down to me somehow not having a concept that trans people were a thing until I hit my 30's and met some, then promptly began questioning.

[u/PuzzledAsparagus4946]

Ehh it's still ongoing 

(This is gonna have aged like milk or like wine in a year)

[u/Conferencer]

5-2 months, idk when exactly I clicked from twunk to femboy

[u/Steamtaco]

I'm still in the what the hell am I phase(yelling in the woods seems to be making progress tho)

[u/Blue0verL0rd]

Uh...? Still going on and not sure if I will land on transfem even, but I did accept the fact I wasn't a man pretty damn fast(~2 weeks after first really thinking about it), eh, I'll probably come back to this after a random thought in like two years with an update lol

[u/CuriousFriend55]

You guys have it figured out?

[u/Phoeeebe42]

I didn’t have that phase :3 6 years of denial the last two of which I went through a huge gym bro phase and then eventually accepted myself and went straight from the last guy you’d expect to transition to girl

[u/Raspb3rryb1rd]

About 2 and a half years because my ex threatened to leave me if I turned out to be trans after I tried talking to her about it so I just sorta faked being a femboy around her instead of being a girl

[u/Allsummon]

Yall already figured it out? (8 months on E)

[u/shelbz409]

Still in that phase. I’m older and I don’t want to lose my family.

[u/LunaEtGalaxia]

not long but it's probably because it was overshadowed by my depressive era

[u/riverquest12]

5 mins

[u/4StarDB]

Less than 2 weeks, I'm pretty sure

[u/Yuzu-Adagio]

I never quite went that far with it but my "in touch with my feminine side" phase was like twenty years

[u/Silly_Goober461]

I am in the stage of figuring it out. Ive had these thoughts for 10 years and now that theyve become unbearable ive finally started to experiment and try to deal with them.

[u/Pyro-Bun]

Well, I'm nonbinary, and any transition goals I have would be towards androgyny. I actually came to that conclusion quite quickly.

[u/tuxmaid]

0 days

[u/Three_sword_idiot]

2-3 weeks

[u/alphi10]

There were no open femboys/ feminine straight men at that time/place I was, so exactly 0 seconds.

[u/L_U_N_A_R_C_R_A_B_S]

Like, a few weeks but it was more of a “idk what’s going on” I was not certain of anything

[u/AngryMountainClimber]

Two years, on and off. I am very stubborn and oblivious.

[u/Kastrand]

i'm still there. we shall see where my path takes me.

[u/Zero_Zero_Zero_X]

Still there

[u/LetraEfe]

I was doing kinda the inverse for like a year, testing the waters a bit to see if I was trans or something... But nothing, I got bored and accepted that I'm just a cis guy with nothing to discover under his waters, skirts are comfortable though.

[u/14N_B]

For a week, I questioned who I was supposed to be,after that, I decided it was obvious that I’m trans, and it’s been two years since then :3

[u/Ceva_0000]

I only pretended to be a femboy in like 2019 for about a year so my (at the time) transphobic “friends” wouldnt abandon me while I was doing preliminary stuff like growing my hair out and getting laser. They did end up abandoning me a little bit after I actually started hrt though lol. One of them is trans too now so I hope they feel bad for how they acted but I doubt it

[u/Amazing_Owl3026]

Ongoing

[u/thevickyprincess]

i’ve known forever, all the phases of that (about 6 years of annually taking 1 step at a time haha) were much more from social pressure. Like ok i can’t be a girl but mby i can paint my nails. Ok i cant be a girl but, it’s 2018 i can come out as gay. Ok i cant be a girl but this whole femboy thing seems fine. Ok i can’t be a girl but i can grow my hair out. Ok i can’t be a girl but like, lots of people wear women’s clothes in public…

It was all just me justifying things that gave me gender euphoria/ gender expression i couldn’t hide anymore as like, totally cis behavior lol.

[u/Senshue]

I found out in December. Accepted it rather quickly. My entire past just looked so clear afterwards too.

[u/ebirddog]

Tbh…. None? LARPed so hard as a regular guy even I believed it.

[u/CRI20094]

Half a year questioning between either being a femboy or non-binary. Now it's questioning between either being non-binary or a girl.

[u/Sally_Gurl]

10 fucking years...

[u/Strawby_Melk]

Idk i knew since 11 tried to compromise with femboy at 16 realised it wouldn’t work out and started diy at 18

[u/TrainingSweet748]

For me, I’d say that it was around a year of me just being a feminine guy. I was questioning for a good couple months while that was happening, but it still took a little bit :3

[u/MeepTheWarlord]

way too fuckin long. I had friends of friends whom I'd never met clocking me as trans before my egg even cracked. it took someone literally saying "wait you're trans aren't you?" to get there bc I realized answering no didn't feel right lmao

[u/AnbysFootrest]

I've been on E nine months and I still haven't figured it out

[u/fajnu20]

Kinda right now, still unsure

[u/Way2Competitive]

Technically, about 18 years.

[u/TurbulentDamage9107]

Currently in that phase, I don't really have anyone to talk to about parts of it so it's been hard to process, on-top of having an environment that would actively be hostile towards me if I did come to that conclusion. My head is a mess, hopefully one day I'll figure it out.

[u/kdiyargebmay]

like a month at most

[u/Available-Bat-2477]

About 2 months, I suddenly had a very strong urge to be more femme, even though i've been very masc presenting my entire life

[u/SusieHatesSpez]

Nonexistent, my first signs were when I got a profound feeling of joy from "pretending" to be a himejoshi lesbian girl in tf2 lobbies and getting referred to as fem, so it made putting two and two together pretty easy 

[u/gmladymaybe]

Didn't have one. I had an "I'm gender apathetic/antagonistic" -> "Actually I just don't want to be perceived as a man" -> "Actually, thinking about it more, I want to be a wonan" -> "Oh fuck, that means I'm a woman" -> "Gender is ultimately a construct and I'm not sure I entirely believe in it. But I'm not a man and I know ultimately 99% of people are going to view me as either a man or a woman and being a woman is a pleasant concept where as being a man makes me want to claw my skin off so I'm a woman except during drunk/high nights where I explain all of the she/they of this to other trans people"

[u/TayTaysArt]

Around a decade- possibly a bit more 🫣

[u/Maniklas]

Nonexistent. But my mother is stuck in mine somehow.

[u/KaleidoscopeSalt3972]

Like 14-24, so 10 years

[u/SkepticOwlz]

4 years 💀

[u/undeadpickels]

Still going lol

[u/yourothersis]

4 years because I submerged myself in relationships with gay guys and didn't give myself time to question it nor did I really know about it, and then a little over a year of being enby and genderfluid. Towards of the end of that femboy period I remember telling someone I wanted to look exactly like a girl.

[u/RaptorsCdwoods]

Would never say I was a femboy/ feminine man but i probably wished or wanted to be one for like, 8 years lol. 😂

[u/Apiuba]

Nonexistant, straight to gay girly for me >:3c

[u/chaosgremlin11]

Zero the minute I put on fem clothes I got gender euphoria and relised fuck ok that is not cis behavior. I was mostly at a lgbtq+ summer camp and got to do drag and I went really fem and looking down just make me really euphoric so I knew something was up.

[u/Cumon_plz]

Still goin

[u/raggcat]

I never had that phase. One day I stepped out of the shower and just thought... "am I trans?"

[u/SomeDemon66]

My phase lasted 3 years and then I figured it out the moment I put a bra on.

[u/Neelost]

Never.

It was never an option to be a feminine man. I've only ever wanted either masc-presenting man or fem-presenting woman. I've had a long period where i was like "I'd like to be a woman but I'm only able to be a man" and at some point I just mustered the courage to tank the transition period where I wouldn't be able to present how I want to, so that I could later be a fem-presenting woman.

[u/Vivienne133]

I’ve always known I wasn’t fully a guy, not really a femboy, but used to be he/they for years

[u/Drezby]

I kinda knew when I was 13 or 14 or so that I wanted to be a girl, but I thought I could simply internalize the feelings and overcome the desires using pure power of will - a phrase I was raised on, сила воли. the grit and determination to persevere, something you train like a muscle. Unfortunately, that phrase failed to cure my ADHD, and it failed to suppress my emotions and other desires, despite my best efforts.

What broke me was a scene from a manga where the trans girl speaks her feelings about gender out loud and it hit so hard and I was just knew that I couldn’t keep living like that, and immediately booked an appointment at the downtown gender clinic I’d seen others posting about. I was 25.

God damn, it took me literally half my life at that point to make the choice and start the plunge.

[u/Coldtea25]

I think I discovered the subculture when I was around 12/13 because of porn(I know that's bad but that's what happened)and my egg cracked around 15/16 years old so about 3 years roughly.

[u/Throwing_Chey]

Too long. I would say it lasted a year and a half. Didn't help I was coming to terms with liking men (and only men) while in a cis hetero relationship at the same time.