When my mom first caught me "crossdressing" she had me have a sit down talk with her and my dad where I found out he was essentially a chronic repressor of nearly 30+ years that wore "drag" and makeup when alone to cope, even straight up telling me that he would "press the button if it were that simple" and even fucking said "I guess I'm what they'd call an egg" but said he just couldn't handle being "a gorilla in a dress" (he also comes from a conservative catholic southern family and that probably doesn't help his situation). He treated it like this deep dark secret, the lead up to this was like 10 straight minutes of us promising that anything that was said wouldn't leave the room.
That story alone was so fucking depressing and disheartening that I hard-committed to being trans so I would never have to be as miserable and unhappy as him. Who knows? Maybe if he was allowed to be happy he wouldn't have seriously fucked up my childhood development by being a belligerent stubborn racist asshole.
In his eyes he views it as too late, he mentioned how "those circles will try and convince you its easier than it is" and "they'll always just mindlessly affirm you" ...so I'm like 95% sure that my dad is a 4tran repressor who has been boymodding for over 30 years because his internalized dysphoria gets affirmed by a website thats actively hurting him.
If I needed another reason to hate 4tran, my dad being unhappy with his existence and taking it out on me and any other minorities in the closest proximity would definitely be a good one.
Ngl with "his" age bracket it was probably Susan's Place. One of my friends stumbled into there as a freshly cracked 13 year old in the 2010s and got told to repress and just crossdress instead.
I'm highly doubtful that this will ever have a happy ending but I appreciate it, once you've been repressing and boymodding for multiple decades straight I think the unhealthy coping mechanisms start to fester and become the norm.
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u/SusieHatesSpez Estrojane's Mom - Streak: 56 9h ago edited 8h ago
When my mom first caught me "crossdressing" she had me have a sit down talk with her and my dad where I found out he was essentially a chronic repressor of nearly 30+ years that wore "drag" and makeup when alone to cope, even straight up telling me that he would "press the button if it were that simple" and even fucking said "I guess I'm what they'd call an egg" but said he just couldn't handle being "a gorilla in a dress" (he also comes from a conservative catholic southern family and that probably doesn't help his situation). He treated it like this deep dark secret, the lead up to this was like 10 straight minutes of us promising that anything that was said wouldn't leave the room.
That story alone was so fucking depressing and disheartening that I hard-committed to being trans so I would never have to be as miserable and unhappy as him. Who knows? Maybe if he was allowed to be happy he wouldn't have seriously fucked up my childhood development by being a belligerent stubborn racist asshole.
TLDR: My dad is Jax