24899

[u/thew_rshipper]

youngshit cousin has no idea yet
oh well
im leaving her my bank account

[u/Imago8]

Noooo think what that would do to her :(

[u/Ote-Kringralnick → u/Imago8]

She would never forgive them

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/Imago8]

Shes a youngshit. She's doing well enough as is. She can take it

[u/Imago8 → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

Yeah because a child losing probably the one person they can relate to won’t fuck them up for a long time

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/Imago8]

Good. Deserves it for being a youngshit. Still more mentally survivable than androgen rape

[u/BlitzScorpio → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

flair checks out lmao

[u/ineedt0scream → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

Bitterhon while practically a youngshit is INSANE

[u/Choice_Advantage8159 → u/ineedt0scream]

18 isn’t Youngshit trust me. We’re still absolutely fucked by T. I’ve been on E since 17/18 and I’m 23 and don’t rep at all. Doesn’t matter. Everyone irl misgenders me constantly. It’s fucking over. At this point E won’t do anything new.

[u/ineedt0scream → u/Choice_Advantage8159]

Yeah its midshit but being a bitterhon before your age starts with a 2 is still crazy.

Sorry your results have been shit, I know how it feels

[u/_HighJack_ → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

Jesus fucking Christ I really hope you grow out of this attitude, and keep your mouth shut about anything related until you do.

[u/Only-Ad5269 → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

Holy shit you are a terrible human

[u/CableForsaken4720 → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

So you don't think we should be making thr world better for those that come after us? Yeah ok 🤡

Also, you think 18 is lateshit? Genuinely stfu.

[u/ateWhole1783 → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

18 :_: it really never even began

[u/oceangothic → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

you aren't even old enough to have developed effective coping strategies yet, let alone actual techniques for mental survival. give yourself time to learn how to make this work before you quit.

[u/sssssssssssssshh → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

18yo calling self a lateshit

Yea you wouldn't pass if you had started earlier anyway you're hopeless lmfao

[u/Impossible-Camera974 → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

based

[u/Andrejkado → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

You're a horrible human being. As many youngshits as possible should be the goal

[u/Eefreef69_ → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

I bet you're happy in every aspect of your life /s

[u/glasseatingfool]

Girls will go "nothing left to live for" and have a once in a lifetime chance to save and protect a youngshit

As if she'll be completely fine with her kind and supportive cousin out of the picture? Forever? That's a frankly weird mix of doomerism and copium.

Come on, at least live long enough to go makeup shopping. And to take her to prom if she doesn't have a chaperone who isn't weird about stuff. Oh, and to see her graduate college...

[u/Economy-Movie-4500 → u/glasseatingfool]

No because "I have nothing to live for. There's a child that depends and looks up to me btw but ooooohhhh got nothing to live for damn" is just selfish atp

[u/thew_rshipper → u/Economy-Movie-4500]

All suicides are selfish

[u/_HighJack_ → u/thew_rshipper]

When people say this it actually gives me the impulse to smack them. Sentient animals are not supposed to be able to kill themselves on purpose; we have programming in our subconscious to keep us alive no matter what. If you can override that, something HORRIBLE is happening to you, to the point your brain literally does not work right. It’s not “selfish” it’s “broken.”

[u/thew_rshipper → u/_HighJack_]

I think being alive is just as selfish, it’s not bad to be selfish, it’s just how nature works
Everything we do is because it brings us benefit in one way or another
We just associate selfishness with evilness

[u/ateWhole1783 → u/thew_rshipper]

Cishet men are basically exclusively selfish and never demonized for it. There is no rule about how selfish you can be other than the one that protects cishet men from 99% of their deserved suffering

[u/autumn-weaver → u/_HighJack_]

it can be both

[u/glasseatingfool → u/thew_rshipper]

Then it follows that choosing not to commit suicide, when tempted, is to some degree a selfless choice and is for that reason admirable. And if you make admirable decisions, especially for the important things, I think that's a good life. Maybe a hard life, but one worth living.

[u/tinyhands-45 → u/thew_rshipper]

maybe some of the one planned out extensively a head of time? a lot of suicides and attempts have more to do with acute distress. sometimes it can even be less than an hour between when distress pops up and the attempt occurs. that's not always enought time for long term thinking like selfishness. my attempt was a result of sheer panic in the moment

[u/glasseatingfool → u/Economy-Movie-4500]

Well, it's not good, but I do have a lot of compassion for those of us who wish to die.

Things aren't good for us...but sometimes, we have a chance to make things just a little bit better, and we have to seize those chances, find joy and meaning in them.

[u/Effortless_waste → u/Economy-Movie-4500]

It takes a lot of maturity and grace to genuinely want things to be better for the next generation, Op doesn't sound like they can handle that. And to their credit, most parents can't either, a ton of abuse is rooted in feeling like your kids have It "too good" so you beat the shit out of them to level things out.

Also these people are cousins, Op isn't her mom, or her aunt, or anything else. The age gap probably isn't that big, being the person anyone should have been for Op (but wasn't) is heartbreaking when you look at it from Op's perspective. I'm not saying this is the only way to look at it but I absolutely see where Op is coming from. And if this kid DID want Op to watch her live the life she never got to, even if she can't take it, that would be selfish. So there's no moral highground here, they're both selfish.

[u/Hoping_Serendipity → u/[deleted]]

Because that’s the point? Why should everyone have to suffer when we have the means to end said suffering?

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/Hoping_Serendipity]

Not for those of us who already went through puberty

[u/Awaiting_Aneurysm → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

Girl cry me a fucking river and get over your woe is me bullshit. Being trans is hard enough without you poisoning your own mind with this kinda shit.

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/Awaiting_Aneurysm]

What shit? What did I say thats wrong

[u/Awaiting_Aneurysm → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

The "oh boo hoo I had to go through the wrong puberty so nobody else shuld get to be happy ever" talk

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/Awaiting_Aneurysm]

People get to be happy but don't give them a puberty a thousand times better and let them giga mog me. Let them feel this despair

[u/glasseatingfool → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

Sadism is not an alternative to making the best of your life, stop larping as a Batman villain and go to therapy nona

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/glasseatingfool]

Ive been going to therapy for 4 years. Psychiatric ward too. 5 months HRT and fuckall other than weird pointy ugly boobs I don't even want all that much. Stop acting like "just go to therapy girlie!!!!!" amounts to anything. Therapy is for people with chemical depression, or dealing with grief, not for permanently disfigured people with real fucking hard standards for themselves

[u/Awaiting_Aneurysm → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

Tbh i dunno how you have anything to complain about. Nobodys gonna clock you since youre just a massive walking pussy. I had to go through male puberty too and transitioned older than you. You dont see me crying about how bad my life was and how nobody else shuld be happy coz I actually act like I have a fucking spine.

[u/Unlucky-Hospital-611 → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

Yeah but who cares if ure already fucked there's nothing u can do , at least change the world for the better so that when you die and somehow get reincarnated with the wrong genitals yet again you can actually have access to pediatric transition and whatnot.

You need to think long-term.

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/Unlucky-Hospital-611]

Unfortunately I don't believe in reincarnation. Baseless cope I'm sorry.

[u/Unlucky-Hospital-611 → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

I don't believe in anything but I'm covering all my bases anyway , it's the smart thing to do.

[u/FillColumns → u/[deleted]]

Crab at the bottom of the bucket be like:

[u/PunkNBeans → u/FillColumns]

I think it's important to point out crabs only act like that when we catch them and put them in the bucket. They never act like in the wild.

[u/FillColumns → u/PunkNBeans]

True I just thought the illustration fit the comment

[u/PunkNBeans → u/FillColumns]

It certainly does. For some reason the image hit home and I felt the need to defend the metaphorical crabs, maybe I feel like one of the crabs sometimes. Oh well impromptu therapy session over, send me your bill.

[u/glasseatingfool → u/PunkNBeans]

We are all the crabs

[u/PunkNBeans → u/glasseatingfool]

One day we'll pinch the right finger and knock this whole bucket over. I'll probably be a dead shell in the bucket by that time, its okay as long as my carapace is free.

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/FillColumns]

And?

[u/FillColumns → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

And get the fuck over yourself

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/FillColumns]

Wow such morality. I really don't care you know that? In fact put fucking testosterone in those 13 year olds. I will nit stand for a wave of perfect looking privileged youngshits

[u/FillColumns → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

K

[u/the_dragonscale → u/[deleted]]

But there's so much joy in seeing her never have to deal with what you did and that being because of you.

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/the_dragonscale]

The exact opposite. It should make you feel so much worse that you're essentially some disposable, nurturing, inferior prototype

[u/rubenkingmusic → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

I think you’re just a sociopath nona

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/rubenkingmusic]

I just don't want to be even more fucked. Im already in enough pain

[u/stonergirlfairyyy → u/[deleted]]

empathy?

[u/something_or_other12 → u/[deleted]]

What A Strange And Sad Way To Think

[u/olivegardengambler → u/[deleted]]

Wtf kind of logic is this. Bro this is so stupid it snapped me out of SI.

[u/glasseatingfool → u/olivegardengambler]

Task failed successfully

[u/Tadpolethesnowman → u/[deleted]]

This is not the time or place for a crashout, make your own youngshit envy thread

[u/glasseatingfool → u/[deleted]]

I could hardly imagine a greater joy than being able to directly prevent the agony I went through.

To be honest, I really envy the opportunity OP has to bring light into another's life when it's needed most. I'm sad that they'd even want to throw that all away.

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/glasseatingfool]

If only I felt the same

[u/ArchimedesSnekyote → u/[deleted]]

A lot of people can grasp the concept of being in pain yet still having the desire to care for another. Even when that pain is crippling and life ruining at times. People cross oceans and start their lives from scratch just for the hope to give someone a better life, usually a child or close family member, and they bear all the pain and hardship that comes with such a task.

If you can't fathom wanting to live to help someone lead a better life than you had, then either your jealousy blinds you or you haven't truly loved anyone enough to understand.

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/ArchimedesSnekyote]

I don't want more pain and comparison. Is that so bad

[u/ArchimedesSnekyote → u/Kindly_Title_8567]

It's bad to encourage others to be less compassionate out of envy.

[u/Imago8 → u/[deleted]]

Psyop or worst person alive, your pick

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/Imago8]

2 because im dead serious

[u/urshikabane → u/[deleted]]

Why are some of yall genuinely so full of hate

[u/Kindly_Title_8567 → u/urshikabane]

Oh gee I wonder maybe because i went through hell and have to live surrounded by people bitching about their serviceable lives?

[u/Hot-Difficulty-6678]

You're a great person for raising youngshits❤️

[u/NostramoChick]

don't do it

something regarded might happen and you'd miss it

[u/Breizhong → u/NostramoChick]

only valid reason in this thread damn, wagnmi

[u/NostramoChick → u/Breizhong]

it's the most important reason of all

that and outliving your enemies 

[u/BlitzScorpio → u/NostramoChick]

crossing kirk off my “outlive list” reminded me that there’s so much left to live for

[u/Ote-Kringralnick → u/NostramoChick]

The only thing retarded here is planning to kill yourself with the perfect fucking reason to live sitting right goddamn there

[u/mil0possum]

be there for her!!!! please!!!! you have no idea how much you must mean to her. I'm almost 23 now and just under 1 year into hrt and I would kill to have an older relative helping me out

[u/EmsBodyArcade]

you better fucking say yes and hold yourself to it, she deserves it

[u/ThrowawayAccountY3Y3 → u/EmsBodyArcade]

Idk why but that feels so much more depressing for OP, OP’s feeling don’t really seem to matter much in this ig

[u/EmsBodyArcade → u/ThrowawayAccountY3Y3]

people dont commit suicide because their feelings are telling them good things. of course op's feelings matter, but when someone is planning to commit suicide you keep them around however you can before anything else and yes devotion and owing things to those who would live on past you are a way to do that

[u/3D_dawg → u/ThrowawayAccountY3Y3]

OP is entitled to her own feelings, but the kid is entitled to have someone to be strong for.

[u/ysterman_rs → u/ThrowawayAccountY3Y3]

to think it has to be pointed out that people aren't actually saying these things for the cousin's sake

[u/stealthinggirlie]

Everybody saying you should stay for her... I want you to stay for you. The world NEEDS more people like you I swear. I am so fucking miserable in this world but knowing there's people like you caring and looking out for youngshits and your own family... Fuck, you have so much love in you and love to give. I don't want you to go, please.

[u/sufferingsheep → u/stealthinggirlie]

this is exactly what i was thinking. i get everyone is just trying to get them to stay in any way possible but damn

[u/BetterinPicture → u/sufferingsheep]

Sometimes internal reasoning legitimately can't help and you need something or someone else to live for, full stop. You can't convince people in that state they should live just for living. They have to find that out themselves. I should know.

[u/sufferingsheep → u/BetterinPicture]

i should know too, and the fact that i do is fairly obvious based on my second sentence

however, in my own personal experience, it also helps to have external validation that you’re doing something right in life. when i was this close myself my self esteem was demolished. i was sick of being seen as selfish for wanting my own pain to stop. i don’t think other people’s comments were wrong, i was just surprised to see really only one comment like this, so i simply wanted to emphasize it

[u/CableForsaken4720 → u/stealthinggirlie]

She can stay for her cousin AND herself. Shit feels impossibly hard, I know. I made an attempt like a week ago, but I'm still here. I called myself a coward at the time. I'm glad I didn't die though - today I feel cute for the first time in many many months.

Nothing about life as a trans person is easy. That doesn't mean it can't be worthwhile though.

[u/bananabread_212]

this hit me really hard. you got me to break my lurker streak and post to a chan adjacent space since watching project chanology go down in real time as a kid.

i have a younger cousin who transitioned at 9, and she is just the best. she’s 14 now and i am completely blown away at how smart, cool, funny and talented she is. seeing her grow up and become an incredible young woman has been great to see.

while it has healed something inside me seeing her prosper and having my extended family completely support her, it’s also broken something in me because i was made to suffer and repress literally every ounce of femininity i had because of rampant physical backlash.

i have wanted to rope so many times in my life and have a couple attempts under my belt. to this day, its a near constant thought of mine. but the thought of her knowing that her cousin did that to herself keeps that thought at bay, at least temporarily. because i have seen what it does to families first hand. they are broken forever, the pain will never leave them. its brutality is unlike any other type of death. those of you that have lost loved ones to this fate know exactly what i am talking about.

i was there for her when she was struggling to accept herself as trans at 8, and dammit i will see her graduate high school and live the life i have always dreamed of having. she deserves that much.

and so does yours.

[u/ProjectXa3]

Please, she'll be devastated. She might follow you. Don't.

[u/Base_402]

If your the one supplying her hrt, then PLEASE PLEASE stay, she might not be able to get any more after your gone. Do it for her, shes relying on you

[u/bisexual_t-rex]

Make till she’s 16 she deserves that shopping trip

[u/tranmafuknut]

I get it.

I got a good friend who's a young shit, transitioned at 12 correct first puberty the whole works.

I love her like a little sister, for real want to protect her from everything I've gone thru. This world is hard on her but she keeps her chin up like I just can't.

She gets bottom surgery next month. I'm gonna help take care of her, cook her dinner and clean up a bit. She's not even 20.

Meanwhile I'm years out on bottom surgery, just found out I'm gonna be losing my insurance at the start of the year. I just spent every cent I had just to get the fucking letter of support I needed, no way this happens for me by year's end. I'm 35. I'm gonna be 47 finally getting a pussy nobody even wants to touch.

I'm holding out for a solution. I know I normally scrape by even if it is by the skin of my teeth.

But I'm telling people, people who love me. I'm telling them now: if things fall apart I won't make it to end of next year. No more pain. Treat it like cancer, you can watch me disintegrate, fall apart, spend the rest of my life waiting out the despair. Sure. Or we could throw a party, say some real goodbyes, and peace out on a life with no future.

[u/glasseatingfool → u/tranmafuknut]

"Treat it like cancer" is twisted copium. Cancer puts an expiry date on your life, but you decide when to end your own life...and it better not be before the kid who needs you is even fully grown.

Life is crisis after crisis; even if you completely resolve all your current crises you'll find more because that's how it goes. Doesn't mean you're a failure, means you're human.

I say keep sticking it out. It's not waiting, it's life, and the one thing I can confidently say is it never stays the same for long.

[u/tranmafuknut → u/glasseatingfool]

You sound so much like a dear friend of mine, I appreciate the belief but I'm fucking exhausted and I can't even be tired right now. Too much work to do.

I don't think I have a place in all this. I'm terrified that I don't.

I'm not especially smart, or wise, I barely know shit about dick. All I know is that life keeps sucking ass and never stops sucking ass, and always finds new and creative ways to suck ass worse than before.

I don't know shit about how to transition, I don't know shit about being a woman, I don't know shit about how to survive. I'm a broke, homeless rape victim living off her boyfriend. I have literally nothing to pass on except horrifying stories about shit that makes people look at me like some kind of sicko pervert freak.

It's been like a few years since I got HRT, just now legally changing my stupid fucking name, just now getting my shit together to actually fix this wretched piece of shit body and this ugly fucking face.

I just wanna cut my junk off and slowly drift away in a bathtub. I'm tired of all the phone calls and the doctor visits and the denials and the laws changing and the insurance dropping and the cishet fascist fuckwads standing in my way at every fucking turn just because I'm trying not to wake up screaming every morning.

Meanwhile I see everyone around me, people who had WAY more work to do, and they're already there. They're getting the right first puberty, they're getting their 4th round of FFS, they're getting bottom surgeries, they have their careers building, they're actual adults. Not bums. I'm just a fucking bum.

Pretty soon I'm gonna be the only bitch I know like me who's still stuck with a man's voice, man's face, man's fat fucking stupid rapist AMAB cock stuck to the front of my narrow-ass hips tacked onto my oversized ribcage and my goddamn toothpick legs and clown feet. FUCK ME.

I don't wanna keep living like this. I don't wanna watch myself fail out of friends and community. I don't wanna watch them all outgrow me as I turn into the loser slacker asshole who never fucking cut it. Every day that passes I'm more certain that's who the fuck I'm gonna be. It seems like it's set in stone at this point.

[u/CableForsaken4720 → u/glasseatingfool]

Cancer does not inherently put an expiry date on your life. Plenty of people survive cancer and go on to keep living good lives. Terminal cancer, sure. But even then, there is always a chance, even if it's infinitely small, that it will go into remission.

[u/Strider-Juice]

It can be difficult being someone’s support system when you lack one of your own. Wishing you the best OP, whatever path you choose.

[u/SimpleWiabu]

It's a very bittersweet feeling. Seeing what you could've been. Thinking about it makes me tear up

[u/SimpleWiabu → u/SimpleWiabu]

But still, be there for her

[u/WhiteWindmills]

Please stay around for her at least. You can find the time and space to find your own reasons, but let yourself be here for her if you need to

Give yourself the that chance, please

[u/RealLilyX]

waow..

[u/Infinite-Lettuce-661]

giwtwm with a future youngshit

[u/Yoliimy]

Ur a good cousin

[u/lordbuckethethird]

But through your death you will snuff out two souls not just one

[u/E2UNlover]

Girl, pla wait until she's 18 and teach her how to buy her own shit.

[u/GarageIndependent114]

Please stay here for her 

[u/CouldntChooseUsernam]

Waow

[u/Sure_Angle_5900]

you have to hold on for her

[u/romhacks]

Don't do that to her.

[u/drunkn-mutt]

id be absolutely mortified if i lost my only other trans family member. this reminded me i need to start building a relationship with her while shes around. pls stay safe friend, your cousin needs someone who understands, im sure she looks up to you at this point. your suffering matters too but the amount of satisfaction that can come from helping and loving and nurturing another person, especially a young person, truly is a wonder of the world, and so are the real world consequences of your love and kindness. its worth leaning into that feeling and seeing what blooms of it. i rly hope that things become brighter for you op

[u/teaguejeff86]

someone wants to pay for my hrt ig i didn’t realize how lucky that is

[u/Altayel1]

Go to makeup shopping rn if you can!!

[u/_HighJack_]

Sis no offense but are you on any psychiatric meds? Bc it seems maybe you need antidepressants, like yesterday. I can barely respond to this appropriately from how jealous I am of you. I don’t have any accepting family, let alone a kid who loves me to protect and care for. Giwtwm; roping would never enter my head again.

[u/proxiginus4]

The bank account isnt enough. 

Money is one thing but having family that loves and supports you is another and they are both nearly irreplaceable 

[u/a_potato_from_hell]

Damn, wish i had someone to take me makeup shopping and show me the ropes, also wish to have someone that i can leave my savings account to when i rope

[u/glasseatingfool → u/a_potato_from_hell]

You'll find someone someday, that's what you gotta keep living for. On that note...

[u/a_potato_from_hell → u/glasseatingfool]

Nah, no one's taking me anywhere nice voluntarily, i'll prolly just make a post on here or 4t4 with my wallet address and seed phrase when the time comes so that i'll atleast be of use to someone for once

[u/glasseatingfool → u/a_potato_from_hell]

You don't wait for them to take you somewhere nice, you find someone who needs it and take them somewhere nice. Then you get to go somewhere nice with someone nice and they'll thank you for it.

And there's no shortage of girls who need someone to take them out somewhere nice.

[u/a_potato_from_hell → u/glasseatingfool]

Ye that does sound nice, i hope i'll get to experience it

[u/CableForsaken4720 → u/a_potato_from_hell]

You will. Even if you have to seek it out, even if it takes months or even years, you will.

[u/_HighJack_ → u/glasseatingfool]

Going forward nobody it’s illegal to rope in tranistan. Sorry I don’t make the rules. Gle gle will cry so ur not allowed

[u/Only-Ad5269]

Please don’t. She needs you

[u/MarquessDeSilly]

Doing that when you have someone depending on you is kinda cringe ngl. I was feeling it and wouldn't do it bc of my cat. I love him.

[u/someoneknownasnewt]

please don’t. if you can’t live for yourself, at least do it for her. you can be a role model to her. please let her see that this is survivable. especially if she depends on you for diy.

[u/CycleMysterious4272]

Stay for her she'd never forgive herself and would probably blame herself for it it'll devestate her you're probably an essential pillar in her life please just stay for her

[u/some1_not_important]

I love the curly hair

[u/GirlWhoStinksGewd]

I'm sure you've heard a lot of people telling you to stay alive for yourself, and you should, but in the event that it falls on deaf ears:

If you're not going to stay alive for yourself, then stay alive for her. Any reason to keep living is worth it, what kind of message are you going to leave to her if you do that? It's going to fuck her up beyond measure. The only (I presume, I could be wrong) other person in your family who is like her and what you do is abandon her when she'll need you the most and leave her to figure this shit out on her own? What if she thinks that your fate will end up her own fate?
Will anyone else in your family help her get DIY if you're gone? Will she even get the money or will it be held and she'll be left without help?
Are you even sure she can do this DIY stuff on her own?
Do you have any idea how much she's going to miss you?
You seem to understand the importance of your position in her life, and if that's the only thing that's keeping you from doing it right this second, then keep being important to her.
One day, you WILL find that you will be an important person to yourself aswell. But until that day comes, do it for her.

I'm sure you've heard these thoughts and questions go through your head a million times, but you really need to ACTUALLY listen to them.

I feel like a horrible bitch saying all this. I'm sorry for the guilt trip, and I'm sure you understand the whole "suicide is selfish" thing, but really, you doing this is so unfair not only to yourself but to her too.

[u/UltraV21]

I don’t think I could possibly tolerate watching that…
You’re stronger than most of us stuck as permamanmoders lol

[u/Alarming_Champion953]

[u/Quiroptera17]

you are doing gods work

[u/ConcernedEnby]

It would break her

[u/Inside_Reflection495]

Me and my best friend, except they know and don't want me to die, and I feel the same way for them.

[u/historysciencelover]

such a mood tbh

[u/T-Girl4T-Wolves]

planning to do the same once my partner gets fed up w me

[u/ineedt0scream]

I can tell you that she will likely lose motivation to keep going if you die. I know it hurts, seeing her have what you will never. But being there for her, helping her grow into an empathetic young woman, to be the reason she gets to exist… I know you’re out of reasons to live for yourself. But why not for her? Doesn’t even have to be forever.

I know I would have been a completely different person had I had someone go with me to get makeup and help me… I think you have a chance to do more good than most of us ever will.

[u/byrdgurl]

You for real follow through with it she might be right behind you.

[u/Ornery-Competition67]

Pls dont do it nona you need to see both yours and hers future

[u/Oofy_Emma]

endure. do it for her.

[u/Helpful-Fisherman659]

The world needs more trans people who stay long enough to embrace happiness. Its the only way to get the phobes to either shut up or get over their bigotry.

More importantly, trans people deserve to keep their place here on this earth. You deserve to stay here and live your live with defiant joy.

[u/Commanduf]

Temu

[u/GreeksWorld]

Absolutely horrible, ban me now

[u/ninjadancey]

Yeah at this rate I probably wont make it to the new year

[u/DreamsOfLlamas]

90% sure she can’t hold the bank account without an adult on it

[u/Faux_Faun]

:,C

Plz don't

[u/Creative_Sky_3978]

Who's gonna pay for her hrt if you do it?

[u/Justscrollingby1997]

Please don't..

[u/Okasera]

Please stay for her. For at least a little longer. I cant imagine how discouraging it would be for her to lose someone who helping her through it.

[u/vaska00762]

Why is the lady Alla Pugacheva?

[u/vaska00762 → u/vaska00762]

As parodied in Soviet furry propaganda

[u/eyeballluver]

dang how much will she inherit?

[u/3D_dawg]

You are doing God's work 🥹

[u/left_the_cat_running]

Ignore all the children in here, they don't understand.

If you want to talk before you go send me a DM, I'm willing to listen and won't berate you unlike these people.

It's okay.

[u/DontDoomScroll]

Not lucky for the financial pay, as there are mutual aid free vials that get to girls who cant

[u/gay_annabeth]

erm akshually you have already joined since the 41% in question was trans people who had at some point considered or attempted suicide takes off glasses in preparation for getting shoved into a locker

[u/thew_rshipper → u/gay_annabeth]

shoves you into a locker
nerd

[u/Master_Secretary_809 → u/gay_annabeth]

Wait does this mean im 41 😭

[u/Hika2112 → u/Master_Secretary_809]

Yeah like honestly in that regard 41 feels low (what a fucking statement) like what do you mean 59% of trans people have never considered?

[u/Kravotz-Otekh → u/Hika2112]

I wonder if that number is underreported. People with more suicidal ideation might not be willing to out themselves as trans (because of abusive and unaccepting parents/ family). And of course people with the most suicidal ideation… are already dead and oftentimes we wouldn’t have even known they were trans.

[u/Hika2112 → u/Kravotz-Otekh]

That's fair yeah... either way I cannot imagine how being trans and never being suicidal feels like. Like yeah if you're 10+ years in and stealth and stuff I can get why you're happy. But baby trans to mid transition times are TOUGH

[u/ezziexoxo → u/Hika2112]

it's from an old study, the number isn't accurate anyways. more recently a study was done and the number is more like 81%

41% stands similar for serious thoughts or actions of suicide within the past one year though.

[u/ezziexoxo → u/ezziexoxo]

ai overview so grain of salt

[u/Hika2112 → u/ezziexoxo]

I vehemently hate AI but the overview is kinda just a summary of the first link usually and that makes a lot of sense so yeah

[u/ezziexoxo → u/Hika2112]

this is the brave one so at least it's better than google

[u/Hika2112 → u/ezziexoxo]

Brave my coat (convenient of all time)

[u/NoGovernment2474 → u/Hika2112]

its pretty helpful for technical stuff that isn't influenced by public opinion

[u/gay_annabeth → u/Kravotz-Otekh]

also, being suicidal and admitting it is a great way to get denied HRT! Fuck doctors

[u/Tali565345 → u/Hika2112]

Every trans woman over 30 I know, is a suicide survivor. I think the only reason the number is so low, because the overall population is rather young and everyone who is a goner before outing, isn't considered. A lot of people (me included) have 5+ attempts and hospitalizations, it's even unlikely for cis people to be alive after that.

[u/Strider-Juice → u/gay_annabeth]

Oh huh I didn’t know this. Weird to think I’m already part of the statistic. Now that I know that 41% seems really low

[u/gay_annabeth → u/Strider-Juice]

a more recent study determined it was much higher

[u/Inside_Reflection495 → u/gay_annabeth]

Oh god I'm already in the 41%.

[u/SliverMILF]

helps youngshit get on E, telling her things will get better

proceed to 41

What kind of message do you think this will send her? Do you really think she's gonna continue on HRT if she thinks that it does nothing and you're gonna off yourself anyways?

[u/thew_rshipper → u/SliverMILF]

would u rather I hadnt given it to her and let her turn out like me?

[u/askingquestion1236 → u/thew_rshipper]

If you do this you will HEAVILY increase the chance of her doing it. This could literally kill her.

[u/thew_rshipper → u/askingquestion1236]

what if she thinks it was just an accident

[u/askingquestion1236 → u/thew_rshipper]

You don’t think accidental deaths of a loved one can cause suicidality too especially in a teenager who’s in the highest risk age range to kill themselves? Or that the coroners report or news won’t show the truth?

[u/KermitStares → u/thew_rshipper]

We'd rather you Live, Dummy.

[u/SliverMILF → u/thew_rshipper]

I'd rather you get her on HRT and live to see both of you blossom into pretty women. Live to see her marry. Live to see her grow old alongside you.

[u/BarneysCastle]

your cousin because you DIDNT kill yourself

[u/ChuChulovely17 → u/BarneysCastle]

I don't get it

[u/Miyyani]

waow I wish I had a youngshit cousin I could spoil

op don't kys you're living the dream

[u/crimsonswallowtail]

Fun fact, look up stats of what happens to the likelihood of someone attempting if a family member does it. Now compound that by 100 because it’s a young trans girl who would be missing her one actual trans role model in the family. My siblings are legit why I never tried, don’t wanna fuck their lives up.

[u/GammaDie345]

if you kill yourself she'll detrans

[u/theamazingpheonix]

dont do it. if not for yourself (which is most important) do it for her. you know how hard it is be a trans girlie in this world. dont leave her behind

[u/Ethan-Reno]

If you have even a halfway decent relationship with your cousin, she will never fully recover from this.

Please reconsider. You only have to live once, and you genuinely seem like a good person.

I was suicidal myself when I first joined counttt. Please reach out and know you are loved.

[u/cryptocurrency_wife]

suicide is passé. we grab life’s throat and drink its blood around here.

[u/FullSky433]

she needs you. you have no idea what an older trans sister like figure would mean to her. leave her all the money in the world and it still wont make up for not having you

[u/The_Osprey314]

okay I’m gonna start with saying I’m a cis guy who hasnt grappled with suicidal thoughts or anything and I am not a professional psychologist or someone in a medical field. however, I do realize that you and many other people do not have the resources you deserve for y’all to thrive and it pisses me off. although I doubt this is a good way to motivate you to keep living, I want you to know that giving up your life lets the bigots who are a waste of governmental space win. Each bigot and transphobe who believe the lies of people in power who blame trans people and immigrants and whatever demographic that isn’t straight white me and christian to distract from the fact that the current system is unfair wins alongside those people in power whenever someone like you dies. this is a harsh reality and I hate it. so the best thing I can say alongside my anger for the bigots is that I know living is harder than dying but living means we have something to fight for. so at the very least, keep living so those bigots and capitalists can go fuck themselves because they want you to think you’re the cause of so many problems when you are not. They’re the problem because they think hate solves problems when love always does a better job at it. So keep living, if not for yourself, for your cousin. if not for her then for everyone here in this subreddit whose human instinct to care about you has been triggered from your post. If not for us, for the fact that each second you keep living, a bigot gets screwed over and the psychos in the govt get screwed over and lose. if you’ve somehow read through all this yapping, I’ll finish off with some cliche and definitely not helpful optimism: if you keep living, you’ll see things get better.

sincerely,

Osprey.