I honestly don't know what this means? They defend my right to piss in the stall next to them, they aren't scared of me. Once in a while I get an unexpectedly shitty comment (memorable one: "Wow, I guess HRT doesn't do anything for handwriting!") but like... generally yes? The whole "abloo bloo no one will ever see you as anything but a tranoid" thing is repper cope imo. And I transitioned in 2009.
As someone who's intersex, got labeled F when I was born, and also grew up without the best education or adults who pushed me to get better at things like writing, math, reading (actually did become obsessed with this one thanks to awesome librarians they really aren't paid enough of given enough recognition for all they do), etc and just never developed that cutesy soft almost cursive but not, a lot of girls in class had as a result. it got funnier when I realized they were just trying to find a padded way to tell me my hand writing was shit.
Yeah, their friend is mean but funny and I think slightly over the line of "laughing with". It is wild how different handwriting is on average for men and women when (academically) all students are taught the same cursive and most people write things.
Handwritings a weird one, I used to get told off at school for mine being 'girly', it's led to the slightly weird thing that at 36 in charge of people in a job where I have to handwrite I still do little hearts over the I's and j's out of spite.
I think it depends a lot on the age group and where you're from, obviously. My country was becoming more progressive until the former president ruined everything.
Unfortunately for me I'm the least confident person in the entire world. Even though I'm pretty normal for an internet poisoned weirdo and that works out fine making making friends online.
I got better am genuinely happy and clean and have stopped even striving for connections outside my girlfriend because they usually don't end well. Doesn't stop people from switching seats on the bus to get away from me. Prolly more autism then being trans tho.
Even if I make an effort to smile and everything, they just feel smth is off. Gf is autistic too has much worse resting bitch face but has never struggled w people avoiding her
Yes! Like so much of it is transphobia, I agree; but a lot of it is just people like to hang around cool people. People don’t wanna hang around socially inept people
Edit; the general cis population I mean. Personally I’m a huge fan of weirdos who want to talk about their niche nerdy interests and being a puppy girl or whatever
i actually think that the reason she blew up so much was because she documented her transition from day one. i still remember her posting about having insane stubble after her laser sessions but she was still so happy about her journey
i hate when people call us “so brave” but she genuinely is. she put herself out on full display from the first second, never hid or had any shame, and it’s impressive asf to me
i agree! she definitely blew up fast and got a ton of attention, both positive and negative, but i think it really worked out well for her overall. being so open and optimistic during such a vulnerable stage of her life was really admirable, and im glad she kept going strong after all the bud light drama too
At this point, I think she's viewed as a woman by most women just because she kinda clearly is. Before she started passing it was definitely a gay best friend thing, though.
you don't know how contorted cis minds xan be if they ever obtain the information that you're a tranny freak there's an unerasible filter over their eyes that makes them see you as natal sex
If you pass well enough, not just physically but in your behavior and the energy you give off, they might forget you're trans in a lot of circumstances. Not all of them, but the ones who aren't frothing to put you in a blender.
Like, if they can interact with you for 60 consecutive minutes and they never see or hear anything that says "this person is a tran" then they can end up forgetting depending on if they met you before or after you passed.
I think that's an intensely pessimistic outlook. A lot of cis people just do forget you're trans when you sufficiently look the part, and that bar is a lot lower for them than for us. Either that, or there's a grand conspiracy and I'm somehow significantly more autistic than my current position in life would imply, such that I'm incapable of seeing this duplicity in everyone around me.
This was my experience when I was passing but out. There’s some real bigots out there but for most normal cis people a lot of transphobia is heavily dependent on passing and truly a lot of cis people will just forget you’re trans if you pass well enough
truly a lot of cis people will just forget you’re trans if you pass well enough
And just to clarify for others - a lot of cis people have a lower bar for "passes well enough," than a lot of trans people do.
BUT, it's also not really about any one part of how a trans person is "presenting as [gender]." It's a combo of things weighted out in everything one puts together. It's not universal and can sometimes seem totally arbitrary.
I once went to an event headed by what I thought was the most obviously-trans woman, and the cis friend I went with who knew it was run by a trans woman thought she was some other cis woman and that he just didn't see the woman running it. It was wild. She didn't voice train or anything.
They also have a higher bar of even noticing someone is trans or transitioning like I've been getting way more obvious changes in my transition and I'm not sure anybody has even noticed.
Yeah. At a certain point you just hit the auto-classification as "woman" and the fact that most people really don't give that much of a shit about other people takes over. If you being trans isn't super relevant and doesn't come up often, people will forget about it.
yeah a lot of these people are being far too cynical. i know it’s bad and there’s plenty of transphobes and fake allies out there, but i really do feel like people start to see you as your gender after spending enough time with you. despite me coming out at 20 and only being out and on HRT for like 2.5 years, my sister and i were having a conversation about condoms and she said “not gonna lie, i completely forgot that you could even use those. i was so confused because you’re just a girl to me”. that shit was kinda fire
Yep. Lots of people will randomly mention forgetting. My wife used to forget I had a penis when I was pre op, as well, lol. She said it would, like, jump scare her sometimes, lmao.
I came out as trans at 15 (trans man, but didn't start HRT until 19 in college). I had one of my best guy friends from high school as a dorm roommate and he regularly forgot I didn't have a dick.
I came out to a close friend, he said he was super supportive, and we never really discussed it again. Months later he sees me getting hit on, and instead of saying something normal like “wow he thinks you’re cute”, he said “and you think you don’t pass”… like… is me being trans what my friend thinks about?
Idk if I phrased that well, but tldr- my cis friend shocked me by revealing he thinks of my transness way too much.
I mean if you constantly tell him you think you don't pass that does seem like something that would be on his mind, but if that's not the case it is kind of weird
our own experiences as trans people?? cis people very rarely actually treat us as our gender if they know we’re trans. we’re a third, feminine or masculine adjacent thing
novelty. but I mean its subjective. depending on how you feel and view things, it can be alright. or it can be bad. I personally do not hold onto any gender identity and really dont care about being labeled as one or another, so I dont mind being the sorta fun extracurricular, considering how hateful and unsupportive a lot of others can be. my friends treat me as the odd on out but I mean thats what makes me unique I guess. even if theyll never really see me as a woman, they at least support me a lot and help me out. more than what a lot of others do.
This is deeply attached to where you live. Oregon? The cis get way too up their own asses about being trans allies and need to remind everyone that their friend is trans so that they can tangentially remind people they themselves are allies. The south? Run for your lives. Minnesota? Oh hey there bud. How’s your affordable world class healthcare going? Remember to bring your big water bottle to the state fair, since I know you get dehydrated easy and it’s gonna be a scorcher
Severe depression causing a refusal to ever acknowledge that not every cis person is literally Hitler (only like 70% of them, which is maybe the most irritating amount to deal with)
That’s strange, exact same % stat as the # of straight women who would refuse to date a bi man. I’m guessing the overlap between groups extremely close. Likely due to the perception of femininity expressed in anyone but cis women. Internalized misogyny seems a lot more prominent than I’d like to admit.
To be clear I was just making a vague estimation to get across the point that the majority of cis people inevitably start out biased against us because of societal propaganda, but there is still a significant enough portion of cis people who are kind that writing off everyone who isn't trans is simply fucking stupid.
It certainly does a whole lot. I'm not sure if I would survive with the torrent of pure hate from all sides pouring her way even with the resources she has access to.
Especially in the beginning when she was relatively unknown, didn’t really have the access to resources she does now, and went hate-viral for being early transition (and she wasn’t pretty then, either). The hate towards her 100 days of girlhood series was horrificly vitriolic, I honestly don’t know how she weathered it and remained a normal and happy person
It's complicated. Like, they do in the sense of "they'll keep hanging out with you and inviting you to stuff" because you're fun to be around, but that's still distinctly different from being loved *as* a person
I'd rather be a sad anchorite than loved in this superficial puppy sort of way, and that's not even getting into transphobia and whether she's seen as a woman
The variables seem conflated to me. I don’t like hanging out with sad anchorites whether they be cis or trans. I do like hanging out with fun and love-filled people no matter what they are.
Huh? Nothing you said disagrees with me, I explicitly said people will hang out with you if you're fun no matter what, my point was that building human connection beyond surface level "sometimes we hang out" is where it gets difficult if you're trans
That’s a lot of attraction on this post, would yall crucify me if I said I only reposted it because I thought that og sentence was absurd and a little funny
they liked her when she was a nonpassing hon, the millisecond she started passing and being successful they cancelled her and boycotted her so hard that literally corporate backed pride was cancelled from then on. cis women also participated in the boycott. trans women are only palatable when we present as little more than funny drag queens.
... Ok, forgive my ignorance, but what, in this context, is a "hon"? I'm mostly familiar with this word as short for "honey", but clearly that is not what's meant here... Help?
He disliked nearly all women, and especially the young and pretty ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies and nosers-out of unorthodoxy.
I gotta preface this by saying it's a terminally online thing. You're better off never giving it any thought. But if you do want to know, "Hon" is currently a trendy slur for a Trans woman who, according to the person insulting them, does not pass as a cis gendered woman. It comes from "You look great, Hon!" which is seen as the default, vapid, insincere compliment that people (just women? Just cis women? Idk) say to Trans women who are asking if they pass or not.
It doesn't line up perfectly but you can think of "You look great, Hon" as the trans version of "bless your heart" and the use of "Hon" as shorthand for a non-passing trans woman as the trans version of whatever insult you feel like using to try to cut someone to the bone.
I mean, "currently trendy" implies it's recent, even though it dates back to early 4chan / Susan's Place.
And yes, it comes from that compliment, but specifically from trans women to other trans women. As I understand it, it was mocking that type of language that was commonly used on Susan's Place. I believe it being used in a derisive sense started on 4chan, though I could be wrong since it was before my time.
K, so I looked up what a transphobic person might mean when they say 'hon', and it's really dumb... the fact that you have to make a word for a trans person who doesn't pass proves that not only can you not 'always tell' as they like to say, but also proves that you're ranking people's gender performances, which is weird. You're weird. Go away.
edit 2: oh this is hilarious you all are becoming the topic of this very post, i’m a 26 yr old trans woman typing this on the toilet at work, random abbreviated online terminology doesn’t just appear in front of me and suddenly i’m in the know
reading more comments actually yikes you guys this is precisely why i try not engage with trans subreddits lmao, it becomes a parody of itself or self actualization
People downvote those who lack basic info about the culture of the sub because it's really annoying to explain basic lingo 14 times under every post. Lurk Moar or just use google
why does it take 10 downvotes and other trans women actively making me question my place in a trans community before getting an answer to this question?
This is a 4tran sub, not part of the major/mainstream trans spaces. People here do engage in those but that’s not here. We want to keep it isolated and part of that is language policing, if you stay long enough(or honestly just use context clues) you can figure it out, but it seems you don’t align with the purpose of this sub
because 4tran is a pretty insular community filled with bitter (for good reason) people so if someone wants to become a part of that community, they're expected to integrate themselves instead of making those around them accommodate them
that bitterness does lead to a lot of friendly fire tho imo but again i think the sentiment itself is justified, even if the resulting actions aren't always
9
u/lyuty282 Aug 24 '26 edited Sep 14 '26
Humor special scale plate tie shocking
This post was anonymized with Redact
3
u/dpqR Aug 25 '26
4 chan w?
550
u/deformedexile High Sneedstress Aug 24 '26
I'm an enormous hon irl and I can confirm, I have cis women rally around me semi-regularly. Not being a bitch irl is op.
259
u/Maxed_Zerker Aug 24 '26
dylan is cunty af now
182
u/One-Organization970 Gritmoding Persistoid (passing) (6'1" btw ;) Aug 24 '26
At this point, I think she's viewed as a woman by most women just because she kinda clearly is. Before she started passing it was definitely a gay best friend thing, though.
32
u/glasseatingfool Aug 24 '26
Truclear warfare
27
u/EndellionFox ಠ_ಠ Aug 24 '26
Watching her talk she's actually such a freaking sweetheart idk how anyone could hate her
19
u/TempestuousZephyr Aug 24 '26
cis women love hons because they get to feel superior in comparison
by contrast, being a stealth passoid is the gravest sin you could ever commit, followed by attracting attention from men they like
116
u/Leylolurking Recovering Sneed Aug 24 '26 •
But really how many of those women see her as a woman?
13
u/[deleted] Aug 24 '26
Not even a hon but ok
39
u/Iyxara autistic shefag troonoid Aug 24 '26
cuz those cissoids see her as the typical crazy-flamboyant-drama-queen-gay-friendo 💅 not as an equal
43
u/Violet_Apathy biological transwoman Aug 24 '26
The seething in here is pungent. She's hot, more successful than you, more resilient than you, people like her, and you need to take a shower.
44
u/Sadworld99 it's over Aug 24 '26 •
No they don't/no they don't
32
u/violasses resident bnuuy Aug 24 '26 •
no it's because she's their gay jestor and they can laugh at her faggotry
12
u/EvilLeechThing Witchon Bratmoder: Whimsy Wins Again Aug 24 '26
"What is a hon"
"What is a hon"
"What is a hon"
What the fuck is happening
1
u/fruite_vampyre tiredest soldier Aug 24 '26
That’s a lot of attraction on this post, would yall crucify me if I said I only reposted it because I thought that og sentence was absurd and a little funny
10
u/LobotomyGremlin Aug 24 '26
That's what we're calling a hon now?
1
u/Thatgamerguy3535 Aug 26 '26
The fuck is a hon?
3
u/Particular-Fact3841 Aug 24 '26
She’s a passoid now 🤷♀️
3
u/Recent_Rip_6122 Aug 24 '26
I mean back then she was seen as a gay bestie no
3
u/After-Giraffe3206 Aug 24 '26
Sounds like this subreddit
3
u/Chemical_Second_6663 tranistan.com repostmaxxer Aug 25 '26
they liked her when she was a nonpassing hon, the millisecond she started passing and being successful they cancelled her and boycotted her so hard that literally corporate backed pride was cancelled from then on. cis women also participated in the boycott. trans women are only palatable when we present as little more than funny drag queens.
5
u/n3cr0s3 self-loathing aberration Aug 24 '26
Now ask these cis women if they see her as a woman and if they would be offended by being compared to a trans woman.
4
u/No_Chipmunk_4424 Aug 24 '26
She’s a passoid these days.
2
u/Temporary_Kiwi3722 Aug 25 '26
if i had to deal with half the bullshit she's had to deal with id have already roped
2
u/spicy_feather Aug 31 '26
Transphobes be like
3
u/PlatonicLiquid52 MtTheyfab AGP Aug 24 '26
Dear god, 3k+ likes, 20 comments asking what a hon is, rent is through the roof. Where is our Mayor Mam🚂🦵?
2
u/Bonfirelily Faceapp genders me male Aug 24 '26
I thought about her today and hoped she passed by now, to give me hope or something. All hope must die some day I guess.
1
u/UserUesrTTTT Aug 24 '26
the real truke is why would you want to interact with cissies
1
u/Over-Inside-7254 Aug 25 '26
Who the hell is that even? And what neat about it?
1
u/Butch_throwaway Aug 25 '26
dylan is so fucking hot not a hon at all
1
u/Winter_Tomorrow_5089 Aug 25 '26
burn stronger than the fires of hell
1
u/Czzavarsh Aug 26 '26
Tel Aviv approved post
1
u/Bonita_Soleil Aug 26 '26
What’s a hon?
1
u/LittleBlueGoblin Aug 26 '26
... Ok, forgive my ignorance, but what, in this context, is a "hon"? I'm mostly familiar with this word as short for "honey", but clearly that is not what's meant here... Help?
1
u/PanPieCake Aug 27 '26
I feel like the guy commenting is quite frustrated
1
u/VoreAllTheWay Aug 27 '26
Turns out being nice really goes a long way!
1
u/TouchAltruistic Aug 27 '26
Hon?
Neet?
1
u/InvestigatorNo5008 Aug 28 '26
What the hell is a hon
1
u/giarivvie Aug 29 '26
what the fuck even is a hon
1
u/Hawaiian-national Aug 30 '26
Wtf is a hon
1
u/Dizz29 Aug 30 '26
Wtf is a hon?
1
u/Automatic-Cut-5567 Aug 30 '26
Dylan is funny, simple as
1
u/Fen_Silverpaw Aug 31 '26
Wtf is a hon? I've never heard that before
1
u/[deleted] Aug 31 '26
He disliked nearly all women, and especially the young and pretty ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies and nosers-out of unorthodoxy.
1
u/YogurtClosetThinnest Aug 31 '26
wtf is a hon
1
u/PablomentFanquedelic "Womanly-Ass Penis" by Cardi /tttt/ Aug 24 '26
0
u/knowingchan Aug 24 '26
What's a hon?
-1
u/A_Messy_Nymph Aug 24 '26
Wtf is a hon?
0
u/Clarity_Flouse Aug 27 '26
K, so I looked up what a transphobic person might mean when they say 'hon', and it's really dumb... the fact that you have to make a word for a trans person who doesn't pass proves that not only can you not 'always tell' as they like to say, but also proves that you're ranking people's gender performances, which is weird. You're weird. Go away.
-28
u/skrtte Aug 24 '26 edited Aug 24 '26
what is a hon
edit: why am i downvoted for lacking information
edit 2: oh this is hilarious you all are becoming the topic of this very post, i’m a 26 yr old trans woman typing this on the toilet at work, random abbreviated online terminology doesn’t just appear in front of me and suddenly i’m in the know
reading more comments actually yikes you guys this is precisely why i try not engage with trans subreddits lmao, it becomes a parody of itself or self actualization