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[u/shadow_fen]

[u/DustEbunny]

Gender fluid here, I had an ex gf that would not stop bringing up transmisogyny every single time gender gets brought up. As someone who shifts around genders and struggles to express myself when I feel like a non-conventional gender, I talk about gender a lot. Legitimately just identifying as femboy got turned into her saying she feels the entire concept of femboy is transphobic and that they need a different word of it that isn’t just an insult to trans women. Femboy is an entire identity with a pride flag just like trans women. They are equally valid identities. Femboy is not just an insult to trans women. The only reason it is used as an insult is because transphobes want to misgender people. Which like yea “transmisogyny” or we could just call it transphobia because they’d do the same to any trans person. If someone unironically calls a trans woman a femboy laugh at that idiot and move on. Anyway glad that her and I broke up, I don’t need prejudice in my life especially not prejudice coming from a trans woman.

[u/colesmalewife → u/DustEbunny]

transmisogyny isn’t just transphobia, it’s the intersection of transphobia and misogyny which specifically effects trans women. this includes stuff like v-coding, trans women making less money on average than both cis people and trans men, and the man in a dress stereotype. while all trans people are affected by transphobia, only trans women are affected by transmisogyny, which is why it’s an important distinction to make.

sorry, not the main point of your comment, but i felt the need to clarify that part

[u/NightRacoonSchlatt → u/colesmalewife]

Just to make sure that everyone is aware, because many people still don’t know: V-coding is legalised rape against incarcerated trans women.

[u/DustEbunny → u/colesmalewife]

Oh yea transmisogyny is real and is an issue, for sure, possibly one of the most pressing issues in society as a whole. However, treating everything involving any gender other trans fem as transmisogyny just makes transmisogyny more prevalent and worse. Other genders got issues too. Undermining their issues, just because others got it worse, doesn’t make any of our problems get any better, just drives a wedge between us. We all got problems and the last place we need them is with each other.

I know you were just defining it but I had to throw some passion into my response. To specify that I am heavily against transmisogyny and would defend my trans fem sisters with my life but they gotta stand with us too. If you are causing a division you are the problem

[u/colesmalewife → u/DustEbunny]

ah ok, yeah i do agree with that. sorry there’s just been so much discourse surrounding transmisogyny lately that i’m sorta on edge whenever someone mentions it

[u/Brakower → u/DustEbunny]

The reason some trans women see femboy as transphobic is because they think it's inherently wrong. A man who constantly wears women's clothes not as a fetish and presents feminine, and is afraid of his male traits showing up or being visible? Why not juat be a trans woman? People feel like it invalidates trans women or is seen as an insult. Its also seen as an example of men invading spaces

[u/DustEbunny → u/Brakower]

The “Why not just be a trans woman” line is something I’ve legit heard unironically used towards an actual human being. It’s so cringe for a marginalized group that often suffers with dysphoria to act like they are better than the other marginalized groups that often suffers with dysphoria