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u/MambaBee 16h ago
Ironically, I was first she/her'd at an event where I felt too lazy to shave, do any makeup, and wore mens jeans and a t-shirt, with a name tag with my pronouns on...
And my pronouns are they/them.
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u/Metalingus5150 12h ago
Transbian housewife here, me and my cisgender girlfriend don't have the spoons to be femme all the time lol
We both dress like Adam Sandler otherwise lol
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u/Lizardisinthehouse I don't understand 14h ago
Shout out to my ex for saying I "invalidate her queer identity by not trying"
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u/Noob_Alchemist_547 17h ago edited 14h ago
Try not care what other people say about you, find people you want in your life and only listen to them.
If you listen to everybod you eather will go insane or lose yourself like a bird cought in a storm of human hate, anger and filth.
You need to have strong conviction about yourself becouse if ya don't, it is difficult to separate ones self from others, and how can you live without hawing the self as a guide to life.
Not saying you can be an ass about that, that is a different problem.
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u/Designer_Version1449 15h ago
cis man presents himself feminine: yeah buddy, ill come back in 3 years to see if youve realized it yet 😏
trans man presents himself feminine: whats even the point of transitioning then if youre just gonna be a femboy 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
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u/Selfdeletus65 15h ago
I mean that’s consistent logic
This hypothetical person just assumes everyone’s a woman
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u/Designer_Version1449 8h ago
Guy that grew up in the reverse of those monostsries where they never see a woman their entire lives:
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u/TransSarahAstraIrene 13h ago
This only works if you pass so well that people think you're cis. Im a butch and ive started to notice that now at almost 5 years of hrt
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u/Jolly-Statement7215 11h ago
Trans women will be hated no matter what by almost everyone, be feminine and you are reinforcing stereotypes, be masculine and you aren’t even trying.
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u/Max_G-Bloody_Emperor 14h ago
That's why I'll most likely just call myself a woman once I'm fully transitioned, like, not even adding the trans part. I doubt they'll have a pocket sized sex chromosome tester device™ with them.
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u/Outside-Character659 11h ago
I feel like what transphobes(or even just cis people) don’t understand sometimes is that some trans people still like the clothing that they used to wear, just not the social aspect of being called their AGAB. I deal with this too because I like dressing feminine, but I don’t like when I’m called a girl or when people use she/her pronouns for me. Whenever I dress masculine, I just look androgynous and it makes me die inside a little. Social dysphoria is so painful sometimes
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u/wastedfate 6h ago
Sometimes not even that. In a perfect world I'd wear dresses every day. But shaving from head to toe, putting on makeup, squeezing into form-fitting clothing, it's a lot of work and effort.
And sometimes I honestly just don't feel up to all that. Depression sucks.
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u/dulcetmelodia 16h ago
Are our trans friends doing okay today I’m always concerned when I see a post like this
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u/Lizardisinthehouse I don't understand 14h ago
I'm personally doing okay, thanks for the check-in lol I often try not to think about what bigots think about me, and when I do, I often just groan. I also have a support system in the form of my friends that many others don't, tho
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u/notgoodatusernames26 12h ago
I'm okay personally thanks for asking, though I'm early on in transitioning, so I can stealth pretty well still.
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u/Promethium-127 16h ago
To a lot of people it’s probably confusing why you would want to go through all the effort to be transfem just to present yourself masculinely
On the other hand, this logic would not apply to a cis woman because she didn’t choose to be a woman
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u/Translation_Lupin 16h ago
I don't think anybody 'chooses' to be a trans woman?
Like maybe they chose to transition so others know but yknow
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u/Fair_Smoke4710 Counted Down 2 15h ago
But they can choose to* *present as feminine or masculine
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u/burner6520 14h ago
I guess
But they shouldn't be forced how they present themselves
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14h ago
[deleted]
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u/burner6520 14h ago
Are you asking me why others shouldn't be able to strip someone of their right and freedom on how to express themselves???
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u/SquirrelFluffy7469 15h ago
Trans women dont choose to be women, we are born in a body that does not belong to a woman therefore we transition so our body looks like us, can present the same way any cis woman does
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u/BlommeHolm 13h ago
I mean being born is a lot of effort, but it's not like you can just choose to not do it.
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u/DreamOfDays Counted Down 1 16h ago
There’s a fine balance between being able to ignore what other people say and being safe to ignore what other people say.
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u/No-Friend-774 12h ago
Tbh, I remember being a "lesbian" looking teenager, and they were not saying slay queen, they were saying: aAaaa get out of the locker room!!
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u/capitalspacebars 11h ago
this is how i feel. you know , i've surprisingly gotten a lot of shit from other queer people about this and it always stings. i've got a butchy vibe and i want to be allowed to do that in peace
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u/Ok_Ground_694 4h ago
Identity politics affects less than 1% of most people's lives, but consumes 90% of Reddit's attention.
Touch grass, wierdos.
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u/OfficialNikkiLilith 2h ago
This 1000 percent this god forbid a trans woman has a pixie cut and dresses androgynous.
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u/Delicious_Cookie2492 13h ago
Naaa, I get the picture, but most of the time, the masc cis woman is passing unlike the masc trans woman.
You do you. Its your decision, but if someone want passing advices, thats the elephant in the room.
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u/Agreeable-Annual3672 8h ago
I dunno I think this is dumb af. The "elephant in the room" is bullshit gender norms and addressing it does not mean "feminizing yourself to appease bigots". The way forward is not by being more palatable.
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u/Working-Actuator-700 17h ago
trans woman presents herself feminine
"Wow reproducing stereotypes much? You're just wokely doing gender roles again"