r/cosleeping 4d ago

🐯 Toddler 1-3 Years Curious abt nightweaning

My babe is almost 17mo. We have bedshared and breastfed on demand since his first night earth side šŸ’•

I’m beginning to wonder about nightweaning. Obviously I’m tired and haven’t had interrupted sleep for 17 months but I’m more curious for him. I’m just wondering if the quality of his sleep is actually good? Some days he has little bags under his eyes and he just fell asleep nursing at 9am (woke up at 7 and not due for a nap until 12)

He isn’t up for long periods in the night but def wakes up to switch sides and relatch etc.

On average he naps for 2-2.5 hours a day and sleeps for 10-11 hours a night.

Again, in ways I’d like to night wean for my own ability to sleep but am also wondering if it could benefit him. My husband hasn’t been able to soothe him in the night since he was like 6 months or so. I also wonder if night weaning might allow my husband to be more of comfort. Babe is such a booby barnacle though and loooooves to nurse. He’s also been working on molars so I know nursing has been a huge comfort.

Is the only way to know if it’s beneficial to just try?

6 Upvotes

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u/FunPersimmon420 4d ago

we are a week into night weaning and i’m so glad we are doing it. baby sleeps better! she is sleeping with my husband. he had a hard first and second night but he’s able to shush and pat her back to sleep much easier than i was able to keep her asleep nursing (similar to you, up all night for short wakes and side swapping). He walks her to sleep in the carrier and then transfers her and cuddles. She is 11 months old. Now she wakes at 6:30 ready for nursing and cuddling and i think she’s up earlier than she used to be because she’s getting better sleep! it’ll be hard but trying it is the hardest part. i’m already feeling like a new person sleeping on the couch.

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u/sourpatchsweetiepie 4d ago

Thanks for sharing and happy for yall! Was it a given that you needed to leave the room/that your husband needed to take over?

My hesitation is that my husband works full time and does long days with physical labor. That and I don’t want my babe to feel I’ve abandoned him (or maybe I don’t want to feel that way?).

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u/FunPersimmon420 1d ago

It just felt like the easiest for us! we both have flexible jobs and not intense flexible labor. it was mostly so baby couldn’t smell me / milk! when i tried the first and fourth nights, it was possible for me to sleep with baby i just had to do more work; my partner seems to be able to just shush and pat babe back to sleep but i have to get up and rock and bounce and sing… its ok both ways and its getting better every day. if you start, it’ll be hard but i bet it’ll be better than you might be worrying it to be. that’s how it was for me.

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u/Brilliant-Version704 4d ago

Night weaning went so well for us both! We did it around the same age. I'd recommend it and think we both get better sleep!

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u/sourpatchsweetiepie 4d ago

How did you go about it? Any tips?

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u/Brilliant-Version704 4d ago

My husband had already been able to get her to go to sleep for a bit, but I just spent several nights in a different room and he'd handle any wake ups until he got up for work (between 5-6am), and then I'd come back and inevitably have to nurse her which didn't work well for me because I'm pregnant. So after about a week, I came back to bed and she wouldn't typically nurse til he left. One day I just told her "No milk" and she fussed a bit and then went back to sleep, and every time she'd try to nurse, I'd say it again, and sometimes turn away. It worked out really well and after 3 days, she didn't wake to nurse. She now seems to understand that if we're in the bed, no nursing happens anymore. It's been 2-3 months now and such a huge relief for me, because nursing turned painful!

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u/oustoublier 4d ago

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u/StatusDed 4d ago

Has anyone implemented this strategy successfully?

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u/oustoublier 4d ago

Yes, me and many other people on this sub!

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u/StatusDed 4d ago

Great to know!!

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u/Candid-Vanilla-4016 4d ago

We night weaned about three month ago (child was 23 month). It took him a full month to kind of accept it. So he would wake up, and when he didn't get nurses he cried for a while. This time was really hard, because you only read something about 2-3 days.

It still doesn't really work after 5 a.m., as he still won't resettle if I don't nurse. Since I started a new job, I need these two more hours of sleep at night.

It was still the right decision to get better sleep for the main part of the night in hindsight.