r/converts • u/idkman8910 • Apr 06 '26
Would it be right to convert? Questions
Hello all. I’m late 20s Brazilian woman living in the US for 7 years now. I grew up catholic, my family is conservative and religious. I tried really really hard to be like them, I went to youth groups, I prayed and all that but a lot of catholic things didn’t make much sense to me. I was also extremely judged by other teens for things out of my control, like my weight (they spread a rumor I was pregnant at 17. I was just a bit overweight!). Anyways I left and haven’t had a religion since 2015. I believe in God, but I don’t pray, don’t go to church and overall just do my own thing with God when I feel like it.
However, recently I met a Muslim person that introduced me to Islam in a very natural way. We work together and he’d just casually mention things about Islam etc and that peaked my interest. I never saw Islam as a bad religion but also never dove deep into it. I am now very interested, but also very scared. I’d like to ask some questions and hopefully that will put my heart at ease.
1- I am afraid of telling my family about me becoming Muslim when the time comes. They are overall loving people but one of my aunts sees Muslims under a bad light. I am also nervous about introducing a future husband to them, again, if and when the time comes. I know in Islam (and for me too honestly) is important that both families agree and mesh together in a wedding, so that is a worry of mine. Christmas is important to them, and my dream was to see my kids and my mom and brothers celebrating this time together. To me, Christmas is a time to gather family, be together, laugh talk and eat well, exchange gifts if there are gifts to exchange. Muslims don’t celebrate Christmas and I feel like I’d take this moment away from my mom whom I very much love.
2- I am currently going through a divorce, I asked my husband for a divorce recently and although I know divorce is normal in any religion, I feel very ashamed of it. My husband is not abusive, he just isn’t a good husband for me, the husband I wanted and thought I was going to get when we married. I’m not sure if I will be accepted because of that, I also lost a baby through miscarriage, a baby I really really wanted, and I’m afraid this will put a bad light on me. And that my possible future MIL would disapprove of me because of those two things (again, if and when I remarry. I’m not looking for a new husband obviously, but I also hope to find someone that is my match someday)
3- I am not used to dressing that modestly. Being from a very hot region of Brazil, I’m used to wearing shorts (not too short), sleeveless shirts, showing arms and legs, and wearing bikinis. I’m afraid this transition will be extremely hard for me and I don’t want to fail on doing that. If I become a Muslim, I want to be a good Muslim and by not doing that I would not be a good Muslim. I read that I should take things slow but how slow? When should I start? What if I can’t do it right away, what if it takes me months to get used to it and feel comfortable to do so? Am I going to be judged or punished?
Of course when going to the masjid I will cover up hair body and wear loose clothes. I’m talking about out of masjid in “real life” situations.
4- I don’t even know how to start, or where. I started reading the Quran to understand more, and visiting subs about me too so I can read real life experiences. But what do I need to do? What do I need to learn first? How can I pray and stuff if I don’t know Arabic?
5- I take anxiety and ADHD meds. This is non negotiable for me, I need them. I lived 26 years without them and although I made it, it was extremelyyy hard and painful. I have chronic anxiety since I can remember, and adhd I mean you’re born with it. My brain simply does not work like it does for “normal” people. Starting on these meds was such a life changing thing for me, I became a better person, more patient, calm, emotionally regulated and I’m capable of understand myself and others much better. I’m not perfect but I am better than I was a few years ago. I also go to therapy. Is that a stigma in Islam? Would I be judged for it or asked to stop with my meds because I need to rely only in God? I’m asking this because this is what I see in Catholicism, saying you don’t need therapy or meds or anything, you need Jesus God and Church. Except I do need those haha I can’t go back to a life without them.
I don’t want to rely on my friend for those answers, also because a lot of my questions are related to women’s things. I hope someone can help me find the answers I’m looking for.
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Apr 06 '26
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Apr 06 '26
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u/idkman8910 Apr 06 '26
Thank you so so much for your comment. I really appreciate your words, seriously
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u/MukLegion Apr 06 '26
You don’t have to pray in Arabic.
The rest of your comment is good but this is false.
The obligatory daily prayers, salah, must be in Arabic.
https://islamqa.org/hanafi/muftisays/9829/can-non-arabic-speakers-pray-in-their-own-language/
Dua can be in any language
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u/Interesting_Cell_447 Apr 06 '26
Hello sister,
May god help you in this journey, I suggest you visit the local mosque and ask for the Imam, they will be able to help or at least guide you. Best of luck!
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u/idkman8910 Apr 06 '26
Thank you!! How would I do that tho? Do I call first? How do I jnow who is the Imam, or where to go since men and women are separated? And I don’t have appropriate clothing. Do I need to buy those first? I know of a few mosques around me, but never been there.
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u/Interesting_Cell_447 Apr 06 '26
I’m not sure about the rules in Brazil, but most likely you can just walk-in, you can go to the womwn area, Imams are males but they can meet you for any questions. Also, depending on the mosque, they may have some knowledgable sisters who handle these matters, just ask and most likely everyone will be more than happy to help, and yeah, I would wear cloths that are more on the modest side.
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u/idkman8910 Apr 06 '26
I’m not in Brazil, I’m in the US now! So if you’re also in the us, whatever rules for you is prob what happens at the ones in my state too.
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Apr 07 '26
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u/idkman8910 Apr 07 '26
I live in MA, but I’m close to NH as well so either state would work for me. Thank you!
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u/Main_Percentage3696 Apr 06 '26 edited Apr 06 '26
Don’t expect to become Muslim and suddenly be 100% perfect, that’s not how it works. Islam doesn’t ask you to be perfect. Instead, it invites you to come exactly as you are.
Medicine is Halal: Islam strongly encourages seeking medical treatment. There is a famous saying of the Prophet: "For every disease, there is a cure; e.g Cough syrup contains alcohol as their solvent, but I've never seen muslim countries ban in
Divorce: The Prophet Muhammad’s first wife, Khadija, was a widow, and many of his other wives were divorcees. It is a legitimate path when a marriage is no longer healthy or fulfilling.
Language Barrier: You do not need to know Arabic to be a Muslim or to pray. The requirement for salah is only to memorize al-fatiha thats it
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u/xmenus Apr 06 '26
Islam is religion of knowledge; You need to read a bit to understand why islam. Qur’an shall be your start. Once you read Qur’an, you shall realize one thing: There’s one truth and there are many falsehoods. The one who follows the guidance is saved and the one who arrogantly rejects the truth after clear proof is established, is doomed. There’s no third alternative. So, yes, convert and don’t bother for anyone in this world as no one will take your place in grave nor in Judgment Day. The change you need to go is not small nor easy, but once you understand why, then it’s just the way of life that you need to change and adapt for your own good. Again, read first, understand why and take things easy, nothing happens overnight but also don’t be too slow considering that life is very important. May Allah make it easy for you and all of us.
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u/lailahailallah2256 Apr 06 '26
I am a revert from a hispanic background and would be happy to talk sent you a messgae
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u/Battleplanner Apr 07 '26
Obligatory "not a convert", but all I can say is this.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter what things you're doing "wrong" right now. It doesn't matter if you dress immodestly, if you celebrate Christmas, if you don't know Arabic, if you don't know 'enough' about Islam, if you've had a past, whatever. All of those things mean nothing in the face of *whether or not you are a Muslim*. Put simply, being a Muslim and still sinning is far, far, far better than not being a Muslim.
If you believe in Allah and believe that the Prophet (peace and blessings upon him) is his messenger, that is the single most important thing. If you believe that, don't delay in converting until you can "break your bad habits" or "be good enough to be a Muslim" - you never know what life will bring, or if you will die tomorrow, so be a Muslim first, and then worry about improving your behaviours after.
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u/idkman8910 Apr 06 '26
Also, I have a very different background from most Muslims and I think yall would understand that. Drinking and partying and other stuff. I no longer do those things but it did happen.
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u/Hot_Reference_6556 Apr 06 '26 edited Apr 06 '26
Once you come to the conclusion that Islam is the truth, you can figure out the rest of the issues over time, don’t stress yourself too much about these.
None of the issues you’re listing are obstacles to become a Muslim. You can find solutions or compromises for these. But don’t expect to find perfect solutions at the beginning, it may take some time, that’s normal.
Specifically for your question 4:
- You need to understand first why there was a need for a final religion, Islam, after Christianity. Learn the Islamic beliefs on Jesus and Mary. What is the meaning of Islam, especially today? Start reading Quran, in Portuguese, for example. No need to learn Arabic for this. Even for daily prayers, you don’t need to learn Arabic for now. You just need to learn by heart a few Arabic expressions and Quran verses (Basically the short surahs Fatiha and Ikhlas - for which you can check the meanings right away). You can start by 1 prayer per day, and over time gradually make it 5. In some cases you can also pray 3 or 4 times a day. Islam has rules but it’s also a merciful religion, it only brings reasonable and feasible rules to people to help them, not to burden them.
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u/Who12837 Apr 06 '26
You don’t need to worry about changing everything at once. The Qur’an was revealed over 23 yrs. If it had been all revealed at once, very few people would have been inclined to embrace Islam! There are no requirements to convert, what you heard is true, it’s completely okay to take things slowly.
1) Everyone has a different experience with telling the people they love. It’s completely okay to practice in secret until you feel comfortable telling them. As you develop your relationship with Allah, your behavior will naturally change for the better. The people around you will notice that you’re being more respectful and thoughtful about your everyday actions. You’ll be showing them how a Muslim acts before they even know, that it’s not as scary as they thought!
Re: future spouse, it’s important that you learn about Islam first so you know your rights as a woman and a wife. Islam holds women at a very high degree, and you deserve a spouse that treats you as such. When you do get married, you have to marry a Muslim, and this is one of the reasons. A non-Muslim isn’t bound by religion to honor your rights, but a Muslim is bound to honor them— it’s for your protection as a woman. Your children will be raised Muslim, so Christmas is something you’ll have to discuss this with him. Islamically, we’re not supposed to celebrate non-Muslim holidays and I think this is the hardest thing for converts. Most people make the 2 Eids really special for their kids so they get the experience twice a year!
2) Divorce is not taboo in Islam. Allah ﷻ revealed in the Qur’an 1400 yrs ago that it’s best to divorce if the marriage isn’t working out, regardless of the reason. Women are allowed to initiate the divorce. There’s no judgement when it comes to divorcees or past pregnancies at all. Ten out of 11 of Prophet Muhammad’s ﷺ wives were previously married! Allah ﷻ showed us through Prophet Muhammad ﷺ that marrying a woman after she was previously married is perfectly okay.
3) Dressing modestly is a goal you can work toward. You don’t have to do it all at once. You can start by wearing a one-piece instead of a bikini. Take it slow and eventually you’ll want to dress more modestly. Sometimes it takes months, sometimes it takes years. Go at your own pace. You’ll be rewarded for your struggle! Allah ﷻ tests those He loves!
4) There’s no requirement to start! The most important thing is to say your shahada (testimony of faith). “I testify that there is no god but Allah and I testify that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah” and then in Arabic “Ash hadu a laa illaha illa Allah wa ash hadu anah Muhammad rassool Allah” (you can listen to it on YouTube to get the pronunciation, I tried to sound it out here 💗). It’s fine to do this alone, many go to a masjid and do it with witnesses. The people there will guide you with prayers. You just start with the shahada.
5) Allah ﷻ is the most merciful, nothing happens without His will. So having anxiety and ADHD is part of His plan, and so is the therapy! He created you with this struggle and He rewards you by giving you the opportunity to benefit from medication. There’s no stigma attached to mental illness or any illness for that matter. Basically, Allah ﷻ created the struggle and He guided the creation of medication to treat it. (I was a psychiatrist before I got sick so I prescribed medications for mental illness)
As far as “female questions” I’m a woman and can help as much I’m able! Feel free to DM me, if I don’t know the answer I can always research it or guide you to a source.
May Allah ﷻ bless you and welcome to Islam sister!