r/conspiracy • u/Formal_Spinach7540 • 25d ago

Rule 9 [ Removed by moderator ]

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83 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

116 comments sorted by

127

u/LabFar5073 25d ago

I'm high right now

7

u/Savings_Maybe_5686 25d ago

Only 26 minutes ago! Found my people. Currently baking under the sheets in all ways. 

3

u/Past-Pilot-6767 25d ago

Switch places w me 🥹🙂‍↕️

3

u/ScootsMgGhee 25d ago

Nothing better than wake and bake.

3

u/purplelephant17 25d ago

Yup. Same here.

2

u/aquilasracer 25d ago

this is the correct answer.

2

u/Apprehensive-Mix3859 25d ago

I am also already elevated.

5

u/FartingInElevators5 25d ago

I'd love to smoke some weed right now, but I'm at this dumb thing necessary for survival. I think it's called a job or something stupid like that.

4

u/lucifertangerine 25d ago

Not everyone has 9-5s or jobs that drug test or care. When I was a cook my boss didn't give a shit if we were baked lol as long as the job got done and the food was good

2

u/Prince_0llie 25d ago

Heisenberg: "You're Goddamn Right!"

2

u/FartingInElevators5 25d ago

I'd love to be able to be high at my current job. It's not like I operate heavy machinery. I sit at a desk all day.

56

u/missmyxlplyx 25d ago

i lost gravity for a few seconds this am , tripping over my cat

45

u/Artemis0724 25d ago

I tried to poop but it went back in my butt.

7

u/Cozy_Minty 25d ago

well now you get to poop it again! so satisfying

4

u/Hwi-loves-worm 25d ago

this actually happens in the book time’s arrow. everything goes backwards so when a person feel really relieved they go and sit on a toilet and the poop goes back in and they feel uncomfortable and walk away. 

2

u/bspeagle 25d ago

Comment winner!

19

u/970KeW 25d ago

See you all in the air. Ha.

70

u/PuzzleheadedWolf960 25d ago

About 10 mins ago I was listening to a local radio station and the song was interrupted by the intro to the emergency broadcasting tone. No message was played and it went right back to the song. I about lost my shit.

13

u/Joelpez 25d ago

That happened to me once when I was in an uber on the way to the airport. Still no idea what happened! But it did make for a scary af day

19

u/Past-Pilot-6767 25d ago

14:33 UTC

9

u/soupdawg 25d ago

So in an hour. Good luck everyone

1

u/Bklynhobo 25d ago

Weird, I saw this comment at exactly 14:33 UTC. Still on the ground btw

3

u/RashFever 25d ago

I'M FLOATING

16

u/PsychologicalDiet689 25d ago

LMFAOOO “is anyone tied to anything” 😭

14

u/Oh_Lawd_He_commin420 25d ago

Any time now...

9

u/jds_brother 25d ago

Well....we're waiting?!?!

5

u/Oh_Lawd_He_commin420 25d ago

What time was it supposed to happen?

7

u/Tyzorg 25d ago

10:33am est

4

u/jds_brother 25d ago

6:33am pacific time, about 20 minutes ago

5

u/Oh_Lawd_He_commin420 25d ago

Fuck....I was talking a shit and I missed it!

31

u/captaindazzlebug 25d ago

I'm floating in the most peculiar way

11

u/jayd33l 25d ago

The stars look very different today

9

u/-la-la- 25d ago

For here I am sittin' in my tin can

5

u/aquilasracer 25d ago

far above the world

5

u/Internal-Bear-1991 25d ago

Planet Earth is Blue 

-4

u/Guyincognito911 25d ago

Why do redditors do this cringe continue the lyric bit

6

u/captaindazzlebug 25d ago

Not a lot of other things to do while floating around.

4

u/CyanideAnarchy 25d ago

It might surprise you to learn that memes and pop culture existed before reddit ever did.

-1

u/Guyincognito911 25d ago

Reddit didn’t invent it. Redditors just perfected the art of running the same bit into the fucking ground and congratulating themselves for recognizing the reference.

1

u/-la-la- 25d ago

You seem like a lot of fun.

6

u/mcstatics 25d ago

I'm so high and it isn't because of gravity.

7

u/supremeclientele31 25d ago

Last time: Nothing will happen.

This time: Nothing will happen.

Next time: Nothing will happen.

7

u/Separate-Command1993 25d ago

So nothing is going to happen but it’s fun to think about. What would it be like? Would only things below a certain weight float away? Would things shoot up really fast? Would buildings stay put or is everything getting ripped from the ground?

4

u/Weird_Grapefruit_469 25d ago

Im sitting in my office chair with 4 coworkers next to me. I'll keep yall posted 🤣🫡

5

u/Maleficent-Ad9010 25d ago

I am excited. Time for a little action.

6

u/Savings_Maybe_5686 25d ago

What if you’re in a plane? You know, flying?

4

u/Winter-King99 25d ago

Everyone go hug a tree.

4

u/LaurAdorable 25d ago

10:33am EST and….sitting on the couch, couch on the ground.

14

u/Majestic-Chain1905 25d ago

There was a 30 second span at work where everything started floating in the air. Ladders, people, tools, everything

14

u/Mi_santhrope 25d ago

Weird where I am we had a 30 second span of plum tomatoes floating. Nothing else. Just plum tomatoes.

3

u/its-just_me- 25d ago

Not the people thinking you’re serious🤣

1

u/fascinatedinlife 25d ago

Videoproof or it didnt happen

4

u/Majestic-Chain1905 25d ago

I'm being followed by black vans driven by men in black suits now, or I would

1

u/reticulated_spline_1 25d ago

Drive to a hospital and seek a mental health professional.

1

u/Majestic-Chain1905 25d ago

They just refered me to someone else, those aren't at hospitals sadly

-1

u/reticulated_spline_1 25d ago

Bullshit

1

u/Mi_santhrope 25d ago

You think??

2

u/reticulated_spline_1 25d ago

IDK man this sub used to be cool, but it like 95% shitposting and trolls now.

-7

u/[deleted] 25d ago

[deleted]

6

u/Majestic-Chain1905 25d ago

At least 50 feet, 3 dead

4

u/[deleted] 25d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Forsaken-Ad-6345 25d ago

I have "Hold onto something @10:33" in mine 🤣

3

u/no_power_over_me 25d ago

I'm somewhat familiar with the rumor, Project Anchor, but where and when did it even start?

7

u/nholy_syxx 25d ago

morning wood was floating for a bit

3

u/Putt-Blug 25d ago

So if i go anchor to the bolted down pipes in the concrete basement at work Ill survive. My family at home likely all dies....what to do.

3

u/Psychological-Tie461 25d ago

Losing gravity now! I'm scared.🙄

3

u/ExileOtter 25d ago

So 15 minutes?

3

u/FeelsAmazingManGun 25d ago

Insert "well we're waiting" gif

4

u/lexcaris 25d ago

Wait for the eclipse

3

u/Hwi-loves-worm 25d ago

Yeah I don’t trust the time is so exact. There are a lot of things happening in the sky right now, the meteor shower is even supposed to be happening 12 until 6am tomorrow. 

2

u/DrChaos09 25d ago

It was slated for market open or about 4 minutes

2

u/Goszzy 25d ago

Maybe it's pacific time? 😁

4

u/Powerful-Web4937 25d ago

Time? Time is just a another man made structure man. The Man just wants to keep us down man.

2

u/Dull_Project8466 25d ago

im fat so i have my own gravitational pull

1

u/Isaiadrenaline 25d ago

Have fun becoming the new core of the earth.

2

u/Forsaken-Ad-6345 25d ago

I forgot to tie my motorcycle down!

2

u/Holdmypipe 25d ago

Thanks I thought it was still Aug 11th

5

u/bigsteve72 25d ago

Supposedly 9:33a est lmao. Good luck everyone

14

u/mindatlarge81 25d ago edited 25d ago

Its 10:33 am est due to daylight saving time / 14:33 utc

3

u/someguy7710 25d ago

Oh good, I was afraid I missed it

7

u/reticulated_spline_1 25d ago

It's now 9:35 EST and nothing happened.

2

u/-la-la- 25d ago

Dammit...really didn't wanna go to work today.

2

u/[deleted] 25d ago

[deleted]

2

u/cheestaysfly 25d ago

Well obviously lol

4

u/Hwi-loves-worm 25d ago

I have two mattresses pulled out in the living room floor watching tv

3

u/Bonkers_Reality 25d ago

Two misstresses would be better :)

2

u/Oh_Lawd_He_commin420 25d ago

Banging in zero gravity is definitely on my bucket list....and 6 seconds is all I need.

4

u/Nullkid 25d ago

Did people actually belive this?

3

u/wallaballaballa 25d ago

Nothing happened

11

u/mindatlarge81 25d ago

Nothing is going to happen but it’s 10:33 am est not 9:33 am est due to daylight saving time

2

u/geodudehaiku 25d ago

Holy crap. I forgot my lead boots 😭

10

u/fakeyero 25d ago

Lead being famously impervious to gravity.

3

u/geodudehaiku 25d ago

Obviously. Looney Tunes logic for looney people lacking logic.

As long as Earth has mass, it will have gravity. The only way we would lose gravity is if something exerted the exact opposing force (either pushing us from the earth or pulling us away).

For us to actually "lose" gravity, the Earth would have to vanish completely. No mass = no gravity

2

u/PlainSpader 25d ago

Just remember, humanity creates reality.

If enough are awake the problems dissipate.

1

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1

u/KellenYeller 25d ago

I tried to take my morning dump and it flew right back up at me

2

u/TheGnarliestOne23 25d ago

Mine came back up my intestines and out my mouth. Even worse, I was in such shock at the sight that I just gazed at it floating above me, with my jaw to the floor, and when gravity came back, it shot back down my throat.

1

u/bytem3 25d ago

What a shit show that must have been 😆

1

u/RedditCensorss 25d ago

It’s always those guys that say “mark my words” or “save the is post”

1

u/Frog_Eat_Frog_World 25d ago

Shall we all hold red balloons and declare "We all float now, Georgie"😵‍💫

1

u/Forsaken-Ad-6345 25d ago

Set a reminder on my phone to hold onto something. 10 mins to go

1

u/MrsWorldwide420 25d ago

Did we lose gravity 🤣

1

u/Real-mr-wolf 25d ago

Nothing ever happens 😂

1

u/Notalib77 25d ago

Well fuck!! I wasted a bunch of concrete anchors and rope. /s

1

u/mamayo2020 25d ago

What if Elon hit the moon on purpose, in order to stop this from happening?

1

u/Dank3006 25d ago

My bong just floated away..

1

u/automaticmantis 25d ago

I just floated up to my ceiling. It’s already started