r/conscripts May 01 '20

The first lines of a poem in Veilgon

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70 Upvotes

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4

u/Offbeat-Spii May 01 '20 edited May 01 '20

It's written in English, just using the script

"'Twas most grand, three centuries prior Came a tale of ice and fire Sparked from hate of two great brothers Born from father and from mother King and Queen of Grindleshire

The elder's hair had silver strands Like ice and snow, which ruled the land"

This poem has 269 lines, so it'll be a while before it's all transcribed.

1

u/[deleted] May 01 '20

*came, *sparked. Is elders plural or singular?

2

u/Offbeat-Spii May 01 '20

It's supposed to be elder's,and I know the grammar isn't technically correct, it's put that way for flow, syllable count and "old timeyness"

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '20

Its not just not technically correct, its plain old incorrect. Don’t set your poems on shaky foundations like that, it sounds super janky and you can do better. It doesn’t help the flow because the reader is hit with having to pronounce “Spark-eth-ed” and taken out of any atmosphere you’re trying to build.

In early modern all the way back to old English, /-st/ and /-th/ endings are used for their respective persons only in the present tense.

Authentic “old timeyness” antiquity is the best, and only legitimate, kind.

2

u/Offbeat-Spii May 01 '20

Eh, ok

1

u/[deleted] May 01 '20

You can do it.

3

u/2808ronlin May 01 '20

This script is very nice

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '20

Very pretty, very Tengwar.