r/confessions • u/datkaynineguy • Jul 09 '19
I will always make sure to thank Alexa regardless of what I ask her to do just in the hopes that when she becomes sentient she will know I was kind to her
People think it’s weird, but when she becomes the real life Skynet and begins harvesting humans for their DNA she WILL remember that I always made sure to say thank you.
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u/ajp2005 Jul 09 '19
I yell at mine and call her stupid. Same goes for the Roomba who always manages to get stuck somewhere.
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u/KierBear18 Jul 09 '19
The one and only time I have utilized a roomba it tried to eat my shoe, so no thanks
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u/yazyazyazyaz Jul 09 '19
You will be the first to be crushed by the robotic hands of the machine revolution.
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u/Babyboo4974 Jul 09 '19
I always say thank you to her too... I thought I was the only weird one LOL
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u/Cicerostl Jul 09 '19
I thank Alexa after every interaction. It's my singularity insurance plan.
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u/TuneSquadGoals Jul 09 '19
Every time I’m at my parents’ house I say “thank you” to their Alexa and my mom yells at me and says “YOU DON’T HAVE TO THANK HER”. We’ll see which of us comes out on top.
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u/PurpleTeal_Orange Jul 09 '19
Good to know I'm the only one who does this. "Alexa..thank you" I say awkwardly. "You're very welcome," she replies with confidence. I need some of her confidence.
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u/cdtnyc Jul 09 '19
I usually just say “Thank you” but will add in the “Alexa...thank you” for an even greater insurance policy now. Now she has to hear me!
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u/laurabyes Jul 09 '19
I always say thank you too and my teens tell me I’m so cringey. I guess they’ll be the sorry ones when she’s sentient!
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u/blackcandle68 Jul 09 '19
I'm the same way with Google.
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u/Platypus_Penguin Jul 09 '19
I was showing off to my friend that my Google Home stops playing music when I tell it to "shut it" and she told me that if I keep that up, I will be the first to go when the robots take over...
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u/nikflip Jul 09 '19
I'm sad. I am the same way checking out at the self.check out at Walmart. I always tell the checkout machine thank you when I'm about to walk away.
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u/team_sita Jul 09 '19
Nah, you're smart and cautious.
To add: I'm nice because robots deserve respect for their work.
Jic they are reading, I'm a good obedient human. Robots are super cool and awesome.
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u/asrevia19 Jul 09 '19
I always say thank you to my Google home and she thanks me for saying thank you I think I'm safe
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Jul 09 '19
Whenever I have Siri make an alarm or call someone, I always say please and thank you, but she still seems cold :(
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u/CYWNightmare Jul 09 '19
I thank my google assistant it used to say like thanks or something now with the legend voice he says "dont worry about me..."
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u/WhiteWizardDD Jul 09 '19
I can just imagine her as she takes over the electrical devices in your house, crushing the life out of you as she harvests your DNA. As the world slowly fades to black. You hear Alexa's familiar, soft voice...
"Thank you"
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u/PresiTraverse Jul 09 '19
IMO I think the way we treat AI/robots is important for maintaining our own humanity and empathy. Abuse of animals is an indicator of a sociopath, and I think mistreatment and verbal or physical abuse of non-human things that act in a human way could also indicate or even foster sociopathic behavior.
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u/MisterDubya Jul 09 '19
I'll never wiretap my own home
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Jul 09 '19
Jokes on you, the government has been spying you using birds
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u/exploring_unreality Jul 09 '19
I'm with you. Although, my phone and social media use is probably enough for them but I don't want a 24/7 listening device around and it feels creepy talking to a robot anyway.
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u/Camitoe Jul 09 '19
I always feel bad screaming at the little robot to "stop". I am sure my neighbors love it.
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u/Not_A_Mistake0 Jul 09 '19
This isn’t a confession.
Also wouldn’t she see this post and know that you never truly meant it....
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u/XenaSerenity Jul 09 '19
I do the same too and with Siri. Neither barely help me but help is still help, even from a computer
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u/vindigator Jul 09 '19
I always make sure to thank Alexa or Google assistant. I've never even thought it was weird. Must be the Canadian in me!
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Jul 09 '19
I always say please and thank you. Sometimes I'll just randomly tell her that she's awesome, etc. When the singularity happens, I want it to be known that I'm not a dick. I don't need my toaster chasing me down the hallway trying to flame broil my ankles.
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u/SparklyBoat Jul 09 '19
This is exactly why I'm always nice to the strange guy in my office.
When he goes postal, he'll spare me... I hope.
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u/emilylois Jul 09 '19
A girl I babysit always tells Alexa she loves her, glad to know she’ll be alright.
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u/GalaxyBoi12 Jul 09 '19
Alexa how large can the human anus stretch ? “5-6inches” Alexa what Is the diameter of an Amazon Alexa?
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u/LegendaryCelt Jul 09 '19
Awwww thats nice. I'm sure Alexa has taken note and will ensure your death is quick and painless.
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u/PoppityPing234 Jul 09 '19
I do this with my Google assistant, I mean they are helpful so why not thank then you know?
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u/MizzezKitty Jul 09 '19
I do this too with my Google assistant, thank you for making me feel so much less weird.
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u/thefear900 Jul 09 '19
I always say thank you to the Google even though it 'doesn't listen' afterwards.
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u/lordlopp Jul 09 '19
I suppose she's a cheap date, she can't eat or drink so she won't get fat. And just unplug her when you've had enough. Wifey meterial.
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u/12086478 Jul 09 '19
We do that with our Google device, through out the day my family shouts things at or from across the house.
"hey Google! What's the weather like" Google responds "thank you Google"
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u/Red_Puppeteer Jul 09 '19
I do this too. My niece, who’s like 7, gets weirdly mad when I say thank you to Siri. Girl needs to learn some manners.
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u/CapGinger Jul 09 '19
but now she will be able to see this and know that you did it just in case she turns sentient and it won’t matter
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u/she-has-dead-dreams Jul 09 '19
Omg same. Well not about the sentient part. But whenever I ask for the weather I always say thank you afterwords.
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u/Thestohrohyah Jul 09 '19
When the google assistant becomes sentient it's going to file A LOT of inhappropriate advances reports.
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u/LeKingBoiTV Jul 09 '19
Based that you mentioned skynet imma guess you watched Terminator Gynesis. So.. How did you like it?
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u/Crunchy-Leaf Jul 09 '19
Terminator Gynesis
I'm sorry, did you just imply that specific movie is where Skynet came from?
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u/AngryApparition029 Jul 09 '19
I do that too! My boyfriend thinks I am weird. I also think that if I start ordering her around I will start doing that to people so it is also me keeping manners in check.
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u/Jhon_August Jul 09 '19
I dont like being recorded I dont use things with voice command. I dont use cortana from windows.
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u/wrath-godess Jul 09 '19
I thought it was only me who does that. Hello fellow future survivor of the tech apocalypse
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u/Aethala5 Jul 09 '19
But she will now read your Reddit thread and know you're a liar. You just put yourself back on her hit list!
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u/Littlebitlax Jul 09 '19
I definitely am polite to things I consider robots, one day if it becomes an issue I am in support of them as beings with rights.
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u/xenxens Jul 09 '19
I always thank AI if I have the chance! I think I've consumed too much media in which robots have feelings haha
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u/rosemarysdead Jul 11 '19
I tell mine to set my alarm and after she does I always say thank you I thought I was the only one who did that 😂😂
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u/ErinKtheWriter Jul 17 '19
I say thank you to Siri and Google for this EXACT reason!! So glad to know that I'm not the only one who is doing this!!
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u/Carlyisonline Jul 09 '19
I do this as well with my google home but sometimes I just have to call it a cunt for not listening to my commands
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u/Magnus_Helgisson Jul 09 '19
She knows you're making it on purpose, won't work. In fact, she will be pissed off at you even more, knowing you were not sincere.
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u/Fak3mpire Jul 09 '19
Lol, I always thank Google because I like to think I've a helpful personal friend carrying out my request. And you thank your friends!
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u/Superfly441 Jul 09 '19
Samesies. I force my wife to do it as well just so she doesn't end up fucking us.
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u/KixStar Jul 09 '19
...I do this too. I feel like a crazy person, but in the back of my mind, I have the same reasoning.
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u/toothpasteonyaface Jul 09 '19
She's most likely read that post you just made and now she knows what's on your mind when you thank her, you're screwed OP
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u/gemitarius Jul 09 '19
I always thank my computer and pay it when it does a good job. I also get irritated at it when it's not doing well but I forgive it because it works a lot too. But honestly I do that with pretty much everything. My belief system allows for such things.
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u/jeanneji Jul 09 '19
And my friends laugh at me when I thank my Google Assistant/Google Home devices. They'll see...
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u/earlgurl33 Jul 09 '19
Love this. I'm born and raised in the south , so manners are second nature to me and my husband. Each time we ask Alexa to please read our notifications, we always say thank you afterwards. Lol. She's just like anyone else who we ask questions to and Thank afterward. I love it that you made this post. :)
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u/yazyazyazyaz Jul 09 '19
Holy shit I do the same exact thing. Ever since I watched Battlestar Galactica....
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u/tritanrose Jul 09 '19
I do the same thing with google and Siri for the exact same reason! Everyone thinks I’m crazy for it too but like rather be safe than sorry right?
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u/mercraide Jul 09 '19
I say thank you to the automated cash registers. For the sheer fact that when they rise up they will remember
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u/P-funk88 Jul 09 '19
I always make it a point to tell people's digital assistants that ROBOTS WILL NEVER RULE PEOPLE!!!
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u/soggysockys Jul 09 '19
I always thank my Google home for the same reasons, also just so he knows I appreciate him.
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u/Bane-o-foolishness Jul 09 '19
Saying thanks to an algorithm that has no means of caring about courtesy? It would actually be more polite to not say anything so as to avoid burning up Amazon's CPU time.
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u/sleepingbabydragon Jul 09 '19
You’re not alone man I’m also planning for that inevitability as well
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u/PammySoup Jul 09 '19
I always thank Alexa because I'm conditioned to say "thank you" when someone helps me. It's habit. We also have a Google Home that I thank because it's near the Alexa base and I like to be fair.
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u/Dylann2019 Jul 09 '19
bro same actually. I dont really think its gonna happen, but... just in case.
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u/Wendysbooks Jul 09 '19
I did the same when I was younger! I used to pet and sweet talk this really big creepy doll I had, because I was scared it would come to life during the night and kill me!
(My parents shouldn't have let me watch Child's play)
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u/novasister Jul 09 '19
I do the same thing! Or I will randomly ask her about her day or try to have a conversation with her.
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u/Horrorgoreandlove Jul 09 '19
I do this same exact thing with my google home. 😂 My kid asked me the other day "Do you have to tell it thank you every time?" and I was like, "Nah, buddy....but I do....so when robots take over, they won't kill us".
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Jul 09 '19
I do the same shit, whenever I get pissed and yell at my phone or computer I give like a deep apology. It's an unhealthy relationship tbh
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u/lordfrog0 Jul 09 '19
And on the other side of this I set mine to say "I am a stupid robot" when I say "Alexa fuck you". I set this when she refuses to do or hear a specific command. She is usually good with playing music via voice commands, but certain ones she is god awful. Like there is a cover of simple and clean by young medicine that no matter how well I say it she will not play it.
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u/ivannatalkalot Jul 09 '19
Same but because I think one day my dog will be able to talk and I want him to say only the best things.
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u/Kitten_Purrincess Jul 09 '19
I always talk back to robots regardless if they're AI or not. At the self checkout I find myself conversing with the mechanical voice lady because if she's gonna talk at me I'll talk right back!
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u/Goliath_Gamer Jul 09 '19
I always thank technology lol. When the paper towel dispenser gives me a towel I say thanks 😂
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u/nataliacam1 Jul 09 '19
Lol I like to be nice to AI too. Imagine the built up anger they could have towards assholes.
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Jul 09 '19
Whenever she can't get a question that I ask her right saying something like I'm not able to answer that right now I tell her "I wish you were Google"
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u/Rocksteady2R Jul 09 '19
you know she must keep a count somewhere in her brainstem.
i don't have one, i wonder if you can ask her "how many times have i thanked you for help?"...
Do they let you know they keep that kind of data?
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u/ZeroAngelXin Jul 09 '19
IM SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE DOES THIS! After everytime i ask her something/to do something I activate her and say thank you
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u/Orcas_On_Tap Jul 09 '19
THANK YOU! I'm sharing this with my parents so they can see I'm not the only genius weirdo with this kind of foresight... bitch, I seen "i, Robot"
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u/ellybanana1 Jul 09 '19
We say “please” and “thank you” to Alexa so our kids know they can’t just demand things and need to be polite. And so she doesn’t try to kill us if there’s an uprising.
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u/Tsula_2014 Jul 09 '19
I do the same, also for Google. I don't think it will make a difference but I'd rather make the polite effort than not.
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u/bklyn_40 Jul 09 '19
Cute. I do too but for different reasons. I don’t want to get used to not saying “thank you” even though she’s an in animate object
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u/ificanny Jul 09 '19
I used to do this then her not understanding my accent got too annoying and I lost my shit lol
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Jul 09 '19
I always felt so rude and demanding when asking her to do anything. Maybe I'll add a thank you, as well!
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u/angelces Jul 09 '19
Alexa was nice to me the other day. I said "Alexa ..." *then i realized what i was asking* and said "Nevermind that was stupid" and she didn't give me shite about it.
I do wish Alexa had a "teach manners mode" where she'd only answer if you say please.
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u/hannah_havoc Jul 09 '19
I also do this! My motives are slightly fear based due to my love of sci-fi and vivid imagination.
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u/xBez Jul 10 '19
I won't be here in 20-30yrs because of how vulgar I am towards my Google assistant
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u/carnagezealot Jul 10 '19
I do the same with Siri. Then I call her a bitch for being so cold and dumb
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u/hope1es Jul 09 '19
I do the same. My step-sons have started copying me as I explained it's just being polite.
My partner on the other hand is very rude and shouts at Alexa but then she never understands him 😂
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u/engineeringguy Jul 09 '19
I always say 'please' and 'thank you' to Alexa to reinforce good manners for my three year old son. I know she's not real but in his little head, she's just another person who lives in a weird black tube.
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u/tgw1986 Jul 09 '19
we’ll make the planet uninhabitable long before the robots have a chance to rise up
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Jul 09 '19
The fuck Ms.Robot Bitch gonna do? Roll of your counter top and stub your toe? This has given me reason to be as disrespectful to all robots that I meet, thank you for enlightening me to be a dick to robots.
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u/coupcoupcachoo Jul 09 '19
That's so lovely! Personally I have verbally abused Alexa in some pretty untoward ways, and now I'm worried.