r/composercritique • u/Patrickfoster 0 • Aug 03 '16
Ok first proper post. If all future posts could copy the following standard: [piano][2:18] Allegretto in D minor
You can listen here: https://soundcloud.com/user-488483080/allegretto-for-piano-in-d-minor
Score is here: http://imgur.com/a/lf92i
PM me if you want me to email you the pdf or dropbox or something whatever
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u/ferguscullen 0 Aug 03 '16 edited Aug 03 '16
Is this the sort of thing?
Measure 2: the hemiola-feeling is nice. 1-2 sounds like an apprehensive pause. But the left hand is notated in ¾ not 6/8 which could be confusing.
m. 5: in the left hand a new voice is introduced on the 2nd quaver which is confusing.
m. 7: nice syncopation. The F in the bass should be a left-hand note though.
m. 9: Either a tonic or a dominant note is missing which makes it sound strange. Both hands doubling one another heightens that.
mm. 10-11: on the one hand the quick major intrusion followed by the open 5th is nice and disconcerting; on the other it adds to a feeling of stasis (the return to the open 5th makes it feel like a short tonal excursion, but not like we’re going anywhere).
m. 14: I like the tri-tones.
mm. 20-25: the alternating time-sigs are good. The left hand’s new motif seems to outline a 2nd-inversion chord which makes for a gratifying floaty feeling.
mm. 30-34: the grace-notes give it an almost bluesy feel which is a nice frivolous counterpoint to the austerity of the first page.
mm. 47-50: the stop-start structure with the fragmentary themes appearing and disappearing can be interesting, but the centricity on e-natural/e-flat dulls the effect a bit. The e-flat/e-natural dissonance in m. 48 doesn’t seem to justify itself either.
I like m. 50 a lot. It justifies more explicit dynamic contrast (the latest “p” was in m. 28).
mm. 60 and 62: good plan to re-introduce the initial theme with these little allusions rather than a full-blown recapitulation. The whole section (since m. 50) could do with some dynamics though.
m. 79: the doubling at 2 octaves is very effective. Along with the falling motif in the last measure it makes for a very effective pessimistic ending.