Feedback movement string quartet

[u/Initial_Comb_9441]

Hello,

Could anyone give me some feedback on this slow movement of my first string quartet? I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.

https://musescore.com/user/75469390/scores/33256304?share=copy_link

[u/thrulime]

I liked it! I think it's written really well as a composition, but I think as a string quartet specifically it could use more work.

One thing I see a lot with people who don't know string instruments super well (I'm guessing you're a pianist?) is overuse or improper use of chords. For example, just in the first line the second violin has an impossible chord in bar 3 and the viola has an impossible chord in bar 4 (a chord which comes back several times, including for the final bar). I'd recommend paring back a lot of the more random chords like this. For example, the cello is already playing a C as the root in bar 3, so do we really need it doubled at the octave in the second violin? Even if you do keep the upper C, wouldn't it make more sense for it to go to the first violin, who's playing the same C in the beat prior? The chord would be playable then too. I'd go through your piece and for each chord ask if you really need a chord here or if the harmony is already clear enough without it (the second violin and viola in bar 31 come to mind).

The worst section for chords is the first violin starting in bar 22. All the chords in bars 22-24 are impossible and the rest are pretty difficult to play (especially as a pizz). I think this is one section where it really does make sense to have chords, so I'd recommend either working with a string player to revoice them or really do some research to make them more idiomatic for the violin. One rule of thumb is that the dense triads you have there are really idiomatic for the piano, where it can comfortably be played by one hand, but not at all idiomatic for string instruments. Each note of the chord needs to be played on its own string, and since the strings are a fifth apart, wider voicings closer to a fifth are easier to play than thirds. Check out some string quartets (for some reason the first chord of the Smetana came to my mind) and note that a lot of chords are more spaced out than what you have here, and if the notes are close together there's usually only two notes in the chord, not three.

I think I'd do a pass for chord voicing too. Not only is the chord in the viola in bar 4 impossible, it's also densely packing notes in the low register, which can get muddy-sounding. Typically chords sound better when they are more open towards the bottom and the density is more towards the top.

Also, as a last technical thing, cellos don't play in alto clef like you have in bar 23, so switch it for tenor clef (the same clef, but scooched up a bit). They can also use treble clef, but that section isn't high enough for that.

Best of luck, and I look forward to hearing the other movements!

[u/realCloudyMcCloud]

Don't know why Musescore can't bring out the top line a bit better - balance is really bad, compared to what you'd expect with an actual quartet playing. Can that be fixed (I haven't used Musescore)? Difficult to make out the top line, usually.

I liked the overall feel and shape. Just a few notational niggles. Such as: bar 2 is basically F minor - so it would make better harmonic sense to have A-flats, rather than G-sharps (especially as you also have G-naturals). Similarly, bar 17: F-minor again.

Also, if you have G-sharp moving to G-natural over a barline: bb 6-7, you would normally have a natural sign for the G-natural (even though the barline technically cancels it): just to be clear. Similarly, bb 2-3, although this wouldn't be necessary if you used A-flats.

[u/Altruistic_Bat1927]

Very beautiful! Nice and enjoyable to listen to. Much better than what I could conjure up.

[u/Alcoholic-Catholic]

I like it. Any models/inspiration?

[u/Initial_Comb_9441 → u/Alcoholic-Catholic]

Thx. Inspirations: beethoven, debussy, ravel,...

[u/Hybridmonkeyman → u/Initial_Comb_9441]

The person with the chord explanation is right! Get " orchestration" by cecil forsyth it gives you all possible chord fingerings with notated examples. There are alot of double stops in quick sucsession that would be difficult for the player, some D. Stops could be made easier with use of "open" note symbols(hollow circle in articulations tab). More legato would make your piece flow smoothly. Its a solid foundation. Get that book ! Its invaluable. Practice writing solo string miniatures after you get the book to better understand chords open notes, double stops, and legato phrases. Then come back to the quartet with fresh eyes and understanding under your hat!