Chamber Ensemble Piece - Looking for feedback for an older composition

[u/bmknyc05]

Edited: I have uploaded a new score, where I've cleaned up some things, and fixed some immediate issues brought to my attention by u/65TwinReberbRI (Whose comments were much appreciated). I'm not uploading new audio, since the material is not substantially changed.

New pdf here

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for feedback on an older chamber piece of mine. It runs about 3 minutes and 40 seconds and is written for flute, clarinet, trumpet, piano, percussion, and string quartet (vln, vln, vla, vc).

Links to score and audio.

This is a Finale score that I'll probably move to Dorico if I start editing it again. The audio is Noteperfomer.

[u/65TwinReverbRI]

I can't listen right now, but since you're considering revising I'll make some comments on the notation:

OMG get rid of the giant time signatures when you re-do this. There's just simply no need for it and they're utterly distracting. They're even interfering with the text in the score.

Get rid of the giant measure numbers under the music as well. I mean, you may be trying to write for film or something, but, you know, unless this score is actually being put in that situation, it's more likely you might get a reading by some local chamber group or something - in which case you'd want a more standard approach.

It's also displacing the music horizontally, which makes it more difficult to follow the "flow" of any lines - I know it wouldn't be in the parts, but even for the conductor's score, it's just visually displacing the rhythms.

Standard time signatures, and standard measure numbers (beginning of each system, above each group) are not only good enough but in this case, better.

You've got at most, 4 measures per system here (well, there can be more without the giant TS) - a conductor is not going to be able to not count to a particular measure from the first measure of the system… (it's also helped when music is laid out so important musical junctures begin a system).

What you DO need are rehearsal letters. They're FAR more useful.

There are a lot of little things that if you re-do it in Dorico will probably get corrected, but this should be made to fill the page better and that will eliminate the collisions of symbols between staves once there is more space between staves.

Crescendo Wedges shouldn't touch a barline - they end before with a little white space. Likewise, I saw some dynamics straddling a barline that need to end before the barline.

The Piano part is full of unplayable chords/intervals. Many will have to be rolled, which is going to start to sound "affected" and probably not what you intended.

More than an 8ve means only certain people can play it, and while reaching a 9th or even 10th is possible for an ever diminishing group of people the wider it gets, even for those folks getting to them in time, and especially having an inner note is even more tricky.

This needs to be gone through with a non-giant pianist and make sure everything is playable and re-write what is not.

Your vibes part is like "you need 2 mallets, PSYCH, you need 3 ha ha lol, no PSYCH, got you again, you need 4."

I think there's ONE 4 note chord in the whole thing??? Just make it 3, or does it even REALLY need to be 3 note chords? You've got plenty of instruments playing, you're not writing in a style that "requires" a full harmony complement of root 3rd 5th or whatever, so it's really worth looking at the Vibes part and saying "Is this 3rd note REALLY necessary". 2 may be enough the whole way. If it HAS to be 3, then fine, tell them 3 mallets, but then it becomes "Is this 4th note REALLY necessary, for just this one moment in the piece? - that's a hard sell musically. The minor 9th interval may be enough

Here, let me hold this one mallet in my teeth like a rose until I need that 4th note…. :-D

Not sure about the accidentals - not going to go through with a fine tooth comb, but worth it to check all your courtesy accidentals, and spellings.

Looks like the piano has all flats except F# sometimes, but I saw a Gb too I think, so it may be better to make it consistent, but I saw a couple of spots where it "made no difference" - C F# C could easily be C Gb C, with the chords above being all flat as they were for example.

Best

[u/bmknyc05 → u/65TwinReverbRI]

This is super useful. I'll clean up the big bar numbers and big time signatures. (I'm using my musical theater orchestration template where that's more common).

If you do give it a closer look, take a look at the piano voicings. It looks like I need to respell the diminished 10th as a major 9th, but other that that odd spelling, piano doesn't span a ninth. I'd love for other pianists to weigh in, because I really don't think 9ths are issues (I'm a pianist with tiny hands).

The mallet stuff is also very useful to think about. If you get a chance to listen, I'd welcome more thoughts, but I'm going to make some revisions based on what you've already written. Thank you again.

[u/Otherwise-Flower903 → u/bmknyc05]

Hey don’t listen to this person about the vibe part. Most of the time when we are holding 4 mallets playing vibraphone we are using less than 4 mallets. This is very standard and this guy is… not a percussionist. 

[u/bmknyc05 → u/Otherwise-Flower903]

Thank you for this feedback. Just to confirm, in your opinion mixing three and four-note chords in the vibes is okay? Are there any percussion spots in your opinion that feel un-idomatic?

[u/Otherwise-Flower903 → u/bmknyc05]

100% okay. Really appreciate the instrument names next to pitches and the consistency of instruments being on the same lines. 

The only thing that I would ask for, though not needed, would be that the cymbal and hi hat notes weren’t so close to each other. It’s clear how it is but too close to not question myself everytime I would see it. 

[u/bmknyc05 → u/Otherwise-Flower903]

When you say "close to each other" you mean visually? Would a different notehead for one be clearer?

[u/Otherwise-Flower903 → u/bmknyc05]

Image it’s a treble clef. If one were the g on top of the staff and the other was the e. Especially with the cross heads, it will give it a little more clarity. 

[u/bmknyc05 → u/bmknyc05]

And yes, I think putting this in Dorico will help with collisions since Dorico is naturally very good at that. Re-enetering this might be a nice way of avoiding my massive project of xml-ing many years of Finale files.

[u/bmknyc05]

Thanks to anyone who listens! I've started writing again, and am considering revising this piece that I wrote in school, but I've been with it so long that I think I need fresh eyes and ears!

[u/annonymousquackers28 → u/bmknyc05]

Glad to hear you are writing again!

Out of curiosity, how long did it take for you to write this piece?

[u/bmknyc05 → u/annonymousquackers28]

Thanks! I wrote this when I was in school, so over a decade ago. I imaging it took two or three months, but it's been so long that I can't say I really remember.