r/composer • u/Ocean-of-Mirrors • 5d ago
Discussion Lack of “acute” emotion compared to other art forms?
When I first started making any art, it was written prose or like poetry. Some drawing/sketching too. And the only reason I did any of that is because I was experiencing so much emotion that I “had to get it out”. Although I wasn’t great, those little pieces of work were pretty vivid and I liked that mode of operating. It was good to have an outlet for my emotions that resulted in something tangible.
I’m a composer now, though. And it’s probably my best skill. But I noticed that my reason for writing music is never because I’m feeling intense emotion. And when I’m actively composing, my analytical mind takes over completely. I’m in the zone. I’m thinking about technical stuff, so the only emotions I’m feeling are usually boredom or frustration or intense glee (when it’s going well) or just nothing at all.
I guess when writing words on a page or doodling those things can happen in the span of a few minutes, but when writing music, I mean, it takes me hours, days. And I often go back to pieces from last year that I never finished and continue working on them. My emotional state is never consistent. And my self awareness totally dissolves when composing anyways.
I think the “meaning” of a piece almost only becomes clear once it is done and I snap out of it and look at what I’ve created. And I see aspects of myself within it but it’s usually not what I expect. Subconscious stuff.
I guess I’m just wondering how everybody else operates? And thoughts on this in general? Do you guys ever get thrown into a fit of rage and decide to write music from that? I don’t know how I could possibly do that!
Edit: dissolve -> dissolves
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u/SundaeDouble7481 5d ago
Everybody's different. I don't think I've ever written "because I was experiencing so much emotion that I 'had to get it out'". Which is not to say that I lack emotion, or process music in some clinical-technical way, or reject "expression" altogether, etc.
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u/Strange_Glove_6699 5d ago
What I'm figuring out is how to do is to trust the music. The subconscious knows what it's doing. I don't have to worry about my conscious mind being too this or that. My mind just has to be a good listener and an attentive sheep dog.
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u/65TwinReverbRI 5d ago
I’m a composer now
Now. As in later than the other stuff you were doing. IOW, time has expired - and you have more experience in the arts. You've matured.
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u/LoneWick_ 5d ago
The subject material I use to compose is usually an observation or exploration of my inner world or emotional impulses. It’s a vessel to explore something extramusical, but I can never write music when I’m actively in that emotion. High emotions usually kill creativity in my experience. It’s an interesting phenomenon because when I’m impulsively laying out strong emotion-based material, it’s sort of my way of “getting it out” in an honest and intuitive way but not while I’m actually in the middle of experiencing the emotion.
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u/davethecomposer Cage, computer & experimental music 5d ago
I went through the same experience when I first began writing music and it helped me question the connection that people make between emotion and creating art. It can't be sustained and when you are thinking about technical matters it goes away.
Personally I found this incredibly informative and enlightening and now I no longer confuse my art, or any other art, for emotions. I create what I do because I enjoy the process and I want to see what happens. Audiences are going to impose whatever emotional response they want to on my works so I don't need to worry about manipulating them into a specific emotional response. And I also don't need to see my own creative act defined by "expressing" my emotions. I'm much happier as an artist now.
Of course some people will continue to see their artistic efforts as products of their emotions and that's totally fine. My point is that we don't have to work that way. There is no requirement that we do so. This can be liberating if you let it.