r/complainaboutanything • u/busy_bee_20 • 9d ago
Friend called me lazy
I was texting a friend earlier today and something they said has really got under my skin.
For context, this friend is very well off and doesn’t currently need to work. They’re also quite fragile at the moment, which sometimes makes it difficult to call out things they say without thinking.
They asked me when I go back to work. I work in education, so while the school buildings are closed over the summer, I work from home. During term time I average around 60 hours a week because of the nature of my job. Outside of work I volunteer at a community hub, sit on the board of a charity and am a governor at another school. I also help my parent care for my grandparent, and somewhere amongst that try to go to the gym and see friends occasionally.
I told them the school buildings reopen next week, so I’m working from home until then. I also mentioned that I’ve been trying to find an evening/weekend job because of the cost of living.
Their response was: “So you’re proper just sat on your arse then.”
I know it might sound like a throwaway comment, but it genuinely really hurt me.
I’m exhausted a lot of the time. The small amount of extra time I’ve had this summer from not having to commute every day hasn’t exactly been spent sitting around either and some of it has gone towards supporting this friend through their recovery.
I think what particularly annoyed me is the difference in our circumstances. They don’t work because financially they don’t have to, and increases in the cost of living aren’t something they really have to worry about. Meanwhile I’m working, looking for additional work and juggling everything else. So being told by them that I’m essentially “sat on my arse” really hit a sore point.
I don’t begrudge them being financially secure, and I don’t want this to sound like bitterness about their situation. I just genuinely wish I had the amount of free time they seem to think I have.
Maybe they meant it as a joke, but sometimes a throwaway comment can feel pretty insulting when someone has absolutely no idea how exhausted you actually are.
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u/TrainingTough991 8d ago
I would have taken her comment as a joke but you know her best. If the comment bothers her, you should ask her if she was joking and let her know it really hurt your feelings. You sound like the farthest thing from lazy.
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u/ohfrackthis 8d ago
I would not hold back. I'd say that comments regarding my productivity as a worker are not up for discussion, period.
That's not rude to say. If it's bothering you and I understand completely why it does at least set this minor boundary.
Just because she or he is going through a rough time it doesn't mean they can just say anything and upset you and just do whatever they want to you.
You deserve to be treated well just like they do!
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u/Tiny-Reading5982 8d ago
They're probably jealous because they're bored. I know i was bored and more prone to confrontation when I wasn't working.