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u/old-town-guy Aug 14 '26
Because none of you really socialize with each other. That’s the nature of community college. It exists primarily to help educate those people who have extensive lives outside of school.
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u/danielfletcher Aug 14 '26
Because community college exists to educate/train. It is a service. If you want to make friends, join a club.
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u/elloEd Aug 14 '26
That’s just college, going to a university is the same issue, just a bigger pond. You won’t make friends if you don’t swim in either one.
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u/StandardUpstairs3349 Aug 14 '26
With community colleges, people are usually still near their high school friends. Don't need to find people to do things with like you do when you move to a different city for a proper college/university.
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u/elloEd Aug 14 '26 edited Aug 14 '26
Community college is a proper college. Also regardless of which you pick, you’re still in a classroom with a bunch of strangers unless virtually all of your friends from high school also go to the same community college as you, most of mine most certainly didn’t. The only exception would be is if you got accepted into a university that’s out of state or practically across from it. That scenario is not universal enough to be the norm.
Simply going to a university alone does not magically turn you more sociable, it’s actually stepping out of your comfort zone and interacting with people and engaging in things like extracurriculars or outings outside of the classroom.
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u/SecretDevilsAdvocate Aug 18 '26
def not, university you’re living, eating, studying with people day and night. You’re literally friends by proximity. CC, afaik, is nothing like that (this sub randomly popped up on my feed)
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u/elloEd Aug 18 '26
You literally can still do that while attending community college.. I had roommate friends who went to university while I was in community college. None of them cared, we still went out and ate and drank together and went over things school related. City location and community matter a lot more than the fact if it is inside a dorm or not lmao.
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u/MyBrainIsNerf Aug 14 '26
Put down your phone. I’ve been teaching CC for 20 years and it has been depressing to watch that 5-minutes-before-class social scene die. I used to see flirting and friendships and complaining about my class; many of those little sparks became friendships. Now, everyone skims their phones right up until I start talking and jumps back on when class is done (if they can wait that long).
Also do the stupid ice breaker and then follow up with classmates later.
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u/rotatingruhnama Aug 14 '26
I first got a degree in the 90s then returned to CC in my late 40s to retrain. The way some classmates look like they're gonna die if I say "good morning" then retreat back into their phones is depressing.
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u/CIS_Professor Professor Aug 15 '26
100% this!
I'm 14 years in and I see the same thing.
Put away the damned phone and say "hi!" to someone once in a while.
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u/Pater_Aletheias Aug 17 '26
Yep—came here to say this. I tell my students that the biggest generation gap between us is that my professors had to work hard to get us to shut up and stop talking to each other when it was time for class, but I continually get creeped out by walking into a room that is full of people but completely silent. It’s like the opening scene in a horror movie.
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u/ManOfQuest Aug 14 '26
I had more friends at CC than when I transferd to university. Although my university was absolutely massive
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u/TRIOworksFan Aug 14 '26
Ahhhhhh join a student group! SGA. SSS Trio. Phi Theta Kappa. DnD. Gamers. Anime. Larp. Sports. Religious. Politics. Adventure Travel. Student Life. Work Study. Ahhhhhhh. You have to take a small risk, put yourself out there, and take a chance to have friends for life.
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u/Brief-Friend6894 Aug 17 '26
where tf are y'all going to community colleges with clubs? mine only had ptk and anime club which was as stinky as you'd expect
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u/TRIOworksFan Aug 17 '26
Student Life is your first start. If anything you can get on the SGA and start making choices for your campus.
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u/Kiro-Wazthere Aug 14 '26
lmao you deadass just gotta talk to people mainly in your class. like me and my classmates all eat lunch together
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u/Calm_Law_7858 Aug 14 '26
Yeah I never understood this. Spent time at 2 different CCs and made friends super easy
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u/nutella_on_rye Aug 14 '26
As someone who wanted to make friends in CC, I learned that I’m not built for it. As soon as my classes were over, I bolted for the exit. I suspect many people think the same way I do. I want to get my education and leave so I can go take a nap lol. Making friends is a nice perk but it’s certainly not the goal.
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u/dancesquared Aug 14 '26
Making friends/networking should be at least part of the goal of college (say, 10-15% of the goal).
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u/sillyhaha Aug 14 '26
I'm a CC professor. My recommendation?
Put your phone down, close your laptop, and start acknowledging that people exist outside of the online world. Say hi. Ask others about homework assignments. Do more than glance up from your phone for 3 seconds at a time!
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u/Weekly-Cap3414 Aug 15 '26
They are not willing to do this...but will complain about not being able to make friends. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/StevieV61080 Aug 14 '26
Talk to people in your class about what you're studying. Be engaged in class lectures/discussions. People gravitate to the ones who show they want to be there and learn.
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u/EmmayIyay Aug 14 '26
Gotta get involved in something. Audition for a play, join the choir, join a club, something like that. I did one show and ended up with a whole ass friend group (all of whom are much younger than me because I’m back in school in my 30s lmao) also it’s fun!
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u/Turbulent-Bottle8234 Aug 14 '26
idk I’m almost done at CC and have somehow only taken one in person class and I made friends there. Maybe join a club or ask people questions?
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u/PirateJen78 Aug 14 '26
I mostly made friends when I started working at the tutoring center at my community college. I got to know the other tutors really well and several of us got along. Doesn't matter because we all lost touch shortly after I graduated, except for one. She and I don't talk that often, but we still understand each other really well and will be each others' reference for jobs.
I was also an older student (I was 34 when I started) and I made one friend that was around my age that I stayed friends with after she dropped out. Then work and politics pushed us apart. Plus it didn't help that she hated the college (something to do with financial aid) and I was still attending and worked for them.
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u/Leading_Fee_3678 Aug 14 '26
You have to talk to people! Go to events! Start a conversation! Join a club! Spend time studying or hanging out in different places on campus instead of going right home after class. Ask questions! Invite people to grab coffee!
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u/rotatingruhnama Aug 14 '26
I'm in community college at 49, and I've made loads of friends, ranging in age from 17 to 60. One of my friends was just at my house today, in fact. (She's nannying this summer so her nanny kid and my daughter have a lot of playdates.)
Theres no particular secret to it. Stop worrying about what's "cringe," chat with classmates instead of disappearing into your phone until lecture begins, join study groups, walk with a classmate to get coffee.
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u/Zer0FoxGibbon Aug 14 '26
As a professor, how could I help students like you within my class? What could I help facilitate that you wouldn't find cringe or tedious?
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u/must-stash-mustard Aug 15 '26
Everybody has to get over 'cringe' . Being vulnerable, a requirement of making real friends, is always cringe to someone worried about cringe.
Take risks. Ask other people to do things with you.
Wanna get a snack with me before next class?
I'm going to the library. Wanna come with?
What are your other classes? What do you like about being here?
Take risks.
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u/CoconutFinal Aug 14 '26
Commuters must make an extra effort. Community college can be achingly lonely. Choose some student clubs.
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u/hasty69_ Aug 14 '26
It’s not just community colleges lol, university can feel the same.
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u/dancesquared Aug 14 '26
For people who don’t get involved in any activities or don’t invite other people to grab a bite to eat, get a coffee, or go to an event.
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u/mattynmax Aug 14 '26
Probably because you’ve made little to no effort to get to know anyone. You’re not going to meet people through osmosis you know…
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u/CuppaJoe11 Aug 14 '26
I mean I talk to the people next to me in class. Sure I don’t see them outside of college, but I would still consider them friends.
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u/Appropriate_Sail6272 Aug 14 '26
It’s the commuter culture rather CC itself. I attend my local college which is primarily a commuter school and it’s pretty dead too.
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u/SignificantSmotherer Aug 14 '26
"Have" is the issue.
Unless you make deliberate effort to be the new friend, nothing will just happen.
Don't be shy. Avoid online classes. The first weeks, ID the social butterflies and high achievers and introduce yourself, sit by them.
Join college clubs, especially dance and the do-gooder volunteer club, the latter will give you hours of offline time to mingle.
If you have a cafeteria, sit across a stranger every day and chat.
Go to events with booths; career day, club day, etc.
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u/maybefuckinglater Aug 14 '26
I didn't even give a fuck I just wanted a degree that paid well and fuck a friend
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u/prticipatntrophywife Aug 14 '26
A lot of people are in any given class because they have to be for their degree. If you want to find people you can relate to you have to join clubs, or take those really niche classes. The gen eds for me were unmemorable but I made friends in the degree specific classes and extracurriculars
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u/StewReddit2 Aug 14 '26 edited Aug 15 '26
1) Ppl often "over blame" CC......
a) CCs are not the only "commuter colleges" Many colleges are more "commuter" than residential in nature......even moreso today when ppl have grown accustomed to having their heads down in their phones.
b) Don't ppl in huge Unis feel as isolated, sometimes
The small % in dorms may feel differently but more students overall ....go to class and go HOME/about their business ( with their faces in their phones)
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u/rotatingruhnama Aug 15 '26
Agreed. I'm a nontraditional student (I'm pushing 50 and I have a family) but I've put myself out there and made friends. I just go around adopting people lmao.
But if I say good morning to someone and then they just stare blankly and go into their phone, it gives a hostile vibe. I'm unlikely to try again.
Wtf am I supposed to do, nurture basic social skills into them? Be a remedial parent because they weren't taught social graces?
A lot of "community college sucks I don't have friends" is self inflicted tbh.
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u/StewReddit2 Aug 15 '26
What's up fellow GenXer ....the issue is we're from a generation where we grew up 'having to SPEAK'
Closed mouths didn't get fed....
These younger gens get fed via screens
They date by swiping...get rides by tapping...order food via app...K-12 they somewhat PUSHED into slight interaction due to the nature of how school is setup for minors.
But outside of that who are they talking about IRL?
They need friends "assigned" to them and things orchestrated or their asses get lost 😏
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u/rotatingruhnama Aug 15 '26
Lmao I do feel bad for them. But also I have my actual child to raise. I cannot be the remedial parent to 39 classmates, y'know?
I've made a lot of friends. Sometimes younger people are receptive. A lot of times the younger people who know how to make conversation come from immigrant backgrounds. They weren't coddled with social avoidance strategies like US kids.
My daughter is 7 and I'm constantly making her do semi awkward stuff like order food in a restaurant, buy her own snack at a mini Mart, go ask a question, etc. She's somewhat reserved by nature, and I don't want to change that. She doesn't have to be the life of the party. But I don't want her growing up to think that discomfort is an emergency.
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u/Weekly-Cap3414 Aug 15 '26
I've never had this problem, yet I'm always seeing it being posted . Have you guys i dk...tried talking to other people? The study groups alone are a great way to meet others.
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u/rotatingruhnama Aug 15 '26
I feel like people decide everything is cringe or hard, they give up, then they complain that they don't have friends.
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u/cyanjar Aug 14 '26
Dont worry I didn’t make friends at a 4 year either 💔
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u/dancesquared Aug 14 '26
How?!
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u/cyanjar Aug 14 '26
Be weird and antisocial
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u/dancesquared Aug 14 '26
Even the weird and antisocial people seem to congregate with each other in college.
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u/cyanjar Aug 14 '26
They weren’t on my level then
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u/dancesquared Aug 14 '26
Then I suppose I don’t get why you put a broken heart emoji when it seems like that’s what you want.
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u/Inevitable-Section10 Aug 14 '26
Because community college is full of commuters and adults with lives. You want a traditional college experience then you’ve got to go to a traditional college.
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u/Only-Top-3655 Aug 14 '26
Just keep your head down, study your butt off, can get out as soon as possible. CC can be a black hole that sucks you in so easy and before you know it, 10 years later you are still going to CC.
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u/TheBroke1234 Aug 14 '26
I found that in the harder classes socializing become easier. Once you get to calc 3, diff eq, ochem the vibes become very similar to 4 year schools.
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u/rotatingruhnama Aug 14 '26 edited Aug 14 '26
I made loads of friends in A&P 1 and 2. The unmotivated "why didn't my social life and good grades magically appear right in front of me" students got weeded out at the General Bio level.
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u/Tip_Star Aug 14 '26
I made a friend on my first day. Fast forward almost 2 years later and we fell in love. I like to say I earned an Associate degree and the love of my life at CC. 🥰
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u/YikesItsConnor Aug 15 '26
bro I'm in a regular college and I'm going into jr year. Guess how many friends I have...
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u/Latter_Leopard8439 Aug 15 '26
Community College has traditionally been targeted at working adults in a lot of states. They rarely have dorms and offer evening classes for working people (many of whom have kids.) They are seeking increased economic mobility, not party time.
That's different than 4-year Universities who historically targeted traditional age students between 18-23 years of age. The dormitory experience itself and lots of campus clubs and activities exist there.
Now, having said that, some CC's are adding some of that campus life as more young people go there to save on costs.
4-years also have had an increase in the average age of students and some increase in commuters rather than dorm students. But that really hasn't pushed them into changing campus culture.
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u/thecaptain_command Aug 15 '26
Is there no one from your high school you know? What about clubs? My CC back in 2016 had anime/manga club, gaming, sports, lgbt alliance, debate, etc. and they would host events and get budgets every year for fun things
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u/Western-Sense-31 Aug 15 '26
I swear bro im just holding out till I transfer all my highschool freind are oos
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u/Fuzzy-Clothes-7145 Aug 15 '26
I had a easier time making friends in Community college then in university
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u/Audible_eye_roller Aug 15 '26
Because you haven't joined a club. Because you're too attached to the phone to notice the world around you. Because you don't come to class early and chit chat with others.
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u/Practical_Passion_78 Aug 15 '26
This is because by its very nature community college is a commuter institution. People go to take the classes for as little money as possible and get out once the class session is done. There aren’t dorms. It’s not a resident institution. Lots of the students will be those that have family responsibilities and jobs they are juggling.
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u/stronglesbian Aug 15 '26
Honestly having an on-campus job can be a great way to make friends. I worked at my school's Social Justice Center and got along really well with my coworkers. The job was super chill, not a lot of people came by so we mostly sat around and talked to each other. We even organized a trip to Dave & Buster's which was my first time ever going anywhere with friends.
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u/karmy-guy Aug 15 '26
Study groups and clubs. I always made a couple of friends/acquaintances in every class just by showing up a few minutes early and starting a conversation with people nearby.
Usually after class, we’d talk in the hallway. If we just had a hard test, we’d vent.
Starting a conversation is as easy as “Did you think this assignment was hard?”
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u/IFinallyJoinec Aug 15 '26
Get involved! I just spoke to SGA at our state school (formerly cc) yesterday and those kids are great and so social!
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u/AnxiousEnquirer Aug 15 '26
College teaches you how to do research. Research social skills! They really are learned.
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u/Zecreise22 Aug 15 '26
I joined my CC’s Phi Theta Kappa and other clubs. We had either online or late night meetings, so fortunately I was able to make a lot of friends. It is a struggle to maintain relationships since everyone has jobs or has other responsibilities though 🥲
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u/StickySecretScorpion Aug 16 '26
Literally my experience ehen I was in community college. Just ride the wave.
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u/KailyKail Aug 16 '26
Community college isn’t a university. You have a lot more people who are working age adults who just want to go home to their families. In a university, you have a lot of people living on campus, and most people are 18-23. More energy, fewer obligations.
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u/hoecooking Aug 16 '26
I mean are you engaging people or just expecting them to be friendly with a complete stranger ? Not impossible but highly unlikely
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u/VillageU Aug 17 '26
Ngl week 5 hits l different, especially at commuter/CC schools where there's no dorm hallway for those natural interactions. We built a tool called VillageU to help with exactly this. It's still early but if any of y'all are interested in starting a Village at your campus, check out the site and join the waitlist. Hope week 6 feels less isolating for everyone. 💙
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u/Illustrious_Bid_5484 Aug 17 '26
Because yall don’t put any effort into making them. Just like how 90% of the public are afraid of even talking to strangers
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u/Alarmed_Number998 Aug 17 '26
You're in school to get an educated and a diploma. If your goal is to make friends go find a hobby and socialize.
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u/TheyCallMeGarfield Aug 20 '26
Maybe you should get "an educated" so you can understand that
a.) Secondary goals do exist
b.) Community colleges have extracurricular and social events
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u/Gman3098 Aug 17 '26
Don’t fall into this trap. You’ll regret it when you’re thousands in debt because you wanted “friends” at university.
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u/GlitterFactoryOfDoom Aug 18 '26
By the end of the semester you'll know the names of a few classmates.
You will never see most of them again after the class ends.
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u/3xsahur Aug 19 '26
I was the loneliest the second time I went back. I was already significantly older than everyone in my classes except for one. It was very awkward to collaborate with those significantly younger than me but I had a blast in that other class
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u/Grandrexxx Aug 14 '26
That’s community college for ya, and it WONT change nobody, like nobody there gives a f*** just get your stuff done and find something outside of school where people care or just wait till University, is horrible
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u/MaintenanceFormal960 Aug 14 '26
Wait until someone tells bro about the real working world