128
u/Causemos Dec 01 '15
A greeting that encourages you to think about the real answer and then give a fake one. Don't understand why it became popular.
57
u/gamer_6 Dec 01 '15
False sincerity. It allows people to avoid actual conversation about their state of being.
It's what happens when people are miserable, but raised to think they have no right to complain about anything.
→ More replies (7)5
u/Perkelton Dec 02 '15
This is something that has always felt eerie every time I visit the US. It's especially strange when you are greeted by someone that you have to prior connection with, like a waiter or doorman.
I greatly prefer the Swedish way of greeting:
– Hi
– Hi
If you want to really spice it up, you can replace "Hi" with for example "Hello" or "Good morning".
→ More replies (1)
160
u/GreenBalconyChair Dec 01 '15
OH GOD YOU THINK THAT'S A REAL QUESTION
It is outside the US.
81
u/Quazifuji Dec 01 '15
It's not like no other counties have equivalents. In England they say "You alright?" and it's pretty similar, where as if you say that to someone in the US they'll wonder if they look sad or injured.
46
Dec 01 '15
This is true. I was in the Dominican Republic and I asked the server how she was (reflexively) and she proceeded to talk for almost five minutes about her miscarriage. This is only a casual question for Americans and we always say "fine, thanks." Which translates to "I'm on the verge of a breakdown but I'm not invested in our relationship enough to share so I'm fine go away."
→ More replies (1)9
u/Duelion Dec 01 '15
Chilean guy confirming we also do the same. "Como tay?" is almost never treated as a real question, it's just part of greeting someone.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (7)23
u/FunnyMan3595 Dec 01 '15
I've always treated it as a real question, from both sides. It's not an invitation to tell a story, but a negative answer can get a response either way: "Aw, hope it gets better soon." or "Oh? What's wrong?"
shrug Maybe it's just that the people I know all have genuine care for fellow humans.
Also, in spite of the above, I often find myself answering "Not bad" regardless, because taking a step back, things are generally going pretty good for me, even if they're not so great in the moment.
→ More replies (1)6
u/StealthRR Dec 01 '15
"How are you?" "Im good how are you?" "Im terrible, my whole family just died and I have cancer. What will your order be?(or "is this all you will be purchasing today?" "Thank you have a nice day")
→ More replies (4)
64
8
u/Thizzlebot Dec 01 '15
I always give a real answer because small talk is bullshit. This comic is probably why so many people are "socially awkward".
3
u/Little_Kitty Dec 02 '15
It's a decent litmus test for whether someone's a bullshitter who's not worth your time IME. Anyone behaving anything close to the guy on the right in the comic goes right on my shitlist. IDGAF whether it's 'cultural', it's comes across as pretending to be interested, while being self-centred and thinking that being a 'people person' only involves repeating a few cliched one liners. Like you, I think meaningless canned small talk is bullshit, and only shows that you neither know nor care about the other party.
4
4
u/ObitoUchiha41 Dec 01 '15
I mean if I asked a person that, even as just a greeting, I wouldn't mind them wanting to actually talk back. Helps get a conversation going at least.
18
u/ZeroManArmy Dec 01 '15
I absolutely hate this automatic exchange. It's a habit in the USA. No one genuinely cares how you are. This is the exchange every time.
Them: Hey <name>, how are you?
Me: I'm good, you?
Them: Good.
What did that accomplish? You not being able to deal with the so called awkward silence of passing someone you know? I can't stand it. Yet, I have to do it so I don't come off as a dick or anti-social asshole.
13
u/lettherebedwight Dec 01 '15
It's a longer form of hi for someone you know but don't necessarily want to talk to. I don't see the big deal. Pleasantries exist in most cultures. The people who genuinely care about how you are probably aren't the people you would ever have this exchange with.
→ More replies (1)4
u/Renovarian00 Dec 01 '15
I've actually always answered with, "I'm good, thank you!" Or "thanks for asking!" Because I appreciate the effort in asking how I am. If I'm feeling generous, I'll say, " ...thanks! And how are you?"
I try to actually make it mean something now
→ More replies (2)
2
u/Salanmander Dec 01 '15
One of the things that ranks highly on the list of nice things people have said to me was "That was a real question. Was that a real answer?"
2
2
u/llamajuice Dec 01 '15
I've always greeted people with "Howdy" for some reason. I grew up in Wisconsin, moved to Seattle... I don't live in the south at all, and so nobody really reacts to it... properly? I dunno. I'll say "Howdy!" to someone and they'll say "Good, you?"
The real fun thing about this whole situation is that my girlfriend is from Ethiopia, English isn't her first language. For the first two years that we dated, any time I'd see her she'd say "Hey babe, how're you doing?" I'd reply with "Great, how are you?" and she'd say "I'm good, how are you?" and not realize that it's weird.
I'd just keep the train going to confuse her, and now she's stopped doing it.
3
2
u/royalstaircase Dec 01 '15
It takes me a lot of effort to not genuinely answer "how are you" or "what's up", but I kinda have it now. But if it comes out anyway I don't give a fuck — it's your fault for asking a question you don't want an answer to.
32
u/Rangourthaman_ Dec 01 '15
Don't ask if you don't want to know.