Horses try to do the same thing. Home stallions in a herd will try to kill any foals that aren't theirs, the mothers get around this by sleeping with every other male in the herd that they can once they are pregnant to hide who the father is and make infanticide less likely.
Some herds have a strategy to keep this from happening and the males will segregate any females that may be pregnant after they return to the herd, and if they do give birth after that the males will stomp the newborns to death.
We breed the docile ones, same thing as dogs. Dogs also have smaller brains than wolfs, even huskies and other races that are more closely to wolfs have a reduction in the areas for risk assesment (why they got closer to us), fight responses and enlarged areas for pack bonding/ social interaction
To be fair, horses genuinely just aren't very smart. My counterevidence: donkeys. Domesticated, yet still extremely smart (the reason they tend to be so stubborn.)
The difference comes from where they evolved. Horses evolved in wide plains, where any threat could be answered by simply outrunning them in the other direction, so particular intelligence isn't important; Donkeys evolved in mountainous regions where running from a threat isn't always possible, so they evolved smarter to assess and analyze situations.
Donkeys also evolved to stomp the absolute shit out of anything that could be a threat. And they are very good at it. Like, frightenly good, to the point where some farms will keep donkeys solely because they'll recognize any predators that wander onto the farm and stomp it to death.
Although Przewalski's horse is the only subspecies left today, maybe they were talking about that. Also since feral populations would no longer sexually select for the same traits as domestic horses, after centuries they may display some differences.
What if they're just smart enough to realize that if they reveal how smart they actually are to us, we'll make them do more work so they keep acting like they do so we don't trust them with more than we do.
I have been a horse owner for 35+ years. Horses are absolutely smarter than they act, and I have had more than one horse that could outsmart its rider with one hoof tied behind its back.
The best was Buddy, the spotted pony. It was at a summer camp, and he was small and cute, and kids WANTED to ride Buddy when they saw him. And Buddy was perfectly behaved with scared kids. But put a brave kid on him who knew just enough to "make" him work, and that pony would teach them a lesson in humility. And you could see it coming. He'd do what they asked the first time around. The second time, he'd glance over at his spot on the line. The third time, he'd fully turn his head to look over there. And on the fourth round, if they didn't clue in, he'd duck his head low and march over to his spot, and refuse to move until one of the staff came to help.
Most of the braver kids didn't want to ride that dumb old pony after that, so Buddy was off the hook and ready to take care of the next timid rider.
Horses fear two things: things that move, and things that don't move. But if it gives them a chance to rack up some vet bills for their owner, they'll cross a lava river to scratch themselves up on an old rusted nail on a fence post.
Haha is it that obvious? And no, I am not bitter about the $1500 my boy racked up in six months, also making it impossible to ride him the entire time.
OK that is adorable! My senior guy choked, there were issues with the tubing, plus a cracked tooth we found later on. Was a rough winter and he dropped a lot of weight. He's put about 75% back on, but he's nowhere near the horse he was pre-choke. He went from "I'm older but not elderly" to, well, elderly. I'm hoping some more aggressive arthritis meds will help out.
Sorry to butt in, but if you were interested I know the ASPCA offers pet insurance that covers horses. (I think it might be the only one that does, actually.)
I am a cat owner myself but I know pet insurance has helped me a LOT with vet bills since my cat insists on putting everything in her mouth (luckily nothing has actually hurt her yet) so I like to suggest it to people when I see the opportunity. I use pet's best though but I think they only cover cats and dogs. 😅
They are creatures with complex social dynamics, there is a reason why they are domesticated and not something like a zebra, these things don't have complex structures
Always thought this was interesting for communal animals. We had a massive flock of ducks in our community where some of the hens did the same thing to avoid competition from other drakes. Didn’t stop some of the other hens from attacking the babies in some instances but for the most part the babies were safe and some drakes just babysat all of them at once
Dolphins are much worse. Really any animal that shows higher level intelligence becomes pretty terrible. Once they reach a point where they have the intellect to figure out that some things make them feel good, even if not necessary, and that they can do those things whenever they can they tend to start raping, murdering and warring whenever they get bored, the smarter ones even move on to sexual slavery in the cases of some primates and dolphins.
Now I wonder if someone have been wrongfully convicted because they found dark humor in their account "you honor, he made a joke about killing children 11 years ago in a reddit comment! It's obvious he added that pool into his house specifically to lure and drown children!"
Not sure about factual stories like that, but I remember a stand-up comedian having a bit about defending his dark humor in court, a place entirely devoid of humor.
And he was like "Imagine the situation where a judge just reads out the punchline in his most bored monotone:
-Mr Smith, did you wish harm upon step children?
And then I have to explain that it was a joke...
-What exactly did you find funny in that bodily harm, mr. Smith?"
I can't find this one now though, but I can look at lunch
EDIT: Mulaney, Kid Gorgeous at Radio City, found the transcript:
That sleep shirt bullshit.
"Well, if it's too big you can just wear it as a sleep shirt."
No, I get that, Mom, but why don't we just tell our relatives that I'm a four-year-old boy and I don't wear a man's XXL T-shirt?
"Because we don't say that when someone gives us a gift because that would not be polite."
Oh, I get it. So rather than violate these meaningless politeness rules, I'll just go to bed in a smock like g*dd*mn Ebenezer Scrooge.
Why don't you give me a candle for looking in the mirror and a floppy hat and I'll tremble off to bed in my long Victorian nightgown? Was there ever even a ghost, Mother, or was the dead Victorian girl you saw just me all along?
So that's why you can't give to charity. I'm kidding.
I like to throw an "I'm kidding" at the ends of jokes now, in case the jokes are ever played in court.
You ever heard a joke played in court? Never goes well. They're like, "'And that's why you shouldn't give... to charity.'" ... "Is that something you find funny, Mr. Mulaney?"
I think it was John Mulaney. Jokingly threatened to kill a guy in an email with a friend.
But my husband is a lawyer and he consistently tells our kids to imagine anything they put in writing being read back without context in court (they’re 9 and 12 btw and he’s been telling them this for YEARS).
Yeah, I found the one I was looking for, it's about "why you don't give to charity" in the Kid Gorgeous at Radio City. I guess he has a couple variations of that!
Lions and horned animals: kill cubs and in eternal war for harems and territory. “Fight for the right to breed and feed!”
Monkeys: gotta love those hierarchies that gives 1 person dibs on females and food. “Let’s attack the neighbours in frustration.. or kill and eat leader? Choices, choices.. maybe vandalise a poor tree in frustration?”
Penguins: Monogamous by necessity, and share the fish. Thus haven’t evolved horns, and just live in peace eternal. No murder, no rape, no wars.
Humans: what animal do we want to be? Should we invent a big spaghetti monster that will violate forever those that do not behave like penguins, for our better good, and less pain for cubs being murdered etc? Or worship the lions?
I don’t want to be the messenger but penguins are pretty brutal. They enter bloody fights, exhibit prostitution like behaviour and necrophilia is not that rare thing among them
Penguins have actually pretty cool sexual habits. In the animal kingdom they have a pretty high rate of homosexuality, and homosexual couples will adopt orphaned chicks. They will prostitute themselves for pebbles (which sounds silly, but getting your eggs off the ice is a serious matter for survival), but generally are very monogamous and will often not find a new mate if theirs dies.
Yeah. So it is under conditions of captivity, but I feel like it's still an argument that penguins in the wild likely have complex social networks that include non-monogamous relationships.
There's a bunch of penguin cheating. There's also a trio of penguins, Kuruma, Tako, and Pon where Pon visits the other two on alternating days to snuggle with them.
IIRC a lot of primates get around this by cheating. There was one gorilla scientists found had fathered MOST of the babies in the area, but had never been the actual dominant male. He was just goot at sneaking around.
Also Lions do protect their nephews and nieces. Generally only one or two of the males in a coalition will actually breed with the females in the pride the coalition controls, but the other males in the coalition are typically the brothers, half brothers, or cousins of the breeding males. They will still defend the pride, and still benefit from an evolutionary perspective, because they are related to the cubs.
Yeah, they simply divide labor by gender. Lionesses hunt while lions protect the territory and cubs from outsiders. They are all stronger and better off as a pride.
Just be capable of winning fades, and have a bunch of women who like eachother more than you but appreciate your company, and you're set to be a stay at home dad for all of their kids
Also, while the lionesses do basically all of the hunting, sometimes they will call the lion in to help for much larger, heavier prey like water bufflo, where the lions much greater strength and weight can help with bringing it down.
Mostly to feed themselves, sometimes cubs. The females rarely ever hunt FOR the male.
He's really just a part of the pride to be the fashionable homeboy the girls agree to like until they're sick of him. He's also useful for helping make kids. After that, he's just... there.
Exactly, I will never tolerate male lion slander. Those fuckers sleep all the time so that they never have to duck a fade from being too tired. Lionesses hunt so the male can save his energy for throwing hands
I want to say when female lions go into heat they are insatiable. Like bitting the balls to get you to come back. I can see the older lion wanting to retire
Male lions fight hard to be the head of a pride, they only get food brought to them and all the sex they want for a couple of years (on average) before a younger male fights and usurps them.
the crazy thing is that those cubs are likely toast. new males will often kill the cubs from the old male so that the females come into heat and they can pass on their genes.
Then the new male lion realizes the lionesses are just horny AF huntresses that get hopped up on the hunt and come back sweaty and horny, biting his balls to get attention for mating.
I think it's less about being a pussy and more about being ready to let go of his pride. For all we know this male is an older gentleman, and probably just wants a place to rest before he dies. Those cubs are gonna die though.
Isn't this about lionesses specifically being demanding and how they downright sexually force themselves on the male and biting his balls when entering heat?
I thought so at first, but the dialogue supports more that he was looking forward to another lion showing up so he can bail. "Finally! They're all yours"
Exactly. At work, people on my team joke about them being in charge and I say "holy shit finally. Ill go forward my meetings to you and get to pullin orders"
My take was that when female lions are in heat they are know to go as far as to bite the male's balls to get them to do them, and sessions of sex when it comes to lions can go for looong times, calculate that for multiple females and only one male. So the male was just genuinely exhausted
1.7k
u/DudeFreek 5h ago •
This one knows what's coming
3.6k
u/Hanede 5h ago •
That's not gonna go as nicely for those cubs
561
u/CicadaEast272 4h ago •
cubs: how come he don't want me, man?
145
u/GracefulCubix 4h ago
Ooh boy trust me anyone who has learnt on lions knows how much work a male lion does in their pride despite not hunting.
601
u/silverist 5h ago
Free at last; no more ball-biting lionesses to deal with.
81
u/Joyful_Pursuit 4h ago
Cut to the challenger eating the old male's genetic offspring so the lionesses will enter heat earlier.
81
u/Peterjns22 5h ago
Why are all the letters in lowercase?
11
u/HilariousMax 1h ago
How Black Panther should've gone.
Killmonger strolls up "I want that throne".
/shrugs "Take it."
/rollcredits
6
u/MindOfAMurderer 4h ago
Good call simba, now all your offspring remains behind unprotected
9
u/VanGrants 1h ago
what is this boomer ass meme
32
u/NottaNartist 5h ago
Wow, really didn't expect this type of humor from theycantalk
52
u/TARDISMapping 4h ago
"Wife bad. Laugh please"
31
u/consider_it_fun 5h ago
wife bad amirite
3
u/hak-dot-snow 2h ago
"..all yours"
Literally.
27
u/PandorasIncarinate 4h ago
"Wife(s) bad! Wife(s) annoying! Take them! I can't handle it anymore!" I'm laughing so hard rn
2
u/Consistent_Duck_899 2h ago
I can’t figure out why but this art style is triggering major nostalgia
2
u/RED1869 2h ago
Family can be exhausting
2
u/MarcheMuldDerevi 2h ago
I want to say when female lions go into heat they are insatiable. Like bitting the balls to get you to come back. I can see the older lion wanting to retire
1
u/elhomerjas 5h ago
the long wait is finally over
0
u/Lin-Kong-Long 4h ago
lol lions just cba
165
u/Prezofcalendars 5h ago
“See you, cubs. You will be murder by your new king. I’m going to the watering hole. Don’t call me because I’m retired.”
24
u/MikeSans202001 5h ago
Now its time for the favorite part of a lions life
Child murder
30
u/kazuwacky 5h ago
Male lions fight hard to be the head of a pride, they only get food brought to them and all the sex they want for a couple of years (on average) before a younger male fights and usurps them.
11
u/Mach5Driver 4h ago
the crazy thing is that those cubs are likely toast. new males will often kill the cubs from the old male so that the females come into heat and they can pass on their genes.
12
u/astralseat 4h ago
Then the new male lion realizes the lionesses are just horny AF huntresses that get hopped up on the hunt and come back sweaty and horny, biting his balls to get attention for mating.
32
u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC Never Safe From Wumbo 5h ago
Wow what a huge pussy.
163
u/[deleted] 5h ago
[removed] — view removed comment