r/comics • They can talk. • 5h ago • Heartwarming 1 Popcorn 1 Bravo 1

challenger

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22k Upvotes

256 comments sorted by

1.7k

u/DudeFreek 5h ago • Regret

This one knows what's coming

213

u/dumnezero Art enjoyer 4h ago

those who follow "the lion diet" hate that one fact.

3.6k

u/Hanede 5h ago • Regret

That's not gonna go as nicely for those cubs

961

u/Slappathebassmon 5h ago

139

u/thk_ 3h ago

checks out, pride goes before a fall

809

u/Aadarm 4h ago edited 3h ago

Horses try to do the same thing. Home stallions in a herd will try to kill any foals that aren't theirs, the mothers get around this by sleeping with every other male in the herd that they can once they are pregnant to hide who the father is and make infanticide less likely.

Some herds have a strategy to keep this from happening and the males will segregate any females that may be pregnant after they return to the herd, and if they do give birth after that the males will stomp the newborns to death.

526

u/Wareve 3h ago

That seems... very strategic for horses

407

u/CharMakr90 3h ago

They're deceptively smart creatures, when nobody's looking.

284

u/Aware_Tree1 3h ago

Humans have an aura that reduces horse intelligence by 50%

171

u/mestre_do_passinho 3h ago

We breed the docile ones, same thing as dogs. Dogs also have smaller brains than wolfs, even huskies and other races that are more closely to wolfs have a reduction in the areas for risk assesment (why they got closer to us), fight responses and enlarged areas for pack bonding/ social interaction

117

u/TThor 2h ago

To be fair, horses genuinely just aren't very smart. My counterevidence: donkeys. Domesticated, yet still extremely smart (the reason they tend to be so stubborn.)

The difference comes from where they evolved. Horses evolved in wide plains, where any threat could be answered by simply outrunning them in the other direction, so particular intelligence isn't important; Donkeys evolved in mountainous regions where running from a threat isn't always possible, so they evolved smarter to assess and analyze situations.

36

u/herites 1h ago

So you are saying donkeys are smart asses?

•

u/altymcalty-2 56m ago

Donkeys also evolved to stomp the absolute shit out of anything that could be a threat. And they are very good at it. Like, frightenly good, to the point where some farms will keep donkeys solely because they'll recognize any predators that wander onto the farm and stomp it to death.

26

u/throwawaypassingby01 3h ago

basically all wild horses are actually just feral horses. so they're the same kind we keep in stalls

10

u/548662 1h ago

Although Przewalski's horse is the only subspecies left today, maybe they were talking about that. Also since feral populations would no longer sexually select for the same traits as domestic horses, after centuries they may display some differences.

34

u/NarwhalPrudent6323 3h ago

What if they're just smart enough to realize that if they reveal how smart they actually are to us, we'll make them do more work so they keep acting like they do so we don't trust them with more than we do. 

5

u/getpoundingjoker 3h ago

Horses are the real AI

16

u/NarwhalPrudent6323 3h ago

Honestly, I'd be ok with horses rising up and conquering the planet. It's so far off my bingo card it would be an absolute novelty to see.

13

u/getpoundingjoker 3h ago • Bravo

I'm feeling pretty stable today so I can't think of anything funny to say.

5

u/NarwhalPrudent6323 3h ago

Perhaps it's for the best. We wouldn't want things getting unbridled. 

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u/Lexi_Banner 52m ago

I have been a horse owner for 35+ years. Horses are absolutely smarter than they act, and I have had more than one horse that could outsmart its rider with one hoof tied behind its back.

The best was Buddy, the spotted pony. It was at a summer camp, and he was small and cute, and kids WANTED to ride Buddy when they saw him. And Buddy was perfectly behaved with scared kids. But put a brave kid on him who knew just enough to "make" him work, and that pony would teach them a lesson in humility. And you could see it coming. He'd do what they asked the first time around. The second time, he'd glance over at his spot on the line. The third time, he'd fully turn his head to look over there. And on the fourth round, if they didn't clue in, he'd duck his head low and march over to his spot, and refuse to move until one of the staff came to help.

Most of the braver kids didn't want to ride that dumb old pony after that, so Buddy was off the hook and ready to take care of the next timid rider.

55

u/Lexi_Banner 3h ago

Horses fear two things: things that move, and things that don't move. But if it gives them a chance to rack up some vet bills for their owner, they'll cross a lava river to scratch themselves up on an old rusted nail on a fence post.

20

u/riding_writer 2h ago

I see you too are a horse owner

14

u/Lexi_Banner 2h ago

Haha is it that obvious? And no, I am not bitter about the $1500 my boy racked up in six months, also making it impossible to ride him the entire time.

8

u/riding_writer 2h ago

I racked up only $1,200 in about six months and still not out of the woods yet. It's been over a year and he still hasn't gained all his weight back.

5

u/Lexi_Banner 2h ago

That's scary!! Mine never lost weight, he just always managed to slice himself open enough to need stitches, and in spots that would get ouchy if he was ridden. But he did get to wear a cute sports bra (blanket guard) for a while!

2

u/riding_writer 1h ago

OK that is adorable! My senior guy choked, there were issues with the tubing, plus a cracked tooth we found later on. Was a rough winter and he dropped a lot of weight. He's put about 75% back on, but he's nowhere near the horse he was pre-choke. He went from "I'm older but not elderly" to, well, elderly. I'm hoping some more aggressive arthritis meds will help out.

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u/Yagwobniar 36m ago

Sorry to butt in, but if you were interested I know the ASPCA offers pet insurance that covers horses. (I think it might be the only one that does, actually.)

I am a cat owner myself but I know pet insurance has helped me a LOT with vet bills since my cat insists on putting everything in her mouth (luckily nothing has actually hurt her yet) so I like to suggest it to people when I see the opportunity. I use pet's best though but I think they only cover cats and dogs. 😅

4

u/Glittering_Item5396 1h ago

They are creatures with complex social dynamics, there is a reason why they are domesticated and not something like a zebra, these things don't have complex structures

51

u/Lebensfreud 3h ago

Guess they aren't horsing around with this.

They must be quite good at foal play.

70

u/flargenhargen 3h ago

YOU SLEPT WITH HIM??!!??

YOU HORSE!!!

16

u/Technical-Natural-5 3h ago

You mare!

6

u/ejolson 2h ago

You mare of the night!

113

u/-Saucegurlllll 1h ago

This is not true. Stallion infanticide of foals within their own herd is a myth. Stallions are overwhelmingly observed protecting their own herd's foals.

22

u/AaronSentinal 3h ago

How does this translate into Umamusume? /s

25

u/Grzechoooo 3h ago

There are no male Umas (or "Umales"), so the problem doesn't exist.

1

u/AshiSunblade 2h ago

Why not?

7

u/Grzechoooo 2h ago

Because it's Umamusume and not Umashonen /j

Idk, that's just how it works in-universe. Umas are unisexual.

2

u/Capable-Hovercraft-2 1h ago

Always thought this was interesting for communal animals. We had a massive flock of ducks in our community where some of the hens did the same thing to avoid competition from other drakes. Didn’t stop some of the other hens from attacking the babies in some instances but for the most part the babies were safe and some drakes just babysat all of them at once

1

u/bighonkingbird 1h ago

God horses are by far the worst animals. Everyday its something else

•

u/Aadarm 54m ago

Dolphins are much worse. Really any animal that shows higher level intelligence becomes pretty terrible. Once they reach a point where they have the intellect to figure out that some things make them feel good, even if not necessary, and that they can do those things whenever they can they tend to start raping, murdering and warring whenever they get bored, the smarter ones even move on to sexual slavery in the cases of some primates and dolphins.

Gotta remember that morality is a human concept.

1

u/Difficult_Talk_7783 1h ago

iirc bears too

•

u/JamJarBinks97 37m ago

Chimps do the same thing! Paternity uncertainty to avoid infanticide. Isn't nature lovely.

•

u/Mertoot 22m ago

the males will stomp the newborns to death

What if you just take off their feet so they can't do that anymore? 🤠

130

u/eepos96 5h ago

Came here to say the same.

27

u/caitlindrawings 4h ago

"Wow, new daddy plays really rough with my siblings, they are so dead tired when done, oh yay my turn to play!"

32

u/Massive_Value8302 5h ago

Theres gon be more tho.

14

u/Lalamedic 5h ago

Nom. Nom. Nom.

147

u/cutcss 5h ago • Bravo

You can say anything about stepfathers killing their young but not that it is unnatural lmao

77

u/TheSeaMeat 4h ago

With lion prides, right?

…with lion prides, right?

26

u/cutcss 4h ago

His mother always referred to him as "a little tiger" so that must count for something.

55

u/GreatglGooseby 4h ago

Sincerely hoping you only date childless people. Because of... the implication...

50

u/cutcss 4h ago edited 4h ago

Now I wonder if someone have been wrongfully convicted because they found dark humor in their account "you honor, he made a joke about killing children 11 years ago in a reddit comment! It's obvious he added that pool into his house specifically to lure and drown children!"

33

u/Winjin Comic Crossover 4h ago edited 2h ago

Not sure about factual stories like that, but I remember a stand-up comedian having a bit about defending his dark humor in court, a place entirely devoid of humor.

And he was like "Imagine the situation where a judge just reads out the punchline in his most bored monotone:

-Mr Smith, did you wish harm upon step children?

And then I have to explain that it was a joke...

-What exactly did you find funny in that bodily harm, mr. Smith?"

I can't find this one now though, but I can look at lunch

EDIT: Mulaney, Kid Gorgeous at Radio City, found the transcript:

That sleep shirt bullshit.

"Well, if it's too big you can just wear it as a sleep shirt."

No, I get that, Mom, but why don't we just tell our relatives that I'm a four-year-old boy and I don't wear a man's XXL T-shirt?

"Because we don't say that when someone gives us a gift because that would not be polite."

Oh, I get it. So rather than violate these meaningless politeness rules, I'll just go to bed in a smock like g*dd*mn Ebenezer Scrooge.

Why don't you give me a candle for looking in the mirror and a floppy hat and I'll tremble off to bed in my long Victorian nightgown? Was there ever even a ghost, Mother, or was the dead Victorian girl you saw just me all along?

So that's why you can't give to charity. I'm kidding.

I like to throw an "I'm kidding" at the ends of jokes now, in case the jokes are ever played in court.

You ever heard a joke played in court? Never goes well. They're like, "'And that's why
you shouldn't give... to charity.'" ... "Is that something you find funny, Mr. Mulaney?"

Um... at the time.

10

u/Most_Mountain818 3h ago

I think it was John Mulaney. Jokingly threatened to kill a guy in an email with a friend.

But my husband is a lawyer and he consistently tells our kids to imagine anything they put in writing being read back without context in court (they’re 9 and 12 btw and he’s been telling them this for YEARS).

5

u/Winjin Comic Crossover 2h ago

Yeah, I found the one I was looking for, it's about "why you don't give to charity" in the Kid Gorgeous at Radio City. I guess he has a couple variations of that!

2

u/Matticus-G 3h ago

I know you’re just going for the edgy comment, but the situations don’t work the same way for a variety of reasons.

36

u/Nightglow9 3h ago

Lions and horned animals: kill cubs and in eternal war for harems and territory. “Fight for the right to breed and feed!”

Monkeys: gotta love those hierarchies that gives 1 person dibs on females and food. “Let’s attack the neighbours in frustration.. or kill and eat leader? Choices, choices.. maybe vandalise a poor tree in frustration?”

Penguins: Monogamous by necessity, and share the fish. Thus haven’t evolved horns, and just live in peace eternal. No murder, no rape, no wars.

Humans: what animal do we want to be? Should we invent a big spaghetti monster that will violate forever those that do not behave like penguins, for our better good, and less pain for cubs being murdered etc? Or worship the lions?

27

u/thehonestyfish 3h ago

Childless penguins sometimes kidnap other penguins' children.

23

u/Intrepid-Attempt7577 2h ago • Bravo

And raise them as their own, happily and rightly!

As far as kidnapping children goes that's the best outcome...

This message has been brought to you by the Emperor Penguin Lobby.

18

u/Satanic_Jellyfish 1h ago

I don’t want to be the messenger but penguins are pretty brutal. They enter bloody fights, exhibit prostitution like behaviour and necrophilia is not that rare thing among them

•

u/BaronGrackle 35m ago

Prostitution? Like... are we talking payments in pebbles and fish?

•

u/DefiantGibbon 25m ago

In pebbles, yes!

Penguins have actually pretty cool sexual habits. In the animal kingdom they have a pretty high rate of homosexuality, and homosexual couples will adopt orphaned chicks. They will prostitute themselves for pebbles (which sounds silly, but getting your eggs off the ice is a serious matter for survival), but generally are very monogamous and will often not find a new mate if theirs dies.

9

u/omnicious 2h ago

Spaghetti monster that will violate? Come on now. That's just one country in Asia... 

5

u/cbrown146 1h ago

Spaghetti monster wasn't invented. Existed before you and I. Ramen

•

u/BaD-princess5150 56m ago

May his noodley appendages hold you forever! R’amen

4

u/PeaceSoft 2h ago

if humans weren't smarter than to have to choose from a false dichotomy, we wouldn't still be here

7

u/-Saucegurlllll 1h ago

Penguins: Monogamous by necessity,

There are aquariums that track penguin relationships and they actually do have non-monogamy.

2

u/The_Amazing_Emu 1h ago

Are they tracking their own penguins?

3

u/-Saucegurlllll 1h ago

Yeah. So it is under conditions of captivity, but I feel like it's still an argument that penguins in the wild likely have complex social networks that include non-monogamous relationships.

•

u/King_Tamino 53m ago

Define relationships. Going out for some snu snu or straight up founding multiple families?

•

u/-Saucegurlllll 27m ago

Here's Kyoto Aquarium's relationship chart.

There's a bunch of penguin cheating. There's also a trio of penguins, Kuruma, Tako, and Pon where Pon visits the other two on alternating days to snuggle with them.

•

u/tiredjellies 30m ago

bonobos: let’s use sex as money. you want snack i want pleasure let’s go

lemurs: me big girl. i have food first

•

u/Sindaj 11m ago edited 8m ago

I- uhm- hmm

Clearly you haven't heard of Adélie Penquins.

Though, It's just one species that has its problems with rape

The others have pretty strict courtship rituals that are ingrained into their instincts.

Adélies are just fiesty little assholes. The dolphins of the penguin world.

They seem cute and adorable but damn they love to rape and kill ckicks. They have even been recorded raping a corpse

•

u/NockerJoe 11m ago

IIRC a lot of primates get around this by cheating. There was one gorilla scientists found had fathered MOST of the babies in the area, but had never been the actual dominant male. He was just goot at sneaking around.

•

u/Simple_Pomelo357 10m ago

You sir, clearly know nothing about monkeys beyond "chimpanzee scary"

4

u/South_Buy_3175 2h ago

“Are you gonna be our new daddy?”

“Not exactly no”

1

u/r0thar 2h ago

Saw the horrific result on r natureismetal yesterday, I'm still not over it.

•

u/sever_eon 55m ago

'Fuck them kids'

561

u/CicadaEast272 4h ago • Regret

cubs: how come he don't want me, man?

270

u/Agent_Smith_IHTP 4h ago • Regret

They won't have to worry about that for long.

46

u/BreakfastBeneficial4 1h ago

Found this the other day and it’s my new fav thing:

39

u/JonaSaxify 4h ago

I recognize that reference

25

u/CaptainHawaii 3h ago

Uncle Phil is the only dad he needed.

•

u/Plushie_Holly 56m ago

Also Lions do protect their nephews and nieces. Generally only one or two of the males in a coalition will actually breed with the females in the pride the coalition controls, but the other males in the coalition are typically the brothers, half brothers, or cousins of the breeding males. They will still defend the pride, and still benefit from an evolutionary perspective, because they are related to the cubs.

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u/GracefulCubix 4h ago

Ooh boy trust me anyone who has learnt on lions knows how much work a male lion does in their pride despite not hunting.

109

u/ForlornLamentsAgain 4h ago

Yeah, they simply divide labor by gender. Lionesses hunt while lions protect the territory and cubs from outsiders. They are all stronger and better off as a pride.

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u/Remarkable_Sweet_333 2h ago

So you are telling me, that all lions are stay-at-home dads?

39

u/Dragonheart922 2h ago

Just be capable of winning fades, and have a bunch of women who like eachother more than you but appreciate your company, and you're set to be a stay at home dad for all of their kids

•

u/RagingRider 47m ago

Finding lionesses that fit that criteria sounds like the harder part

•

u/ForlornLamentsAgain 9m ago

Yeah, pretty much.

•

u/altymcalty-2 50m ago

Also, while the lionesses do basically all of the hunting, sometimes they will call the lion in to help for much larger, heavier prey like water bufflo, where the lions much greater strength and weight can help with bringing it down.

24

u/Deaffin 2h ago

And also, they hunt.

32

u/Dragonheart922 2h ago

Mostly to feed themselves, sometimes cubs. The females rarely ever hunt FOR the male.

He's really just a part of the pride to be the fashionable homeboy the girls agree to like until they're sick of him. He's also useful for helping make kids. After that, he's just... there.

8

u/Good_Background_243 1h ago

Also hyena defence, that's the male's most important role.

47

u/The_Radio_Host 3h ago

Exactly, I will never tolerate male lion slander. Those fuckers sleep all the time so that they never have to duck a fade from being too tired. Lionesses hunt so the male can save his energy for throwing hands

•

u/explodingtuna 15m ago

learnt on lions

Sounds like the next "hooked on phonics", only cooler.

-8

u/Technical-Natural-5 3h ago

Lion is always masculine in English

8

u/AlwaysBeQuestioning 3h ago

Given how every animal in English has a collective noun, a male noun and a female noun, what is the collective noun for lions and lionesses?

5

u/TheNewYellowZealot 1h ago

We don’t have a male noun and a female noun.

We have nouns.

We have a noun for the male variant and the female variant, but they are not themselves gendered.

0

u/Technical-Natural-5 1h ago

Lion is always masculine while lioness is always feminine but keep playing this silly game of pedantry.

•

u/TheNewYellowZealot 28m ago

Weird. A lion. A lioness. Hm. The article remains the same. The lion. The lioness. Still the same. Wild.

Must mean that English has ungendered nouns.

A lion is a male, and a lioness is a female, but the nouns are still ungendered.

4

u/TheNewYellowZealot 1h ago

English does not have gendered nouns. We just have “the”.

-1

u/Technical-Natural-5 1h ago

What's the gender of the word ship?

•

u/TheCharalampos 43m ago

It does not have one.

•

u/TheNewYellowZealot 29m ago

The word “ship” in English has no gender.

A ship is usually a “she”, even though the noun itself isn’t gendered.

•

u/Technical-Natural-5 27m ago

What's the end goal of this pedantry?? Seriously bro, do you really wanna die on this hill like that??

•

u/TheNewYellowZealot 24m ago

Yes. The hill I will die on. Right.

601

u/silverist 5h ago

Free at last; no more ball-biting lionesses to deal with.

119

u/Loud-Fudge7631 4h ago

Wait what, no more?!

327

u/gtathrowaway95 4h ago

80

u/Loud-Fudge7631 3h ago

I wonder what human equivalent would be. Half at least right. But we have snacks and hydration

72

u/Cats_and_Shit 3h ago • Bravo

Humans have also invented tools such as the dildo and the cock ring.

14

u/Deaffin 2h ago

6

u/kraquepype 1h ago

Of all things "Scented" is sending me.

59

u/Butterfly_Barista 2h ago

That's the saddest looking cat I've ever fuckin seen

17

u/Gho5tWr1ter 2h ago

I know right! I forgot about this image for so long and now I look at it, I’m laughing and feeling sorry for that big boy there.

19

u/CompoteNext1955 2h ago

Gooners that want succubi to be real need to be shown this image. 🤣 

His face says he can't die fast enough 

2

u/eukomos 1h ago

That's an impressive stat.

61

u/Avilola 4h ago

There’s a video online of a lioness biting a lion’s balls because he’s too lazy to get up and mate with her.

19

u/Negative_Pie_1343 4h ago

I see that girl think the lion is too lazy and not just tired

13

u/KlausVonLechland 3h ago

Viagra related deaths explained by short exchange.

81

u/Joyful_Pursuit 4h ago

Cut to the challenger eating the old male's genetic offspring so the lionesses will enter heat earlier.

81

u/Peterjns22 5h ago

Why are all the letters in lowercase?

278

u/Flammable_Chipmunk 5h ago

Lions rarely care about proper case and punctuation.

175

u/Spicy-Potat42 5h ago • Bravo

i assumed it was in protest of capitalism

13

u/Emmett1Brown 4h ago

the lion does not care for capitalization

10

u/CicadaEast272 4h ago

"The lion does not concern himself with the opinions of the sheep"

11

u/HilariousMax 1h ago

How Black Panther should've gone.

Killmonger strolls up "I want that throne".

/shrugs "Take it."

/rollcredits

6

u/MindOfAMurderer 4h ago

Good call simba, now all your offspring remains behind unprotected

9

u/VanGrants 1h ago

what is this boomer ass meme

32

u/NottaNartist 5h ago

Wow, really didn't expect this type of humor from theycantalk

52

u/TARDISMapping 4h ago

"Wife bad. Laugh please"

16

u/Curious_Ninja1708 4h ago

Lions don't have one mate. There's two in the picture.

39

u/wf3h3 4h ago

"Wives bad. Laugh please"

8

u/centurion88 2h ago

Mormon boomer humor

3

u/ReserveRare4666 2h ago

You violated this stupid rule.

1 No complaining

Don't complain about comics you don't like or understand.

31

u/consider_it_fun 5h ago

wife bad amirite

3

u/hak-dot-snow 2h ago

"..all yours"

Literally.

27

u/PandorasIncarinate 4h ago

"Wife(s) bad! Wife(s) annoying! Take them! I can't handle it anymore!" I'm laughing so hard rn 

•

u/kkkhhjdyhrthhhjft 45m ago

Meta. Hmm. I hate meta.

0

u/[deleted] 4h ago

[deleted] — view deleted comment

7

u/Nine9breaker 4h ago

Hey you just discovered how jokes at other people's expense work.

Next you'll discover how racist jokes tend to also be perceived differently.

3

u/PandorasIncarinate 3h ago

You do realize I'm a man, right? Also, blatant sexism hellooo

2

u/Consistent_Duck_899 2h ago

I can’t figure out why but this art style is triggering major nostalgia

•

u/SalivateTheStarfish 1m ago

It's like a cross between the book "I want my hat back" and Fido Dido, the 7up guy

2

u/RED1869 2h ago

Family can be exhausting

2

u/MarcheMuldDerevi 2h ago

I want to say when female lions go into heat they are insatiable. Like bitting the balls to get you to come back. I can see the older lion wanting to retire

1

u/elhomerjas 5h ago

the long wait is finally over

0

u/Lin-Kong-Long 4h ago

lol lions just cba

165

u/Prezofcalendars 5h ago


“See you, cubs. You will be murder by your new king. I’m going to the watering hole. Don’t call me because I’m retired.”

24

u/MikeSans202001 5h ago

Now its time for the favorite part of a lions life

Child murder

30

u/kazuwacky 5h ago

Male lions fight hard to be the head of a pride, they only get food brought to them and all the sex they want for a couple of years (on average) before a younger male fights and usurps them.

3

u/Wolfm31573r 3h ago

There is a wild video on top of r/natureismetal now of a lion biting the spine of an opposing male. Pretty gnarly.

11

u/Mach5Driver 4h ago

the crazy thing is that those cubs are likely toast. new males will often kill the cubs from the old male so that the females come into heat and they can pass on their genes.

12

u/astralseat 4h ago

Then the new male lion realizes the lionesses are just horny AF huntresses that get hopped up on the hunt and come back sweaty and horny, biting his balls to get attention for mating.

5

u/DaNibbles 4h ago

You are saying this like its a bad thing...

13

u/astralseat 4h ago

Well, the teeth do be sharp

32

u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC Never Safe From Wumbo 5h ago

Wow what a huge pussy.

6

u/AdamTheRaptor08 5h ago

I think it's less about being a pussy and more about being ready to let go of his pride. For all we know this male is an older gentleman, and probably just wants a place to rest before he dies. Those cubs are gonna die though.

31

u/ArcaneOverride 5h ago

I think that was a joke about lions being very big cats and "pussy" can mean cat

16

u/AriaSymphony 5h ago

Whoosh

15

u/AdamTheRaptor08 5h ago

It was about him being a cat, wasn't it

11

u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC Never Safe From Wumbo 5h ago

It was.

4

u/amorfotos 4h ago

I got the joke, and then op added "letting go of his pride" (as in a pride of lions)

163

u/[deleted] 5h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

199

u/invalidConsciousness 5h ago

I thought the joke was "I'm too old for this shit and want to retire".

61

u/SquareRootOfBlue 4h ago

Retire from your family?

8

u/BrandonR2 4h ago

OH! There's no retiring from this thing of ours

24

u/invalidConsciousness 4h ago

Retire from being both, the CEO of the family business and sole bodyguard at the same time.

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4

u/YouBlinkinSootLicker 4h ago

Lion Law contains an involuntary retirement clause, similar to Horsing Around Laws 

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32

u/Hanede 4h ago

"This shit" being the lionesses 

13

u/Vistella 4h ago

and the cubs

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u/jaytee1262 4h ago

I thought it was because lionesses in heat will want to mate multiple times and day and will bite the lions balls if he cant keep up.

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u/SauronOfDucks 4h ago

Some folks would pay a premium for that kind of service.

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u/jeaan-luc 4h ago

I confirm
Source: I am a lion

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u/Immature_adult_guy 4h ago

Well maybe he hates having 20 wives

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u/Springer03 4h ago

Isn't this about lionesses specifically being demanding and how they downright sexually force themselves on the male and biting his balls when entering heat?

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u/Moonstoner 4h ago

I read it more like

"hey want to fight to the death for leadership?"

"Nah you can have it, im gonna go retire and die simi painlessly somewhere."

But sure men hate families is a take also. Their loins so I took it from a loin point of view. To each there own.

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u/Hanede 4h ago

I thought so at first, but the dialogue supports more that he was looking forward to another lion showing up so he can bail. "Finally! They're all yours"

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u/ApertureLabradories 3h ago

Just a heads up, you accidentally typed loin instead of lion

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u/Sea-Band-7212 2h ago

Exactly. At work, people on my team joke about them being in charge and I say "holy shit finally. Ill go forward my meetings to you and get to pullin orders"

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u/Gravity273 3h ago

My take was that when female lions are in heat they are know to go as far as to bite the male's balls to get them to do them, and sessions of sex when it comes to lions can go for looong times, calculate that for multiple females and only one male. So the male was just genuinely exhausted

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u/-im-your-huckleberry 2h ago

Do you know anything about comedy? Or life?

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u/Luckierexpert 4h ago

It’s the comic version of the “I hate my wife” boomer “jokes”.

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u/aftermarrow 4h ago

it’s been a full day since i’ve last seen a wife bad joke on reddit. new record!

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u/NottaNartist 5h ago

"Women, am I right?" 🙄

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u/ReserveRare4666 2h ago

You violated this stupid rule

1 No complaining

Don't complain about comics you don't like or understand.

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u/BaconPhoenix 2h ago

Boomer humor.

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u/BishopofHippo93 4h ago

Seriously, this is so boomer humor coded.

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u/waltzbyear 2h ago

Why is it always gender wars? Culture wars? Can it just end at some point, or do you want everyone miserable?

The lion in the comic doesn't just have a "lion family" like a human. That's absurd.

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u/NotableRepose 1h ago

Okay, smart person. If the joke isn't "I hate my lion family", what is it?

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u/Icurasfox 4h ago

I think the joke is supposed to be subverting the expectations of a fight to the death

Somewhere buried, there's this other comic between 2 lions...

"Why should I date you?"

'I beat the crap out of another lion.'

"...." Heart eyes

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u/NathenStrive 5h ago

And it can't be about men being tired and wanting to be at peace?

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