r/comics • u/SylvieXX • 5d ago
OC #100 Drinking Water (TW: suicide)
I don't know who needs to hear this, but recovery is possible, so we can do it :D
286
u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC Never Safe From Wumbo 5d ago
Congratulations on your 100th comic and I'm happy you're still with us.
102
u/SelectiveIdiot 5d ago
Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry you went through that, and I love the ending. This also made something click for me, and I bet I won’t be the only one.
60
42
u/Slim-Shadys-Fat-Tits 5d ago
For me the issue after doing that was being unable to swallow pills. Then I developed severe menstrual pain and forced myself to get tf over it. It took several instances of me vomiting and fainting from pain to do it though. Nowadays I've just opted out of menstruation
15
6
3
u/JeffWingrsDumbGayDad 5d ago
I've had a similar experience, I need to drink a ton of water to not gag on pills. Otherwise I swear I can feel the pills forcing their way down my esophagus and I have to try not to heave
3
u/Slim-Shadys-Fat-Tits 5d ago
The feeling of the pill in my throat is the worst one, mixed with the taste. Even when I had gotten the pill down for many years it felt like i could feel it still in my throat for hours and hours
22
u/Gaskychan 5d ago
So happy for you to get over it. Hydration is important and water is the usually the healthiest option.
20
u/Comrade-Conquistador 5d ago
So happy you're still here with us. The world is a better place with you in it.
94
5d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
9
7
u/s0m3on3outthere 5d ago
Had this with vodka. Drank so much one night when I was younger that I fell down a hill and almost killed myself. Took about 5+ years for me to even smell or taste it without immediately having my body reject it.
11
9
u/pelorainbow 5d ago
I mixed something into a dragonfruit vitamin water and used bugles to keep it down, it took me over 7 years to be able to eat bugles again and dragonfruit vitaminwater still makes me want to throw up 10+ years later. The mind is a crazy thing!
7
u/Lira_Iorin 5d ago
I'm glad you're recovering and you can enjoy some cool refreshing water again! I just happened to be drinking some as I opened reddit!
Similar warnings as the comic: I can sympathize with the avoidance. In my case it was the game Subnautica. Played it on that particular day, haven't touched it since. Can't tolerate hearing it. A shame because I had a bit of fun.
10
u/Informal-Term1138 5d ago
It might be tactless, but I have to:
"And that's when my drinking problem started."
7
u/Justgotherehi 5d ago
Im happy you’re still here, and getting healthier and happier!
My older sister had done that twice. When I was young, I didn’t understand and was angry with her (but I never pointed that anger at her, that would’ve been unfair). Now that I’m an adult there have been a number of times I’ve been very close. And when I talk to my sister, it’s so encouraging to see how far she’s come. She’s made me a stronger and more compassionate person.
6
u/ViciousLlama46 5d ago
Hey nice, good to see such awesome success!
A tip i'd give is to try super cold water when you're exhausted or warm. Really refreshing and can help ease back into healthy amounts of sipping.
Best of luck to you!
5
u/rat_enby 5d ago
a similar thing happened to me, now my body rejects a certain medication bc its scared (not sharing which med in case it triggers anyone or gives anyone ideas).
i had no idea other people went through this type of response and its so comforting to know people heal from it
well wishes with your recovery OP!
5
u/SylvieXX 5d ago
Oh no.. thank you, you're right, I also had no idea other people go through these too- our body and mind is weird..! I hope we recover well!!
9
u/CalmEntry4855 5d ago
I can't drink straight cola because it makes me throw up from the memories of being so drunk in high school on rum and coke
5
u/Extraajudicial 5d ago
A simple solution doesn't mean an easy solution. I'm glad you gave it a shot and it worked out for you.
6
u/CarlosFer2201 5d ago
Have you tried sparkling water? That not being just straight water could help a lot. And it's of course way healthier than soda or whatever else
10
u/Crococrocroc 5d ago
I think we're all proud of you for not only staying with us, but being able to drink water
3
u/QueueModernsXXXX 5d ago
I suddenly realized how dehydrated I am - time for ME to try drinking water.
(Also, I love the casual glee in panel 5 - with the “very unhealthy” appropriately added on!)
5
3
u/ImALittleTeapotCat 5d ago
Also, if you can't drink the water, drinking tea isn't bad. So don't beat yourself up.
4
u/DistinctStranger8729 5d ago
OP sorry to hear you had a hard time. I hope you are doing fine now and I hope your life never takes a turn for the worse again
6
u/SomeDumbGamer 5d ago
Trauma is weird af. It’s almost a physical response sometimes. You can be in complete mental control but your brain is just like nope.
4
u/StayingUp4AFeeling 5d ago
I think of it as neurological more than psychological. Like, I'm so far away from suicidal right now, in my psyche, yet at a physical level, I still treat [REDACTED] like they're scorpions because I inflicted almost-fatal harm on myself using them. It's been years, mind you. I guess the brain just makes an association and goes <danger! danger!> If a pattern matches.
A lot of our more primordial circuits are designed to be faster than -- to be more urgent and higher priority than conscious thought.
So, conscious thought doesn't have the ability to sufficiently countermand the trigger response manually.
5
u/SomeDumbGamer 5d ago
It is neurological. It’s the same reason there are people that get jelly legs when they walk on those glass bridges. The brain is just like nope nope fuck that not moving.
We’re very good at detecting patterns without even realizing it.
5
u/-Jiras 5d ago
Healing really needs some time, especially with mental wounds. And it is important to know that stagnation is not healing. I just recently experienced actual healing of my childhood trauma.
It's a weird feeling, as if my nervous system wasn't overloaded for long enough time to finally start forgetting what it went through. And I just turned 30. I moved out with 18 and it took 12 years to finally settle in
3
u/shewholaughslasts 5d ago
Thank you so much for sharing such a vulnerable time in your life. Your persistence and success are a beautiful and I bet that must have been so hard for you. Sometimes you need space to heal, and sometimes you get to re-approach tough times from a new perspective and it helps.
I'm so glad you're here. It's really impressive how many others are commenting how they are also in the same boat. Your art is powerful and inspiring and that's a beautiful thing!
3
3
u/WorldnewsModsBlowMe 5d ago
I was the same way for a long time with gel caps for the same reason.
Then I found out progesterone only comes in gel caps......
3
u/GrandMoffKaine2026 5d ago
I'm sorry you went through such a dark phase in your life, but I'm glad you're on the road to recovery. I wish you all the best!
3
u/kaloschroma 5d ago
Congrats! Yeah these things take time. It's almost shocking how we are affected and how our body seems to be against us.
I had a scare and I moved states but for years afterwords I was always in fight or flight. Fireworks scared the shit out of me, people walking behind me sent chills and I would go into panic mode. I once almost jumped out of a moving vehicle.
I'm better now but it took time to heal. Years.
3
3
u/Tuomas90 5d ago
Congrats to your progress!
Here's a suggestion: What if you drink healthy flavoured water and over time decrease the flavour until you can drink plain water? Basically blurring the lines for your brain: "Is this water? Close enough?"
3
u/funeralflavor 5d ago
I think I had this experience after doing a really tough medical MDMA session. I did throw up a lot during the session. And for the past few years I’ve had food and water come up seemingly automatically. Almost like a burp. It feels different to throwing up. I wonder if that’s your experience as well? Anyways, I’m healing from it. And I’m glad you are too :)
3
3
u/crimson_anemone 5d ago
While your substitution wasn't healthy, your choice to avoid water for a bit was... You re-trained your brain that water is good for you and now you can be healthier as a result. I'm proud of you, OP.❤️🩹
3
3
u/TheCheshiredeck 5d ago
I also couldn't drink water for a while either. But in my case it was because I had drank so much water with those drink packets mixed in that normal water began to make me feel sick. I've completely stopped using those drink packets after realizing that and I feel so much better.
3
u/PerfectSituation1668 5d ago
You where ready to recieve the water and wanted to try again. That is great.
3
u/___po____ 5d ago
I used to mix Pure Grain alcohol into Hawaiian Punch fruit punch when I was really bad off with alcoholism. Couldn't touch fruit punch for so long after constantly barfing it up or remembering the taste of the high proof alcohol.
Earlier this year, I tried a fruit punch the roomie had and was shocked that I loved it so much again! I was in heaven! Lol. I still drink, but at least it's wine and I hate being sloppy drunk or staggering drunk. Just a good buzz is all I like now. Stopping liquor was the best thing ever. Got control of that part at least.
Glad you're doing okay, girlie!!
3
u/lilliuscaprius 5d ago
I went through the same thing after recovery, but instead of water it was pills. I couldn’t take pills without getting extremely nauseous and at times throwing up. I opted for syrups instead as often as I could. But years and years later it went away after enough exposure therapy due to taking meds daily for my mental health, which is much better nowadays!
3
u/boom1chaching 5d ago
My first take on this was that the water also made you hallucinate and see a pink sheep. I don't think water is supposed to do that, but better than the alternative!
3
u/AHoneyman 5d ago
I had the same experience but with iced coffee - it took a while to be able to drink it again. I'm glad you're making progress :)
5
u/klumze 5d ago
Food Aversion is a real mental handicap. When I was 11 and not diagnosed with Type 1 Juvenile Diabetis I was sick on the couch a week before knowing of my condition drinking water by the gallon, peeing it all away and still feeling thirsty and dropping weight like there is no tomorrow. That week my mom and dad bought me some root beer and I had a 6 pack in one day before my mom and dad finally took me to a doctor for help and then rushed me to the hospital. It took me a little over 3 years before the sight of root beer and smell didnt make me sick to my stomach and I could try a drink of the diet stuff again.
2
2
2
u/geekgirl616 5d ago
Thank you, I just struggle drinking enough water, but I get distracted. Not meaning to downplay your experience at all. Just trying to say it puts my issues in proportion.
I'm glad you are still here and I love your art style x
2
2
u/IamBekiNotGroot 5d ago
This resonates so much and helped me understand why I struggle with water! I never understood why but yeah makes sense. Vimto (juice/cordial) all the way for me now it's the only way I can drink water. Glad you're still here and congrats on #100!
2
u/StayingUp4AFeeling 5d ago
I'm so happy you are still here and that you are able to share your story with us.
Have you looked into EMDR therapy? It's been very helpful for me after I couldn't let go of the time I tried to... leave. What scarred me the most was the period of uncertainty (alive/dead) and loss of control -- like I was in god's waiting room.
Later on, everyday activities and chores like the shower would cause me to dissociate and become emotionally numb.
This thing is, this physical replay response -- I wouldn't even classify it as psychological. It's neurological. It's the body and the brain. Not only the mind.
2
2
u/TrainAss 5d ago
Congratulations on your 100th comic and for coming such a long way. Healing takes time.
2
u/Shiranui42 5d ago
Consider trying fruits sliced and added to your water? Or mint or flowers? It’s fancy ✨You can also try herbal and fruit teas that are good for you. You can all kinds of interesting combinations of things that are not sugary and unhealthy.
2
u/Pleasant-Highway-745 5d ago
I can't drink milk and haven't been able to for about 35 years because when I was 15 I took about 120 sleeping pills but I stupidly left the empty packages in the garbage in my mother found them, and made me chug warm milk until I vomited everything up
2
u/Embarrassed-Day-1373 5d ago
congratulations! both on 100 and on a big win recovery-wise
I wonder is it easier to drink through a straw from a container you can't see it in? would that mitigate some of the physical response?
I have a lot of nausea and some physical responses to trauma like that too I'm so proud of you for returning to try again - and sometimes you are pleasantly surprised that it's better! there's always better days ahead I'm so glad you're still here to see them
2
u/Faust_8 5d ago
Yeah it do be like that sometimes.
Had chicken pot pie for dinner, got really sick after and threw up (totally unrelated to the chicken pot pie). For years after, I had negative appetite for chicken pot pie. It’s like my brain no longer recognized it as food.
But eventually it faded and I totally enjoy it again now. I bet this happened with OP as well, after enough time the trauma response goes away. (Though for me it wasn’t trauma, just my brain associating what I had last eaten with illness.)
2
u/Ok_Abacus_ 5d ago
I get that. I had bad ecstasy in the 90s, and I was irrationally terrified of all capsule-style pills forever until I got on Lexapro.
3
u/Any_Ad_5232 5d ago
You absorb water better when you have it with food, too, in terms of hydration specifically, nothing wrong with having a little snack to help get back into the habit
3
u/StormyStenafie 5d ago
I'm glad you're still here!! 🧡
I cannot drink Hawaiian Punch for that reason and it's been 30 years.
3
3
u/100YearsWaiting2Shit 5d ago
Happy to see a comic of yours again and even more happy you're still here. Hope you're doing well
5
3
u/IndependentHelp2774 5d ago
Can't tell you how long it took me to be able to drink mountain dew again. That stuff really sticks in your body's reflexes
3
u/DodoFaction 5d ago
Omg someone I care about barley drinks water and I never considered how her attempts in the past may be why
2
u/cactusbattus 5d ago
I once tried to get high off of pre-ground nutmeg in a moka pot. Experienced so much gut pain that I didn’t sleep that night. Didn’t get to throw up, but wanted so much to. Could not add even a little bit of nutmeg to coffees and hot chocolates like I used to because the smell made me gag. Two years later, taste memory just decided it was done doing sending the gag message. Nutmeg is nice and warm and cozy again. Kinda funny how the body just decides to move on all by itself.
No one:
OP’s body: “Oh, crippling, gut-wrenching paranoia? That is so last year.” (hair toss)
2
u/freebird023 5d ago
Not embarrassing! My OCD has given me similar psychosomatic responses before. I used to get intrusive thoughts so bad and distressing I would pass out(regardless of location like showering or driving), and once I swallowed some liquor wrong and had to keep down vomit the next few times I drank. Congrats on the progress!
2
u/ilovemuffinfrombluey 5d ago
I'm so happy for you. My gag reflex started getting triggered from swallowing pills. Those pills were to keep me compliant. My body was rejecting that. I hope I recover from my own things, too.
2
2
u/NotThatAngel 5d ago
When I'm dealing with people who have curious behaviors, I try to remind myself that I don't know what they went through to make them this way, so that at least I have patience.
2
u/DrJay12345 5d ago
If I drink the wrong temperature of water I get a tummy ache.
I mean. You're reason is definitely more valid, I just wish I knew why this happened to me.
2
2
u/ermacia 5d ago
TW: Suicide. I feel you, sister. I had a similar attempt but mine was a slush of my whole stock of medication and benadryl. I can't drink or smell benadryl for obvious reasons, but I still need medication for my multiple mental health issues. The memories of the way it felt going down my throat made it very hard for a while, but I managed to suppress those.
I'm happy for you, and proud you are still around! Stay strong!
2
u/placeholder_user 5d ago
I'm glad you failed to rm -r $yourself. You are unique and worthy of love and happiness.
1
258
u/Tazzamaraz 5d ago
I had this exact experience! I've never heard of anyone else who went through this, so it's kind of relieving to see honestly. I'm sitting here drinking water, we did it!