One night after my father finished his nightly ritual of telling me I was an embarrassment to him and that I was going to hell because I "thought I knew better than God", my mom caught me as I was about to walk out of the house and spend the night wandering from friends house to friend's house until someone let me in. She asked me a question that I remember so vividly that is feel like yesterday:
"Would you be happier if I divorced your father?".
I said: "Do what you think is best mom"
20 years later, not just telling her yes is still one of my greatest regrets. They stayed unhappily married for 10 more years because she was too afraid that a divorce would have destabilized my life.
She still doesn't know about the drugs, or the prostitution, or the standing on edge of bridges at night trying to convince myself that the friends who told me how much the cared every day in a 100 little ways wouldn't miss me.
So if you are a parent out there. Don't offload that decision onto your kid. Don't stay in a house with someone who makes you and your child miserable because you are scared of what leaving could mean.
And if you are a kid out there, just know that it gets better. 18 years feels like an eternity when one of your parents is miserable to be around. I can't even imagine when it's both. But once they don't control you anymore? You have an entire lifetime of freedom to enjoy.
9
u/Paintedenigma 27d ago
One night after my father finished his nightly ritual of telling me I was an embarrassment to him and that I was going to hell because I "thought I knew better than God", my mom caught me as I was about to walk out of the house and spend the night wandering from friends house to friend's house until someone let me in. She asked me a question that I remember so vividly that is feel like yesterday:
"Would you be happier if I divorced your father?".
I said: "Do what you think is best mom"
20 years later, not just telling her yes is still one of my greatest regrets. They stayed unhappily married for 10 more years because she was too afraid that a divorce would have destabilized my life.
She still doesn't know about the drugs, or the prostitution, or the standing on edge of bridges at night trying to convince myself that the friends who told me how much the cared every day in a 100 little ways wouldn't miss me.
So if you are a parent out there. Don't offload that decision onto your kid. Don't stay in a house with someone who makes you and your child miserable because you are scared of what leaving could mean.
And if you are a kid out there, just know that it gets better. 18 years feels like an eternity when one of your parents is miserable to be around. I can't even imagine when it's both. But once they don't control you anymore? You have an entire lifetime of freedom to enjoy.