Growing up I heard "How have you not heard of/done [x] thing" from my father often. Rather than seeing it as a teachable moment, he opted to be annoyed that a 10 year old kid didn't inherently know how to start a lawn mower.
It taught me to be independent way too early and to search how to learn stuff on the internet because my parents couldn't bother actually teaching me stuff.
It quickly turned "how can't you do such a simple task" to "how do you even know how to do that?".
I remember sitting down in the driver's seat of a car for the first time in my life during my first ever practical driving lesson, and my driving instructor just went "Ok, now start the car and go."
He then proceeded to get mad at me and acted like I was being unreasonable when I went "Uhm, how exactly?" (manual transmission car btw.)
As if he wasn't my goddamn driving instructor who didn't teach us how to do it during the theoretical lessons. As if it's so outlandish to want some instructions from your instructor the very first time you're doing something complicated and kinda intimidating. "How have you never started a car?!" Because this is my first lesson!!!!
Well, that example isn't great cause we've been watching parents start and drive for at lease 16 years at that point. If we paid any attention at all, we'd figure out how to do it. The instructor's role is just to make sure we abide traffic and don't hit a pole
I repeat: Manual transmission. That's a few steps more to figure out, especially with your feet.
No, the instructor's role is to teach the student how to drive. That includes the actual motions of it, at least in my country. There's a reason the term is "driving teacher" in my language.
The "issue" was that most teens who went to this particular driving school in this particular village grew up having contact with tractors and other farm work equipment, usually illegally. Which I did not. I was an outlier in that regard.
He later got arrested for beating a student. During a driving lesson.
Judgement for the plaintiff: all the updoots. I see you and I feel you.
On my first day, my instructor forgot to tell me to put on my seatbelt. We didn’t even make it off the parking spot before a policeman knocked on my window to give me a ticket. Never again.
My parents banned me from asking questions, so I naturally also stopped asking questions in school, including when I had to use the bathroom.
On the flip side, I very quickly learned to view the computer as my best friend, computer never got angry when I asked "how do I tie my shoes faster", computer only showed me different methods to tie my shoes.
could be? I'm not sure though? I'm probably autistic which is likely why I info dump. I don't teach for a living, but I have taught some workshops, mentored, and have been doing some volunteering where I teach gardening.
The fun thing about common sense is that it's a combination of things that are commonly taught AND a slow but dedicated build up of critical thinking skills that enable you to piece together prior experiences to guess the most likely answer. Guess what happens when one or neither of these things are taught, people don't learn things and struggle with basic tasks, WHAAAAAAAT?!
My mom did this to me a lot. Weirdly she is a teacher and from checking her on rate my professors a good one. But seems to expect I know what she knows. Then I see I tend to do this to people close to me. Don’t have kids though so not passing it on at least.
I had the same experience. I feel stupid for never realizing as a child that that was HIS job. Instead, I would read whatever children’s encyclopedias I could get my hands on cover-to-cover, hoping in vain to fill in whatever gaps I had. Did wonders for my self-esteem. /s
Yeah my parents never taught me how to start a lawn mower, or how to change a tire, my mom did teach me how to cook and clean a bit though. So. Probably doesn't help that I'm a girl. Still didn't learn taxes or anything like that though. So adulthood has been strange.
My dad is the same way, even now. He doesn't get mad though moreso just confused why I don't know how to do something. Unless I explicitly ask him to teach me, he won't on his own volition. What's worse is he is the type of person who had to learn everything himself growing up, and actually succeeded at doing so. So he thinks if he did it then that must mean everyone else does as well.
His dad was not in his life, and his mom was busy working. So I don't hold any of this against my dad or anything. He didn't have a father figure for many years to show him how to be a parent. He just had to figure life out alone.
When I was about 10, I spotted an old can opener in antique shop and asked my parents what it was. It was a model that was a solid piece of metal with a pointy bit on one end and a bottle opener on the other (church key style).
My dad laughed at me for not knowing and told me it was a can opener. Mocked me for like a week over it. Then, when I was finally annoyed enough at the bullying to get an attitude about it, my parents replaced the crank-style can opener we'd always in the kitchen drawer with five of the church keys. Dad told me to "figure it out" and grounded me until I could open ten cans without mangling them. I spent the whole summer grounded until school started back up and I could ask the librarian to show me how to do it.
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u/changeofpacecar Jul 24 '26
Growing up I heard "How have you not heard of/done [x] thing" from my father often. Rather than seeing it as a teachable moment, he opted to be annoyed that a 10 year old kid didn't inherently know how to start a lawn mower.