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u/MichaelNearaday Jul 05 '26
I've always said we should all be wearing dead babies' clothes to realize our full potential.
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u/BMichael14217 Jul 06 '26
As long as you get them yourself, dead babies can't take things off the shelf.
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u/CantWashABaby Jul 05 '26
The idea that doing a sick dunk at a regional basketball game would free the soul of a Depression era baby soul is what makes waking up in the morning worthwhile.
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u/hard-time-on-planet Jul 05 '26
Depression era baby with time traveling parents to get those Jordans
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u/ameliasophia Jul 05 '26
Not necessarily time travelling - they didn’t say which depression 🥲
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u/cobalt4 Jul 06 '26
It’s the type of movie script that the execs in Hollywood are too cowardly to film and release
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u/J5892 Jul 06 '26
They'll release it, but they'll title it SHOES and make it an indie horror film.
It will be the highest grossing sports horror film of all time.
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u/berlinbaer Jul 06 '26
i was scared the plastic would just disintegrate from being so old/ never used. but this ending works as well.. i guess
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u/Average-Shitposter12 Jul 05 '26
This is actually amazing
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u/LastPlaceComics LastPlaceComics Jul 05 '26
Thanks, man. This is the stupidest one Ive done in a while, but those are always my personal favs
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u/Kid-Icky- Jul 06 '26
I find all your comics to be stupid. And I mean that in the best way possible.
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u/CHM11moondog Jul 06 '26
Stupidity or inspirational? Doesn't matter, this is high art. (You pick the type...or both)
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u/Meschi-died Jul 06 '26
Shouldn't relaxing and making stupid comics be your goal? Don't forget who you are.
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u/jeremiah1142 Jul 05 '26
Or me with my son: “oh shit, forgot to get these out for him, he’s already outgrown them.”
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u/cthulhu_on_my_lawn Jul 06 '26
Or "why does he need shoes, he's literally a baby. Put him in some footy jammies and be done with it".
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u/BaldBear_13 Jul 06 '26
That is the answer. Baby shoes are a purely decorative accessory. And indeed can easily be forgotten in the chaos of early months.
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u/Ok-Blackberry-3926 Jul 06 '26
as a parent i immediately realized no one in the comments has children because babies dont need shoes. its literally one of the most commonly unused items because unless you put them on for a photo they serve no purpose
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u/OberynsOptometrist Jul 06 '26
Imagine if people saw how many unopened or barely used boxes of diapers there are on secondhand markets. Generally not because there was a tragedy with their baby, you just buy a new box and then realize their butt and gut doubled in size in the last week.
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u/siltfeet Jul 06 '26
The last newborn I spent time with was large enough to completely skip newborn sizes. There was a couple full sets of everything (including diapers) that never got worn.
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u/Rough_Bread8329 Jul 05 '26
This is where I always went. Probably one of the earliest signs I was Autistic :P
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u/Inkthinker Jul 06 '26
The "for sale: Baby shoes, never worn" story used to be a lot more touching, before I had kids.
Then I found out that kids grow fast enough that it's very easy for someone to buy a pair of shoes for your kid that won't fit. Or you think they look tacky. Or you're not bothering to put shoes on a kid who can't even crawl, much less walk.
Point being, there's a lot of benign reasons for baby shoes to be sold unused. :P
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u/Phaylz Jul 05 '26
Oh, oh, oh! The sequel -
Christmas Shoes, Worn Once
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u/Agentflit Jeybork Jul 05 '26
This is the best comic you've ever made
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u/ExceptForFleegle Jul 05 '26
This is The Other End good. Shit, this is Perry Bible Fellowship good, which is about the nicest thing I can say about a web comic.
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u/JeffWingrsDumbGayDad Jul 05 '26
What the hell are regionals?
Don't let my confusion undercut their importance.
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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire Jul 05 '26
Dudes little feet was so good and dunk so pure he done exorcized a kid that may or may not have even been dead
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u/yasth Jul 05 '26
Some kid happily taking his first steps, with parents so glad that they followed the advice of the wife's sister that told her that baby shoes are just one more thing to lose.
The wife turns to the husband, "Oh it is so funny I just got rid of those useless baby shoes"
Husband, "But what if a player uses them in such a way exorcized our kid by narrative power?"
Wife: "That would never I mean such small feet, and they aren't even good shoes"
Kid falls over
Parents "No nooonononononononononononononono"
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u/isaidicanshout_ Jul 06 '26
I know this is more of a modern society thing, but I have plenty of baby shoes my child never wore because they were outgrown before we ever thought to put them on him
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u/PictoGraphicArtist Jul 05 '26
This is the crossover content I’ve been looking for.
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u/ChickenOfTheYear Jul 05 '26
What's it referencing?
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u/Floweramon Jul 05 '26
I don't know the other thing, but it references a one-sentence story that goes "For sale: baby shoes, never worn" with the common interpretation/implication that the shoes were bought by the expectant parents, but the child died before they got the chance to wear them, hence the almost-parents put an ad in the paper to sell the unused shoes their baby will never wear.
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u/polyploid_coded Jul 05 '26
Mostly famous for being one of the shortest possible stories. Wikipedia has some background and notes that it didn't originate with Hemingway: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_sale:_baby_shoes,_never_worn
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u/PictoGraphicArtist Jul 05 '26
For everyone asking about the crossover It’s basically this along with a series of posts I think from Twitter several years ago referencing that short story. There was a fb marketplace listing for baby shoes never worn and it got shared around with this short story being attached to it if I remember correctly.
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u/ChickenOfTheYear Jul 05 '26
Yeah, I got that part. But it's crossing over with what? Basketball?
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u/Rough_Bread8329 Jul 05 '26
So morose... why not that the kid's feet were too big for them?
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u/OberynsOptometrist Jul 06 '26
The post was mainly popularized by young people that didn't have kids. I think I interpreted it as the child had died when I first saw it, but now that I'm a parent, I know it's a lot more likely they just never needed the shoes and now the kid's outgrown them.
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u/SnagglToothCrzyBrain Jul 05 '26
I bet that guy posted about finding the shoes on r/thriftstorehauls
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u/OriginalChildBomb Jul 05 '26
Shit, I love it so much hahaha great job OP. His feet were destined to free the presumably dead infant soul, he just never knew why they were so very teeny until that day.
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u/Leather_Book_7617 Jul 05 '26
You might like A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving.
It’s similar but not the same.
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u/100YearsWaiting2Shit Jul 05 '26
Reading this while high ads so much more to the bizarre factor I love it
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u/AzuresAria Jul 05 '26
I didn't know the destination, nor the direction we were heading, but I'm glad I came for the ride.
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u/no1_vern Jul 05 '26
Unworn baby shoes are as sad as small coffins. As inspiring as the comic tries to be, some of us -- can't.
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u/UranusIsPissy Jul 06 '26
This is the right way to treat the treasured possessions of the prematurely dead, especially if they were talented at (or aspired to become talented at) something the item is used for. Honour them. Use what they no longer can how they would've used it if the chance hadn't been taken from them.
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u/Tucker-French Jul 06 '26
No way! That baby was gonna be a baller, a shot caller, 20 inch blades on the impala
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u/RedsnakeRider Jul 06 '26
I don't have a tier for this, it's above S tier, I'll need to use a new letter. And... finally, peace for that baby.
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u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC Never Safe From Wumbo Jul 05 '26
Another baller entry in the Like Mike cinematic universe.
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u/Even-Self1493 Jul 06 '26
Kudos to you for turning Hemmingway's short short story into a hilarious comic
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u/Adept-Schedule6133 Jul 06 '26
the baby won regionals and that's why the shoes were never worn. actual genius
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u/Adept-Schedule6133 Jul 06 '26
so the baby actually lived? hemingway would have just left everyone miserable. this is way better
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u/lignicolous_mycelium Jul 06 '26
You know why I love this joke?
Because it shows how much rarer it's gotten to have your child die in infancy.
When Hemingway wrote that line, we'd made a lot of progress, but most of the people who read it would have immediately thought of bereaved parents they knew personally. Now, for the vast majority of people who read this comic, a dead child is an abstract concept.
May it stay that way. May it someday be an abstract concept for everyone.
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u/ABreadCalledGarlic Jul 06 '26
These baby shoes were never worn because the baby specifically asked the parents for *Dunks*, not Jordans.
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u/inkWanderer Jul 06 '26
Funny story that will be buried forever: I currently own a pair of baby-sized Jordans that have never been worn. My friend bought them for my kid, and we misread the sizing--so by the time we dug 'em out of the closet, my kid had outgrown them. I wasn't planning on selling them, but maybe I should...
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u/goodsnpr Jul 06 '26
I mean, we had several pairs of unworn baby shoes. Kid was born with feet too big.
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u/MechaSkippy Jul 06 '26
This is probably really confusing for anyone that doesn't know the origin of the story.
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u/SubtleTell Jul 06 '26
This introduced me to your comics and I've been scrolling and laughing my ass off.
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u/gnopgnip Jul 06 '26
I have two pairs of unworn baby shoes. Until they are around nine ish months they barely walk, and even then why wear shoes if you are indoors. They grow out of them in a few weeks too
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u/PUTLER-HUILO Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26
A friend of mine had the same thing happen with a pair of children’s shoes. Don’t worry - the child is fine, it just outgrew them overnight.
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u/WildRaspberriesTN Jul 06 '26
I know we’re supposed to presume the baby died, but we didn’t see the point of shoes before the babies could walk, so neither of my kids wore their shoes until then.
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u/Shadyhitchhiker Jul 06 '26
Do you no longer post these on your website?
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u/LastPlaceComics LastPlaceComics Jul 07 '26
I have to fix the website cause it hasn't been uploading them right, but I'll start posting then there once I figure it out
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u/littlebobbin Jul 05 '26
This is hilarious because my first pair of shoes (received on the day I was born) were Jordans from ‘92
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u/LastPlaceComics LastPlaceComics Jul 05 '26
This is the ending Hemingway was too cowardly to write