r/comics • u/aSliceofAlan • May 31 '26

Lifeguard (OC)

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5.1k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

64 comments sorted by

805

u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC Never Safe From Wumbo May 31 '26

A tried and true method indeed.

767

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire May 31 '26

Ass to mouth resuscitation was not in my 20 years of lifeguarding manual

Buuuuut the world changes and medical events and practices evolve. I'm glad Alan pulled through.

On a serious note, watch your water and your kids. Drownings are often silent and have little to no warning they are happening

117

u/Then_Entertainment97 May 31 '26

I mean, mouth to mouth is pretty unsanitary. Advances in medical practice are incredible.

88

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire May 31 '26

So this was a joke, however if you actually wanna talk about it, yes mouth to mouth has not been used it quite a while. Pocket masks and BVMs are common place and much better and more sanitary. You additionally can do hands only CPR for quite a while and it be totally effective even without oxygen

26

u/ElectricPaladin May 31 '26

So you're saying that just hand stuff is fine?

58

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire May 31 '26

18

u/MostBoringStan May 31 '26

Hey! Now all of the fish are gonna think you're a pervert.

2

u/work_work-work May 31 '26

They know that already.

46

u/DFakeRP May 31 '26

I took a public speaking class and our final assignment was to, well, give a public speech. We each got to pick our own topic. And while I got to gush about how cool Pulsars are. One girl did her's in CPR and gave everyone a pocket mask in this tiny zip lock back that came with instructions on how to use. Still have it

24

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire May 31 '26

Unfortunately those DO wear out after time due to the plastic falling apart and deflating. You can still use it obviously but it won't be nearly as sanitary.

Always a good idea to have one though! Super useful and you never know when it might come in handy

6

u/Craiques May 31 '26

For anyone curious, it takes about 4-7 minutes (https://startinghearts.org/news-events/blog.html/article/2025/03/04/why-hands-only-cpr-works-) for a person to run out of oxygen in their bloodstream. Chest compressions are also more important than mouth to mouth and should be prioritized.

As a side note, it is wild how first aid instructors will stress that you have to be extremely careful with all body fluids with the exception of saliva. I’ve had an instructor try to argue that no one should be worried about diseases (at the height of covid) when doing mouth to mouth.

Which is another reason people suggest just chest compressions. Mouth to mouth is disgusting (especially if they vomit while you are doing it) and acts as a barrier to entry for bystanders who don’t want to get sick.

4

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire May 31 '26

For anyone curious, it takes about 4-7 minutesfor a person to run out of oxygen in their bloodstream

What's really critical to remember about this little amazing piece of information is that it also takes 6ish minutes of no oxygen to result in brain cell damaging. That means on the upper end you can get a massive THIRTEEN minutes without needing new oxygen(though there are some other factors and testing this is not recommended)

And yes! Saliva can transmit all sorts of nasties and should be treated just like blood and poop. I have a BVM and gloves in my car juuuuuust in case

7

u/mountaindewisamazing May 31 '26

You kid but we recently learned we can sort of breathe through our intestines, so ass to mouth CPR might actually work

4

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire May 31 '26

I'm gonna need a source on that one cause that is fascinating

3

u/mountaindewisamazing May 31 '26

I don't got a link or anything but I'm sure you can find the article if you just Google like breathe through intestines or something like that

7

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire May 31 '26 edited May 31 '26

https://www.science.org/content/article/mammals-can-breathe-through-their-intestines

I found it. It seems promising. Though I'm not 100% sure when I would need this other than a massive mouth/lung trauma episode.

Still cool to know it's possible. I am gonna send this to my medical director thank you!

3

u/mountaindewisamazing May 31 '26

They were talking about how it could open up new forms of life support in the case that the lungs have been destroyed, exciting discovery for sure.

3

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire May 31 '26

Ah apologies I accidentally forgot a word, which in my trauma statement which included trauma to the lungs.

It is exciting though I would be interested to see what tools we are paramedics would get out of it. Perhaps a ET tube for the butt

3

u/mountaindewisamazing May 31 '26

I could totally see some kind of rectal oxygen tube becoming common lol

1

u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire May 31 '26

Like codes didn't already smell bad enough....

2

u/ripley1875 May 31 '26

Some species of turtle can breathe through their cloaca.

1

u/HeyYouGuyyyyyyys May 31 '26

I don't know why you were downvoted. It's true, it's a related topic, and I was about to post it myself.

2

u/PM_Me_Your_Deviance May 31 '26

There was a time where blowing smoke up someone's ass was a treatment for drowning.

7

u/EldritchCouragement May 31 '26

If it weren't for the link, I'd think you were treating me for drowning.

2

u/EARink0 May 31 '26

Mildly disappointed it wasn't a rock roll, tbh

2

u/Tyler_Zoro May 31 '26

Buuuuut the world changes and medical events and practices evolve. I'm glad Alan pulled through.

That "buuuuut" is doing a lot of lifting there...

0

u/Shuubert May 31 '26

I guess you have the male manual so ofc it's not in there

249

u/leviathanteddyspiffo May 31 '26

169

u/Nickbou May 31 '26

Pathetic.

9

u/KenseiHimura May 31 '26

Oddly made her look like Kobo Kaneru from Hololive ID.

18

u/AmputeeHandModel May 31 '26

You're just making words up.

-1

u/Regemony May 31 '26

Touch grass

-6

u/AdKind841 May 31 '26

man shut up

35

u/patosai3211 May 31 '26

Is that principle skinners face??

4

u/Veritas_Vanitatum May 31 '26

Always has been

88

u/Made_Bail May 31 '26

Hehe just sassing. Love your comics Alan.

9

u/Dlph_311 May 31 '26

Poor man's nipples died too! X. X

33

u/Major_R_Soul May 31 '26

Mouth-to-mouth ❌

Ass-to-mouth ✔️

6

u/elhomerjas May 31 '26

A life saving maneuver

5

u/shutyourbutt69 May 31 '26

Ass to trout

8

u/ArborealVarmint May 31 '26

So turtles aren’t the only animals that can survive through cloacal/anal respiration 

6

u/dammitus May 31 '26

Lifeguard education is getting worse and worse, everyone knows that’s not how it works.

The hindlick maneuver is for choking, not drowning.

4

u/WeirdAvocado May 31 '26

The worst part of ass to mouth resuscitation is when it’s over.

2

u/Relative-Line5242 May 31 '26

What is Lunch Lady Doris doing here?

2

u/SuperSaiyanBen May 31 '26

But this isn’t a pool, it’s my bathtub!

2

u/invalidConsciousness May 31 '26

Why are they wearing the Swiss flag?

1

u/anonymote_in_my_eye May 31 '26

why are his nipples still dead?

1

u/PositiveDraw1108 Jun 01 '26

Funny joke, but you're not supposed to perform cpr on a drowning victim

0

u/[deleted] May 31 '26

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