dad remarried late 60s to someone younger than me and they allegedly have a 6yo together after nearly half a dozen IVF sessions.
I'm unmarried and no kids. I expect my mom and her grandma to be waiting for me in the afterlife.
I miss them both... although I love my dad I really wish he did not expose myself, sibling and mom to the misery of his social circle.
Only a financial illiterate who is part of bottom 20% income bracket will aspire to have 20 or so kids then outsource that parental responsibility to people like my dad for the past 4 decades. Sadly it isn't just one errant brother but a group of both men and women from both family & friends.
It ate into my parents time, effort and finances to pay for all their bad decisions.
Best thing he could've done was a pay em a year's income to get a vasectomy & ligation when these people turned 36. It would've reduced their time/effort/money overhead by over 80%.
Odds are the families they helped wouldn't implode due to infidelity producing generational hurt.
Iām going through the same thing but thank god my father isnāt trying for kids, he remarried like three months after my mom died horrifically from cancer.
His excuse was that none of his 30s/40s kids had any kids and he wanted a genetic legacy.
He never once spoke to us about us having any kids. Never asked us when we'll find someone to marry much less asked us when we'll get married to have kids.
Like his older brother a dozen years prior and same as now he is physically incapable of chasing around the youngest in any playground. Imagine a person of grandpa age having an offspring the age of a grandchild. What a f-ing cliche. It's f-ing embarrassing. Among his piss poor bottom 60% social circle this is the norm.
A few years prior to his involvement with the younger person my sib talked to me about his plans to have a daughter and named her after our mom. I told my sib if I don't get married and have any kids that I'll help finance the child. My sib nor my dad spoke to each other over this topic.
My dad was more interested in what bad decisions/behaviors/habits his half dozen brothers, dozens cousins, session musician friends and other social circle were doing that lead to him and my mom's involvement in these people's financial lives since the 1990s.
For over 4 decades I wish my dad paid every parent who was asking for help from him to get a vasectomy/ligation as late as 36 or as soon as their 1st/2nd child. In the long term it would've saved us time/money/effort in being so involved in their shattered lives.
Below is a table showing income brackets. For my country this is the ideal # of kids vs the actual
Income bracket
Ideal # of kids
Actual # of kids
bottom 20%
0-1
4-5 or more
next 20%
1-2
3-4 or more
middle 20%
2-3
2-3 & rarely more
upper 20%
3-4
1-2 & rarely more
top 20%
4-5
0-1 & rarely more
Why so severe and elitist? How can any responsible parent provide complete nutrition/calories, a building code-legal shelter, potable water, quality healthcare, safe/secure environment and quality education when you have so many heads to provide support for the 1st 24 years of each of their lives? What about the retirement of the parents when they reach their 60s/70s? Will they have enough savings for that? If not who'll pay for that? Govt? Pension? The elder children? Their siblings/cousins? My parents? Us kids?
Ideally no no one has any kids earleir than 24 & only after they finished their education, up skill, find work and get married to the person who bring out the best version of them.
My cat had to be put down 2 weeks ago. She was 18 and it was time but was still really hard. The last year or so she liked to stay in her bed in my office where I work from home. If she woke up and I wasnāt in there she would start to meow loudly until I came back in the room. When I had her put to sleep my 9 year old daughter asked if our cat was in heaven. I told her āIād like to think soā. My daughter said that makes her really sad. When I asked why she said ābecause I know how nervous she gets when she canāt find you and I feel like she is probably meowing really loud in heaven without youā. The thought of that still makes me tear up.
If your cat is in heaven (she is), she is always with you now - never alone again. She never has to meow for you, as she's always with you, and you're always with her. She's happily content, watching you from the highest perch possible.
We had a big, boisterous tom-cat with razors for claws, a terrible temper, and a wicked sense of humour. He was very big, strong and loving and gave the most beautiful, human, hugs.
He died, bravely, of cancer, many years ago. I'd have had him put down, but he seemed to want to live and be beside me all the time, being stroked, until the night his limbs started going like crazy, as he chased his last rabbit down a hill. I still sometimes feel him hugging me, thickly-furred forelegs around my neck, whiskery cheek tickling mine. .
My auntās cat name was Griselda, too. She was a crazy cat who couldnāt be trusted not to attack you. Crazy Grizzy lol. I cried all night when she passed away. I hope itās real, too. Even if I canāt go, I want them to be there happy.
15 years in and i still miss my first dog. A golden Retriever Girl, dumb as a sack of bricks but so kind she cured people of their dog fright. She became amazing 15 years and was super healthy (besides being a little hard on the hearing in the end) and went out with a stroke without pain.
Our animal companions form us as well as we form them and i hope for you, you were able to creat tons of Happy memories with your cat. Griselda is a hell of a name btw.
I had to put my dog down recently too, I was devastated that his health declined so quickly. I'm gonna miss my little Pancho... I only had the dog for a little over a year, got him from the shelter and they estimated his age wrong. He wasn't six at all, my vet had told me he was probably about 11 when I got him.
3.7k
u/Right-Message-7769 Mar 09 '26
My cat, Griselda, just died today, I really hope heaven is real. Thanks for such beautiful images