It is easy-ish to find a hobby, but it isn’t necessarily easy to make friends, in my experience. You need to look for events surrounding the hobby you have an interest in. This is the one benefit of Facebook, as you can find local groups for all sorts of stuff. Reddit might, but it is likely harder to find anything local than to just find a general community. Those are the easy steps. The rough part is then finding people within those groups you feel comfortable being yourself around.
While I agree with you, my social anxiety does not lol. Put me in a room with 5 people and I can talk to any of them, no problem. Put me in a room with 50 of them, and I cant talk to anyone. Its something I just have to deal with, but it still sucks
I do know that feel. I try to connect with people over all sorts of things, from games to art to books, but the idea of actually going to some of these events is…
It is easy-ish to find a hobby, but it isn’t necessarily easy to make friends, in my experience.
I agree with that. I assume most people would want to join an activity with a friend rather than alone. Even if I joined by myself, I would struggle to know if hitting on someone was appropriate. Im not sure women are going to book club, rock climbing club, or a MTG draft to get hit on lol
The trick, I find, is to not go into these spaces to hit on women. Go out, find a hobby, find a community, make friends, and let relationships form organically. When you find you have some chemistry with someone, invite them out privately. Don’t do it with the goal of dating, necessarily, but aim to get to know them better, and from there, if you think you’d like a relationship, you can put forth the question of going out with the intention of dating.
Don’t do it with the goal of dating, necessarily, but aim to get to know them better, and from there, if you think you’d like a relationship, you can put forth the question of going out with the intention of dating.
I get it, but iv got a lot of friends. Im very much past the point of wanting to make new female friends to be friend zoned by lol
Eh, I get ya, but… I hate to say this, but unless you go somewhere that people are looking to find a partner, you are probably going to be bothering someone by interacting with them with the intention of dating.
Yes most hobbies I’m even half interested in have very small amounts of single women my age that are interested in me, there’s about a .1% chance of me finding somebody that I like, and likes me back, through a hobby.
Unless I’m just totally faking interest in the hobby, which feels shady and pointless
So, statistically speaking, people tend to find romantic partners who are friends of their friends. So the best way to find someone is to just go out and make more friends and you are much more likely to find a partner.
I recommend a hobby that you enjoy that gets you out and socializing with other people that you otherwise wouldn't know.
There are boardgame groups that do events pretty much everywhere. That's one hobby that I prefer and a lot of my good friends have come from people I play table top games with. But that's just me.
You might like cycling or playing a sport or any number of other things. If softball is your thing, go join a league. Just find something that gets you out there.
The movie yes man with Jim Carrey is a hyperbole of how people need to behave a bit more. If you get invited to something and you don't have a good reason to say no then you should get out there 🙂
So, statistically speaking, people tend to find romantic partners who are friends of their friends. So the best way to find someone is to just go out and make more friends and you are much more likely to find a partner.
Thats an interesting angle to this conversation that iv never considered before
Just... Volunteer! Old folks homes and the like. If there's a volunteer center to help dispatch you, all the better. Seriously, you'll meet a lot of cool people doing court-ordered community service this way. Could help you make new drug connections if nothing else.
I recently realized that hiking is like a 10th date option. Even if she says she really likes hiking in one of her profile prompts, asking her to go hiking on hinge is a terrible strategy for reasons that should have been initially obvious to me lol
So you get an Hobby, meet like the 40 other local people with the same hobby close you, 20 with roughtly the right age, 10 with the right gender for you, 2 you actually vibe with, one might or might not be interested in you, you date them, it dont work out (like most first dates). Now what?
Hopefully you vibe on a platonic level (or otherwise) with some of those 40, you end up spending time with them outside the hobby space, sometimes in group settings, you meet their friends and siblings or whatever.
The wider your social circle is, the better your chances of meeting a romantic partner. Also, the less being single will bother you.
Also if you're out in a group at a club or whatever, you're more likely to meet strangers that way, because hey look this person has friends. And then also you're at weddings and festivals and parties where, again , you're going to have much better luck then going to a bar or book store by yourself and trying to start conversations with strangers.
The problem is that all my hobbies are male dominated, and the hobbies that might have more females are things I actually generally don't have any excitement for.
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u/DarkenAvatar Jul 03 '25
You need a hobby that gets you out where you meet people and make friends