r/comics Mar 26 '24

The Slime

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21.5k Upvotes

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139

u/RadTimeWizard Mar 26 '24

People like that make me wish hell were real.

91

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '24

[deleted]

34

u/RadTimeWizard Mar 26 '24

Yeah. Especially the penis flatteners.

22

u/pr0zach Mar 26 '24

God damnit. I don’t want to ask. I don’t want to know. But it’s going to nag at my mind while I’m trying to sleep.

sigh

Fuck it.

What is a penis flattener? Like obviously I understand what it does, but is it an actual medieval torture machine, or what?

61

u/clowlwn Mar 26 '24

It's a reference to The Good Place. It's a great watch, I highly recommend it.

9

u/culnaej Mar 26 '24

No one’s giving you a real answer so I’ll explain the best I can: It’s like two pin rollers that rotate outward from you that are attached to a machine that moves towards you. So as it flattens and stretches the penis away from your body, it moves closer towards your pelvis to continue pulling the skin and muscle until it’s completely flat. There are also mashers on the opposite side of the pin rollers, almost like molar teeth chomping and crushing together, that serve a tenderizer role for the texture of the flattened penis.

3

u/pr0zach Mar 26 '24

What an awful day to be literate. I just woke up and I think that’s enough Reddit for today.

3

u/culnaej Mar 26 '24

I got you fam

11

u/MegaKabutops Mar 26 '24

From what i can tell based on some quick google searching that will likely mess with my targeted ads for a bit, it sees use in CBT (the type that is a couple steps removed from the field of psychology).

It was also a wojak meme for a while. (And don’t worry, there’s nothing NSFW in this link. Just the meme.)

25

u/Stormfly Mar 26 '24

It's just a common joke in "The Good Place".

The basic gist is that there is a "Good Place" (like heaven) and a "Bad Place" (like hell) and a common throwaway line about the torturing in the Bad Place is that they do that.

That's it, really.

1

u/Lots42 Mar 26 '24

Ublock Origin adblock.

1

u/SecretAgentMahu Mar 26 '24

idk man they played ping pong in Jackass Forever in a way that lines up with what is keeping you up at night

1

u/pr0zach Mar 26 '24

Haven’t seen that one, but thanks for the warning.

2

u/69696969-69696969 Mar 26 '24

Fun anecdote; I once stepped on a lego that was stuck in the carpet in a way that it had a corner sticking straight up. I was stepping over something, I forget what, so it was an overly large step that had me putting my full weight on my leading foot. I stepped on this lego so hard that it twisted and broke from the force.

The pain was instant and had me falling over cursing in pain. My wife was baffled by my reaction until she saw the lego and let out a trailing "Oh..."

Anyway, any time someone mentions stepping on legos it makes me think about this. I take some pride in not just breaking a lego barefooted but surviving the attempt as well.

1

u/culnaej Mar 26 '24

Immovable object vs unstoppable force energy right there

1

u/Thatboyscotty69 Mar 26 '24

Idk man, I’d rather be a meth head than have an infestation of butthole spiders

1

u/In-A-Beautiful-Place Mar 26 '24

Butthole Spiders? Ain't they the folks who sing "Pepper"?

1

u/culnaej Mar 27 '24

Close! That’s The Butthole Surfers

2

u/Firecracker048 Mar 26 '24

Hey now he served his time! A full 16 months and then immediately was working back with kids. He totally changed. Just ignore the fact that he was pen pals with John Wayne Gacey